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would you knock on strangers door - poo related?

(80 Posts)
shggg245 Sat 03-May-14 21:47:48

This happened today - middle aged, well dressed couple knocked on my door, the woman desperatly needed the loo!

I was mortified as my house looked like a bomb had gone off but I let her in and made sure she had hand towel and inspected loo to make sure it was acceptable. At least she opened the window but blimey the pong!

Dh says I should've refused but we live in a fairly remote location and they seemed trustworthy. I didn't want to appear tight.

Is it me or is this quite a strange thing to do? Personally I wouldn't have the bottle. So wwyd?

PenguinBear Sun 04-May-14 00:04:40

Is have said yes as I suffer with IBS and know when you have to go, you simply have to go!

How long was she in there for?

iK8 Sun 04-May-14 00:00:32

What a dilemma! Shit in pants or be eaten by lions? Tricky.

TheHappyMonkey Sat 03-May-14 22:35:09

The Economist, obviously. Standards you know, standards.

WorraLiberty Sat 03-May-14 22:34:23

Perish the thought!

I hope you wiped your arse with a page from the Times

TheHappyMonkey Sat 03-May-14 22:29:00

Well exactly. I'm a lot of things but I can't be accused of poohing into just any old common or garden carrier bag!

WorraLiberty Sat 03-May-14 22:25:05

I'm nearly in tears here, laughing at you mentioning it was a Waitrose bag HappyMonkey!!! grin

At least it was a 'naice' little shit and not a common one wink

RandallFloyd Sat 03-May-14 22:24:30

Arf @ 'excitable bowels' grin

ThatBloodyWoman Sat 03-May-14 22:22:20

You can get lovely folding ones Sparkling!

Sparklingbrook Sat 03-May-14 22:21:12

But if it's summer and the ground is rock hard That? I think a handbag trowel is in order. grin

TheHappyMonkey Sat 03-May-14 22:20:56

Ps I was quite young. I do have very excitable bowels.

ThatBloodyWoman Sat 03-May-14 22:19:49

Sparkling I was thinking that too.

I came up with keys (could take a while though),fold up hairbrush (has possibilities),or, (my piece de resistance) <fanfare>, my plastic tampon holder box thingy!

TheHappyMonkey Sat 03-May-14 22:19:45

Worra I have done the poohing in a bag thing, whilst hiding behind a bush in my mums front garden! I was locked out. Didn't even think to go and ask the neighbours grin clearly shitting in a bag (a waitrose one FYI) was my go to option!

shggg245 Sat 03-May-14 22:18:53

Properly laughing now - feel less paranoid and pleased with my good deed. Won't be doing it again mind.

Be careful out there people and thanks for making me giggle.

Sparklingbrook Sat 03-May-14 22:18:47

sad Happy, a very memorable day out.

TheHappyMonkey Sat 03-May-14 22:18:03

It was grim, although at the same time very comical. As I emerged from behind the tree and walked towards the truck,covered in sick and shit, with everyone watching me, I was telling myself 'just keep your head up and try to look as dignified as possible' until I got about about two metres away when I realised it was all about to happen again and had to leg it back behind the tree. The prospect of being eaten by lions was surprisingly low down my list of concerns at that point.

Sparklingbrook Sat 03-May-14 22:17:11

can you imagine opening your front door and seeing me digging a hole in your garden with my Clubcard and pooing in it shggg? grin Much more preferable. grin

shggg245 Sat 03-May-14 22:15:23

Guffaws at sparkling - you're all very funny! No loo brush. Very naice clarins hand wash though which makes up for the filth and chaos everywhere else.

WorraLiberty Sat 03-May-14 22:15:23

Yeah but if you had a spare bag in your pocket, you'd just poo in that instead of the bush surely?

I mean poo in the bag, not in your pocket...obvs.

ThatBloodyWoman Sat 03-May-14 22:14:42

Oh TheHappy,that sounds grim sad

Sparklingbrook Sat 03-May-14 22:14:41

grin That. I don't think anything in my handbag would be any good for digging. Tesco Clubcard maybe?

restandpeace Sat 03-May-14 22:14:15

Tricky... Glad you were kind though

TheHappyMonkey Sat 03-May-14 22:13:26

I have done some of my most dramatic poohs behind trees and in bushes. I don't know why I feel the need to share that with you but I do. It's never occurred to me to knock on someone else's door!
In one particularly exciting incident I simultaneously shat and puked all over myself behind a tree in a safari park where lions were wandering around and two truck loads of tourists were waiting patiently for me on the other side of the tree. That was a real low point. Obviously in that case there was no option of door knocking, the only alternative was to do it all in my pants.

ThatBloodyWoman Sat 03-May-14 22:12:44

Well,Sparkling you would need to have a poo then dig a hole, and shuffle it in....!

Sparklingbrook Sat 03-May-14 22:12:17

I think ideally all poo should be bagged if possible.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 03-May-14 22:11:08

DS1 had to poo in a bush once. I didn't bag it.

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