Mumsnet Talk

Aww Randall that is a lovely thing to say. Nothing to admire really. I just made the best of what I had. And raised her whilst my eye was elsewhere, like you say.

The most horrible thing (albeit trivial) all of dd's baby photos from 0 - 10ish or so were thrown away by accident when I moved 5 years ago. A whole box of albums and pictures, meaning I have about 2 baby photos of dd, and no more (my mother has a load but as we don't speak she won't let me have any). So I can't look at photos of dd - it's as if the whole thing is in my head.

I've never been clunky. No longing for a child. Had dc1 aged 40 and dc2 aged 43.

And NOW aged 45 I'm feeling pangs of regret and want to sniff babies heads and feel sad I won't have another baby. Dd2 is 21 months and a baby no more. I leant so very late that this motherhood lark is a blessing (not a curse as I'd been brought up to believe).

You never know what the next few years will bring Getorf

Oh that awful about the photos, I can't imagine. I almost lost DS's baby photos last year when stbXh got a virus on his computer. I was absolutely distraught. That's made me well up thinking at you've lost them all [hormonal twat emoticon]

stubborn I really hope it all works out for you both, and the cat

I was the first out of my friends to get married and the first to have a baby. Now I'm preparing to get divorced and 4 of my friends are getting married and planning families. They're all loved up and planning their futures and I'm over here all woe is me! Life's a twat.

I've been thinking about this quite a lot recently. My DS is 10 and I'm nearly 34. He goes to 'big' school in September and it seems to have triggered a bit of a mid-life crisis.

I always thought I'd have more children when I met mr right but no sign of him.

My friend often says I should have a baby (because she is broody) but I couldn't bring another baby up on my own.

I'm now thinking it is a strong possibility that I won't have more children and that brings totally mixed emotions. Sad because I would have loved to have gone through it all with a loving husband but excited at the idea of doing whatever I like when DS leaves home. I'm fancying moving to Australia for a year...DS can come too if he wants . Also on my list is moving back to London and continuing my wild partying days that were put on hold when I got pregnant with DS...does this sound like a mid-life crisis? Am I even old enough to be having one?

In my head, I am about 18 and when I have to think about what my actual age is, it makes me feel a bit odd. I'm just not old enough to be that age.

<trying to work out who Marmalade is...have already 'spoken' this weekend but brain turned to mush>

Oh no, the lost photos, how awful! We lost 4 months of DS3's digital photos and I am still livid with DH for it. I am not sure it is his fault, I am just angry with him .

I have never been broody in my life, my eldest will turn 10 in a couple of weeks and I can already imagine a hollow feeling in the pit in my stomach when they are ALL gone <<rents clothes and tears hair>>.
Having said that, I am currently planning a champagne reception for when DS4 goes off to school - only 2 1/2 years to wait .

There's no logic to how we feel about our offspring, and there does not need to be. You feel what you feel and you have every right to. I totally get what you mean about missing even the most twattish of exH/Ps btw, all of you. I may be mostly happily married, but I still 'miss' the nice things I had with the Bastard Who Broke My Heart before DH mended it again. It does happen, sometimes - if only there was a trick not to be waiting for it to happen though.

That's terrible about the photos . Would your mum give them to someone else - maybe if your ex asked she might give them to him hoping to piss you off?

ds1 has done some terrible things to me over the years. But the very worst day was the day I came home and found that he had destroyed all his "mementoes". I used to laminate stuff (photos, certs, pictures of first day at school, parties, programmes of things they were in, newspaper cuttings etc) and the laminated things were on the back of their doors and in boxes. The box also had his first shoe, his teeth, loads of stuff.

One day he took the lot and burnt it on a bonfire.

I cried for days. It was as if he destroyed his entire childhood .

Yikes at the photos. That is very sad.
I try to focus on the good bits of not having another, and just having our unit of 2. We have a proper laugh quite often, we go on real adventures together, and it's intense, but mostly really happy. We sit in the front of the car together, and it feels like we're a real team. I don't want to change that.

MaryZ I'm choked up just thinking of that.

Maryz - that actually makes me feel better about the fact that I have never been organised enough to have proper memory boxes/scrap books etc. I'd be gutted. Poor angry lad. Poor you.

Oh MaryZ that's horrible. My DS's memory box is the most precious thing I have. The way you cope with everything amazes me. You're such a strong person. I really hope your DS sees that one day.

Get Off why don't you just adopt me? I am young enough to pass off as your DD <shit stirrer> but old enough to look after myself when you're working at Spearmint Rhino, then on your days off we can go and punch cakes in Morrison's, whilst wearing purple glittery cock deeleyboppers.

Thank you GetOrf

I'm OK, I have two fabbo boys Oddly, the most recent mc has been the toughest of the lot. I think it's part of this mid-30s effect of the finiteness of time/choice etc. Everyone on here has put that far better than I could have.

Oh maryz that is so terribly sad. You must have been heartbroken.

My mother won't let me have the photos (she won't even give them to dd) - I remember starting a thread about the whole sorry subject a few years ago. I might go down and break in <joke>

Buppy I am working in central Birmingham for your eyes only 3 days a week now, I am going to dress as Carby Claire and come and hunt you down

Thanks again eberyone. Horizon that is a really cheery post - yes it is lovely having dd and I as a team of 2. And I can devote a load of attention to her, which has always been great. I should think of all the positives I already have, rather than aiming for a very sketchy dream.

One day she will be old and decrepit, and you can leave her in an OAP home and go and help yourself

GetOrf, you're a young 'un trust me. I had my first at 38 and am currently 40 and 36 weeks preggo with my second. Most of my friends have had their kids over 35. I guess we were too busy clubbing/too immature to settle down.

Don't write yourself off

I didn't know you had split with your husband, GetOrf. Sorry you are feeling like this. You really really never know, though. Life can change like lightening sometimes.

I really hope you get what you want.

I sympathise OP. I had DS at 33 and I'm now 40 and a single parent. When DS was between the ages of about 1 and 4, I was desperate for another child but as he got more independent and things got easier, that feeling abated and now I don't think I could face starting all over again. I've actually been a SP since day 1 and like you, I don't relish the idea of bringing up another child on my own. I'm not hugely bothered about meeting anyone either, plus I have a chronic health condition which means any pregnancy would be high risk (to me) so I think it's game over for me. I'm now resigned to the fact that I won't have any more kids.

On one hand I'm quite sad about that. I never wanted DS to be an only, it's just circumstances that have led to that being the case. On the other hand he's nearly 7, so is becoming more independent by the day, and, without wishing the years away, I'm already making vague plans for when he's off at uni or leaves home and I've got more freedom to travel, work more and actually go out after 6pm .

We're a little family, me, DS and our cat, and I like it that way.