Mumsnet Talk

Oh well. Poor dd has just found out! Remind me how lovely and kind they can also be to each other please?

your poor dd of course they can be lovely to each other but tbh I think if they are hurting each other they need to find better friends, dd2 goes around with mostly boys and it is much easier, I hope your dd is ok she will be tell her tor ise above it they are not worth the hurt, it gives them power

Never was my frequent use of the word cunt more applicable when I was a teenage girl.

Blimey sasha !
mrsjay thank you - won't go into detail as other parents might be on here! she was in floods last night; they were all out and going on about how they couldn't wait for me to pick her up early, and when was she going etc etc. Poor thing couldn't ring as her phone had been left at home.

Thats a shame I hope she is ok today please tell her that these girls are not worth her time DD1 had an awful time at 13/14 takes a lot out of them emotionally and socially Iyswim. dd2 is as hard as nails and gets stuck in if any of them start on her

they are starting to phase her out sadly it is bloody horrible

yes, i think that's it - she has been really fine until secondary school. all girls at the school. good for your dd2. dd is so pretty and funny - for some of them that's greta and for others it seems almost to annoy them.

you know sometimes it really is nothing that starts it does she have any other friends at school maybe be 'busy' at the weekends for a wee while so she cant mix with them iyswim

That's horrible notactuallyme had they fallen out while she was there? Or is that how they usually treat her?
I wouldn't be a teenager again if you paid me!

what goes around does come around - but it won't until these girls start live-in relationships when they will get the partners they deserve, if they don't change.

meantime your daughter needs to cut them all out. Why waste time with people like this?

There are endless threads about this. They are vile, all hormones and insecurities.

I too wouldn't be a teenager again for love nor money.

Being a teenage girl was the hardest time of my life. I found a great friend at 13 but he was a he and not a she! We are still best friends 20 years on. There are lovely people out there and vile ones. I hope your dd is ok and finds a good friendship soon.

No, nothing started it; she's not as keen on what they were doing, probably escalated from disagreeing. I might avoid the other threads tbh! Too depressing. I had forgotten it all - I'm nearly forty and its just different now.
I do tell her real life won't be like this, I just hope she gets through it all okay.
No other friends, but might look at a different club, thanks for the suggestion.

Thats lovely skull funnily enough my eldest dd is 20 and the only friend she has from school left is a guy , she still talks to the girls on facebook but she meets up with him at least twice a month.

I start threads on this regularly and mrs jay is one of the ones who always comes and pats me on the head...dd1 is 13 and it's bloody horrendous, having gone through it myself it's even worse watching it happen to her. I wanted boys for this reason <sigh>

You couldn't pay me to deal with high school/teenage years again mine were bloody awful your poor DD will be fine as long as you keep instilling confidence in her sadly my mother didn't.

I hate to think what my DD will have to put up with in the next 5 years +(she is 8 now)

It's so horrible that you have to stand back and watch it happen . Dd2 is having problems with her friends at the moment, lots of bitching and nastiness. I'm under no illusions that she's totally innocent but with a bit of guidance she might come out the other side ok.

dd1 hangs around with boys and it's been so much easier.

I am so glad that I do not have to experience those years for myself ever again.

DD1 turned 18 the other day and so is now mainly through it. She has a solid groupd of friends, a BF of over a year and has left the local college due to too much bitchiness. She is doing an Access course now, to get her A level equivalent, more adult environment, with only one other teen who she encouraged to join.

How old is your teen OP? Basically, I am asking how many more years of this she has to endure?

Urgh I wouldn't be a teenager again! Awful time with narrow minded mean spirited witches who all got pregnant at 16 or never left our home town and ages horribly

Try and expose her to real life, can she do a couple if days work experience over Easter to see that most teenage girls grow into helpful, caring and friendly adults? We often have daughters, nieces etc in the office in school hols, usually after a rough term at school where the parent wanted to re-enthuse them.

I remember speaking off the record to a teacher and she says this girl thing disrupts class time learning, and ruins some girls for a while it sometimes stops when they reach 15/16 she is a pupil support and deals with it all the time.

Thank you, I really appreciate the positive comments about getting through it. mammatj she is 14, rhonda - yes, mrsjay has cheered me immensely! orchid I will try when she has to - a friend works in a field she is interested in. face and stjupes standing back is soooo hard, when you have stepped in so many times when they were little! I do keep telling her she's great and to ignore it, and she is quite scathing of my worries about her longterm (I'm not going to kill myself, I'm just miserable being quite a reassuring recent statement)

Yes, DD regularly comes home with tales of bitchiness - they are all 13/14 which seems to be the peak time for it.

Maybe if she could join a club or do something she is really interested in, then she will meet others who are interested in the same stuff and are not the ones she sees at school everyday - familiarity breeds contempt and all that!

You are right - sadly she told a cple in a good period what she did out of school, and they joined! Also decided to tell everyone there she was bi (she isn't, but not the point).

You know there was a girl who treated me like that when I was 13. It was 40 years ago and I still hate her for it. My mother never knew though.

Poor you squirrels there was a girl at uni who loathed me, everyone knew except me, and she moved out of halls to get away from me. Wed only exchanged a few words and I was a very silent non intrusive type. Still scarred by that.