Mumsnet Talk

So, what would your top tips be? Mine, based on todays incident alone, not including the hundreds like it that we have had, would be:

Do not ever purchase those packs of IKEA plastic cups/plates/bowls whatever in multiple colours. Just buy ONE SODDING COLOUR for all kids plates, beakers, etc and avoid endless toddler-colour-angst.

Ignore all advice (especially the bonkers stuff).

If it feels right then do it, if it doesn't feel right then don't.

Conflicting information will make your head spin - don't listen to any of it.

That toy they cuddle? Start washing it from day 1. And buy a replacement.

Cupboad locks. For all. Sanity saver,

<makes notes>

When they're pre-mobile silence is golden, it means your little cherub is asleep. Once they're mobile silence is your enemy. It means they're busy doing something they shouldn't be doing.

Don't waste your money on loads of toys. 18mo and 3yo are completely ignoring the toy box and have spent the last hour playing with an empty Heroes tin, a wooly hat and an empty plastic bottle. Maybe that's just them.

Baby classes that cost £££ are not compulsory, you are not a shit parent if you don't want to do them. You will know what your baby wants without sign language lessons, you can teach them to swim without paying £11 for a 30 minute Water Babies session, newborns don't need dance classes.

Remember what the world looks like to a child. You were one once.

Yy Folk. Remember there is time to stand and stare. At sticks or lorries or clouds.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Remember their first 5 years will drag and each day will blur into one. Then you will take them to school and wonder where the time went and will think it has flown by

Don't judge other parents until your child is or has been the same age once.
You may think your child will never scream in public or eat chocolate but you will probably end up doing something you have previously tutted at.

I have more.

Everyone is allowed to be a bit of a nob with their first DC and for the first six months with any subsequent DC. Be tolerant with those afflicted and remember that you used to be like that.

Sometimes when your baby is born and they're put into your arms you feel an instant rush of love so fierce it's scary. Other times you're so overwhelmed and tired that it takes longer. Don't worry, you're not broken, it'll come in time. One day you will look at your baby and you'll know you do love him/her afterall.

If the price of a good nights sleep is a rod for your own back, take the rod.

You can't spoil a baby by picking it up and cuddling it.

Always always pack a change of clothes for the little ones. The day you forget is the day he does an exploding nappy/vomits all over himself/falls in the duck pond and then you have to carry a baby through the clothes department of M&S in just a nappy and shoes looking for something anything to buy and dress him in <bitter experience>

Don't do it, keep your life, sanity, money & unventilated vagina ;-)

Seriously, though, "Don't sweat the small stuff" is my mantra.

Babies don't care how expensive the buggy they are in cost you, same as cot, bedding, toys etc

Don't judge other parents until your child is or has been the same age once. Quite. I learnt this very early on and it always amazes me that after having kids, some people still judge those with older children than theirs, when they clearly have no idea what it's like to have a toddler/teen/whatever.

Relax. Your beloved offspring will not end up a psychopath in a grimy bedsit with needles hanging out of their arms after their psychiatrists have given up on them as a result of you not being able to immediately work out why they are crying at 3 days old.

Honest!

(I was a teeny bit paranoid about dd maybe feeling abandoned).

There's no such thing as a rod for your own back. Babies are always changing and nothing is set in stone.

* Don't judge other parents until your child is or has been the same age once*

Yes to this! DB used to judge me something rotten when DS was 2yo and very 'spirited'. He'd tell me to control my child, get some discipline, "^just tell him to stop it^" when DS was having a tantrum, and so on. He babysat once and left DS alone when he went to the loo, DS unplugged all DBs TV/telephone, etc His favourite line was "shall I parent for you?" followed up by "my DS will never do that". I used to explain it's just his age but was ignored.

His DS is now 2yo and ten times as 'spirited' as my DS ever was.

DB is waiting for me to say I told you so but I won't do it. No matter how badly DN acts, no matter how boisterous, no matter how stressed DB gets I just smile sweetly and say "it's just his age, he'll grown out of it ... "

YES YES!! don't judge other parents...

Do you here this SIL? DO YOU??? with your "oh we will never let them sleep in our bed/eat chocolate/take over our living room" Not so smart now ARE YOU??? ahem, and breathe...

The mess will still be there when they are in bed, in fact it'll still be there in the morning. So play with the lego/barbies/painting and then have your bath/glass of wine/read your book and just do it tomorrow.

Will be heeding my own advice!

Take them seriously and treat their fears/worries seriously. It may seem silly to you but they just need reassured!

That sometimes babies cry because they're tired.

Try not to listen when your Granny tells you she weaned your mother at 4 weeks old and she slept through the night.

Health visitors know a lot, but they don't know your baby. Trust your instincts - you have them for a reason.

Hear even!

Pick your battles. Some things really arent worth the fight.

"Listen to the small things now and they will tell you the big things later because to them? They are all big things."

-- Unknown wise person

Talk to other parents. Ask people's opinions. Listen to their experiences. Don't expect to get it right every time.Admit it when you are struggling and ask for support, even if just on Internet forums! Pick your battles. And spend as much time as you can with your child.

Don't do everything.

I did everything on my eldest, proving to myself I was supermum, and also leaving out DH and feeling shattered into the process.

Don't ever think your child wont be the one who is lying on the supermarket floor screaming.They shame us all at some stage.So avoid the big tut.