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Sleepover for 13 year olds. Live thread.

(15 Posts)
LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood Sat 03-May-14 23:43:29

It's happening now. 13, 12 and 13 year olds for DD1's birthday.

Mostly they are still going strong. Excited. A bit loud. But not rowdy.

DD2 (9) and her friend are fast asleep in her room. DS (2.10) also asleep. The girls are not disturbing anyone.

Except that 3 of their number have taken themselves off to another room (they are all 'camping out' with sleeping bags and bed rolls downstairs) and these 3 have stated that they need to get to sleep. They are being a little bit 'precious' and have told me that their mothers would want them to go to bed now.

Am I failing the ones who want to sleep by not insisting on quiet now?

I'd kind of expected them not to get much sleep and factored that into my plans for the weekend. But other parents might not have done. I know this isn't AIBU (its been a busy day and I couldn't face it). But AIBU to let my 13 YO and her friends do what they want this late on a birthday sleepover?

secretcbeebiesfan Sat 03-May-14 23:47:00

YANBU. Leave them to it! They will soon think twice for the next sleepover ;) they are having fun and that's how it should be smile

wine for you though! Very brave and it's great that you are relaxed and allowing them to have lots of fun smile

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood Sat 03-May-14 23:57:43


LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood Sat 03-May-14 23:58:43


Am going to bed now. They are all going strong.

They are good girls. But are getting a bit loud!

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 04-May-14 00:05:31

I always used to call time by now at any age, they can giggle quietly together till dawn if they can stay awake. I figure that at least if they are horizontal in their sleeping bags with lights out at least the tired ones can drift off!!!

PenguinBear Sun 04-May-14 00:06:50

When 14yo has friends to stay I usually expect them to get no sleep but they are usually all asleep by 4am ish grin


PrincessBabyCat Sun 04-May-14 00:07:03

The whole point of sleep overs is to stay up all night eating junk food talking about stupid shit. Even if you told them to quiet down, you'd just hear whispering and hushed giggles all night. wink

Sounds like a good time! grin

nooka Sun 04-May-14 00:08:54

If three of them want to go to sleep at almost midnight then I think you are being a bit unkind in not encouraging the other girls to be quiet.

My dd (also 13) gets horrible migraines if she is over tired and is only allowed to sleepovers if she goes to sleep at a relatively sensible time. I would be seriously unimpressed if she went on a sleepover and tried to be sensible and still wasn't able to sleep due to lots of noise because the upshot could well be a day of extreme pain. When she was younger we would explain this to parents but now we often may not have met, so she has to do the talking. I would be very pissed off if she was dismissed as 'precious'.

In this case what three of your guests want to do is to go to sleep, I would ask the other girls to be quieter. They can still stay up and have fun.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood Sun 04-May-14 00:13:44

Well that's what I figured. But am new to this parenting of teenagers! They had an activity based afternoon and a big tea back at ours then a film plus silly games.

I've essentially left them to it and am going to bed as toddler will be up by 6am if I'm lucky and earlier if I'm not.

Hope I'm not going to be decried as a negligent mother.

Preciousbane Sun 04-May-14 00:14:15

I did this a few weeks ago four 13 year old boys, I was tempted to break open a bottle of pimms I have but I don't really drink.

Ended up with me popping in to ds bedroom at 2.30am with an anymore noise and I would be ringing their Mothers first thing. They shut up then.

PrincessBabyCat Sun 04-May-14 00:14:23

Yeah, but at the same time would you really expect a party of 13 girls loaded up on soda and birthday cake to actually go to bed at a decent hour Nooka? Chances are, you wouldn't allow your daughter to go to a party like that in the first place. You don't go to a big slumber party like that with the expectation of a good night's sleep. Those 3 girls are all sitting in there whispering in the other room to each other, I guarantee it.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood Sun 04-May-14 00:22:58

Oh. Just seen nooka's post.

I have known 2 of the 3 girls since they were all toddlers. I'm mot aware of any medical issues. The 3rd I have only known for 2 years. She does have a lot of food allergies and I have accommodated all of these in my planning as I wanted her to be able to come. I have not been told about anything else.

They are quieting down now and I accept that its reasonable to want to sleep. It's just hard to know how much to intervene when they get to this age.

Thanks for the opinions. They are quiet. I'm going to sleep now.

nooka Sun 04-May-14 00:37:08

It's always a very difficult balance Princess but if we don't ever let her go to parties then she loses an important part of her social life and that's pretty rotten too. I wouldn't expect her to have a good night's sleep, but I have allowed her to go to parties on the proviso that she takes herself off somewhere quieter before it gets excessively late (midnight would be OK).

Otherwise we go and pick her up at a similar sort of time.

We're pretty fierce when we have kids over to be honest, and I'd not want lots of noise past midnight for myself so I would have told the noisy ones to be quite and go to sleep by now, expecting them to whisper instead of shout (teenage girls are so noisy!).

ds has been to sleepovers when they didn't stop playing games/watching videos until past 3am and I did think that was a bit irresponsible (whilst telling my shattered boy that he was an idiot).

mathanxiety Sun 04-May-14 05:35:02

They will either nod off or remain up, get their second wind and decide to bake something at 2.30 am.

Hope not a creature is stirring.

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