Mumsnet Talk

If you have arranged to meet at a coffee shop do you meet inside or outside? And if you meet inside and I get there first do I buy a coffee or wait until he gets there?

I met him online so although I have seen a few pictures I'm not 100% sure what he looks like. I don't date much, you might be able to tell

Go in and get yourself a coffee, take something to keep yourself occupied in case you have a 10 min wait, eg magazine, paper. Good luck!

Assume you have his phone number? I would text him saying I'm wearing a red coat (or whatever, don't text him that if you're wearing a black coat!) and he will likely respond with similar, therefore putting your mind at rest that you will recognise each other

I think I'd wait outside.

Just incase you go in, order your drink and he's standing out in the rain looking all anxious with no idea where you are.

Are you excited? What are you going to wear?

I am excited, bit mostly anxious its meant to rain here all day so I was thinking jeans, knee high flat boots, some kind of top and a cardigan. And a waterproof jacket!

The other spanner in the works is that it is a tiny coffee shop that will undoubtedly be mobbed on a Saturday afternoon. What of there isn't a seat!?

Texting is a good idea. I think I'll go early because then he has to find me not the other was round.

There was a thread here recently where they'd missed each other (or did they nearly miss each other? I can't remember) as one was inside, the other waiting outside.

I agree texting once you're there with a text saying where you're sitting is the best thing.

I would text him saying I'm wearing a red coat (or whatever, don't text him that if you're wearing a black coat!) made me

good luck OP! even if it is full and you have to look for another place, it might be an ice breaker. Come back and tell us how it went!

This is the problem with just agreeing to meet at a place! Its too vague

Argh I don't want to go!!

Aw come on, it will be fine, chances are you will be there, he will walk in, you will recognise each other by the searching, nervous eyes, and off you go! Try not to worry, go with the flow, and yep, come back and tell us how well it went

Ooh how exciting. Meeting a man in a coffee shop on a rainy Saturday afternoon. We need a full report on your return

I say go in, get a coffee and good luck!!

You do, you do want to go! Even if you don't. Because the more you do of these things the better it gets. Totally true with me (neurotic, ASD, incurably geeky!) and small talk and meeting new people.

I think I'll go early because then he has to find me not the other was round. ha this is me, always, if I'm meeting someone I know, turn up twenty minutes early- I WILL trip over thin air and make a fool of myself whatever I do, so at least minimising the chances of that is probably a wise move.....

or rather not minimising the chances just the overall effect
brain not working today!

I just hope he's not a weirdo the other few internet dates I've been on have been tortuous.

The man who let wild mice sleep in his bed was a particular highlight.

Yep, go in and get yourself a coffee, sit down and take a few deep breaths and relax. If you can get a chair facing the door then even better as you'll see him when he comes in and how nervous he looks!.

Good luck and have lots of fun!

I've been in your shoes OP - at times some dates were excruciating, especially as I'm not the type that can say "this isn't working" - am far too polite but on the plus side I kept my friends entertained for months with my tales of 'Internet dating'. Methinks they were disappointed when I finally met the right man and stopped dating!!

That's the problem with me too, I can never just say "this isn't working" and go home. I always end up stuck there for ages.

Thankfully I have something I need to do at 3 so a couple of hours is the most I can possibly stay

The man who let wild mice sleep in his bed was a particular highlight.



Was that Enid Blyton's Philip from the Adventure books all grown up

Hope it's all going well OP

Having an appointment is a good idea.

Hope you found a seat and found each other

How did it go????

Exciting times!!

Ah budding love. I hate it.

some kind of top

Good idea that, much better than no kind of top!!

Hope it went well.

Like "jeans and a nice top" - much better than jeans and a shit top

Yes, stripping on the first date might be a bad idea

I got there quite early and got a coffee, it was pretty quiet so I got a good seat with a view of the door. He text to say he was running a bit late so I told him where I was sitting.

I was so nervous but it was really good, he was funny and interesting, the time flew by and he had text me before I even got home