Mumsnet Talk

So, very long story but resigned from work over a year ago due to bullying from boss. It has taken me this long to be able to function anywhere near normally but am feeling much better apart from overwhelming and irrational fear and panic at the thought of returning to employment.
I have an interview tomorrow but have spent the last week not sleeping and being in a state of panic nice receiving the invitation to interview letter. If I try to sleep, it gets worse.
Anyone fancy taking my mind off it?

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

don't try to sleep, just decide to lie there and relax, see what happens.

They like the sound of you. Worst case scenario - you don't get offered the job, but you will have had some useful practice in making an application and interview practice.

FWIW I had my first ever interview in 7 years this winter. I didn't get it. But the experience was useful all the same and no regrets.

I'm sure we can rustle up some terrible jokes for you

what room has no doors and no walls?









a mushroom <Boom-Tish>

Why does the Milliband man have a Cruella De Vil grey patch?

*Not a joke, a genuine question

I lay in bed and bore myself to sleep playing the alphabet game (choose a dull subject and a-z it!).
Good luck for tomorrow - we're all rooting for you!

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?


Sister matic!!!

These are making me chuckle.
My best is

One snowman said to the other snowman, "Can you smell carrots?"

I'm going into it purely as a practice and honestly don't mind if I don't get the job. I just can't seem to stop worrying about making a fool if myself!

What's brown and sticky? A stick

STOP IT!!!!!

Visualise yourself giving the best interview EVER - walking in with a friendly smile, a confident hand shake and giving fab answers!

a) you won't make a fool of yourself
b) if you don't get it you'll never have to see them again
c) what do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug.

Fos and Charls I know you're right. It's o e of them all day things with tasks etc. I could do the job easily but have lost all of my confidence. Will feel better just having got through it tomorrow.
Dh is Luvly but is too nice iyswim; says I don't have to go if I don't want to, but I think I need to just to prove to myself I can get through it. It's the process not actually getting the job that's important for me to do.

What's the difference between a teacher and a book?
You can shut a book up!!

Big clue as to nature of job?!!

Teaching? You're tougher than you think.

Just try and treat it like a game and promise yourself a treat when you're done.

Meal out with dc I think? Silly thing is, I was a deputy head for 11 yrs, was acting head loads of times and have my headship qualification. Not going for senior level job though. As I mentioned, ex boss did a real number on me (and the rest of the teaching staff all of whom resigned less than 6 months of her gaining her job)!

Guess I just want to feel like I've recovered and want to feel happy that I did well regardless of if I get the job or not.

At a recent job interview.
"What’s your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think that’s a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."

I was in the pub and saw a fish playing the piano.
Well, not so much playing as going through the scales.
It was a tuna.

What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a haddock?
One is wet and slippery, and the other's a fish.

What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a paranoid schizophrenic?
The schizophrenic only thinks everyone hates them.

Hopefully you've got to sleep by now, but I am sending you strength and very best wishes for tomorrow.
Teaching is a big fat bag o' shite. Underpaid, under respected, hard work, long hours....
That is if my observations of DH are true.

At a recent job interview.
"What’s your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think that’s a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."



Keep this in mind...

Thank you. Not asleep yet but feeling less totally overtaken by pure fear!

"I don't give a fuck what your feeling."

If you are habing trouble sleeping, may I suggest some of the good housekeeping tips? 20 mins of reading about how to clean a granite worktop should send you off.

Watching tv in bed! Not helping myself am I?!

If it helps, go with it. At least you're relaxing a bit.

I must be getting tired myself because I thought that was funny when I typed it but when I read it back ...

... Watching tv in bed ...
What are you wearing?

Ahem

Oh well ...

Q What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a bank robber?
A None. Once they have done their jobs, they get away as quickly as they can, leaving devastation behind them.

Q What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a soldier?
A The soldier jumps to orders and the inspector jumps to conclusions.

Q What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a plastic surgeon?
A Well, the plastic surgeon tucks features.....

Q What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a pile of s***?
A Well, the pile of s* actually has some use.

Q What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a baby's nappy?
A None, they both contain an inexhaustible supply of the same thing.

Q What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a skunk?
A Some people like skunks.

Q What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a serial killer?
A The serial killer works to a method.

Q What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a Jehovah's Witness?
A You can get rid of a Jehovah's Witness without needing a shotgun.

Q What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a politician?
A No-one has the faintest idea how OFSTED inspectors are chosen.

And finally, What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a Rottweiler?
Pick your choice from:-
You can have a Rottweiler put down, a Rottweiler has only one face, a Rottweiler doesn't smile just before it attacks or a Rottweiler is a lot less aggressive.

Anyone else got the impression Dan has been saving these jokes for an occcassion such as this?

Good luck OP.

Those are shockingly bad jokes.
OP, if you are still awake this may make you laugh.
We live on floor 19 of a block of flats. I've seen a baby grow from being about 2 months old to his current 8. He is a lovely smiley little boy.
In the last hour I've been to the shops, I went down, called the lift and he came out asleep on his dads shoulder. Pushed ground, smiled at Dad. baby woke up, lifted his head off his dads shoulder, smiled a bit, focussed, saw me and was inconsolable.
Fast foreward 45 minutes, I do the same in reverse, baby rocks up with mum this time wide awake though. Saw me and screamed the place down.

Good luck for today - you can do this!

Well am back! Didn't get the job. Internal candidate who had been seconded to the school in September from the LEA got it. Bad experience all round really
Myself and the other 2 candidates all knew within 5 minutes she would get it. The head and governors barely spoke to us but were very gushy to her. They even talked amongst themselves during the in tray exercise in my 2 mins prep time about their sons being poorly. Did not listen to a word of what was being said and couldn't look any of us in the eye! Teaching task was not on a level playing field as internal candidate knew all of the kids. After the group task, one governor pulled the internal candidate back from the rest of us to whisper something to her. Other tasks were too short on time and only the internal candidate managed to complete them (data analysis and levelling using data from the kids she currently teaches), it was as if she knew what was coming??? So all in all, pretty bad experience all round, but who'd want to work in a place like that?!!! Best off outta it; narrow escape?!