Some of you will be aware of my very difficult relationship with my parents, my mother in particular. She emotionally abused me for years and still does to a certain extent, though I have learned to just ignore. There's a lot of back story here, but I have MH issues, due to her treatment of me, and have been in long term therapy because of it.
She always, without fail demands money/vouchers for any occasion, saying that no other gift is acceptable. I didn't give into this at Christmas (for the first time ever) and they both got what I could afford, which, as I'm a single parent on disability benefits isn't a lot.
Anyway, they were here this morning, and both have birthdays 4 days apart in March, and Mother's Day this year is on the same day as my father's birthday, the 10th. Mother said could I just give them money or vouchers for all these occasions as nothing else would be any use, and would not be wanted anyway. She made a sarcastic comment about my last year's MD gift, saying she never uses it ( a small garden tools set, as she loves her garden) but I could give her money/voucher instead.
I should add that for Christmas every year, I get toilet rolls and kitchen scrubbers from them! And things like loose clothes hangers and paper hankies for my birthday.
I told her, that no, this would not be possible this year, as I had already bought things (I haven't! I intend to either buy something very cheap, or find something that's just lying around in the house)
I'm just so tired of her demands for money when she knows I'm struggling, and as at Christmas, I'm not going to give into them.
May just take you up on that offer Hecate! 
It is horrible flipp I have a RL friend who thinks I should just put up and shut up, and I find that hard to deal with as well, she thinks all my MH problems are rubbish and made up (actually have very little to do with her now)
I am slowly getting there with my family too
thewhistler
Sat 23-Feb-13 18:48:49
Has someone suggested those little packs of tissues you can get printed as US dollars ?
Put in a card with best wishes, world solve all the issues.
Moominsarehippos
Sat 23-Feb-13 18:53:32
Nothing, nothing, nothing. And a card made of (used) bog roll. Rotten old cow. Or a £1 gift voucher for the £1 shop.
hec I am up for splitting the cost of champagne and I will throw in the bunting, party poppers and lobster dinner.
Keep going zukie, we are right alongside you.
BettyStogs
Sun 24-Feb-13 13:14:47
Get a £20 gift card from somewhere, spend £19.80 of it on yourself, then put it in a card with the receipt for £20, so when she tries to spend it she'll find it's only got 20p on.
I'll pay for the band xxxx
Zukie, she sounds just dreadful, I am amazed you are prepared to give her anything at all tbh.
I know I would truly struggle with a Mother's Day card and certainly would not consider a gift 
.
hippoCritt
Sun 24-Feb-13 13:44:54
A red nose is £1 they also have little pin badges, she doesn't sound very charitable so it would be ideal. Good for you standing up for yourself
Never thought about a red nose Hippo
That's also a great idea 
So a cheap 29p card, and a red nose/variety club badge or poundland crap and that's it sorted!
I could give her the weeds from my garden for Mother's Day!
DioneTheDiabolist
Sun 24-Feb-13 14:08:25
Could you write her a little poem? Something sweetly PA that acurately describes your feelings towards her.
Thewhingingdefective
Sun 24-Feb-13 14:10:15
Bloody hell, Zukie, she sounds awful. Who the hell gives bog roll as a gift?
Just send a cheap card and a box of faux After Eights. Stop investing so much thought when it clearly is not appreciated.
MyDarlingClementine
Sun 24-Feb-13 14:18:06
I think you should forget giving her a present at all - its ridiuculous wasting all this time on it - and on mothers day - instead take yourself out somewhere nice and treat yourself.
Thewhingingdefective
Sun 24-Feb-13 14:19:53
Yep, I agree with Clementine. Mothers' Day is about YOU.
You're all right,
Nothing will please the old bag except cash, so whatever I do will be wrong in her eyes.
So rethinking things, a card with nothing in it, and no gift at all, is probably the best thing to do. I did it at Christmas, so I can do it again
My DC are taking me out for lunch on Mother's Day, and I'm looking forward to it, I think we're going to Cosmo, as I haven't been there yet (recently opened here) and I quite trying it.
LadyBeagleEyes
Sun 24-Feb-13 15:03:36
I would just send a card on Mothers Day until you feel ready to ignore, I don't think you're at that place yet.
I bet your lovely Dc treat you on Mother's Day anyway. I hope you let it be all about you this year.
Yes LadyBeagle,
Cards for birthday and Mother's Day this time, and maybe by next year I'll be ready to just cut them all out, once and for all.
Going out with my DC on Mother's Day, which I'm really looking forward to
TeWiSavesTheDay
Sun 24-Feb-13 19:36:51
That's sounds great. Your DDs sound lovely Zukie, I bet they're really looking forward to it too.
Thanks TeWi
They're really good girls, helped me through many a crisis or problem
