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I have a GP appointment tomorrow

(34 Posts)
sickoffeelinglow Tue 18-Feb-14 23:04:42

I made it because I have a water infection.

But now that I am going, I think I need to bring other stuff up too.

I have been feeling low for the past 2 years. In that time I have had DD2. Pregnancy was a nightmare. I spent most of it in bed. We had a hideous time, very stressed, and I didn't cope well at all. I was detached from reality.

Had DD2 and all was well for maybe 4-5 months. Then I sank right back into it despite the fact that our situation had improved. I think it was some kind of coming to terms with it thing.

Anyway, around july/august the cloud started to lift and I was doing better. But I had a family member get sick just before xmas, and they then died three weeks ago. I am not weepy, just unmotivated, low, keep thinking about death. I have no energy, I am comfort eating and putting on weight and then feeling shit. I can't break the cycle.

I feel lost. I can't even cry but the simplest of tasks have me feeling like my brain is shutting down. I feel worthless and my confidence is at rock bottom. I was trying to take my mind of it all by throwing myself in to planning our wedding and DPs new business but I don't see the point anymore. I don't know what I want to do with my life because I don't think I would be good at anything.

Luckily DP is here to pick up the slack around the house. But most days its all I can do to get out of bed and sit on the sofa.

Oh god. Its too long already.

Anyway, I have this appointment in the morning, and I have to tell the doc about this don't I? Will she tell me to suck it up? What will happen?

I am so tired of feeling like this. I just want it to stop.

SparklyPandora Tue 18-Feb-14 23:12:58

Definitely bring it up. Life isn't supposed to be that hard. I lived how you describe for at least six years and every day was a struggle. But I told myself that I was lucky, two children, didn't have to work, etc., etc. - however the reality was that I was quite severely depressed.
I still haven't reached a point where life is normal for me. I've been on medication for six months but I am learning. I have days where everything is so easy I am amazed by it. I haven't found life that easy since childhood.
You need to mention it, you will be advised and you will start getting better.
So sorry to hear about your family member sad
Let us know how you get on. X

longtallsally2 Tue 18-Feb-14 23:13:09

Well done on making that appointment. Why not print off your op and either read it to her, or just let her read it. No, she won't tell you to suck it up!! She's a GP and enjoys making people feel better! You have done brilliantly battling on so far - you aren't a whinger running in to her at the first wobbly day! You have coped for 2 years, but it's time now to let someone help you too. You may be amazed at how much she can help.

If she recommends anti depressants, it may just be for a short while, to give you a boost and help you regain your energy, and your confidence. You won't have to be on them for life!

Hope that tomorrow is a new beginning for you (though you need to be aware that they do take a couple of weeks to kick in, and some people actually feel worse for a week or two before feeling better.)

HauntedNoddyCar Tue 18-Feb-14 23:17:07

You do need to tell them, yes. A decent gp shouldn't tell you to suck it up. It sounds like depression and maybe pnd but either way there are options they should discuss with you.
I sat down and burst into tears and they were fine about that. I had antidepressants which helped.
If you think it's going to be hard, print out your post and give it to them.
Good luck.

sickoffeelinglow Tue 18-Feb-14 23:20:32

Thank you for your replies. I have tears in my eyes. I haven't cried since the funeral. I think I need to.

I think I have been like this since childhood too, but never this bad. I want to be better for my kids and maybe that realisation is making it all worse.

I hope you keep feeling better Sparkly.

SparklyPandora Tue 18-Feb-14 23:56:06

Thank you sick. Good luck in the morning and be brave. My BF went to the Dr the other day with depression symptoms and he was so tied down by stigma he couldn't speak for the first 3 minutes and then he spent an hour and forty minutes with the GP - for a 10 min appointment shock. He needed it and she recognised that. They do care and will listen X

sickoffeelinglow Wed 19-Feb-14 00:09:28

Its so hard. I am scared that my voice will shake and I will break down. I need help but saying it aloud to a GP is like confronting it head on, and that's scary.

My heads just a mess. A big jumble of thoughts that don't connect or make sense.

Oh sickof - Be brave, it will require a gathering up of your courage and such energy as you can muster, but hopefully it will be helpful. If all else fails, write it all down, and just hand it to the doctor while you sob I've been there and done that Just getting it all off your chest may well be cathartic and there ARE things the doc can do to help you, honestly, even if everything looks so very bleak and you don't think there will ever be an end to it.
I've been where you are and it so damn hard to just wake up and get out of bed, let alone leave the house so well done you on making the appointment.
You Can Do It grin and get there, and we will be thinking of you and holding your hand in spirit the whole way there and home again.

sickoffeelinglow Wed 19-Feb-14 09:58:19

It was a male doctor in the end. He has prescribed me with 20mg fluoexetine. He did talk about CBT but I think he was trying to get me to agree to medication while trying to make me feel it had been my choice.

So, is 20mg a normal dose? Low? High?

I have to go back in two weeks so he can check if I have any side effects, and he says I should start noticing some change in 3-4 weeks.

I am scared.

Spacefrog35 Wed 19-Feb-14 10:04:23

Well done for going and talking to them smile

I don't know about the dosage you're on but in my experience it's quite common for them to stick you on a low dose medication for a little while to see if that's enough of a 'boost' to get you levelled out & able to cope. If not (which is nothing to be ashamed of) then they may alter the dose and also talk to you further about how counselling may be able to help you.

Stick with it, it will take a little while but you deserve the help.

sickoffeelinglow Wed 19-Feb-14 10:20:07

Thanks. I am worried about the side effects. It says if I get sleepy I shouldn't drive, and I wouldn't, but that is going to make things difficult.

He says ideally I will be on them 6-12months. That seems so long and not long enough all at the same time. I just don't believe they will work.

magimedi Wed 19-Feb-14 10:25:50

You have been so brave making that first step & going to the Dr. Well done, it's the hardest bit.

I ended up on citralopram for a year - I didn't want to take them but they have made such a difference to me. When I look back to how I was with the anxiety I can't believe I am the same person.

I found taking my medication in the evening was good as it didn't matter that I felt sleepy at bedtime.

Well done to you for what you have done today. Have a brew & congratulate yourself.


Snufflebabe05 Wed 19-Feb-14 10:26:47

Just wanted to say well done for being brave and talking about how you are feeling.

Sometimes just knowing that someone 'gets it' us a help in itself.

HauntedNoddyCar Wed 19-Feb-14 10:32:50

Well done smile

Don't know the dosage for fluoxetine but I was on a low dose ad and it just seemed to take the dullness off things iyswim. Things weren't so hopeless.

Threw first couple of weeks can be tricky but if you feel suicidal then it isn't suiting you. It's like jeans and finding the best fit is a process.

Do start taking them though. Nothing changing ever is scary. This is just a tablet.

sickoffeelinglow Wed 19-Feb-14 10:43:39

Ah shit. I have just taken it. I should have waited until this evening.

I will take it tomorrow evening.

I don't feel brave. I feel like a fraud. I still can't let it sink in that I have depression. I know that I do, but I can't believe it. Does that even make sense?

Kerosene Wed 19-Feb-14 10:52:11

I'm on Fluoxetine, and that's the normal dose. It can go up to 80 in specific cases, but that's quite rare, and most people do ok on 20.

I've not noticed any particular side effects (in fact, now they've started to kick in, I've noticed that I've got more energy), but everyone reacts differently, which is why he wants to see you regularly. They're working well for me. I was previously on citralopram, which didn't help at all - but I know lots of people that they are good for. If Fluoxetine doesn't help you, it may be beneficial to switch to another type - see how you're doing in 6-8 weeks, if you don't have any other side effects.

Well done for taking the first step. If you can, you may find it useful to push for CBT. Some areas will let you self-refer to the local talking therapies service - maybe investigate that, if your GP is being slow. It takes an age to get appointments however (I was referred at the start of January, and I should theoretically hear by the end of the week when my appointments will start - likely another 4 weeks after I hear), so do keep taking the pills while you wait.

baldisbeautiful Wed 19-Feb-14 10:52:17

Well done on going to the docs. My DM has been suffering for the last 6 years or so since a bereavment (although to be honest it really goes back to her childhood from what she's told me). SHe has finally made an appointment with GP for the end of this month, but is very resistant to drugs or therapy, and to even admitting that she has a medical problem if I'm honest. We are waiting with bated breath to see how she gets on. Good luck - I think that admitting you need help is probably the hardest bit and you've done that now. Good luck.

Kerosene Wed 19-Feb-14 10:56:12

crossposted - yep, that makes perfect sense, and is pretty common for people newly diagnosed! You are brave though, and you're not a fraud.

magimedi Wed 19-Feb-14 10:56:30

Don't worry, sickof (and I am sure you'll be able to change that name soon) - the main thing is that you have taken it & started the course.

You may well not feel sleepy but if you do at least you'll have an answer to it tomorrow.

Yes, you do make sense & I am not surprised you feel a bit overwhelmed after your appointment and telling all of us on here. Two huge steps.

Can you try to make it three steps & do something nice for yourself today? Paint your nails or buy a bunch of daffs or make a cake or treat yourself to a bar of choc? You really do deserve a treat.

I bet your DH will be thrilled with what you have done & so will your DD, even though she is too young to understand. You are doing it for them as well as yourself.


HerGraciousMajTheBeardedPotato Wed 19-Feb-14 11:09:18

I feel like a fraud. I still can't let it sink in that I have depression. I know that I do, but I can't believe it. Does that even make sense?

Complete sense. <<<<hugs>>>>

Please notice that not one single poster is judging or doubting you.

Well done for asking for help. Don't beat yourself up either for doing so, or for waiting until now to do so.

Give the medication time to take effect. Recovering from depression is not a straight line, take it easy and be gentle with yourself.

CBT is a wonderful thing. Because you have been depressed for so long, you will, inevitably, be thinking unhelpful thoughts and they will have become entrenched thought patterns. CBT will help you break the hold that the negative thoughts have over you.

sickoffeelinglow Wed 19-Feb-14 11:09:29

I made a deal with myself this morning, that if I got up, had a shower and actually told the doc about it (instead of scurrying out after getting the water infecton dealt with) I could go back to bed. blush

So I am back in bed. Only for a little while though. Might go get some shopping in a bit.

I hope your DM gets the help she needs bald.

You all have no idea just how much you are helping. DP is listening, and he's helping, but to have encouragement and to hear from others who have experienced it is really helping.


Trooperslane Wed 19-Feb-14 11:13:55

I take my citalopram in the morning because it suits me better.

Well done for being really honest with the doc - it's a very brave but necessary first step.


magimedi Wed 19-Feb-14 11:14:37

We'll be with you all the way, lo

(I'm going to call you lo as it's a bit of your name & I hate calling you sick grin ).

HerGraciousMajTheBeardedPotato Wed 19-Feb-14 11:16:57

Well done! Really and truly. Absolutely no need to be blush about it. smile

Setting yourself achievable targets is an excellent strategy.

Having a little list of short-term to-dos is very helpful, especially if you make sure they are achievable. Even things like 'brush hair'. Because seeing those ticks down the side is so incredibly encouraging. And you can add things to the list as you do them. It becomes a recording your achievements. Baby steps, baby steps.

I take 20mg fluoxetine, and while it hasn't been a "miracle pill", I think it has done something for me. Not long after I started taking it, we had two bereavements in the family, and I coped, got through them, and was and am able to support my Mam too - my Nanna and Dad passed away so of course my poor Mam was in bits sad - and I don't think I could have managed to keep going without the pills iyswim.
It's not that I'm all happy clappy and grin grin on them, but that the swings from HIGHHHHH to loooooowwwwww have stopped, and I can just "get on with it" more easily. I no longer get so overwhelmed as I used to, and can face "doing stuff"
Hopefully you'll feel it start to work soon, and honestly, just being able to say to yourself "tomorrow I will do XYZ" and then actually waking up and doing it can make such a difference. Hang in there smile

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