Mumsnet Talk

Death and funerals are slightly on my mind this week and I wondered what people wanted for their "last songs" as it were.

My dh's grandma had "All Things Bright And Beautiful" and "Morning Has Broken" at her funeral, both of which I thought were lovely. The church was packed and everyone could sing along.

My inclination is to have something life affirming and uplifting as my send-off song. I would absolutely hate to think of people being very distressed about me not being there. Even if I were to die youngish, I would fret about being the root cause of anyone's sadness or sorrow.

But yet sad and gloomy funeral songs and hymns do seem to be the norm. Is this more for the benefit of the relatives do you think?

I think so. I'm having Ave Maria first so that (if) anyone wants to have a good old sob/wail/throw themselves over the coffin, they can get it out of the way.#

After that, it's all uplifting, musical songs (just haven't decided which yet, there's tons in the running!)

I'm a will writer and always ask whether my clients would like to specify any funeral wishes.

I would say that "Spirit in the Sky" is one of the all time favourites, followed by (strangely), pretty much anything by Abba.

I ask my younger clients if they are really sure that they want to specify Dancing Queen as they are taken out of the church, bearing in mind that statistically they are probably going to be 92 years old when they pop their clogs

I haven't told dh but must remember to tell him that I want Vaughan Williams "lark arising".

Can you put songs in your will Mumblechum? I suppose it makes more sense just to tell your close relatives, before everyone gets down to going through the will?

I want Do You Realize by the Flaming Lips, incredibly uplifting and celebratory about death. DH has been told!

mumble do you mean Lark Ascending? (Just in case there's a mix up and some appalling rap/beatbox/insert distaste made a track called Lark Arising

Wake me up before you you go go for me please!

I'm not planning for people to be singing along, but as songs to be played I am planning on

Days -- Kirsty MacColl version

Ashokan Farewell

and possibly I'll Be On My Way by the Saw Doctors

'Sunshine on my shoulders' by John Denver at MIL's - sad and uplifting in equal measure.

'Love of my life' Queen, at DH's sister's memorial, played after her husband's tribute. Can't hear it without bawling.

For my mum I can't remember the first song but think itwas a hymn my dad chose going in and Abba Dancing Queen,which my sister chose going out.

For my dad he had chosen a classical piece going in, and we decidedon Queen We are the Champions going out,because Queen was the only 'modern'music he liked.

For me I want Amazing Grace going in and apparently Meatloaf Bat out of Hell going out. I say apparently because I can't remember saying this when we talked about it but mysister tells me I did!

I think it is important to think about these things, as we struggled to choose the music for my mum,as she didn't actually like music all that much, so it was a great help to know what my dad had chosen. He left us to choose the Queen song.

This is why my sisters and I have told each other our choices. Morbid maybe.

Mine is bittersweet, it's No fear of Falling by I Am Kloot

Shakey yes, sorry, that's what I mean.

flouncing, yes, lots of people want to put tons of detail about their funeral arrangements in their will, eg their ashes divided into several lots and scattered all over Europe.

I generally encourage clients to do a letter of wishes so that they can update their funeral wishes, unless they're very elderly and unlikely to change their mind.

Although I now need to add Do You Realize to the list. Hmm. It's going to be a long funeral, clearly...

I've had my wishes in a folder for about ten years and have told all family where to find them. They include style of coffin (cheap and cheerful), no flowers, songs (thus far), cremation, no headstone, where to scatter ashes. I'm hoping it will make it easier for everyone involved.

I'm having the calling 'wherever you will go'.
I decided on it years ago and now they've made it into a blooming teabag advert. But im not changing it now. So people will either listen to the nice words about dh needing love after I'm gone and if I could I'd stay with you for all of time etc or they can have a laugh and think ooh she did like a cup of tea did purple!

Oh I have tons! But Good Riddance (Time of your life) by Green Day, I hope you dance by Lee Ann Womack (I think), and Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton are the three I always come back to.

My Dad had the Gardeners World and Top Gear theme tunes .

For Grandad we used Yorkshire Brass band music, think it was possibly off the 'Brassed Off' soundtrack.

Going in - Venice Queen by RHCP
Going out - Home by Foo Fighters

Ace songs.

I haven't given it much thought tbh but Dh fresh back from Glastonbury requested Thankyou for the days by Ray Davies /kinks .

I think it's nice for the loved ones left behind to choose something that reminds them of you iyswim.

My Dad had the same as your Dhs gran.

I hear How Great Thou Art a bit....I think it's a very moving hymn.

Do you realise- flaming lips.

Google the lyrics if you don't know them.

It would probably be a bad idea to go with what Sarah said (death can for cutie) at a funeral. Especially if it was a sudden death involving care in an ICU.

I like the green day recommendation a lot.

I want The Ramones cover version of What a Wonderful World. Brilliant rendition of an awesome song and expresses so many things I'd want to say

The one with the name change- is that you? Baby dude is postnatal group friends with 'the kloot' offspring.

I have a ligging baby...

DSiL had 'Always look on the bright side of life' as her coffin was lowered. It was very her...