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My boiler sounds like it is about to blow up.

Sounds like a jackhammer hammering underneath my house. Water is spurting out the brickwork on the side of the house - not the pipe, the bricks FFS.

What the actual fuck do I do? The boiler is just over a year old.

Who do I ring? I'm petrified. The pressure on the boiler is at 4 bar - it is too high. The boiler is turned off at wall.

Emergency plumber I guess? Dig out the yellow pages (or google)

I don't know if there are any?

emergency plumber formthe yellow pages? British gas advertise that they will solve all house problems. Are you absolutley sure it is turned off?

There should be someone who advertises 24 hour work.
Your insurers helpline?

can you contact whoever installed the boiler? do you have any service agreement?

do you know how to turn the mains water supply off into the house. Maybe under the kitchen sink, or by the front door? Would stop any more water entering the system,a nd so the pressure should go down as the water is leaving anyway. Not a technical answer - just a thought.

Try these www.britishgas.co.uk/products-and-services/boilers-and-central-heating/one-off-boiler-repairs.html?WT.mc_id=PPC40059858&WT.srch=1&source=OnDemand-Google

Tried 2, no answer fuck fuck fuck.

Emergency plumber

But first, make sure the boiler tap is turned off.

Have you topped it up lately? If so, you might not have turned it all the way round.

can you ring your local water board - they should be open 24 hours and woudl probably be able to tell you a plumber or might be able to help you out in an emergency. Or advise you what to do.

Okay, sounds like perhaps a burst pipe maybe so don't panic. Turn the water off at the main stopcock (possibly out in the street?) and grab the yellow pages.

Hope you're okay and tell us how it goes xx

Theerson who fitted it?

stopcock in the street or garden will be a small metal square about 6 inch square - maybe in the path to the door or somewhere onthe boundary - might have a 'W' on it (for water)

Def turn water off - do you know where stopcock is?

Quite often , the stopcock is under the sink or if you have a downstairs toilet, in there.

I guess you have turned off your heating?

What type of boiler is it?

Turn of your water.

Turn off the electricity to the boiler if there is water everywhere ( there should be a switch close by or maybe you can turn it of at te fusebox)

The boiler will have a pressure release valve

The stopcock could be anywhere from the kitchen to the loft to the street/garden.

I'm sure hope the OP knows where it is.

just a thought. do you have a nice neighbor who might be able to help organise someone, assuming your on your own...

Ours was doing something similar at the weekend. Plumber came on Monday and said it's the expansion tank that has gone. He turned the heating control down to zero. So, we have no heating, but the hot water is still working.

Is it a combination boiler? If so, try turning the heating control all the way to zero.

Does turning a hot tap on make any difference? I have no idea about these things but when mine makes clanging noises due to the pressure that fixes it.

You'll need a plumber and a mortgage to pay for it

If you rent, call landlord

And now the Internet has bloody died. Fuck you virgin!

Yes I knew where the stopcock was thank goodness! Water off, noise stopped.

The pressure had been dropping a lot lately. Dp topped pressure up a couple of hours ago. Do you think he caused this?! Most likely... He is the usual source of damage in this house.

Right. I now have no water, and a baby who is 12 weeks old and bottle fed. What do I do about that?!!!!!

Okay DP just managed to get the last of the water out tap. So that will sort baby out for next couple of feeds overnight.

Jeez. I could really, really do without this. I have nothing but bad luck.

But hey, I'm still alive, right?!

Have you got Homeserve insurance?

That's good to know he topped the pressure up earlier.

It's quite probable that he didn't turn the tap all the way off.

I did that years ago and the boiler just freaked out and sprayed water everywhere!

See if you or he can check the boiler tap is turned off properly and remind him not to raise the pressure so high next time.

Our boiler technician told us not to raise it above 2 bars but I understand all boilers are probably different.