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It was a horrible moment - like a freezeframe in a nightmare. It was only about ten-fifteen minutes in total but I still felt like I was going to LOSE MY REASON.

We're currently living with PIL who leave the front garden gate open when they leave the house. DD went outside. I put on my coat and grabbed my bag and went out too. No DD. No DD in the garden. No DD in the road. No DD in the house. I checked up trees and under cars, like I was looking for a cat. I called and called her name but nothing. I saw a van parked by the road and knocked on the window. I must have looked FRANTIC because he refused to roll it down so I had to shout through the window;
"Have you seen a little girl in a blue coat and a bear hat?"

He said No, but that he would drive round the block and have a look. I didn't want to leave the house but I had the horrors about where she could have got to. Lots of neighbours with big gardens, ponds, a main road, etc etc. The van came back. No DD. I told him I was going to call the police, he said he would have another look and off he drove.

Have you ever felt like you were having a dream? Thats how this felt, exactly. Like stasis. I must have really aces shock absorbers because I didn't start to feel really afraid until I imagined myself doing a news conference about her disappearance. Then the man came round the corner with DD in his arms. He had found her in the park, a good walk away and over a main road. DD is not-quite-three. She was fine. I have aged a thousand years and now look like Keith Richards.

Any ideas what I can say to her? It's not just that she ran off, but happily let herself by picked up by a stranger who said he was going to take her to mummy. I know she is very young and doesn't have the necessary comprehension about danger but I've told her she scared me, and that it was SUPER dangerous to go off by herself without telling me but otherwise, how do you explain at this age?

Poor you. No advice though - I have no idea

Ooooooooh my darling!

The guy was amazing

So glad al was ok.

Must have been terrifying.
How old is she?

How scary for you. I'm glad she was found safe and well. I'm not sure there's a lot you can say at this age as comprehension of danger is a bit in many children.
I guess all you can do is reward for staying still when told to etc?
Emphasise the importance of listening to mummy etc? Reins?

Start by telling pil not to leave gate open and don't let dde outside by herself

The guy was amazing - he was in his work van so emailled his work to tell them again how amazing he was.

It was horrible. Calling and getting no response, no response, no response. Trying to sound calm when I looked like I was about to start throwing shoes at lamposts.

DD is 2.10 so nearly three. I asked her about the road and she said she just 'ran across'

Oh, how scary. I hate that feeling when DD (also almost 3yo) is out of my sight, even for a moment.

Can you ask your PILs to shut the gate when they go out? With DD, all you can really tell her is that she must never ever go off alone, and hope that she gets it. But the PILs are old enough to understand (although it might be hard at first for them to get used to shut the gate if they're not used to doing so).

Oh my goodness how terrifying! I'm sure you won't, but just never let her out of the door unless she is holding your hand. I can't imaging how scared you must have been, have an extra large glass of wine and some chocolate tonight to get over the shock.

it's a shock - you have everything going through your mind at superspeed.

Focus on the fact the there are good people out there like that man.

I'm sure there must be web pages on how to explain these things to such a young child - maybe use some of her teddies and dolls in a role play kinda way IYSWIM.

I invested in 2 of these just in case this ever happened. They set off a really loud alarm and at least let you know what direction to go on or save vital minutes checking under cars etc.

What a fright you must have got are you and your dd ok now?

givemaclue Already done that - making sure I leave the house with her and keeping the sodding gate closed. I was literally thirty seconds behind her. Thirty seconds. In that time she must have gone out the gate and into the street.

We lost ds1 when we were on holiday. That moment where both dh and I said 'I thought * was with you. Where is he?' Never want to experience that again.

Don't know what you can say to her apart from the usual - never run off, play where mummy can see you type phrases.

Am sure you don't look like Keith Richards , but I know how you feel.

Oh my god how awful! This is yet to happen to me. Ten - 15 minutes must've felt like an eternity.

I would ask your PILs to shut the gate, too. And I think the only thing you can do is keep reiterating the same facts over and over and make her repeat back to you until she gets it.

The man was brilliant - good to see you emailed his company.

Vv scary, I still remember when my mum lost one of her childminding charges in the park- I must have been about 6 but I remember how frantic she was. How fantastic of him to stop and help! Just goes to show how most people in this world are lovely really. for you later and one for him too!!

I think I'd be more focusing on changing adult procedures than changing a 2 yr olds thinking. Get your PILs to fit one of those spring things on the gate so it closes automatically and don't let your DD go out alone.

I once lost DS in a DIY megastore - he got stuck between two doors in a door display. It was only a couple of minutes but it aged me 20 yrs! At least I could hear a weak cry of Mama! I just couldn't find him!

Have a big wine and get some gate / door protocol going. So glad you got her back!

Oh jesus, it's all of our worst nightmares, she's obviously (now it's obvious!!) not old enough to go out the door without you right with her, not critisising, I let my 19 month old in the garden but my window looks right onto it.

Thank god eh? and yes, what a lovely fella!! wonder what he initially thought you were going to do, by not rolling window down?

I have no advice either really.... just wanted to throw my hat in the ring and say poor you, it must have been terrible. I was in a market in London a couple of weeks ago when a family lost their three year old son, everyone was amazing and we all ran around looking for him - I'll never forget the look on the mum's face when he was found. I had to call home and make sure mine was where she should be. <hugs> xx

Real heart in mouth moment, so glad all ended well. Very thoughtful of you whilst still in shock to tell the man's employers how helpful he'd been.

Labour the point about you being very worried, it is very naughty and dangerous to go on or across the road by her self, how would Mummy or Daddy know where to find her, always stay close by.

Mainly lay it on thick with PILs about shutting the gate but how did she exit the house, did they not shut the door?

Thanks all, she started the week off for me by choking on a little piece of mango so I had to pull out the Heimlich Manuovre, and now this. It's almost like she wants me to suffer

Teddy role play is a good idea. I tried to emphasise how dangerous it was about cars, strangers etc but in really simple terms. Not sure she paid much attention but it's not a situation I intend to allow to happen again IYSWIM.

I like the idea of the child locators. I think she had covered quite a distance on her little legs by the time I would have thought to use it today.

Ugh. Don't even drink anymore so just sodding tea for me.

* Hard life face *

Wow. How horrid.
I lost ds2 in M&S yesterday. He's 4.7 and knows better but thought it would be funny to play hide & seek without telling me . In the food section,he disappeared down the aisle, I heard his footsteps thunder down the next aisle and then the sound just stopped. In my head he'd been snatched and carried away. I called and called, more and more frantic. Shop staff weren't bothered when I asked for help, but other customers helped me. He was found in the clothing section, under a display table. I has livid and relieved, all at the same time!
It was only 5+ mins but my heart was in my mouth.

PIL really should get in the habit of shutting the gate.

What a nice man It happens so easily, my heart skips a beat when DS1 runs off and I can't see him for 1 minute. I hope you can put it in context for your DD and I'm so glad she was returned safely to you

It only takes a minute unfortunately, we used to say there must be a guardian angel looking after ours, you do your best as a parent. A friend of mine nearly choked to death at Christmas, she was eating with extended family in her own home but felt too embarrassed to ask for help as she thought she could cough it away, luckily her DH spotted she was in trouble.

Just remembered when I reunited a little girl with her dad in a small festival.
She was screaming and crying, so I put her on my shoulders and told her to look for him.
The poor dad hugged me so hard later, he nearly suffocated me.

It was about 10 mins, but he said it had felt like a lifetime. Bless!

Oh my GOD. How awful! I can imagine it. I "lost" DD2 in a soft play centre when she was just over 1...she was walking early and it was DD1s party...DH and I both thought the other was looking after D2....she was missing for almost 15 minutes and when we found her, she was deep within the frame with some little girls of about 6...they were Mothering her and playing with her like a doll...she was lapping it up of course!

Horrifying. I remember the awful sinking feeling when people began to search the carpark. I thought someone had made off with her.

Haha LibertineLover I have no idea what he thought I was offering. I looked frightening.

Yes to all advice about gate - have spoken to PIL about it - it's their driveway so it's more that they don't have to keep getting in and out of car to open/close it but I'm all over it now. If she had been playing in the garden I would have made sure she was in the back garden where I could see her but we were just popping to the shops.

Repeat, repeat, repeat. You're right. I don't want to tell her it's naughty, because that can become a bit of a game, but if I endlessly reiterate the danger element I'm hoping it'll sink in.