Mumsnet Talk

That's all. don't even know why I'm bothering to post this no one in RL gives a shit i@m just expected to step up and carry on and keep on keeping on and it's hard so hard

kids will be up in an hour and I'll have to put the happy face on and get them out to school. All I want to do is go to bed and sleep and I can't.

I shall change back to my normal name and just get on I suppose. Damn I hate my life.

What's up?

I posted on an AIBU thread that cut to the bone and now I feel shittier than I did before.

My life sucks.

what's up? And do you have to get up now, or can you rest a bit?

I've had a day like that today (I'm in Australia). I'm just so over everything and I am totally taken for granted.

Try to spend some time with other people today so you are not dwelling on it all.

You are making me cry even more. Thank you.

I have to get up, I have to work I need the money. But I am so fed up and I'm being such a shit friend to my friends because I just never remember to ring them or can't make time to see them properly. I am fed up and cheesed off and fucked off.

Need to give myself a shake and snap out of this.

Are you having a bad day or do you feel like this a lot? None of us are perfect, it's impossible to juggle everything sometimes.

Just a bad day I hope normally I cope I'm a coper I just keep on. Stupid thread about stupid party invites has really got to me. I'm a shitty friend I don't make enough time for my firends. I cancel arrangements becuase I'm busy or because I just can't face it sometimes. And sometimes I forget stuff the kids should be doing like responding to a party invite or ringing someone back to confirm a playdate.

It's just so relentless isn't it, life. On and on. Can you do something nice fur yourself? Phone an old friend, buy some daffodils and put them next to your bed, go to the park and sit on a bench in your lunch hour.

Im In in a 35 degree gymnastics 'hut' with a tin roof. For 2 hours. Then I have to carry those massive Australian school bags home in the 30 degrees. I've already had a shit day!

oh to have 35 degrees.

I have a really important meeting this morning about even more business. I have to get suited and booted and make up on and go and convince them I can do a good job. I never intended for this to take of like it has and this is scary. On top of everything else.

No, it's horrible. 27 is nice. 35 is uncomfortable. And sweaty!

Don't worry about party invites and all that jazz.

poor you

Coffee, shower, face on and keep on keeping on. And the world can just fuck off for half an hour.

I always feel bad at those sorts of threads - party invites, thank yous etc - people are always ready to attack others as being thoughtless or selfish and I always think, what if they're just on the same treadmill as everyone else? I feel like 100% of my energy goes on work + ds so I have 0% for anything else. I do what I can but people get pissed off at you for not doing random stuff you're expected to, like you're lazy, and yet, here I am awake at 6.30 like every day....

coffee firstly here's an un-mumsnetty hug
Secondly, despite what the media keeps telling us you're not superwoman - no-one can do it all. You're not a bad friend, I'm sure. We all forget stuff and real friends won't judge you for not picking up the phone.
You sound so similar to me when I get overwhelmed and I jut try to write a list and cross just one thing off. Don't try to do it all at once, no-one can.
Be kind to yourself too, as a PP said, buy yourself some flowers or something to make you smile
Take care and good luck at work

Brian - that's what I'm like, by the time I do kids and work and family there's just not enough room in my head to remember everything else. I'm human I forget. I shouldn't have posted on the thread in the first place. I've been up since 5 working I didn't go to bed until after midnight because I was working. I'm tired, which is the biggest problem I think. But I have no choice I have to just get on with it.

Thank you all so much.

Haven't seen the thread but I can imagine. Those that don't reply do it just to annoy you!

Op I know how you feel, I feel the same at the moment.

LovesBeingWoken - you got it in one. But I didn't mean this to be a thread about a thread, it's just made me realise that other people will look at me and think I am a crap person.

Ring every person you consider a friend, everyone you have forgotten to contact re: an invitation etc.

Tell them first how sorry you are for your vagueness, for neglecting the very people who you care about most, explain you are finding things very hard at the moment and stuff is slipping your mind. Make it clear you accept all responsibility for not being a great friend recently, and make the apology genuine, not an 'I'm sorry but...' one.

Then tell them you are worried you are sinking a bit, and not coping very well right now. Let them comfort you, reassure you, reignite stuff. No-one's perfect- most of us are far from it - many will recognise what you are going through - and you are obviously self aware enough to know what's been happening. FWIW, you don't sound like a crap person at all, you sound very emotionally intelligent.

Don't let things drift any more, you can do it.

Hesterton- I do keep in touch with my really close friends but they know what's going on in my life. but I'm hardly going to explain all the crap in my life to someone whose child is at school with mine. It would smack of over-sharing. And make me the subject of playground gossip and I dont want that I am really rather private.

I'm crap at advice but just wanted to give you a wee squeeze to let you know you're being listened to.

I'm off to get showered and dressed and I promise I coulld hug every single one of you thank you so much I'll be back later hopefully with another contract in my back pocket

I'm posting what is going on in my life from the other thread. Do you think it's ok that I forgetr stuff?

....................................

firstly, my child might leave an invite in her tray. Sorry about that. If I don't know about the party I can't respond. Secondly, the invite might fall on a time that she is at her dad's. I will always pass the invite to him and text him the details. If he doesn't reply, that's not my problem.

Now, my life. I have a lot of things going on and with all of these things going on sometimes party invitations aren't really at the top of my list in my head. I'm going to set them out here and you can decide if they meet some sort of standard where I might be allowed to have things slip my mind.

I have five children ranging in age from 23 to 11. I work for myself and I am a single parent. It's a very busy house with after school activities, music practice and the like. Probably doesn't meet your standard of being allowed to forget.

My eldest child has a benign tumour in his brain which won't just fuck off. He lives away from home in the city where he went to university and I worry that he's not attending to his care and medications properly. Does that meet the standard of being allowed to forget? Probably not.

My parents are very elderly. My father has bladder cancer and my mother has skin cancer and early stages of dementia, as well as other physical issues. I am their sole carer. Does that meet the standard of being allowed to forget? Probably not.

One of my middle children has a problem with her joints and attends the children's hospital. She is due to have yet another operation in a few weeks. Does that meet the standard of being allowed to forget? Probably not.

My brother is an alcoholic and regularly turns up at my door looking for money or shouting and swearing. Does that meet the standard of being allowed to forget? Probably not.

I have a degenerative condition which most likely will leave me in a wheelchair in a few years. As things stand, I need a knee replacement. I am in significant pain every day and have to take a cocktail of painkillers just to function. Does that meet the standard of being allowed to forget? Probably not.

I work for myself. I have (luckily) just won a big piece of business which has a tight deadline and I am struggling to keep my head above water with it. Does that meet the standard of being allowed to forget? Probably not.

Coffee Your post on that thread resonated with me. I spent a lot of yesterday feeling inadequate ... I do also know that I'm managing lots of tricky situations that no one knows about. I don't post it all on here because it would be too identifiable so I tend to name change and tackle individual topics if that makes sense.

I have given up on friendship as a 'hobby'. I just don't have time. I do however have 3 precious friends who I prioritise and vice versa. They also 'get' my life and don't make unreasonable expectations of me

I wonder when it will all end and what it's doing to my health

What I mean is I don't forget on purpose and it's not that I'm trying to be a crap friend or rude I jsuthave so much shit in my head that if i come homeintending to reply and shit happens then it just goes out of my brain.