Oh Yes! Tis the Mumsnet Nativity Thread!

(54 Posts)

Come on then, how would we have rocked the Nativity had Mary been a Mumsnetter?

CheerMum Sat 01-Dec-12 17:15:57

Well, I'm sure M&J would have asked the innkeeper if he had meant to sound so rude, though he would have replied that "No" is a complete sentence grin

Mary would've already had the accommodation sorted, after asking on holidays topic where was best to stay.

AIBU not to have three wise men/kings and a heavenly host in the stable just after giving birth?

cornycarrotshack Sat 01-Dec-12 17:44:52

Mary Joseph and baby Jesus would all be co-sleeping in the straw
Joseph would have sent the shepherds and the kings away so that Mary could have her baby moon

GroupieGirl Sat 01-Dec-12 17:54:23

AIBU to not be completely sure who the father of my baby is? Also, I keep hearing angels...could this be ante-natal depression??

dearprudence Sat 01-Dec-12 18:02:03

Mary would be straight on the Christmas threads asking 'what Father Christmas presents are you getting your zero-year old?'.

Firsttimemum2012 Sat 01-Dec-12 18:17:34

Mary would have asked "am I being unreasonable to think that gold, frankincense and myrrh are unsuitable presents to bring for a newborn?"

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Sat 01-Dec-12 18:20:42

AIBU to think it is unhygenic to bring cattle and sheep to see my newborn baby?

RealAleandOpenFires Sat 01-Dec-12 18:23:41

Mary would ask:- "AIBU not to let Joseph out down to the pub to wet the baby's head with the 3 Wise men and Shepherds".

XBenedict Sat 01-Dec-12 18:28:08

"Am I in labour?" birth thread.

I have come away for a weekend with my husband before our PFB is born and I think I might be in labour.

AIBU to think DH should have booked a room before we set off?

SkiBumMum Sat 01-Dec-12 18:30:47

Mary would be asking AIBU to want to tell the teacher a King's helper is not an appropriate character for her beautiful, intelligent PFB especially when all it involves is cleaning the King's shoes

MikeOxard Sat 01-Dec-12 18:32:23

In the chat topic 'I know every mum says this, but I think my baby is the most special baby ever'.

In WWYD 'inn keeper has offered us the stable instead of a room, do we pay? Also, to avoid drip feeding, I have just given birth in the stable and am using the manger as a bed'.

Kirstoll Sat 01-Dec-12 18:45:03

Aaaaaaaargh , fantastic thread but I just can't work out what AIBU is?? Sorry for novice question blush

RealAleandOpenFires Sat 01-Dec-12 18:47:28

The Baby's Father want to have a christening, but I'm atheist WWYD?

PurplePidjChickIsNotTheMessiah Sat 01-Dec-12 18:47:31

AIBU to want the fecking massive star over my head to do one? It's keeping the baby awake angry

Relationships: What do i do, I think the King is trying to kill my baby! Does anyone have the number for Women's Aid in Bethlehem?

Baby names: What do we think of... Jesus? DH doesn't like it, and wants the baby to have his name, but I'm not sure it's his baby so that would be hypocritical!

PurplePidjChickIsNotTheMessiah Sat 01-Dec-12 18:49:31

RealAle, don't you mean "the baby's father wants him circumcised but, as the founder of an entire new religion i think he should start his own traditions" wink

AIBU = Am I Being Unreasonable

RealAleandOpenFires Sat 01-Dec-12 18:51:41

Krist AIBU is short for "Am I being Unreasonable"

larger selection www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms. I hope that helps. smile

Allalonenow Sat 01-Dec-12 18:55:17

The Bethlehem Live Birth thread with choirs of angels and shining stars would have had a huge following.

Pickles77 Sat 01-Dec-12 19:00:58

This is fab smile

JethroTull Sat 01-Dec-12 19:01:14

Mary would have posted in Conception at some point - I think I might be pregnant but it's impossible surely? I've never even slept with Joseph.

Pickles77 Sat 01-Dec-12 19:03:54

AIBU to have an argument in the inns carpark when a lone adult parked in p&c space when i clearly needed to park my donkey there?

Allalonenow Sat 01-Dec-12 19:14:31

The Angel Gabriel could be seen as a early version of Face Book, spreading the news far and wide.
Mary would have posted "My Mum is annoyed that the shepherds saw the baby before she did"

RealAleandOpenFires Sat 01-Dec-12 19:33:54

In Relationships:- My DM has insisted that me and the baby should wear hand-me-downs (she has for some reason, kept my old baby clothes & is trying to foist her old post baby clothes on to me). I was going to buy new stuff from Markus et Spencus, Bodunus et al.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Sat 01-Dec-12 19:36:25

Is my baby gifted? He keeps turning his water to wine! Is this normal behaviour?

dementedma Sat 01-Dec-12 22:49:10

MIL says our pfb looks nothing like DH? Wtf is she trying to imply?

RobinDude Sat 01-Dec-12 22:54:23

AIBU to think that my tight arse DH could have called a taxi?

I have to travel to Bethlehem to give birth to my PFB and he's making me travel on a donkey! It's taking forever and I think that I'm in labour, FFS!

Molehillmountain Sun 02-Dec-12 20:50:40

Love it, love it, love it grin

dementedma Sun 02-Dec-12 20:56:40

AIBU to tell DH to sod off? If he thinks I am getting back on this bloody donkey with the state my fanjo is in, he can think again!

whattodoo Sun 02-Dec-12 21:00:07

Will someone switch off that blimmin' "little donkey" song, i'm trying to give birth here.

RobinsBaubleSparkles Sun 02-Dec-12 21:48:03

AIBU to not want so many visitors after I've given birth?
So far three wise men rocked up, on their camels and a truck load of shepherds have arrived with all of their sheep confused.

I'm fed up. The stable is full of animals and there just isn't enough room for us all. The Angels have turned up too and their singing is giving me a headache, my stitches are killing me and all I want to do is snuggle up with my newborn DS.

These shepherds are weird. They just stand there gawping at my baby - at least the wise dudes were kind enough to bring gifts!

Flatasawitchestit Sun 02-Dec-12 21:53:56

The fact that Joseph made her ride in on a donkey, giving her saddle sore just before giving birth and what not would ring out cries of leave the bastard

RealAleandOpenFires Mon 03-Dec-12 01:11:55

Mary on FB:- I opened my "Welcome pack" expecting nappies etc and what do I find...? two sodding glow-in-the-dark halos!.

Allalonenow Mon 03-Dec-12 04:57:55

In Baby Names:
Help me name the Son of God!
Hubby and I are having a bit of a tussle over names for our pfb, so we need some help.
I like Emmanuel, but would he get bullied as it is a bit pretentious?
Jesus is nice, but maybe a bit meh, it's not a High Court Judge name really, though alright if you are going to deliver groceries for a living.

I've always liked John, but now a relative has used that.<cat's bum mouth>

Joseph wanted Beelzebub confused but I've vetoed that one.

beanandspud Mon 03-Dec-12 08:49:34

I know it's a bit early but does anyone know where I would find the ofsted ratings for 'Bethlehem Schools'? Not sure if my stable is in the catchment for the school I want.

AIBU to expect to give birth somewhere better than a stable?! My son's father created the world so you'd think he would build something suitable!

RobinsBaubleSparkles Mon 03-Dec-12 08:54:59

Allalonenow I think that Jesus would be lovely but how is it pronounced?

Is it like Geezus or is it Hayzoo or what? I think children would struggle with Jesus and I think he would be in for a lifetime of being mistakenly called "Baby Cheeses", TBH.

Allalonenow Mon 03-Dec-12 10:29:57

RobinsBaubleSparkles
I see what you mean RBS, I don't much like the sound of Baby Cheeses.
I would say it "Geezuu", I think that would be fine.

Actually, before we left Nazareth my DM was really having a mega strop just because I said I wouldn't be using Joachim after my DD. She was standing there T-rexing, to annoy me, so I was glad to get away TBH.

JugglingWithPossibilities Mon 03-Dec-12 10:44:00

AIBU to think that Bethlehem is the most un-friendly place in the world ?
I'm in labour FFS and no-one will even give us a room for the night
WWYD ?

celebmum Mon 03-Dec-12 11:52:12

If the 3wise men were women they'd have brought useful gifts.... Myrrh?! WTF?

RabidCarrot Mon 03-Dec-12 12:08:05

AIBU not to want to travel to my husbands place of birth just before my due date?

SledYuleCated Mon 03-Dec-12 12:14:42

In Christmas: 'What is this Christmas of which you speak?'

SnowyBeardySantaman Mon 03-Dec-12 12:18:46

Some bastard's parked his chariot in the only p&c space at the inn and I can't see a carseat in it!

WIBU to put donkey shit on his reins?

dementedma Mon 03-Dec-12 13:05:47

aargh, my pfb has touched that bloody lamb that the snotty nosed little boy with the drum brought in! Disease! Germs! I need antispetic wipes quickly

AIBU to think that the neighbours take the piss?

They live in a stable ffs. All this "my son is the son of God" rubbish, people turning up at all hours waking me up, and a bloody star above their house blinding all and sundry. I wouldn't mind but I've heard rumors that the her hubby isn't even the father shock

What a chav!

I wouldn't mind, but my ds is just as perfect and he hasn't got some bloody star.

In Good Housekeeping. Advice needed re drafty windows. Frosty wind is making moan day and night in our barnyard-themed hotel. Any ideas?

In Relationships. Help me choose a lovely new baby gift on a budget. I was thinking of a cuddly toy but the shepherds brought a lamb, and the Wise Men totally blew all the competition out of the water with their Neal's Yard Newborn smellies and a HUGE money gift. What can I give him, poor as I am?

RabidCarrot Mon 03-Dec-12 16:26:32

Baby Names: My SIL has stolen "my" name and called her son Jesus I have been saving that name, #really cross

CelticPromise Mon 03-Dec-12 17:21:55

AIBU to think that the census should be done online in this day and age? I am nine months pregnant and in no fit state to ride a donkey. If I ring them and explain I'm due any day with the Saviour of the World do you think they'll let me off?

FfelicitysEyewateringBaubles Mon 03-Dec-12 18:47:35

Mary would be posting a rant about the wise men parking their camels in the Mother and Son of God donkey spaces.

Firsttimemum2012 Tue 04-Dec-12 20:39:44

In Sleep - any sleeping tips for my newborn? He is frequently woken by lowing cattle - though he doesn't cry - but some tips on sleeping would be very useful.

openerofjars Tue 04-Dec-12 20:49:12

In the babies section:

I was thinking of going with real nappies and swaddling bands, what do you reckon? I heard babies like to be swaddled but i also really like the look of gro-bags.

I'm not sure about this manger business though: I was going to co-sleep for a few weeks to get bf really established.

JugglingWithPossibilities Tue 04-Dec-12 22:20:43

In Babies - My newborn son is wonderful. He sleeps so well even with all the visitors we've been having, and this strange bright star overhead. And he seems such a good baby. But I'm worried that he never cries, so am not really sure when to feed him. Has anyone else experienced this ? WWYD ?

Mum2Luke Thu 06-Dec-12 16:14:13

'I think we'll have to make do with the stable Mary as A and E is chocca tonight, the local Travel lodge is fully booked with Roman soldiers and the pub doesn't allow children and babies'

'Mary, go on TripAdvisor and see if anyone else will take us in the Bethlehem area, just hope the midwife has a horse!! Have only a few shekels left to book online.

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