Mumsnet Talk

SO.. reasonably long saga..
but family friend has a son who is in prison.
he was in a relationship with a woman with children.
one of the teenage daughters had a crush on him.
the teenage daughter got into bed with him when her mum was away
PIV other stuff also.

Mum finds out.
Police involved
man in prison... rape of a minor.

(that is as cut down and as impartial as I can make it)

Mum has always felt that it was the girls fault.
The man did nothing her writhing on top of him naked caused his penis to enter her.

He was convicted. His defence was very little, more that yes he did it he regrets it, it was a stupid thing and he deserves to go to prison.

However, now he is in prison, she is applying to see him in prison and the police are looking at things in a different light.. maybe it wasn't rape.. maybe it was sex with a minor.

potential grounds for appeal.

Mum is delighted.

she was only just 14. I can't see how it isn't rape.. if she isn't old enough to consent and sex without consent is rape.
He is a man in his 30's how can it not be rape??

Legally if he's over 21 and she's under 16 its rape.

A child cannot consent to sex with an adult. sHe is 14yo. It's rape.

Not convinced by his description of events. Is it even possible for that to happen?

Under the new sexual offences act it is not automatically rape unless the victim is 13 or under I believe, this may be why there are grounds for appeal.

SO I had heated discussion with my mum today because she is delighted that the truth is finally coming out that he is not a rapist.

I can not see from any angle how he has not raped her.
She admits the crush
she admits getting into bed with him naked.
as far as I understood it she could have been screaming "fuck me" and if he went with it it is rape as she is not old enough to consent??

Bangers so are they going to change the age of consent to 13 then??

it's rape

i believe her

esther.. the thing is she didn't think it was rape.
her mum, sister and the police knew it was but she was inlove.

I seriously doubt her writhing 'caused his penis to enter her'. As an adult he should have got out of bed and gone somewhere else. Not too difficult i would think. They might appeal but it will take some time. If it is not rape but sex with a minor you may be talking a reduced sentence but still prison.

When did this happen?
The sexual offences act 2003 says that children under the age of 13 cannot consent to sex. So that is automatically rape / sexual assault.
Between 13 and 16 the guidance is that for consensual sex prosecutions should only be brought where there is evidence of coercion / vulnerable party is involved / large age difference and thus power imbalance etc.
Is this more than 10 years ago? I must admit I am not familiar with the law prior to the current act.

The offence is 'sexual activity with a child' (section 9) if the child is over 13 but under 16. It's 'rape of a child under 13' (section 5) if the child is under 13.

See sections 5 and 9 here There's nothing about consent in the section 9 offence. I always thought someone under 16 cannot consent but it seems the law makes a distinction between teenagers under the age of consent and children, the implication being those aged 13-16 can consent but under 13s cannot.

I guess they are arguing about whether she consented, so whether it was rape or sexual activity with a child.

His story sounds pretty dubious to me.

when that young woman is sitting one day, perhaps reading a forum such as this, she will have a moment and realise that 'man' used her young love and used it against her

i will believe her then

i have no middle ground, no grey area, not a jot of 'but'

it was rape

tis not more than 10 years ago..
I think him being "step dad" and in his 30's and her being 14 may have caused it to go as rape of a minor?
although to be honest, each time mum has talked to me about it I have asked for the conversation to stop as she keeps on telling me how evil this little bitch is for doing this to her friends family.

Esther I totally agree with you.. for me it is so clear.
If a naked teenage girl got into bed with my DH and he did anything OTHER than get straight out of the otherside of the bed I would be livid and it would proabbly end our marriage.

Which 'mum' are you referring to? The mum of the 14yo or the mum of the man?

A kiss, the conversations go on with MY mum who is a friend of the family.

the guy is a rapist, the court has found him guilty

i can't imagine how it feels to find out your DP is a rapist, your family member would be in denial and is clutching at straws.

Ok so your mum involved the police and now thinks the 14yo is to blame? I would think that it doesn't matter much what your mum thinks of it all TBH, as long as the 14yo has the support of her own mum and she won't be getting back with this man should he get out of prison.

sorry, friend of the family

for apols

i read that as the girl's mum too!

crikey, it's your mum who's talking about it

I think the mum of the girl involved the police but the mum of the bloke is happy it may not be rape

thanks ladies... has made it clearer for me.
I am not going mad.

so just to get this right. my mum is friends with the rapists mum.
it is the mum of the girl who involved the police and yes they have moved to adifferent area and will not be having any contact with him or his family in the future.

So there was sex between a 14yo girl and her step-father and he went to prison for rape.

Sounds to me like he raped her.

I would try and avoid conversations with your mum about it. Of course the mum of the man in prison will believe him innocent, and of course her friends will side with her. Still your mum's outspken-ness and language must be very upsetting.

It is incredibly hard to get convictions for rape, it is not "automatically" rape if the child is 13 or over, so for him to go to prison for rape then, frankly, he raped her. I am sorry this must be so hard for you to listen to.

What your mum comes out with must be hard to listen to I mean. Sorry that wasn't clear in my post.