Mumsnet Talk

I bet this has been done to death.

I've been getting zero sleep lately (insomnia you are pants) so a friend told me pile cream is amazing for eye bags (will report back tomorrow if I have been scammed)

So I trot into our local store....
head to checkout......
put items on belt......
get paranoid at realisation it looks weird....
wish I could have done a self checkout jobby instead.

Basket items

Preparation H
Marigold gloves (I'm delicate)
small grater (the stuff for garlic)
4 pack of strawberry Cornettos (DC have friends over for tea)
small bottle of wine (for post tea reward for me)

Checkout lady did not make eye contact, ask if I had a car park ticket, or ask me if it was raining outside. I'll wager she thought I was some weird DIY arse doc....

Oh I have done another shopping thread.

Shoot me now.

I am dullard.

Only one I can think of was as a student - two huge bottles of Lambrini and a pregnancy test (for my friend). Looked very classy!

Not me but dp

Women's slippers
Sanitary pads
Condoms
Ben and Jerry's

He has no shame and was very amused at the look he got

Belmo- oh yes..I'm sure they'd not flinch at that...must see it most Friday nights...
Ahhh, I was hoping someone would just alleviate my slight shame and make a list up
wishful eh?

I once bought a bottle of vodka (gift for my sister), some coat hangers and a pregnancy test (for me). God only knows what the checkout lady was thinking, I didnt even consider how it must of looked I was too deep in my POAS anxiety!

ERm.....summerain- that is so a list my dh would do (voluntarily) if the stuff was 70% off!

Chopsy- were they whore cat hangers?

Spray cream
Marigolds
Condoms
Anusol
Toothbrush

MrsAceRimmer
I pray..please tell me it was a Tuesday night? and that was a real list

I once served a lady who purchased

Vodka
Condoms
Pile cream
A large cucumber.

I did stifle a smile.

Jeez...a bum cream cult and I am part of it!!!!!

That's why he was getting the slippers... They were reduced so he decided to treat me!

He's also gone emergency clothes shopping for me when ds2 was admitted to scbu. He wasn't sure what size to get so he cornered a sales girl who looked about my size and asked her what size she was

I did a pregnancy test but the result was really faint so I sent DH to the supermarket to buy a digital one.

We also needed loo rolls so on the belt was:

one digital pregnancy test
pack of 16 toilet rolls

It's always made me laugh to think that the checkout operator was probably thinking DH was literally shitting himself at the result!

i once served an older couple who bought,

Lube
Condoms
Anusol
and Bananas

they were honestly not a day under 70. i had to laugh because they had come to the furthest away till possible.

DH an I used condoms as contraception for several years so we used to stock up when we found our preferred brand. One evening we popped to the supermarket and ended up with:

Pizza
Bottle of wine
24 condoms

We looked at our shopping at the checkout and got a bad case of the giggles

Megglevache that is a real shopping! I work in a well known supermarket on the tills. I was training a new start at the time and we were trying so hard not to wet ourselves laughing! I will have a think for some others.
Elderly couple:
Cherry flavoured lube
Honey
Bananas
Hair clippers
Nit comb

That was a couple of nights ago

My Dad once popped to the supermarket before going to the pub. He bought:
Rubber gloves
Sellotape
A washing line
A jar of mayonnaise
He did get the piss taken in the pub.
I once saw a man buying a giant pack of nappies and a case of Stella.

Our office manager came back from Asda yesterday with a bag containing 6 packets of budget disposable razors and a paperback. She's not particularly hairy but we do work in a GPs surgery!!! Apparently the cashier didn't bat an eyelid.

3 pot noodles
a bottle of wine
multivitiamins

In my defence I was living in hospital accomodation at the time and although I had access to a kitchen I had no pots/pans/plates and the pot noodles were on special offer!

Best I ever saw was a bloke in the queue in front of me once though - he must have been about 70

Cat food
Tesco value gin
a 6 pack of girls knickers age 5-6

A long time ago I worked in the reproductive health field and was involved in the branding and marketing of condoms.

hence going out one afternoon to buy samples of every condom on the market in order to assess packaging etc.

So my basket had about a zillion packs of condoms of all types, and a bottle of champagne as DH was picking me up for our anniversary straight after work.

I deffo got a look.

(Although that paled into insignificance when DH rang once and asked me what I was doing and the answer was 'sampling flavoured condoms'. The whole office was sitting around sucking them to see what flavour we thought was the nicest for our pilot brand. (The answer was orange-flavoured). )

WeeROAR at Filthy Pot Noodles and multivits!

Martyrstewart wins

So essentially any basket's worth is greatly perved ten fold if it has condoms/bananas or pile cream in it

Oye...Hugo...I'll give out the rosettes