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Don't you have a Hall Tutor? Do post-grad halls have that?

You will have to do something about this. You should really speak to them but I'm not sure things will be that different if you do. If they're running up and down at 5am there surely must be others who are disturbed by this too?

They are breaking their contract by being noisy. If you feel you can't speak to them, you need to speak to someone at the university and tell them that you took on that room on the understanding it would be relatively quiet. If they can't keep to their promise, they should release you from the contract.

I'm so sorry for you; it sounds like hell.

Go and have a moan and ask if they have a quiet room available anywhere. Sounds horrendous. Only 4 more months though!

She's the one who is strange and not you. I wouldn't be put off going to the student counsellor because they can be really helpful. Good idea putting a do not disturb sign on the door. And if that doesn't work tell her you will have to see somebody in authority if she continues to harrass you like this. You won't want to do that but perhaps the threat will be enough for her.

I think there are separate issues going on here, which are related in how they play out:

There is an issue with general disrespect for the living space of others in also called quiet hall. This is one to discuss with the management who should reiterate guidelines and standards of expected behaviour. You have the right to feel secure in your home. I assume you pay as much rent as others do. This confers rights upon you.

There is an issue with an individual who does not understand boundaries. This may be helped by a reissue of guidelines as above, but probably will need some additional action such as you restating your own boundaries. If it helps to cite migraine or whatever then do this.

There is an issue with your anxiety, which sounds as if it is being exacerbated by your living situation. I think you have to invest in yourself here and get some help. There are many sources which would keep your information confidential. If your anxiety lessens, you will feel better able to cope with the halls situation, you will probably be able to perform better and feel happier in your own way of being.

I feel so angry for you op!

Oh, cross post. I think you need to speak to the management and get them to intervene. That might be a general reminder that these are meant to be quiet halls for hard-working student, or a few individual chats.

If the halls are meant to be post-grad and quiet and that's what you signed up for, the managers are failing to honour their contract with you. You could point that out and suggest that if they are unable to honour their part of the contract you'd like to be released form yours. Moving out is a hassle but a quick one and could be so worthwhile.

Also, the managers will be people you can have a more dispassionate chat with, there isn't the personal tension there. I know some people would have no qualms about asserting themselves with your flatmates but, especially if this is the culture of the main group, very few people would have the confidence and ability to turn the situaton around.

I really feel for you here.

If they were that loud last night is there any chance the other floors might complain and save you the confrontation?

I know it's a long shot, but is there any where you could go for a couple of nights? Just to calm down and get a break from it all?

Yes, could you end your contract at Easter and find a room in a shared house, or, lodge in someone's spare room?

Lots of people I know have a lodger and someone quiet and considerate who doesn't bang around late at night or get in the way at weekends is exactly what they want! (Really, they'd like the money without having to share their house with an actual person but they often form quite nice relationships in an occasional chat in the kitchen and rare, planned meal together kind of way).

I would say go and see yourGP and discuss this with them. Also do you have a tutor you trust? Go and talk to them, see if they can suggest who to talk to. If possible you could do with moving to somewhere quieter, she also needs someone to have a word with her.

She sounds very immature, and they all sound a bit childish for Post grads. The only similar behaviour I know of when I was a post grad was a group of Aussie student who were a bit loutish. If I had been in their house I wouldhave complained, but their behaviour didn't affect me so I didn't really. However now I wish I had said something as they were a bit bullying to one particular Sanish student.

I can't move out, I would have to pay for the rest of the year. Besides, the hassle of moving when I only have 4 months to go and 10000 words to write this month means it just doesn't make sense.

Our halls is specifically a designated quiet halls for postgrads so it's not meant to be like this. And I can't switch rooms, because all the rooms in quiet halls are taken. I can't see anyone upstairs being desperate to switch with me.

I'm going to have to bite the bullet and talk to them. And I fucking hate them for putting me in this position.

How very undergraduate. It's half way through the year, haven't they settled in and calmed down yet? I don't believe every corridor in your halls will be like this, it sounds as though you're stuck with a particularly immature bunch. Could you ask to move rooms?

I remember living in halls during the summer at the end of my masters, so no undergraduates, just post-grads working flat out on our dissertations. The college rented out the many empty rooms to tourists, mostly student age groups. I remember, while working one Saturday night, there was shrieking jollity reverberating form the next block, someone, voicing my thoughts, shouted out the window, telling them to keep it down (and of course got a blase 'chill out it's Saturday night' back). Proper post-grads (or rather, the ones home on Saturday night were inevitably the ones working!).

Hi Mechanical how are things this morning? Drunk people running up and down corridors at silly o'clock reminds me of my own halls experience (I hated it!).

I wkuld move out asap. This is not going to get better. Anxiety or no anxiety. Just go. X

Oh that really isn't fair, although it isn't unusual for halls.

I second/third the idea of lodging somewhere else. Would you lose out financially if you left the halls? Could you make a change at Easter?

I think it's time to leave now, not just for your state of mind but for the sake of your studies.

Does it have to be halls? is living out an option- shared house or whatever?
Halls sound like my idea of hell - I like my own space and being sociable when I want to be.
I couldn't put up with this.

This sounds like a difficult environment for you, I think you should look at another option. Your home is vital to your wellbeing, I'm worried that you're exacerbating your symptoms by putting more stress on yourself. Most of us would find that difficult to live with! Is there any chance you could look at becoming a lodger? Most people prefer quiet lodgers who keep themselves peacefully to themselves!

Hope you are ok. I have generalised anxiety an panic disorder so I get how you are feeling
I'd be polite (unless she just didn't get the message) answer the door, and say "I have a migraine, I'm getting some rest" and shut the door
Polite but firm. If she really doesn't get the message then you will have to be harsher
Someone did it to me at Uni, but the door was open, she threw water on me (as a joke) but I was so wound up I flung my arm out to push her away and bust her lip
Solved the problem and she was still my friend!!

Given that the rest of my flatmates are currently running up and down the corridor drunk and screaming at the top of their voices, I'm inclined to believe they don't really give a fuck about disruption.

Yes, I expect its not just you she is disrupting- so you could go to the warden or whoever you feel comfortable with and say you would prefer it nt to come directly from you so not to get any comeback but she must stop banging on your door.

Someone will have a word and she will stop and not know who it is so wont be able to make trouble if that is what might concern you. Also it means the is a record of her behaviour which is good in case she won't stop!

Oh, mech, that is horrible!

I would be very tempted to talk to your student services/tutor/whoever manages grad housing. Even if you didn't have any anxiety issues, she is being very antisocial and it's not on.

I would not try to talk to her - I would send a formal email with a complaint. If you are a softie (as I think you might be), you could explain you don't think she means badly, but she is still disrupting your life to quite a substantial extent.

If you lived in private housing, someone banging on your door and yelling for you on a regular basis would seem appalling - she needs to grow up and learn that this isn't ok just because she is in halls.

It certainly isn't you - it's definitely her. You wouldn't go banging on a flat 3 floors up shouting this, it's someones private home, just as your room in your hall of residence is your home . Agree with the migraine, can't argue with that one!

How about opening the door putting your coat on saying "is they a fire? Thanks do much for warming me, let's get out"

When she says 'no, I just wanted to talk to you' you can then explain that hammering on the door is a sign that tere is an emergency - not that someone wants a chat.

When I lived in halls I wasn't friends with those on my corridor so luckily didn't have te problem. We got on fine just didn't socialise together. Are there other friends you have that you could focus on?

Tell her you work with headphone on and music playing, and sleep with ear plugs in, so you really can't hear her when she bangs.

She sounds awful! I doubt she is popular btw, just in a group that hangs out together. And it's fine not to be a social animal, what rubbish - people enjoy themselves in different ways- chatting quietly, dancing on tables whatever.

Anyway, next time just open the door, say " sorry, but I am studying. Please don't bash on my door again." and close it.

It's quite stressful worrying about it so also mention to a few people that she has been bashing on your door and it's really annoying. Someone might intervene for you.

You can still go out in a group, if you want. If she says anything, which I doubt she will, just say " yes, that's right, stop banging on my door! "

With any luck she will just ignore you. Which is much easier to deal with

Tell her that it's nothing personal but sometimes you get migraines so you want to curl up and shut the world out until it goes away. And that sometimes you are tired so have a nap and want to wake up when your alarm is set, not on somebody else's schedule. Or sometimes you're doing your course work and you've just got everything sorted in your mind and you want to get it down on paper before you forget and not stop and so be back at square 1 next time you do it. or I might be on the phone to somebody and mot want to interrupt the conversation. Or who knows what.

However if you hear a knock and are able to come out then you will. If she's worried about you missing out on a social trip to the pub or whatever then leave all the details on a post it note and you will catch up with them later if you finish/feel better in time. But that you can hear and if you're not answering it's for a reason. So please don't hammer on the door - a simple knock is enough.

And if she still carries on then make a joke about remembering that I'm one of your college friends who has lots of college work to do and not one of her patients that needs to be bossed around or a pet poodle that's there and waiting to provide her with entertainment on demand!

Good luck dealing with her - she is definitely the one out of order here.