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What secrets do you know about people that you could never confess you've found out?

(166 Posts)
MyBedMakesItself Fri 09-May-14 22:54:25

Inspired from another thread (is that allowed? blush )

I'll go first...

Friend A - I know you have had an affair in the past and that your DH is totally oblivious to it...or is he?
Friend B - I know you've had an abortion, and I feel sad that you couldn't talk to me about it. I love you and wouldn't have judged you.

MaryWestmacott Tue 13-May-14 12:41:55

Kentishgirl - you can tell us...

AphraBane Tue 13-May-14 13:02:21

<checks this is in Chat - please don't move to Classics, I don't want this to be permanent>

To my cousins: I have known for many years that your mum had a baby out of wedlock (yes, that was the term used back then) in a decade when that kind of thing mattered, and was thrown out of her parents' house and forced to give the baby up for adoption (think of Call the Midwife type of scenario). I knew this because when I was a child the adults were in the habit of having all sorts of conversations and forgot I was there.

Recently I was researching the family tree and because of an unusual surname I now accidentally know the baby's exact date of birth, gender and birth name. And obviously, I can never ask if you know about your half-brother because then you WOULD know about it. Obviously, if your mum had wanted you to know, she'd have told you. But I still feel bad about knowing these things.

Friend A.
I know who you are.

Acquaintance B. Your dad isn't the same as your sisters dad, despite what you have all been led to believe.

Acquaintance C. I know but don't know that you 'helped' your end-stage terminally ill relative to their end. You are truly selfless, and I have nothing but admiration for you. And so will your relative when you meet again. Your secret is safe with me.

PiratePanda Tue 13-May-14 13:10:22

Dear Friend A

Your publisher sucks. They cancelled your book launch for utterly spurious reasons less than a week before it was due to take place, so I and Friend B rallied round and put an event on anyway so you'd never know. Found out later you're not the only one they've done that to.

If you're still puzzled as to why I'll never publish anything with them, that's why.

ballsballsballs Tue 13-May-14 13:13:07

Y: I know that you cheated on your new wife and you have a baby with X. You utter bellend.

X. You're a manipulative, evil cow. I know that you lied to our mutual friends about my DH being violent to me (he isn't as you well know), and they cut off contact with him. I also know you planned to sleep with Y and have his child because you wanted a baby.

You've only recently tried to get back in touch with me as you've probably run through the latest bunch of friends. Stay the fuck away.

Z: I can't tell you that your dad isn't the man who brought you up. He knows, too, but he loves you to the moon and back. I don't know if you've been told.

BintyMcBintington Tue 13-May-14 13:27:19

Exdp's best friend tried to kiss me not long after his wife of 5 months found out he was having an affair and was in the process of forgiving him. I told ex (who didn't give a shit) but I have never said a word to his wife. I don't think it would have made any difference anyway.

chriskent1010 Tue 13-May-14 13:51:17

Friend 1: I know you lost your virginity to a teacher at school when you were 14. I also know this left you pregnant and you had his baby in the school holidays between years 10 and 11. I know your parents forced you to give it away. You got really drunk on the last day of school and told me all of this in the car park under the gym. I don't think you remember any of this. I've been waiting for you to talk to me about this ever since but you've never said a word.

Friend 2: I know you came off the Pill so the man you're having an affair with will get your pregnant. You think this will make him leave his wife but it won't.

Friend 3: I know your husband didn't come home to his parents house on the night before you wedding. His best friend has always said hat your husband got blind drunk and crashed there but I know he didn't. He slept with Emma. I know because I was staying in the same house as Emma was and had the room next door. She was having loud sex with someone for much of the night and in the morning, your husband crept out of the room and didn't know I'd seen. I felt sick when he stood making them vows to you but I didn't (and still don't) know what to say.

Colleague: I know you're sleeping with one of the second year students in our (university) department. You're married and your wife gave birth to your second child a month ago. You make me sick.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat Tue 13-May-14 16:23:22

Ex Colleague. I know that you have a criminal record. It wasn't nice for me to find out by being dragged into the HR office at the secure location that we had to visit and them demanding why I had tried to take such an inappropriate person into their facility.

DPs lovely mate's ex wife. Your ex DH not funding your shopping addiction including multiple mulberry handbags is not domestic abuse and claiming that it is insulting to genuine victims.

Jumblebee Tue 13-May-14 16:43:29

Auntie: I know you had a baby at 15 and my grandparents made you give him up for adoption. I don't know if my cousin knows she has an older brother, it's not exactly suitable conversation.

I secretly hope that one day you will both meet each other, I'd love to get to know him.

Blondiebrownie Tue 13-May-14 17:13:29

Dad; I know you look up disgusting videos online, I'm not surprised really and I'm glad that you have nothing to do with me or my DS's anymore.

TheSlagOfSnacks Tue 13-May-14 17:18:04

Friend A, I know that you sexually propositioned friend B in the back of a cab one night after you'd had one too many 'party tablets'. You are both straight men.

Friend C, I know your dad was in prison for sexual assault when we were kids in primary school and he wasn't working abroad. I saw about it in the paper when he was sentenced.

Normalisavariantofcrazy Tue 13-May-14 18:37:15

A lighthearted one as this has all gone a bit serious

DH those sex toys I said id been sent for free to test out, I'd actually bought them.

I know if I suggest buying them you'll have a fit and say no with a look of disgust. This way you seem to accept them and enjoy them.

I'm surprised you've never questioned the generosity of a company I've 'never' bought things from...

Trollsworth Tue 13-May-14 18:47:34

Friend A - I know how you got pregnant and it was not the sperm bank like you told your girlfriend.

Friend B - you did not get high marks on your gcse, why do you even lie about that? You're thirty four!

Friend C - I know you don't ever cook. You order takeaway all the time and that's why you're skint and your three kids are fat.

Friend D - I know you dumped your last boyfriend because he was poor, but does your soon to be husband know that? Ps stop pretending to be a middle class innocent dove, I've had to drag you off a bouncer's lap before.

Dancingwiththedrummer Tue 13-May-14 18:58:52

Cousins I know that your eldest brother isn't your brother and he was adopted, even though he's in his 50s he still doesn't know and neither do his siblings.

Friend A - your husband used to be a male stripper

Friend B - I know your mother was arrested for shoplifting but you were too enbarresed to say anything

ballsballsballs Tue 13-May-14 19:15:12

DBIL, I know you don't have a degree and blagged your job using a fake degree certificate.

ohdobuckup Tue 13-May-14 19:59:02

Friend A _ you don't know I saw you take your ex to the hotel while married to your husband, who didn't want children with you as he already had four with his first wife, (and had told you that before you married). You got pregnant by ex and your lovely teen boy doesn't know who his dad is, and your husband is a better man than many by turning a blind eye...he does know, you know.

Colleague B -we saw you on in- house cctv having sex with that much much younger man...we wont tell your husband as his health isn't good, but we might yet show you the video....

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