what is the cut off point for giving money for neices/nephews

(37 Posts)
southeastastra Tue 24-Dec-13 23:22:43

i would usually give them a tenner or something but once they reach 18 isn't that a bit much? what would be a good time to stop, it's becoming a dilema now.

17leftfeet Tue 24-Dec-13 23:25:20

We stop at 18, after that if we are seeing them they get a token something, if we aren't seeing them they get nothing

tigerdriverII Tue 24-Dec-13 23:27:02

Just stop once and for all. DH has a huge family with several grand nieces/nephews and zillions of neices/ nephews. To be honest, too many to remember, so all are now adults, get a card, nothing else. And guess what, no one complains, least of all us who don't want anymore stuff for DS.

SuckItAndSee Tue 24-Dec-13 23:27:51

i am still giving to my 19yo nephew, and begruding it, as the ingrate never even so much as sends me a facebook message to confirm receipt of the cold, hard cash.
however i would feel mean if I stopped, and carried on giving to his 17yo sister confused

tigerdriverII Tue 24-Dec-13 23:28:30

We throw a huge party for them 1x year and tell the, (honestly but with relief) that their presence is worth more than their presents.

NoComet Tue 24-Dec-13 23:30:02

18 or 21, dependent on how close you are.

I think I gave my brides maid confusion a fiver or a little something all through university.

VoldemortsNipple Tue 24-Dec-13 23:42:51

In dhs family, we stopped at 18. However all 3 nieces had babies by that age so couldn't complain as we buy for their dcs. We are the only ones who have dcs under 18 now from our generation. Sil buys them shite so my dcs wouldn't care if she decided to stop buying before 18.

Generally I would say until they are earning their own money.

Mishmashofstyles Wed 25-Dec-13 00:00:30

I'm nearly forty and my aunts still buy me gifts! Nice ones! And for my kids too.

usualsuspect Wed 25-Dec-13 00:01:47

I still buy my grown up niece a present.

In our family the adults all agreed to stop giving when kids turned 18, but then ended up staying on till 21 since we were all poor students, then it was 'well, you haven't got a proper job yet, so...'

I am 27 and still get money from some of my relatives. confused I certainly don't expect it though.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Wed 25-Dec-13 02:37:07

I don't know! My mum was an only child & my dad had one brother who he never ever saw & didn't get on with fconfused. Therefore, I have no experience of Auntie/Uncle gifts. My godmother still buys me something though (I am 38).

My eldest neice is 23 & we buy for her. She is the only adult neice or nephew that either myself or DH has though - along with four under 10. It would seem wrong to buy for the little ones & not the older one at the moment.

I imagine I could change my mind if either of us had a large family though!

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Wed 25-Dec-13 02:38:09

Sorry for the blatant overuse of the word "though" fblush.

80sMum Wed 25-Dec-13 02:39:24

We stop at 18 for nieces, nephews and friends' children.
The only over-18s I give presents/money to are DS and DD and their spouses, my DM, DMil and goddaughter.

If you don't have a cut-off point, things can get insanely expensive.

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 25-Dec-13 08:38:33

21 for us.
My nieces are working and live at home. They have much more dispoible income than I do. I can't bring myself to hand over £20 when they've just spent £50 odd on their hair/ nails/ eyelashes and I'm scrabbling around or £20 to go to super cuts. <mean auntie>

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 25-Dec-13 08:44:17

I think I would be more generous if I hadn't had my own DCs?

feelinlucky Wed 25-Dec-13 08:46:26

I'm 43 and my auntie gave me £60 in a card and she stills sends me at Easter ��

BikeRunSki Wed 25-Dec-13 08:52:19


Although if any of those who are not yet 18 leave school earlier and get a job, I will stop them. Anyone working, living at home and not paying childcare will have more disposable income than me!

BikeRunSki Wed 25-Dec-13 08:53:41

I am not sure my uncles and aunts have ever given me a birthday or Christmas present, child or adult, apart from a cheque on my 18 from one uncle/aunt.

LucyLasticKnickers Wed 25-Dec-13 09:19:31

tis difficult when they are differing ages.
i spose when the youngest is 18?

but i have got them token gifts, socks and smellies.

LucyLasticKnickers Wed 25-Dec-13 09:20:41

although the nieces somehow dont spend on us!

MirandaWest Wed 25-Dec-13 09:23:50

I still get a Christmas present from one of my aunts and I'm 38. The other one used to give up until a few years ago and then they told my sister and me that they were stopping (this included presents for my DC). Not sure why - maybe me being 35 was the important moment grin

chanie44 Wed 25-Dec-13 10:11:04

I'm in my 30s and my aunt still gives me a present (money). Although last year, instead of giving money to me, she said it was for the children. Which is fine.

I'm close to my nieces and nephews, so I think I will always give them something even just a token present, but OH and I only have 6 between us (so far) so isn't a great hardship.

I think 18-21 is fine to stop, but I would make it clear as to the reasons and do so early, not on Xmas eve!!!!

FortyMerryFuckers Wed 25-Dec-13 10:15:26

I am 28 and still get properpresents from aunts and I have my own DS

NoComet Thu 26-Dec-13 01:00:52

My aunt's still send presents, sensible aunt, Some very nice chocolates and £25 each for the DDs (which is lovely of her, as I have never sent her a present, only my cousins as her DD was my flower girl)

Daft aunt 4 strange hats, two very. very itchy. Her presents are always very odd, always have been, Hats, scarves, bags no one would ever wear. Jigsaw that don't fit obviously from craft stalls.

DM has had over 50 years of odd gifts and tried to get them to give up, but no, they still keep coming.

Floralnomad Thu 26-Dec-13 01:12:30

No stopping point in our family ,but I think if they're working they should be reciprocating with at least a token gift and if they don't do that then its fair enough to stop buying for them .

thegreylady Thu 26-Dec-13 08:36:13

We never stop until they have dc then presents go to dc instead.

TheNightIsDark Thu 26-Dec-13 08:39:06

I still get money from my aunts despite being 25 with my own children.

Lucylouby Thu 26-Dec-13 22:34:56

I get a present from my aunt, but have told her (nicely) she should just spend the money on my dc, but we are a small family and if she wasn't buying for us, she wouldn't have many presents to buy and she thinks that would be a bit sad.
A close friend has 3 dc, eldest now 20. Last year I told her it would be her last present (we give them all cash). DH kicked off about it saying we couldn't give to only two of them, but I stuck to it and she didn't mind at all. She earns far more than I do, has limited outgoings, and spent £500 on a handbag in the summer. I can only dream of saving that amount of money to spend on something as frivolous as a new bag!

Mellowandfruitful Thu 26-Dec-13 22:40:20

I do presents / vouchers till 18 then all family households get a box of chocolates or biscuits to share.

GhettoPrincess001 Thu 26-Dec-13 22:53:37

I have no idea when to stop sending my Niece and Nephew presents. The fact that they have never sent me either a birthday or Christmas present is a moot point. For the record I was not expecting them to spend their birthday money on me.

They've only been strong armed into the cards by their mother (my sister).

I'll send my nephew a 21st birthday card next year, but no present. My niece will get a cheque as it's her 18th birthday and I gave the same to her brother when he turned 18.

After that, it's cards only from me. I feel bad that my niece will miss out on two years worth of birthday presents. The alternative being that I send her birthday presents for a couple more years. Then my nephew doesn't get anything. However, as I've decided that he's at his birthday present cut off point, maybe it won't matter.

GhettoPrincess001 Thu 26-Dec-13 22:55:32

For birthday money, I meant to type, 'pocket money'.

Oh, for the last couple of years I've sent a food hamper as a family gift to be shared by them.

GhettoPrincess001 Thu 26-Dec-13 22:56:33

Christmas Hamper of food.

hallowisitmeyourelookingfor Fri 27-Dec-13 00:35:29

I still give to my nieces and nephews, 2 are 22! They are still my nieces and nephews however old they are. They both earn a good wage, more than me (SAHM), but we are all a close family and I like buying for them. Between DP and I, we have 15 n&ns and buy for all of them. Won't ever stop I don't imagine.
I am 29 and only have one aunt that buys for me (have 7!) but I can't remember if the others ever did even when I was small.

Breezy1985 Fri 27-Dec-13 00:50:28

I'm 28 and my aunt still buys for me, and my dc. We are close though and she never had children of our own and she says she likes to spoil us. I buy for her too.

I've got 3 n & n, they are little still but I can't imagine not buying them a gift at Christmas even when they are adults.

mumeeee Fri 27-Dec-13 00:57:38

We stop at 21 here.

GreenShadow Fri 27-Dec-13 22:16:20

Mixed examples here.

My Uncle who is late 70s (I'm 52) still gives us a cheque at Christmas and birthdays and also gives money to my DC. He has no other immediate family, so perhaps it's not so surprising.

My family have recently discussed this as our DS1 is now 21 and so my Dsis has decided that that will be the cut-off which I think is quite fair enough.

mumeeee Sat 28-Dec-13 11:50:26

We still buy for our own children and DD1's DH just not for nephew and nieces after 21

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