Mumsnet Talk

eg
Do you remember when we did X?
no
You don't remember?
No
We did X, it was august.
I don't remember
we did X, it was august, we used my car
I have NO memory of doing X, sorry
We did X, it was august, we used my car, afterwards we went to Y
I don't remember
You don't remember? We did X, it was august, we used my car, afterwards we went to Y and I was wearing a blue jumper/

I DON'T BLOODY REMEMBER! WHY DO YOU THINK THAT ASKING ME 20 TIMES IS GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! I HAVE NO CLUE. I. DO. NOT. REMEMBER. X.

I am in the doghouse because I got pissed off by his inability to comprehend the words "I don't remember".

I feel your pain!

"Where are the scissors?"
"I don't know".
"Where were they the last time you saw them?"
"I don't know"
"Were they in the kitchen?"
"<gibber>"

My Mum does that to me. About family holidays in 1975 or something. No Mum I don't remember that.

Also slightly different but she also says 'this time last year we were at x' or 'this time ten years ago we did y'.
Sometimes we even have 'this time last week'.

My mother does this.
"Do you remember Gary in your class?"
"No don't think so" (I'm 46, school was a long time ago)
"He had a brother"

(In what way does that help my memory?)

"What about Gary?"

"Oh, he died, car accident"

"OK. But I Don't know Gary "

oh gawd, I HATE that.

As far as I am concerned, "I don't know" is the end of the conversation!

I am afraid such conversations inevitably end up with me yelling WHY AM I EXPECTED TO KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A VAGINA

<breathes into paper bag>
[girn]

x post 70s. My mum does that too.

remember X from school?
no.
they asked after you
i have no idea who that is.

YADNBU

I have a friend who does this frequently, on any subject you care to mention.

Him : Has X gone away for the weekend?
Me : Sorry, I don't know
Him : So when did she go?
Me : I don't know, I didn't know she was going away
Him : So when's she going to be back?
Me : I DON'T KNOW - I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT
<sobs>

My Mum does this only with people that she insists that I know.

"You know Bob?"
"No"
"Bob! You know Bob!"
"I've never met him. I don't know Bob"
"Yes you do. Bob!"
(she then proceeds to tell me a long boring story about Bob)
"Oh, well...I still don't know Bob."
etc etc

YANBU!

YY or 'do you remember Terry and June that lived opposite us? Well their daughter has had a baby'. I don't remember Terry and June or their daughter so have to look interested.

I do that

My friends say I add five facts too many when trying to describe a person or a situation.

But I am trying to get better.

DH always expects me to remember each of his colleagues and what the job is, despite my never having met them. He says stuff like 'Craig has spoken to Dan now' and looks at me awaiting my reaction.

DH "where is X and don't just say you haven't seen it."

Me "I haven't fucking seen it, that's why I say I don't know, because I don't fucking don't know!"

Not do I care, you have too many cables, tools etc.

and don't just say you haven't seen it?

I would blow a fuse at that!

why do you expect ME to know where something is when YOU don't know where it is?

Oh yes. Yaddnbu at all! Drives me bonkers when DH does that too. He thinks he's being 'helpful'

DH-'Do you know where X is'?
ME- 'No'

THE END

YABU - you weren't just "asked 10 times", you were given extra info that might help to jog your memory.

Slightly different but dh always asks me for information that I have ALREADY EXPLAINED isn't available, usually regarding texts from other people. Eg

Me: mum's texted and offered to have ds on Saturday.
Dh: what time?
Me: I don't know that's all she's said
Dh: is she having him for tea
Me: I don't know that's all she's said
Dh: isn't she doing x on Saturday
Me: I don't know that's all she's said
Dh: what time do we need to get him on Sunday
Me: aaaargh.

Yy to dh's expecting us to know where everything is. dh gets actuallly offended if I don't know where something is

Rumbelina - I do that, oh dear god. Must stop. My MIL is reeeeeeeeeeeeeally bad for the whole story-about-a-guy-you-don't-know thing.

MIL: So I saw June this week, you know, who was in the year above you DH
DH: Er, no I don't, sorry
MIL: So anyway June said... <long story develops>
Me (eventually, and only ever said this once, and 'didn't mean to be so rude' MN-style but it just fell out of my mouth): I don't even know who June is, does anyone else know?
DH: No
FIL: No
MIL: <mildly perturbed, but picks up story where it left off and continues>
Me: <feeling too guilty to do anything but make Oh-What-An-Interesting-Story face>
DH & FIL: <snoring>

that was to sparkling

trills. nope. I reject your 'yabu' I was asked the same thing over and over and over. If I don't remember the event, being told some minor silly little thing that could possibly be linked to it ain't going to help!

to give you an example. He asked me if I remembered the time he told me how he was driving past a bus stop and a bloke threw himself in front of the car!

Now, I don't know HOW I don't remember that, but I don't.

So him telling me that he was on his way to the office. That his sister was in the car and that it was the bus stop next to the police station is not going to help.

OH, the police station, well yes, of course I remember when that bloke threw himself in front of the car!

And yes. That example is an actual one.

It depends on the order of the details.

Do you remember <not particularly memorable thing>?
Nope
It was when <ore specific memorable thing> happened.
Yep, that specific memorable thing has helped me to remember the rest of the day.

Do you remember <specific memorable thing>?
Nope
Here are some inconsequential unmemorable additions
That doesn't help.

See the difference?

My DH expects me to know where stuff is cos at present I am a giant stay-at-home pregnant lady who waddles around tidying all day, giving items new homes and arranging things into absolutely perpendicular columns of neatness

DH: Oh purr, where's <insert random clothing item>?
Me: It's in the first cupboard in our bedroom on the second shelf, behind the <other random clothing item>
DH: Wow, thanks <trots off and finds said thing>

It wasn't always like this. In fact I never ever used to know where things were when I worked 12 hour days. It was annoying at first and distressing by the end, all of my Things seemed to have left me. I wonder if that explains my current fondness for neatness and order... <goes off to tidy more already-tidy things>

I do. And if he ever did it the first way round, I suspect it wouldn't drive me bonkers.

My mum does this ALL the time.

DM: I met so and so at the church last week, you were in the same year as her DD Jane.

Me: Didn't know a Jane

DM: Well Jane just got married/got divorced/had a baby/died...long story follows

Me: Trying to assume an interested face while mentally thinking of ways to make her stop talking.