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Another thread about childish and stupid issues on Facebook.

(127 Posts)
NobodyIsHere Tue 18-Feb-14 20:28:08

I am very active and so is Dd, we like to be busy when there is no school and we like to meet with our best friends. We don't see them very often because they all go to different schools.

So, like I do every half term and holidays, I sent by email all my plans to my closest friends. I break up all the activities I am doing in different days and times with the addresses and meeting points and price if it isn't free. This way whoever is available and wants to meet me, knows where to find me.

Today I met with one of the friends and she was telling me how "funny" that another friend, I will call S, copied and paste my email on a FB message as though as it was her planning...

What happened was, one lady who is an acquaintance of mine, (she wendied me years ago, talks behind my back and seems to have a problem with me), created a group message on FB sharing one half therm event. My friends are in this group because they are friendly with this lady too. And all the group members are my acquaintances, we all live in the same area. Than S trying to be cool simply paste all of my email on this group message and also invited all people in the group to come along. WTF?
I know all the events and activities are in public places and etc, but how cheeky of her just pasting my email like that not even changing a word.
Is it even normal??

So the friend i met today, after I insisted a lot, showed me the conversation on her FB and I was beside myself. Specially because S already came up with not only one but two crap excuses not to do anything yesterday or today and I had her child with me for the whole two days just to help her out.

Yet she is posing as this cool, outgoing, active and organised mum who sorted out amazing stuff for her kid and friends during the school break, totally stealing my ideas.

I know I am being totally U but I needed to rant it here. Dh won't get it.

NobodyIsHere Tue 18-Feb-14 21:21:33


TobyLerone Tue 18-Feb-14 21:39:29

It all sounds totally crackers, if you ask me.

Sorry, but I'm with your DH. Why is sending around a list of potential activities "cool"? What is "wendied"?! Why on earth do you tell your friends where you are going to be on every day of the holidays?

WorraLiberty Tue 18-Feb-14 21:43:30

No it's not normal

But then to be honest, sending an email to your friends telling them all what you have planned to do with your child isn't really that normal either.

What happened to planning days out/activities together?

I think it'd annoy me a bit if a friend sent me an email with that sort of break down, but each to their own of course.

MammaTJ Tue 18-Feb-14 21:44:08


Gladvent Tue 18-Feb-14 21:48:59

So S is giving everyone the impression that she has sorted all this interesting fun stuff when actually (a) you did and (b) you're having her child for 2 days of a 5 day holiday?!

It might have been lazy copy/pasting or she might be a Wendy-in-training.

By the way I would love to get an email from friend saying we're doing x y and z and would love you to join us. Sometimes I feel like the only person in my group of friends who comes up with ideas. I have a few flaky friends too so I prefer to plan something anyway, knowing they might bail, rather than arranging to visit each other and then getting left with nothing to do iyswim.

TenThousandSpoons Tue 18-Feb-14 21:49:24

I'd be annoyed if a "best friend" sent me a list if everything they're doing over half term to join in with if I wanted, along with a load of other people. I'd rather arrange to meet someone then plan together what we'd both like to do, depending on weather etc too. I don't think it makes you sound "active/cool", more like you are not that bothered about meeting up with friends.
Copying your whole email to a Facebook group as if it was her own planning was weird too though. What if one of her friends then went along thinking they'd meet up with her and she wasn't even there? All a bit odd.

SundaySimmons Tue 18-Feb-14 21:49:45

Is this really how things are done nowadays?

Wow! It's all a bit, I'm not sure there is a word for it, oh yes......anal!

I mean, seriously writing an email of your plans? I would consider that strange in itself. Sorry, don't want to be unkind but that would come across to me that you are a bit up your own arse! Sorry!

As for the other woman copying it, then that is odd, but I still can't get over the fact there is an original email to copy from in the first place!

It's good to plan ahead but to have an itinerary that you send out, well it just makes me, cringe.

I really don't want to offend you but that is how it comes across to me, but my children are grown up, so perhaps this is the modern way of doing things. If it is, I am so glad I missed it!

gobbin Tue 18-Feb-14 21:50:28

It reads like "This is what I'm doing this half term, join me if you wish to revolve your lives around my terribly exciting, full, middle-class me me me lifestyle."

Not your intention, no?

The rest is just childish - don't make public anything you value.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Tue 18-Feb-14 21:53:21

Will wendied is when someone is your friend but then for no reason starts cutting you out and turning people against you.

This is all very strange, from the emailing of the 'list' to the posting of said 'list'.

ThinkIMmad Tue 18-Feb-14 21:54:09

I think fb brings out the childish and petty side to us all. Some days i actually hate going on, i know others who feel the same so why do we do it to ourselves everyday? Ive tried deactivating and missed it so lots of friends who are hidden atm

ForgettableTampon Tue 18-Feb-14 21:55:46


I'm with gobbin

cringing for you, OP

''break up all activities I am doing in different days and times with the addresses and meeting points and price if it isn't free.''


Sleepyhead33 Tue 18-Feb-14 21:56:07

A were her friends going to meet up with you? Or her? But she wasn't there anyway but you were with her child who her friends presumably know?
So if they turned up at any of the places specified on the copied email and she wasn't there they would have met you?
That does sound like a strange thing to do.

Norfolknway Tue 18-Feb-14 21:58:46

I don't get any if it...seriously, I don't get it confused

All crackerjacks grin

littleblackno Tue 18-Feb-14 21:58:54

What's 'wendied'?
Why would you bully a friend into showing you a private message then get upset at what you read?
Sorry but it all sounds a bit odd. Maybe S wanted some peace from her child, knew you had loads of cool and exciting stuff planned but didn't fancy listening to you going on about your cool and exciting plans.

NobodyIsHere Tue 18-Feb-14 21:58:55

My close friends (they are only 3) knows that I like to do exciting/different activities when there is no school (we are in London so plenty of opportunities) and I always organise myself well and generally stick to my program. So they used to keep calling or txt me during the holidays to ask what I was doing or when we could meet and it was tiresome telling them all the details all the time ad they would usually miss out on stuff and "complain" I didn't invite them ot let them know.
So one day we were all together and one of them had the idea of me sending an email to them with my plans. I research, schedule and organise for myself, they can't be bothered, so for them it is great, so they ca come along if they feel like.
I don't mind sharing my plans with them at all but I think S acted cheeky.

Being wendied means that a wendy (crazy queen bee type of woman) didn't get on well with you for whatever reason and than proceed to ruin your reputation in the local area, poisoning your friends or acquaintances and general people against you and talking behind your back, the purpose is to isolate and exclude you. It comes from a thread ages ago when a MNetters was describing this kind of situation and called the lady wendy and a lot of posters shared the way they have being wendied at some point.

Optimist1 Tue 18-Feb-14 22:00:07

Contrary to other posters above, I'd like to receive an email like yours, Nobody. Not everyone has the time or imagination to think up things to do during half term, and if I was your friend I'm sure I'd be joining you for at least one activity.

S's posting it on FB is frankly bizarre, though, especially as she's not actually planning to do all the stuff. I understand your irritation with her, especially as the Wendy is part of her FB group.

Don't have any suggestions, but YANBU. smile

OverAndAbove Tue 18-Feb-14 22:00:28

Hmm. It's not cool, in my opinion. If I received such an email, I would assume that friend was telling me she cba to arrange to see me, but was getting me an opportunity to tack on to her plans. It's not compelling, tbh.

Or maybe it is cool, and I am not cool enough to appreciate it!

WorraLiberty Tue 18-Feb-14 22:03:29

But your email makes you look like a total queen bee who never wants to actually plan something with your friend's input.

NobodyIsHere Tue 18-Feb-14 22:03:45

BTW forgot to mention I am a CM and look after a child + my own so for me it is important that I do interesting activities and stick to my own schedule instead of just hanging at home waiting for someone to turn up or invite me for a playdate.

OverAndAbove Tue 18-Feb-14 22:03:51

Ok, that cross-posted. Your friends like it, so fair enough!

TenThousandSpoons Tue 18-Feb-14 22:04:57

Ok if 3 friends have asked you to email your itinerary then fair enough.
So one of the 3 besties then posted to a much bigger Facebook group including Wendy? Did you maybe miss a post mentioning that this was a list of stuff you were doing because if she pretended it was her list then surely she needs to show up to it all, or risk pissing off her other friends who might turn up to meet her.

NobodyIsHere Tue 18-Feb-14 22:06:23

My friends usually email back telling if/what activities they might come to or offering a better sugestion if they have one, but usually I stick to my stuff as I follow my child and mindee and my own interests. They don't need to come if they don't want to.

I am glad I didn't post on IABU!

"Yet she is posing as this cool, outgoing, active and organised mum who sorted out amazing stuff for her kid and friends during the school break, totally stealing my ideas."

Seriously OP re-read that bit. It's HILARIOUS.

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