I am not sending Christmas cards for the first time this year

(76 Posts)

How do you tell people that you aren't when you don't see them? I have email addresses for some but not all.

SwedishEdith Sun 07-Oct-12 22:39:40

Wouldn't it be easier to just send a card? Are you meant to tell people you're not sending cards?

Well I want to make a donation to charity instead and do my bit for the environment. But if I send them all a letter saying I'm not sending cards that defeats the object.

I think it's time to stop Christmas cards.

ThisisaSignofthetimes Sun 07-Oct-12 22:46:50

No cards here either this year. For those that I have email addresses or tel no, they will get email or text telling them of charity donation and for those I haven't, to be honest are probably not close or I would have at least a tel no.

pictish Sun 07-Oct-12 22:50:22

Well done. It's a brave decision....I stopped sending them many years ago.

I think that's what I will do. It's not a bah humbug thing, I just don't see the point. I wish everyone would do it, I don't even put Christmas cards up. grin

pictish Sun 07-Oct-12 22:51:34

Nope - I don't either. Over the years I have got less cards all the time. It's great.

deleted203 Sun 07-Oct-12 22:52:01

I haven't sent them for years. Mostly because I'm not organised enough and can't be arsed. No one has ever complained.

ThisisaSignofthetimes Sun 07-Oct-12 22:55:12

No, don't put the cards up that I do receive, they just clutter the place up or fall down! There are better ways of keeping in contact these days.

Inneedofbrandy Sun 07-Oct-12 22:56:29

I love doing my christmas cards, and getting them. Your all humbugs!

dearprudence Sun 07-Oct-12 22:57:43

I mostly stopped a few years ago. I just figured that most people would never notice that they hadn't received a card from me, and I felt liberated.

TheMightyRubester Sun 07-Oct-12 22:58:04

I only send to people I don't see.

3duracellbunnies Sun 07-Oct-12 22:59:19

Each year I promise myself that I will do them, each year I only do a handful, I'm sure people think that I went green years ago!

I keep my received ones in a pile and put them in the recycling on Boxing Day.

Virgil Sun 07-Oct-12 23:06:43

We haven't sent any for the last two years and have also seen a massive reduction in the number we receive. If nothing else it saves a fortune in postage.

I am a positive CRUSADER for abolishing this complete nonsense.
Have not sent any cards at all for years. It is freeing and liberating and will make you happier.

(am also an old humbugger who throws any cards we get from HSBC or DFS straight into the bin; and any others go in the bin after I have shown them to DH)

Eeeek, and NO round robin letters EVER EVER EVER smile

halloweeneyqueeney Sun 07-Oct-12 23:11:54

I love getting and sending christmas cards! but I don't keep tabs on who hasn't so no need to explain

I am v excited now. What else can I do away with?

bluecarrot Sun 07-Oct-12 23:16:47

We are using up the last of our cards this year (including a note about donating to charity next year) and then we are stopping. Though DD makes a special ones for her grandparents and that will likely continue.

MarjorieAntrobus Sun 07-Oct-12 23:19:03

It is a complete nonsense, I agree.

I have DParents who think that recording the cards sent and received each year is a worthwhile use of their time so that they can send and receive the right cards the following year.

I can cut out cards easily, apart from the parental/elderly factor as shown above.


MarjorieAntrobus Sun 07-Oct-12 23:21:10

Oh, and I am the kind of person who puts most cards in the bin as they arrive unless they are v pretty or full of useful information.

I have never had a christmas card full of useful info. grin

YouMayLogOut Sun 07-Oct-12 23:23:16

I love Christmas cards! I'd much rather give up some other item or small treats of my own at another time of year, than someone else's Christmas card. It's the equivalent of giving someone a goat as a present - your forfeiting something (gift or card) that someone else would otherwise have received.

YouMayLogOut Sun 07-Oct-12 23:23:49

you're, not your!

Think of the trees though, and the fuel involved in delivering bits of cardboard.

lisaro Sun 07-Oct-12 23:30:50

I've never done it! Partly idle, partly because as a family we just don't and partly because its an offensive waste of money. I buy one big ish one to everybody at work saying please don't send me one, (sound like a miserable bag, think people realise I'm not) I don't send Christmas cards, so don't take offense and I either put £30 in an inoffensive charity (air ambulance, Macmillan) or the recommended charity we have going in work. I've never had any body say they were offended and indeed had lots of positive comments. And it's caught on.

MarjorieAntrobus Sun 07-Oct-12 23:41:29

Oh, Sparkling, yes, most cards just have a list of names in.

Occasional ones give you a complete catch-up of where an old friend is at. Those are worth hanging onto for a bit.

Some card have photos of people's children in. confused Or the card is a picture of the children.

SwedishEdith Sun 07-Oct-12 23:43:44

Think of the lost jobs if everyone stopped sending cards ever. I love xmas cards though but would appreciate a list of names of the miserable bastards who bin them immediately so that I could cross them off my list

I think the postman would be relieved TBH.

MarjorieAntrobus Sun 07-Oct-12 23:47:45

Me too, Sparkling. i think they will die out in the next few years.

Just because I choose to not send a bit of cardboard with a robin and glitter on or 'Keep Calm it's Christmas' on hmm doesn't mean I don't wish them a Merry Christmas though. I am sure they will realise that. grin

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Mon 08-Oct-12 07:15:45

DS' school has had the kids do this bloody "design-your-own-card-and-get-your-mum-to-fork-out-millions" crap so I have been suckered into buying 30 cards. And this is despite swearing blind that I would not be sending any this year.

PS DS's card is gorgeous, though grin Of course.

I remember those well All. One year i had to buy two lots because of the two DSs. They were the most expensive cards I have ever bought. grin

SageMist Mon 08-Oct-12 07:35:56

A thought for those that are considering emailing people to say that you are going to give to charity instead.
A guy a work did this once, to everyone in a big open plan office, several teams, some he worked with some he didn't. The general consensus was that he was really saying 'look at me, I'm so much nicer than you'.
Moral of story, be careful how you word the email!

YouMayLogOut Mon 08-Oct-12 10:07:44

If people want to do their bit for the environment, there are so many things to target ahead of Christmas cards, which spread goodwill to others, aren't there?

Why is it that so many people suddenly want to appear interested in saving trees and fuel at Christmas, yet all the rest of the year, they buy themselves cardboard-packed sandwiches and food products, out-of-season food from overseas, magazines/newspapers they could have read online, they don't ask people not to send them birthday cards, they buy non-essentials like wine (why not think of the enormous waste of glass, and the fuel miles, for a drink with no nutritional value?), they take the car to work instead of lift-sharing or using public transport, etc. etc.

It's ostentatious and worthy to announce you're making a charity donation. Why don't people give to charity quietly and privately, instead of using the no-cards thing as an opportunity to proclaim their own charitability? (And how charitable is it really, when it's money you would have otherwise spent anyway?)

Best to donate instead (without forfeiting someone else's Christmas card or announcing your donation) at another time of year when the charities aren't receiving everyone else's Christmas donations as well. Same goes for soup kitchens who don't need all these charitable-for-one-day types on Christmas Day/New Years Eve as everyone else wants to help on those days too - and then go back to normal life for another year.

Sparkling I do agree with you on cards featuring people's children. I'd like to celebrate Christmas, not other people's fecundity. Can't stand the Round Robin smug-fest either. But these are in no way essential aspects of card-sending.

PickledFanjoCat Mon 08-Oct-12 10:09:00

Sparkling when I did this the charity let you do e cards everyone else what about a text saying

Merry Christmas blah no card blah charity. Have a nice day. Blah.

PickledFanjoCat Mon 08-Oct-12 10:10:36

Because you may

1) I couldnt be bothered
2) other people send me cards
3) I don't want them to know i can't be bothered
4) it's the season for giving
5) a time for forgiving

I was going to mention the charity thing because I didn't want people to think I am a tight arse. grin I won't bother now if people will think I am ostentatious. confused

I do try to be aware all year round as well You which is why I am incorporating Christmas too this year.

I may just write 'blah' Pickled. grin

Completely agree with youmaylogout it probably makes me a Victor Meldrew type but when I get one of those emails I think
A. You are lying and won't give anything
B. you are smug and worthy

I would rather just not get a card, no email or explanation, lots of people don't send them anymore and it's quite understandable . First class stamp is 50p or something isn't it?

But I know that sparkling is a lovely poster so I feel a bit bad saying that.

pictish Mon 08-Oct-12 10:15:19

For me it's just the first point - which is that I can't be bothered. My family is huge. I have 43 first cousins. Plus all the other people I know that I am not related to.
It used to take me four full evenings to do all the cards.

And the amount I received? I had nowhere to put them!

One year I just thought - you know what? I cba.

That was a great Christmas.

Oh noooo. I am ostentatious and smug and worthy and buy prepacked sandwiches.

<goes off to buy 100 boxes of Christmas cards>

I am a 'miserable bastard' who bins cards.
And a Victor Meldrew
And I cant be bothered and I dont care who knows it.
I am not smug or worthy though, because I dont send charity emails either

Perhaps I should have a tee-shirt made that says

On the other hand, I make a REAL fuss about birthdays

ethelb Mon 08-Oct-12 10:29:58

I've just written my Christmas card list blush

PickledFanjoCat Mon 08-Oct-12 10:30:35

It's a bit against the seasonal spirit to say people are smug & worthy for giving card money to charity.

I think it's a great idea, me.

Massive grinchos.

ethelb Mon 08-Oct-12 10:33:17

Plus its quite hard to buy cards that aren't charity cards. I have bought mixed "own brand" cards and opened them up to discover the cards are charity cards and have the logo on the back.

Lottapianos Mon 08-Oct-12 10:35:15

'I'd like to celebrate Christmas, not other people's fecundity'

Love this grin

I haven't done cards for years. When work colleagues give me cards (Why? I see you every day hmm), I say thank you and wish them a happy Xmas and say that I don't do cards so don't think I've forgotten you. No-one gives a fig seems to have a problem with it.

For friends that I don't see every day, I usually just put a general Merry Xmas message on Facebook.

If we do get Xmas cards,I put them up over the telly but that's it - no trees or fairylights or nuffink hmm <bloody hates Xmas emoticon>

ethelb Mon 08-Oct-12 10:36:04

'I'd like to celebrate Christmas, not other people's fecundity'

Oh the irony hmm

Lottapianos Mon 08-Oct-12 10:36:47

Perhaps I should have a tee-shirt made that says

I want one grin

'On the other hand, I make a REAL fuss about birthdays'

Me too Norks - love birthdays, my own and other people's, and have no problems giving birthday cards at all.

YouMayLogOut Mon 08-Oct-12 10:43:00

<adds sparkling to Christmas card list>

YouMayLogOut Mon 08-Oct-12 10:43:32

'I'd like to celebrate Christmas, not other people's fecundity'

Oh the irony hmm

Yes I did think of that grin But you know what I mean.

flubba Mon 08-Oct-12 11:00:01

A couple of years back I didn't send cards for much the same reasons OP and also because I had a newborn and toddler and couldn't be arsed but I sent e-cards through Blue Mountain or someone similar. You could do the same and add your 'charity donation' bit in there? Less Bah Humbug than nothing and people can't complain! grin

MarjorieAntrobus Mon 08-Oct-12 11:08:31

Why do people send cards to people they see so often that they can actually utter the words, "Happy Christmas" to them in person?? Colleagues, neighbours, school gate pals etc... I've always thought that was bonkers, and a trifle needy.


MarjorieAntrobus Mon 08-Oct-12 11:13:38

Some years we haven't got round to cards at all. Other years we have only got halfway throught the address book! Some years we start the address book from the other end to even things out! Nobody ever says anything.

I do really think it is a huge waste of time and money, apart from farflung old friends, and the elderly rellies' expectations.

Ephiny Mon 08-Oct-12 12:13:22

I never bother with cards. You don't have to make a big performance of it, just don't do it!

I don't think you need to text/email people to tell them you're donating to charity confused, why would they need/want to know that? Just text/email to say Happy Christmas if you're not going to see them in person.

Yes I think I will just send the email and not mention the charity bit now.

PickledFanjoCat Mon 08-Oct-12 12:48:14

Sparkling its not as wanky as saying that your not sending cards but you are giving to charity.

You just send an e card and it has santa larking about on there or the baybee jesus if your religious, just like the charity cards you buy in the shops.

An Example

[[ http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Donate/Ecards/ecards.aspx?gid=1&cid=32&stp=2 MacMillan]]

It just saves you the arse of writing, posting and killing all the poor treez.

Now really, thats not at all wanky. Really.

PickledFanjoCat Mon 08-Oct-12 12:48:33

Thanks Pickled. I really don't want to be wanky especially at Christmas. I think Macmillan is a good charity to donate to as well. x

PickledFanjoCat Mon 08-Oct-12 12:53:24

grin I dont want to be wanky at christmas!

I had 15 bloody cards from colleagues the other year. Did one of these, took me 10 mins and they had a happy time playing with the bells.

I was NOT accused of any yule tide or festive wankerdom.

halloweeneyqueeney Mon 08-Oct-12 12:54:54

I agree don't send a wanky pious "I'M DONATING TO CHARITY INSTEAD"

if you wanna give to charity, give to charity, its a private choice and FYI we send cards and give a lot to charity every christmas (food drive, money, gifts to refuge etc) so I am not impressed by people who think they just invented giving to charity at christmas once they stopped sending cards much!

Just don't send cards and wish me merry christmas if you see me or maybe a text/email etc if you wish

susiedaisy Mon 08-Oct-12 12:58:46

So glad I found this thread I find Xmas cards so pointless and have manage to reduce the amount I send to close friends and family, might even go a step further this year and just abandon it altogether, I have always struggled with the sheer waste of paper and the costs involved in producing and delivering them, glad there's others that think similarly smile

PickledFanjoCat Mon 08-Oct-12 12:59:07

Charity christmas cards have been around for donkeys years and most of the ones I get are charity ones. What difference does it make if its an e card?

Surely its better to send something nice to open on email, and make a PRIVATE donation which is not needing to be disclosed to a charity than eff all?


I certainly didn't invent giving to charity just at Christmas believe me.

PickledFanjoCat Mon 08-Oct-12 13:16:03

That would be an amazing accolade.

Get on the blower to Dragons Den!

Cant believe some of the misery gutsing on here. Bah, Bah, Humbug.

ethelb Tue 09-Oct-12 16:13:45

If you don't send cards do you refuse to receive them as well?

I would love to ethel. That would be a bit rude though. So I pile them up then in the recycling on Boxing Day. grin

RuleBritannia Tue 09-Oct-12 17:44:24

Unfortunately, If I don't receive a Christmas card from a particular person here and there, I fear that the worst has happened. Sometimes it has. Not everyone has access to a computer or the knowledge of how to use one at the Library.

PickledFanjoCat Tue 09-Oct-12 18:21:22

What have you decided sparkling?

Ignoramus or wanker?

Not sure Pickled. I have just read Rule's post and now worried people will think something horrible has happened to me. sad

But probably Macmillan will win.

do not waver, sparkling

Unfortunately, bad news travels fast. If you had been abducted by aliens, we would know sad

I had this fun last year smile
Sick to our resolve. You have nothing to lose but a silly list of undergraduate friends, old neighbours, relatives you don't like and people you see every day. Anyone you truly love will KNOW that you love them anyway.

Throw off the stamps, discard the lists, come away from the 15% charity donation. Decorate your house with things that give you pleasure...not nasty bits of glittery cardboard.
Reject the primary school mafia of card giving nonsense.


vamosbebe Tue 09-Oct-12 22:16:00

It's Christmas cards only for us this year, only giving presents to children (so, all of 4 then!) sad

deleted203 Tue 09-Oct-12 23:53:47

I'm considering sending a Christmas card to my parents and writing inside it, 'Hope you have a lovely Christmas, Best wishes, Graham and Jean'......purely for the evil pleasure of watching my mother go, ^Graham and Jean? Who are Graham and Jean? Were they the couple we exchanged addresses with when we were on holiday in Malta last year? He had a dodgy hip and she collected teapots....or is it someone we met at Shirley's do you think? Have we got them on our Christmas card list?' Mwaahaha....grin

YouMayLogOut Wed 10-Oct-12 00:24:34

I wonder whether "Graham and Jean" might send some very jovial Christmas cards to anyone overheard to say they're not doing cards any more grin

Lorefolk Wed 10-Oct-12 11:38:16

Totally agree that sending cards to people you see all the time, eg work colleagues is bonkers. We only send cards that go in the post box. I would, however, find it hard to stop doing this as 80% are to relatives/friends, all older than us, who do not live nearby and do not see our (young) DC and we do send them a picture with the card. I do this because I think an older/elderly person quite likes this and it's not too much effort on my part. Am I wrong? (We could stop the 20% though).

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