Mumsnet Talk

My mum has been made homeless, she rang the shelter line and they directed her to an open house in her town, they are full. She's sitting outside the building on the floor. They have told her they wont bring her in unless the temp drops to below 0. The council have told her if she was over 60 or ill they would help?

Any idea what she can do now please?

My mum is an alcoholic and even though she is not drink at the moment, she is ill from a binge a few days ago, I can't have her here.

That's so sad

Is there absolutely no way you could take her in ? Even on the short term?

I have been homeless and it is scary and lonely .

Please , if you can , don't leave your poor mum sitting on the doorstep of the building

Why can't she stay with you?

Alcoholic or not I couldn't be heartless enough to leave her OUTSIDE it's fucking freezing out there! Go and get her.

Check her into a hotel for the night and deal with it when the relevant authorities are open tomorrow?

No, I can't. I have children in my house and they come first.

Cassie this is not your problem. We don't know the full facts but shelters and hostels do not turn people away unless they have good reason. That reason is often that the alcoholics behavior in those places has caused chaos. Most probably her luck has run out.

This is the consequence of her own actions. It is not up to you to bail her out, put her up or sort her accommodation out. Be strong - you will not be helping by putting her up - you will just be enabling her to carry on.

Alcoholics are selfish and manipulative.

Can you google to see if there are any other shelters in your area?

Is there a women's hostel? What town is this? Tell us where OP and we;ll try to help.

What about WA? Chruch? Y Hostel? Could you pay for a night at the cheapest hotel b/b in the area for her?

How awful for you and for her. Sorry that you are going through this.

Is there no other family or friends she could stay with? could you possible book her a room in a travel lodge just for tonight?

Cassie don't listen to anyone who does not have first hand experience of living/ dealing with an alcoholic.

Don't believe what she tells you either, she'll use you, your children, anyone to get herself fit to have the next drink. She knows exactly what she has to do to stop drinking.

Be strong this is not your problem. It's hers. Don't feel guilty

She is your mother, it is freezing. You must know someone who could give her shelter overnight, even if you dont feel you can. How can you just leave her?

My stepfather was an alcoholic, I can fully understand why she does not want an alcoholic in the house when dc are there.

Are there any other relatives or friends that could take her in?

You've made me cry Penelope, I'm trying so hard to be strong this time. She's a dangerous drunk which is why I can't have her here, been in this horrible battle with her and her alcoholism for 7 long sad years.

I just feel so bad It's so cold outside. I feel guilty for being warm at home.

OP what town is she in?

If you take her in the authorities will just consider her living with you.

Its harsh, and I was nearly homeless twice last year, but I agree that taking her in isnt as simple as it sounds.

Why was she made homeless?

Alcoholics are selfish and manipulative

...and human. It's an illness.

whore when someone is an alcholic it isn't always that simple. In an ideal world the OP would be able to take her in but she has made it pretty obvious that she feels that would be bad for her children and they do need to come first.

Cassie - you do what's right by your children.

I would google your local town and churches etc as many have an open night rota set up.

Failing that, a cheap b&b? Did she speak to the council today?

She has no family left apart from me, no one has spoken to her in years, she has no friends either.

Cassie it is hard but you must be strong for you and your own family. She will not put you first, so you must put you first.

Please ignore anyone who says pay for a travel lodge etc.

This is hard for you and she will play on your guilt. She has to face the consequences of her own actions but she'll try anything not to have to face up to it. And don't listen to her blackmail either "I won't drink again if you do xyz".

Have you a Simon Community charity near you? Google them. They helped us and were great.

Tell us what town Cassie so we can help you locate a place for her.

Like someone suggested, can you put her up in a b&b? I understand you don't want her around your children.