Mumsnet Talk

"Of the two witnesses, hold the principal one."
This is about trusting instinct vs the expertise of others where it goes against your instinct and inborn wisdom. It doesn't matter how much "evidence" there is for anything, if your gut is screaming it is wrong for you or your baby, hold yourself as principal witness.

Also, cultivate mindfulness. Half of the harm you will do to yourself, your kids or to anyone in life will come from being preoccupied in yourself with the past or the future or other places your mind has wandered to (judging, evaluating, fantasising, clinging to the past or yearning for objects or a different past, present and future). Being able to stick to the here and see with fresh eyes over and over and over again is the best you can do as a parent or as a human.

When you are pissed off with yourself, with life, with your husband, with your kids, with your boss, with the judgemental person you met at baby group, try this:

May I be safe
May I be happy
May we be healthy and strong
May we live with ease

May [they] be safe
May [they] be happy
May [they] be healthy and strong
May [they] live with ease.

The other thing that really helped me this year was this two breath prayer:
"Breathing in, I calm my body,
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in this present moment,
this is the only moment".

Gets me through LOADS of extreme irritation/annoyance/--borderline murderous rage--

You can't spoil a baby by picking it up and cuddling it.
Hear hear.

Sing to your baby from day 1, and don't stop until they tell you your embarrassing.
You may get cross, but never, EVER make your child feel worthless or unlovable.

Whatever is happening now will pass. It's a phase. However awful.

The only thing you genuinely cannot get done while they are awake is to rest. So try to get chores done while they're awake so you can put your feet up when they're asleep when they're small.

Ask for help. With housework, your PND. Whatever.

(And on a more mundane level, try and get all socks - like those Ikea plates - in the same colour, or at least buy a few different packs of the same type of pattern as they WILL get lost. More so than you ever dreamed possible with grown up socks).

Every body finds some of it difficult, easy and wonderful.

Great thread - due with DC1 in two weeks. Thanks all

Try and take a goat around a supermarket. This is what its like to have a toddler.

A hungry, tired goat.

Congratulations Puzi
When they are babies-napping is your friend. Seriously, fling yourself on any flat surface and grab 10 mins whenever possible, solves even the most broken of nights mania

Toddlers, the goat analogy is vairr true, definitely choose your battles too.
I was about to pin one of them down to put pyjamas on last week after a mega meltdown but realised that it was for no reason other than to 'win' We had a cuddle and then I snuck in an hour later and popped his PJs on-saved my energy for the school run trauma the next day....

Yes to napping when you can. Or just sitting down! You do not have to run around cleaning while they sleep.

All mammals, even the stupid ones, can give birth, feed and care for their offspring. So can you.

Don't be quick to wish your DC onto the next stage (is crawling to walking) You never get the time back, so just enjoy each stage as it happens,

Don't worry if you don't feel the rush of love as soon as your baby is handed to you, it's normal to be shell shocked and for me it all felt very surreal.

Agree with you can't spoil a baby or make a rod for your own back, it's just a phase , it will pass.

Don't read parenting books, don't listen to bragging parents, don't worry about losing baby weight in celebrity time and don't buy a tonne of 0-3 clothes.

Do eat cake and sniff your baby's head. Not at the same time.

I like this thread, not having kids for a few years yet, but will happily agree with the toddler/goat analogy thinking back to this mornings melodrama with charge aged 2.3

There is nothing wrong with getting a game out on the phone to distract them whilst you put their tights and trousers on...

be prepared...

change of clothes
tissues
snacks
entertainment for the boring bus rides
sick bowls
poorly blankets
something to do on those god awful moan filled rainy days

oh and, do it your way.......take the advice given on board then ignore what's not for you

Actually I'd say don't buy a ton of any age group clothes. Ds2 stayed in 0-3 until 6 months, had a massive growth spurt and went straight into 6-9! We had BAGS of 3-6 month clothes that we had been given as gifts and from our older son and they were useless!

Love this thread! My ds is only 5 months do not much to add but definitely agree that no one knows your baby as well as you, so don't let them convince you they know howto bring him/her up better than you do. Also, cherish the moments when he loves falling asleep in your arms - one day he'll be far too big for it top be practical!

at spare clothes, DD1 (2.5) ended up in Next children's department wearing my T shirt as a dress.

She'd decided to throw up a whole chocolate milk shake and was soaked from head to foot.

I, of course had decided spare toddler clothes were to heavy to lug about.

IKEA flower shaped plates jam the dish washer.

Don't worry, DD1 is 15 and taller than me, she still falls a sleep with her head on my knee occasionally.

at tired hungry goat. I might even make that my new nn.

Always stock your handbag with a packet of raisins sweets, babywipes and a plastic bag.

Tantrums pass and are best ignored or distracted from.

Do what you need, to get the sleep you need.

Get a nice wipeable leather sofa and don't buy cream carpets.

Playing games to trick them into doing what you want works rather well in this house.
(Therefore a race to see who can get into their pjs fastest helps more at bedtime than a bouncing competition.)

Aw startail that is so sweet. Do teenage boys do that too as I only have DS's.

Yes, always, ALWAYS have food in your bag. I don't know at what age you can stop doing this?