Please help my sad dd(6) not look 'silly' in her school play

(72 Posts)
ProphetOfDoom Fri 23-Nov-12 21:21:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbecuedBillygoats Fri 23-Nov-12 21:23:29

Elves are cool
They're much cleverer than fairies and they're nicer too
They even have their own language

BarbecuedBillygoats Fri 23-Nov-12 21:25:09

Sorry was just googling cicely barker. Elves can still have lovely shimmery wings and flowers in their hair

brumblebee Fri 23-Nov-12 21:25:50

Could she have some sparkle too? Sparkly tights and coloured glitter in hair perhaps.

Virgil Fri 23-Nov-12 21:27:10

Go mad with a glitter pen on her bright top and tights. Plus glitter her hair with glitter spray. That stuff says in for days so if you spry her in he morning there will be no chance of it ong out before the play.

Sparkly nail polish?

Snazzyfeelingfestive Fri 23-Nov-12 21:27:15

I also think that elves are cool and just as cool as fairies, but I can see how this won't cut much ice if every other girl is a fairy. I dislike the 'girls must be girly' imperative intensely, but I think I would be asking questions in this instance about why only one girl of all of them is being made an elf, because in that case, it's singling out one child to be different. Not on.

IMO I would go into school on Monday, get the story, and if this is really what's happened, tell the teacher you don't think it's helpful for your daughter to be made to feel like the odd one out, and you would like her to be a fairy too. Why would a fairy have to have long hair anyway?

Virgil Fri 23-Nov-12 21:27:54

Sorry for typos!

Tell her you have to be pretty and clever to be an elf and half pretty vacuous (is that the right word) can be a fairy!

The best green sparkly tights, little felt elf shoes in bright red and a fitted t shirt with a little felt collar same colour as tights. Felt hat with the biggest rainbow coloured Pom Pom on the end that you can make, she will be the elf that rocks next to all those dumbarse fairies!

picnicbasketcase Fri 23-Nov-12 21:28:47

If she has been excluded from all the 'girly' roles because she has short hair, I think I'd have to say something. Not on.

picnicbasketcase Fri 23-Nov-12 21:30:12

Xposts and said almost exactly the same as other people! You can definitely make her look the most fab elf ever but she still shouldn't have only been given that role because she has short hair.

squeezedatbothends Fri 23-Nov-12 21:31:02

Show her a little clip of Liv Tyler in Lord of The Rings and explain she's an elf too...and yes, getting her glittery red and green outfit accessories will be lovely too! Teachers can be really insensitive about this sometimes. When my little boy was in reception class he desperately wanted to be an angel. 'Don't be silly,' said his teacher, 'angels are girls.' His name is Gabriel!!! I had to bite long and hard on my tongue that year!

derbyshiregirl Fri 23-Nov-12 21:32:11

This thread is bringing back horrible memories for me of being a 8 yr old girl at a convent school and being the only blonde girl who wasn't allowed to be an angel in the nativity because I wore glasses

Uppermid Fri 23-Nov-12 21:32:24

Glitter, glitter, glitter

RightUpMyRue Fri 23-Nov-12 21:33:10

Isn't Tinkerbell an elf? She looks more like an elf than she does a fairy. Is DD into Disney at all? Might be worth watching Peter Pan.

Fairies are wimpy and have nothing to do with Christmas too whereas elves are very Christmassy and magical and pretty.

ProphetOfDoom Fri 23-Nov-12 21:33:19

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BarbecuedBillygoats Fri 23-Nov-12 21:34:12

grin angels are girls hahaha

BarbecuedBillygoats Fri 23-Nov-12 21:37:44

What do nettle and lizzy look like in Ben and holly. I can't remember

I would go for glittery tights, shorts, top with wings and flowers in the hair

And I would have a word

BarbecuedBillygoats Fri 23-Nov-12 21:40:50

According to cicely barker (flower fairies) the wings are no different
I think you can do what you want. Would anyone dare argue

FannyBazaar Fri 23-Nov-12 21:43:35

Bells. Elves have bells on their shoes and hats don't they? And maybe some more bells too...

BarbecuedBillygoats Fri 23-Nov-12 21:43:42

According to cicely barker (flower fairies) the wings are no different
I think you can do what you want. Would anyone dare argue

ProphetOfDoom Fri 23-Nov-12 21:44:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Do Elves not have wings too?

ProphetOfDoom Fri 23-Nov-12 21:48:02

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LostSeasonings Fri 23-Nov-12 21:51:14

You can make her a hat from a couple of bits of felt really easily.

You can get plain bright t-shirts from ebay. You can get glitter gel to put on her skin too smile

Cahooots Fri 23-Nov-12 21:53:03

More this less this

Basically go for elf that looks a LOT like a fairy. grin

Cahooots Fri 23-Nov-12 21:53:29

More this less this

Basically go for elf that looks a LOT like a fairy. grin

Marzipanface Fri 23-Nov-12 21:56:15
Marzipanface Fri 23-Nov-12 21:57:11

Oops just seen Cahoots has posted the same costume!

MsElleTow Fri 23-Nov-12 21:57:41

DS1 was an elf once, I bought an elf suit from the local fancy dress shop. You might find one if you search on line. It might give you some ideas for your DD's costume.

There are two parts to this really, first being the 'all the girls are angels' and second being 'not wanting to be an elf' . I would doubt very much that in a class of 30, with say 15 girls, 1 is mary, 1 is an elf and 13 are angels. Where are all the donkeys, kings, stars, shepherds, joseph etc? So, if its just that 'all my friends are angels' we need to get some elf positivity going.

TheBolter Fri 23-Nov-12 22:03:50

Oh bless. My 7 yr old dd came home this evening upset that she is going to be a boring old narrator this year. She wants to be a shepherd or a king like the last two years - it's esp bad as her best friend is going to be a shepherd. She loves dressing up and she sees this as an opportunity for her to 'get into part' again. I've suggested that we get her a lovely smart shirt or something to dress up in as the narrators have ben asked to wear 'smart clothes' but it doesn't cut it somehow - not enough drama for her! I also tried to explain that it's because she's 'such a good reader' (she along with all the other narrators seem to be the top group of pupils) but again she ain't interested in that. Ah well.

ProphetOfDoom Fri 23-Nov-12 22:12:20

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steppemum Fri 23-Nov-12 22:15:03

Do you have to have costume by Monday?

If not I would hold fire and go in and find out what the play is about, who is being what. You may find she is one of a group (no-one else is an elf may mean none of my friends are) and check out the costume limits. She may not be allowed wings, so don't promise them yet!

Bolter, my dd was really upset about being a narrator. She is reception and it has taken me over a week to find out what the problem was, turns out she wanted a COSTUME, so we went in and asked and narrators are going to have acostume too (princess dresses were mentioned) she wants to be an angel, so I am dropping hints about purple sparkly angels (she has a purple sparkly princess dress!)

ProphetOfDoom Fri 23-Nov-12 22:16:34

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ProphetOfDoom Fri 23-Nov-12 22:18:35

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latenightmum Fri 23-Nov-12 22:25:24

Show her the Schleich elves and suggest picking one to model her outfit on then if she chooses the colour, t-shirt, tights - Maybe ask the school if she could decorate it herself to make her happier or make the sleeves look ragged with jewels/ sew on flowers to pretty it up.

Is she allowed a pretty glittery hairband she could personalise on the day. Check if she gets wings or if you could make/ supply some.

Could she take in an elf girl toy or photo of such to show her friends how excited she is?

NiceOneCenturion Fri 23-Nov-12 22:30:56

When I was a kid I had to be Peter Pan, I wore a long green t-shirt with zig zags cut out round the hem and the sleeves, with leggings and a sparkly belt, so it had the feel of a dress.Maybe that could work for an elf if you have to have a plain t-shirt?

I remember being dubious about being 'Peter' at first but loved it in the end. I definitely think it's the right attitude to try and get her to embrace it. I'm sure she'll make a great elf.

This thread brings back memories of all the years I hoped for tinsel and ended up with tea towel. Sigh. I could have been somebody Mary

ChippingInLovesAutumn Fri 23-Nov-12 22:31:01

I would go and talk to the teacher first - it's not nice to feel left out and different to the others at that age.

latenightmum Fri 23-Nov-12 22:44:58

Next, H&M, M&S & Zara is where I'd head but its hard to find reasonable options.

I would check with the school what the additional bits of the costumes are so there are no surprises for her ie: no wings but her friends get wings etc.

You could personalise this hat with ribbons threaded through, lose the bobble & sew on flowers with colours that match the t-shirt

latenightmum Fri 23-Nov-12 22:47:33

maybe you could organise a tea with some close friends to play elf fairy dress up

MrsMushroom Fri 23-Nov-12 22:52:32

Last year my DD was the ONLY girl to be a Shepard all the others were angels. She was NOT happy and she was only 4!

I sucked it up and so did she but I thought it was shit really.

latenightmum Fri 23-Nov-12 22:55:02

Or could a reasonable version of this be about?

latenightmum Fri 23-Nov-12 22:55:27
MarianForrester Fri 23-Nov-12 23:01:25

What about a pair of those sparkly leggings that are super trendy? River island girls, maybe? And a long tunic style top? Black hat? Then she can be style queen elf, but still girly?

Devora Fri 23-Nov-12 23:08:46

Teachers really need to be more sensitive about these things than they sometimes are.

My dd (Y2) is enormously tall. So what was her part in last year's christmas play? A giraffe. What is her part in this year's christmas play? The Mum. I foresee another decade of 'tall' parts for her.

Who gets the lead role? The girl with long blonde hair, of course. Lovely kid, but took me straight back to my childhood, when it was ALWAYS the girl with long blonde hair [oppressed ginger emoticon]

Snazzyfeelingfestive Sat 24-Nov-12 00:08:11

That's why I don't think sucking it up is the way to go. It allows the teacher to think allocating parts based on appearance and singling one child out as a result is ok. Get them to suck up inevitable random disadvantages as part of life, yes, absolutely. But I don't think this, if correctly understood, is one of those situations. It's a poor decision that's needlessly making a child feel out of place. I would speak to the teacher and want a better explanation.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 24-Nov-12 09:32:43

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You should all think yourselves lucky.

My dd is a sheep this year hmm

Obviously the best fucking sheep that ever graced a stage though grin

loubielou31 Sat 24-Nov-12 10:08:22

Is she a speaking elf? It may be that she has a speaking part and that is why she is an elf. The other girls may just be singing and that is why they are not elves?

NoHank Sat 24-Nov-12 10:21:56

monkeyfacegrace My DS was offered the part of Joseph. He turned it down so he could be a sheep. We have bought him a little costume and he loves it so much he asks to sleep in it grin

MiniMousse Sat 24-Nov-12 10:30:23

you could make a no sew tutu in green and red tulle. Instructions here

Bonbonchance Sat 24-Nov-12 11:44:32

Maybe being an elf is actually a better part? One elf (with lines/special things to do) rather than one of the many generic angels? When I've been casting nursery & school shows, the angels weren't always the good parts, more confident outgoing children tended to be innkeepers & things which might not have seemed so good at first, but the children usually realised later on that they had something good!

I wouldn't make a child do something they were unhappy with, and looks don't really come into it much (but if your daughter looks like a cute little elf then that's ideal!) but maybe she's actually got a great part and will get over not being an angel when she finds out what she's actually doing? Watch the Elf film for ideas! Def have a great glittery costume, felt/fleece is really easy to work with & sew - no hemming - I made a costume out of a Primark fleece blanket (£3!) I'm sure Ikea have red ones if Primark don't.

And I had some rather disgruntled children cast as donkeys one year - but they stole the show and they were quite happy in the end! Nobody mentioned the angels grin

cashmere Sat 24-Nov-12 12:14:23

I'd go with a plain green Tshirt, green hat, red and green tutu (using that link above) and red or green sparkly tights.
Do elves have bells on their shoes?

ProphetOfDoom Sat 24-Nov-12 13:45:09

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ProphetOfDoom Sat 24-Nov-12 13:54:20

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deXavia Sat 24-Nov-12 13:58:37

I just want to show your DD Arthur Christmas - such cool elfs. And they had gadgets! Make the costume as cool as can be and embrace her inner elfness grin

NoHank Sat 24-Nov-12 14:44:55

Yes, I was thinking that too. It seems strange that there is only one elf unless that elf has a specific part to play. So it is a compliment rather than a snub?

Your costume idea sounds lovely btw

Wingdingdong Sat 24-Nov-12 19:39:03

H&M definitely have sparkly tights, think but not sure they had them in red (a few colours!) - also had plenty of other sparkly bits and bobs. I would think an elf would need a bit of magical sparkle dust on her face and probably a couple of stick-on stars and things too?

If you think she needs to stand out a bit more you could always buy a set of cheap battery fairy elf lights from B&Q and stitch them into a top/waistband. Well, if the costume directions said "bright"... And if your DD is going to be different, she may as well be very different!

Wingdingdong Sat 24-Nov-12 19:47:00

Depending on how much you're willing to spend on the costume (or whether your DD would wear afterwards) H&M also had some amazing red glittery shoes for £8 that I'd definitely have loved when I was 6.

I saw them in the shop and thought Dorothy inWizard of Oz but now I can see that they're clearly elf shoes!

UniS Sat 24-Nov-12 19:51:57

Make sure the T-shirt is long enough to cover her bum even when its been belted into a tunic.

pigleychez Sat 24-Nov-12 20:26:54

Those shoes are DEFINATELY elf shoes!! smile

Perfect with a matching red sparkly belt! and some sparkly tights.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 24-Nov-12 20:28:27

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LaCiccolina Sat 24-Nov-12 20:31:38

Elves carry a pretty glittery stick too with a lamp on the end, or anything u feel necessary. Bling her up!!!

pigleychez Sat 24-Nov-12 20:31:53

H&M have a selection of coloured sparkly tights

H&M are also good for bright coloured basic tshirts.

5madthings Sat 24-Nov-12 20:32:59

h&m had red sparkly tights yesterday!

if it makes you feel better ds2 is an i pod in his xmas production this year!

Floggingmolly Sat 24-Nov-12 20:42:33

Are you sure she doesn't have lines? It sounds to me that she has a specific role, and the angels are just the backing chorus, basically.
It might be a far bigger part than she thinks!

Cahooots Sat 24-Nov-12 21:50:26
issyocean Sat 24-Nov-12 22:11:52

Lot's of fab Elf like things here

SuePurblybiltbyElves Sat 24-Nov-12 22:12:20

She will be a very cool elf, whilst I bet that 99% of the fairies (why?) will be in polyester pink horrors from the supermarket.
MUA at Superdrug is supercheap, as is Barry M, and both have loads of glitter make up and nail varnish. I think go to town with it.

OohMrDarcy Sat 24-Nov-12 22:24:10

My DD is an alien this year confused grin

Luckily so are the whole class as far as I can tell....

Their part appears to be dancing to take that's Kidz - random

rockinhippy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:49:15

Aww, bless her, I too would be having a chat with the teacher, I doubt she's intended her to be so upset, I expect she thinks your DD I'd happy with her part, but if you think it's best to make the best of a bad job, I can understand that too, so I would suggest you need a forest elf costume

Forest Elf

Look at the one on the fourth row down, to the left, all greens and golds and pretty - this will make her the belle of the show smile

You need a long sleeve white top - tie dye with bright grass green & decorate with gold glitter paint so it's like the picture

Then layer up gold & green net or tulle & organzan to make a tutu - attach this to the hem of the top to make a dress - add a few similar ruffles to the ends of the cuffs .- use fabric glue to decorate with green & gold sequins - leaf &'flower shapes would be great - go mad with the sequins & glitter ;) gold ribbon in a bow around her waist & tie a couple of strips as steamers around her wrists

Make a pair of leaf shaped fairy wings in green or gold organza, with net & iron on fusing to stiffen keep them joined at the center - use gold on green or green on gold fabric pen/paint to draw in the leaf veins onto the wings - stitch onto the back of the dress between the shoulder blades - if floppy slot a bit of garden wire through both of the wings - again lots of glitter & sparlles smile

Gold sparkly tights,

Gold/green Flowers & leaves stuck onto a head band to make a garland for her hair

Maybe green felt pixie shaped Santa socks with no bottoms to them, attached to her shoes with double sided tape

Good luck - if you get stuck on putting the outfit together, post over in arts & crafts, if I'm not around there's lots more good costume making help over there

rockinhippy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:54:34

Weird confused I just checked my link & the image I meant has moved way down the page, but the gold decor for the top is a bit medieval looking, with lots of gold scroll work

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