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Nooo! Office poo

(38 Posts)
Beeyump Tue 21-Jan-14 13:39:33

I hate pooing at work, but end up doing it with alarming frequency - probably because I'm trying not to, iyswim. The toilets are usually mercifully quiet but today someone came in as I was...finishing. They went in straight after me and they will KNOW! I am the office pooer! I mean, I don't leave a mess or anything but still. I feel that it has lowered me in the woman's eyes blush (Yes I'm being I?)

liquidstate Tue 21-Jan-14 15:26:08

I would love a secret toilet. You could make a whole childrens series out of it. A bit like Mr Benn grin

I work outside sometimes usually in the middle of nowhere and therefore have to have a pack of tissues handy. Yes have pooed in the bushes before... Am more worried about having my period though.

PrivateBenjamin Tue 21-Jan-14 15:13:32

I have found a secret toilet at work on an abandoned floor of the building. If I need to poo I go there so I can relax and not worry that a colleague is going to come in and smell my poo.

My life has improved immeasurably since I found the secret toilet.

Beeyump Tue 21-Jan-14 15:03:02

Hahaha! These are making me feel better... 'straightened wire coat hanger'...'15 minutes' grin

I hate pooing anywhere except home, obviously i have to when staying somewhere else. However i only ever poo once a day when i get up , so when working its not something i ever have to worry about.

curiousgeorgie Tue 21-Jan-14 14:56:24

I used to work in tv and we all wore talkback headsets with the buttons to control it on your hip.

There was a new guy and he didn't quite get how it all worked yet and unfortunately left himself 'open' and for all to hear while he was in the toilet... For about 15 minutes blush

Literally, everyone. He was on channel one. I think he left after that!

ToysRLuv Tue 21-Jan-14 14:49:45

I once did a gigantic poo in the office toilet and it got blocked blush. I panicked and wrote a note on the door: "out of order" (luckily there were other toilets, but a bit further away from where my desk was). A work friend enquired about it, and I had to tell her. She near enough ROFL hmm. Then a cleaner came along and cheerfully unblocked it with a straightened wire coat hanger. blush blush blush

LittleIllusionMachine Tue 21-Jan-14 14:47:50

Everyone looks perfectly sane and presentable, I cannot imagine who is doing it! Seems like it isn't that uncommon though shock

Beeyump Tue 21-Jan-14 14:45:21

I don't think that's a phantom shock

LittleIllusionMachine Tue 21-Jan-14 14:43:19

We have a phantom office pooer. They poo on the floor and spread it everywhere, walls etc. No idea who it is, I work for a high end investment bank ffs! grin

I reckon as long as you are doing it in the toilet, you're fine smile

Gladvent Tue 21-Jan-14 14:42:26

My office has proper floor to ceiling toilet door, we all poo on company time ;)

I'd be reluctant to poo in cubicles though.

Beeyump Tue 21-Jan-14 14:39:51

skidded on it in his shoes shock

JupiterGentlefly Tue 21-Jan-14 14:39:09

I wonder if it was the same woman hotel!

Beeyump Tue 21-Jan-14 14:38:10

Who pooed on the office floor?! Gracious.
Hotel, that sounds like a nightmare.

I like the notion that the woman will be jealous of me grin Seriously though, I seem to poo most when I'm at work and I hate it. I think it's stress or something.

JupiterGentlefly Tue 21-Jan-14 14:37:44

Cardiff city hall..many moons ago.. had my own personal private toilet in the basement for this purpose.. twas nice and warm there too. In my next office job there was a single toilet on the first floor which had a door that was floor to ceiling. I do like a bit of privacy. The trouble was that if the secretary whose office was next door caught you in there she would start yelling at you to use your own toilet as we had 4 to choose from on the ground floor. She used to wait outside when it was obvious you were not just having a tinkle. Id be there for 10 minutes sometimes hoping she would go elsewhere but alas she must have had a bladder of steel!

I would skulk out to be met with a 'wasp chew' stare! I guess she got fed up with everyone having a sneaky crap in her most convenient toilet. Therefore I envy anyone who can poop with gleeful abandon!

janey1234 Tue 21-Jan-14 14:35:41

Yes Iseeyoushiver.

On the floor.

I have no idea why.

The worst thing was we had a new starter at work who had just joined us from a competitor (I work for a quality newspaper and before that he had worked at a tabloid). He was the one to find it, and skidded on it in his shoes. confused

He said he thought he'd gone upmarket coming to work at our company but clearly not!

HotelTangoFoxtrotUniform Tue 21-Jan-14 14:30:24

I was shouted at by a horrible woman for having a work poo in one of my first jobs (I was early 20s at the time). She banged on the door and told me that I shouldn't do that in the office. I didn't poo at work, or anywhere other than home, for a long time after that. Silly cow.

Now I'm with the office pooers - if you need to go it's much better to just go than hold it in and be uncomfortable. And everyone poos!

NellysKnickers Tue 21-Jan-14 14:17:39

Oh I love a nice poo in peace at work, I work two days a week and sometimes manage two each day. I air freshen and leave a spotless loo.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Tue 21-Jan-14 14:14:47

On the FLOOR?

someone in your office crapped on the floor?

Why would anyone do that?

Oldraver Tue 21-Jan-14 14:13:19

We have two cubicles, neither of which fill up very well so if you choose the wrong one it wont flush.....very interesting at times

Doubtfuldaphne Tue 21-Jan-14 14:11:26

It wouldn't bother me going in after someone else as we all do it don't we? Maybe she was relieved you'd just finished as she might need a good poo and didn't want any one else waiting for her to get out!
I am the same though - I get really really scared and actually don't even eat while at work in an attempt to not need to poo. Luckily I only work part time on a casual basis otherwise I'd be starving!

At least if you do it at work you're getting paid to poo.

MrsBodger Tue 21-Jan-14 14:04:57

An ex-colleague of mine couldn't go to the loo at work at all. She used to take a 5 minute walk to the department store down the road.

tombakerscarf Tue 21-Jan-14 14:03:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LexieSinclair Tue 21-Jan-14 14:02:25

I won't poo at work - on the rare occasions I need to
I hold it in until I get home. I'm always a bit jealous of carefree work pooers. So look at it that way - your colleague might be jealous of you!

Kerosene Tue 21-Jan-14 14:00:54

TBH, now she knows you're y'know, a functioning human, rather than some sort of perfectly smooth android... well.... I suspect she didn't notice or care.

Count yourself lucky - our office plumbing was knocked out by the recent flooding and they've brought in a portacabin arrangement (poo-ter cabin?) People insist on leaving the door wide open so that the stalls are visible from the car park. It is quite remarkably hideous.

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