And DS has his role in the school play...

(97 Posts)
LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 15:47:35

He was going to be a bauble, not anymore.

Now he is God.

We have to come up with a costume that reflects the role, and he is most insistent that he needs a magic finger.

Ive a good mind to send him in wearing a dress and clutching golf clubs, thus channeling Alanis Morrisette in dogma.

straight from a bauble to God - that is fast-track promotion for you!

No costume guidance from school, then? That sounds foolhardy brave of them.

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 15:52:04

they said "something tunicy" ds thinks that God wears "a diwali shirt" and carries a lightening bolt.

but doesnt have a beard.

dementedma Mon 21-Nov-11 15:57:24

grin at from bauble to God...what kind of God is he going to be? Make him wear rubber gloves and a pinny and send him as a domestic God.
My DS is a bodyguard hmm not sure the Baby Jesus has many of those in the stable. DS has not been picked for this role because he is a lean, mean, macho fighting machine. He has been picked because he's a big, soft lump! He is not happy being a bodyguard - "I want to sing carols in the choir instead".

Can he channel some sort of Greek God? A Titan-esque figure?!

Loving the bauble - God leap though. Good Skills!

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 16:02:26

grin at baby jesus's bodyguard. bless!

I take it this is promotion, BTW?

Hmmm - a lightening bolt. He is embracing the concept of a vengeful God, then?

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 16:03:30

oooh, maybe I should get him a wig!

there are also hedgehogs.

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 16:04:49

oh yes, its a promotion. ds is fixated on the floods (well, he is a Noah) and all the good stories from the old testament.

hedgehogs and baubles.

An interesting version, I feel.

God costume sounds easier than a bauble costume, anyway <<mind boggles>>

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 16:13:47

I would have sent him as one of these and wrapped a ribbon around him grin <lazy>

AFuckingFestiveKnackeredWoman Mon 21-Nov-11 16:14:03

Just a Shepards cossie with out the tea towel hat.

God has a beard though, A grey long gandalf beard!

GrimmaTheNome Mon 21-Nov-11 16:16:47

Can you dress him up so he looks like their headteacher?

Acanthus Mon 21-Nov-11 16:16:55

My Dad was God the other year. He wore black for some reason.

Acanthus Mon 21-Nov-11 16:17:25

Oh I know why. He was the VOICE of God grin

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 16:25:42

grin maybe a suit and sunglasses!

Abgirl Mon 21-Nov-11 16:29:40

God sounds like a good part!

DS1 is St George, whom I don't remember featuring at Bethlehem, but I will no doubt come out of the play better informed (I suspect that a whole host of other historical characters may also surprisingly be at Bethlehem as wellhmm)

DS2 is a cloud, and is absolutely delighted!grin

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 16:31:44

one lovely mner (who I won't out on here) suggested dressing him as George clooney.

do you all have to make the outfits then?

Abgirl Mon 21-Nov-11 16:33:09

Yes for DS1 but have a knights outfit in the dressing up box already.

DS2 I have to provide a white t-shirt and leggings for, neither of which we have currently...

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 16:34:05

oooh, nightmare. primark?

TwoStepsBack Mon 21-Nov-11 16:40:17

Can he go as a Rock God? grin

Aw - mine are too old for all of those things at school now. DS2 once said he had to dress up as a "ripe mango". They were doing their own version of the 12 days of Xmas and it went "fi - ive ripe mangoes". I sent him in a Halloween pumpkin costume on backwards!.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom Mon 21-Nov-11 17:49:47

my pfb was once a leaf (although that was the Harvest Festival) and that same year he was a rabbit in the Nativity. He wasn't even the only rabbit, he was one of about 12 of them confused and the costumes had full heads with ears so we never did find out for sure which one was actually him. My DD was Mary in the church Nativity the year she started school <proud and preening>
All of which pales into insignificance beside the utter and total and complete social humiliation and wreckage forever of my street cred when I was dressed in fourteen yards of mint green tulle net curtain and made to be Angel Gabriel, when I was bloody TWELVE and in senior school! <fumes and sobs all over again, the sound of thirty year old guffaws still ringing in my ears>

vixsatis Mon 21-Nov-11 17:52:55

Just don't tell him that God is a woman....

The wig has to resemble something Charlton Heston-ish from Ten Commandments

or as others have said think Greek - I was thinking Laurence Olivier in Clash of the Titans?

It must involve sandals though. Oh the fun you could have, I wish my DS was god!

EdithWeston Mon 21-Nov-11 18:08:14

God made the world - send him in a boiler suit or overalls.

Yes - like Morgan Freeman in that film - was it Evan Almighty. He had overalls and a bucket and mop.

But still had a beard...always remember the beard.....

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 19:41:12

Some great ideas here grin would crocs do instead of sandals?

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 21-Nov-11 19:41:12

Some great ideas here grin would crocs do instead of sandals?

Help help help.

DD (5) is not a shepherd - both she and her teacher are adamant that she is a shepherdess, FGS. Can anyone find me an (age-appropriate) picture to work from, please?!

this is a lovely one

Otherwise you go "bo-peep" with the straw bonnet tied with the big ribbon etc, and that's not really biblical.

I was thinking more diagram than oil painting, but Thanks grin

I think DD definitely has Bo Peep in mind. IIRC, last year's shepherd was a contemporary one in tweeds with aluminium crook (real crook in current use, not foil).

I suspect I am going to end up compromising on toned-down and de-frilled Bo Beep (dress, bonnet, apron). Sigh. Why couldn't she wear the sodding shepherds robe out of the cupboard instead of insisting on playing the "my Mummy will make me one" card hmm?

VoldemortsNipple Tue 22-Nov-11 21:27:30

Message from my athiest DD

Keep him at home. God doesn't exsist grin

DS2 is a member of an 80s band in his panto. Oh the fun I can have with that costume smile

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Wed 23-Nov-11 09:14:59

stealth, sympathies grin I like the idea of a contemprary

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Wed 23-Nov-11 09:17:22

oops, contemporary shepherdess, bo-peep is a bit... frilly.

we have decided on a toga/tunic combo. a foil lightening bolt and a gold painted finger!

purplepidjin Wed 23-Nov-11 09:30:45

Could you play the dyslexia card and send him as Reservoir God in a black suit and shades?

<awaits flaming for disablist language>

Or, a bit easier, chop holes in the right places out of a white pillow case and tie a bit of rope round his waist?

purplepidjin Wed 23-Nov-11 09:32:00
tummytickler Wed 23-Nov-11 09:37:05

My dd would love to be God - I think God may be her dream job!
ds is Joseph, but he keeps forgetting the name (he is just 4) and call him 'Baby Jesus' Daddy'
dd is Sally. I don't remember Sally in the Nativity . . .

older ds and dd (8 and 10) are in the choir, they are gutted they are not in the school Nativity, especially ds, as dd is in our church nativity, but ds doesn't go to church as he plays football for our town on a Sunday morning, so he ca't do that one either!

Lissie - I am fighting against a very frilly mental image that DD has (how did she get to be frilly-soppy-pink girl, FGS?). I now have patterns/instructions for dress and bonnet - they will be neither pink nor frilly but will hopefully keep DD (who apparently rejected the school costumes as "yukky" hmmblush) happy.

I like the gold-painted finger touch - I can just imagine your DS doing a little light smiting (sp?) in the run-up to the play grin

muppetthecow Wed 23-Nov-11 10:29:24

Loving the magic finger idea grin

I was Mary in our church nativity when I was eight, but after I managed to (accidentally!) decapitate baby Jesus during the performance blush was therafter relegated to playing presents or trees. Looking at it from my current parental POV, I think this affected my poor Mum more than me as she had to make all the costumes!

GrimmaTheNome Wed 23-Nov-11 10:35:52

stealth this is what shepherdesses wear nowadays for special occasions.

Thanks for that, Grimma hmm - Little Bo Peep (even the frilly version) starts to look like a walk in the park.

I love the boiler suit idea and the reservoir dog plan grin

My ds is Art director - who doesn't actually feature in the play at all - cunning ploy by teacher to have him drawing and calm while the rest rehearse grin

blue2 Thu 24-Nov-11 17:38:11

My ds is 13 now, so past all of this - however, you have had me in stitches reading this thread!

I'm surprised that no one has remembered the little girl in Love Actually that announced that she was the Lobster in the Nativity play. Classic.

3rdnparty Thu 24-Nov-11 18:17:44

DS is an alien costume advice as yet, the girl aliens are distraught Ds just wants to know which planet he's is very hard not to smirk smile

Santaflaws Thu 24-Nov-11 20:14:56

My DD came home with a note today saying she's a cow. I am dismayed, she has long golden hair and I was convinced she was Angel material. shock

Pam100127 Thu 24-Nov-11 21:27:55

My DS aged six and in year 3 came rushing out of school today with his 'script'. Looking through this I saw a new take on the nativity: He is 'bossy angel', there are also various other angels, including 'kind angel', 'hopeful angel', 'excited angel', 'fashion angel', 'clever angel' & 'smug angel' & 'Gabriel' (of course) finally towards the end Mary & Joseph and the baby show up. Being athiest this interpretation suits me fine and my little darling can take lessons from his older sister on improving his 'bossy' skills.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 24-Nov-11 21:32:14

Humph, my DD is 12 and we're off the hook for nativities but we still had to turn her into an alien for Children in Need day. (theme Toy Story - nearly all the other girls came as Jessie or a Barbie, trust DD to want to be a Little Green Alien grin) It never stops you know.

startail Thu 24-Nov-11 21:35:42

Now I'm torn between keeping him at home, because I agree God doesn't exist.
Or dressing him as the HT, since I often refer to DD2s head as God.

daveywarbeck Thu 24-Nov-11 21:36:24

DS is to be a sheep. We can choose whether he is a black sheep or a white sheep by providing a white or black T shirt for him to wear under the costume school provides.

Viewofthehills Thu 24-Nov-11 22:59:10

My DD2 is to be an owl.
Why did I volunteer to make not 1 but three owl costumes? The words just came out. And I have a new sewing machine and can't get it to work. And a 40th birthday party to cater for next week.

ChristinedePizanne Thu 24-Nov-11 23:06:50

DS is a camel. I was very amused that they sent a note home saying 'all reception year children will be animals' (subtext - it isn't just your child who is missing out on a key role in the nativity play, no one in his year has a decent part so get over yourself')

sydneysuze Fri 25-Nov-11 00:04:45

Hi - bit late but to the poster who needs little shepherdess inspiration - we lived in Oman for a while and the girls who look after the goats look like this :

Sydneysuze that little shepherd girl looks adorable - and easy - but I think I am too far down the stupid irrelevant little Bo-Peep lookalike route now sad - I have a dress made, need to add petticoats and stuff, and do the bonnet.

stealth, you should just send her in a shepherd's outfit and say they all wear unisex outfits these days to avoid gender discrimination........

It's not school that are proposing anything other than that, Norman (they have shepherd's outfits hmm) - it is stubborn opinionated DD, and I am being guilted into compliance because I will be away for work and will miss the great performance itself blush.

ShowOfHands Fri 25-Nov-11 11:42:37

DD is a sheep it turns out after weeks of adamantly informing us that she's to be 'The Voice of Sarcasm'. She's begrudgingly agreed to be a Sarcastic Sheep. She's intones 'Baa' in the same way I imagine Jack Dee would. Can't wait for the performance.

I am chortling out loud at the thought of "sarcastic sheep".

ShowOfHands Fri 25-Nov-11 11:46:22

I'm also mildly concerned that DD's nativity is going to end up being a bit Jeremy Kyle. Her bf is Joseph and I heard them chatting the other day about how 'Joseph isn't really the Daddy as Mary's a virginia so he's probably quite cross about the whole thing'. They've decided he should 'frown a lot' and 'give God the silent treatment'.

They're four.

I would be so tempted to plant the concept in Joseph's head that he should demand a paternity test grin

ShowOfHands Fri 25-Nov-11 12:04:15

He's got a heart condition (dd's bf, not Joseph himself though I'm sure he had palpitations when his virgin wife announced she was pregnant with God's baby) and every time he says 'we've travelled many miles', he adds 'and I've got a bad heart'. I'm sure we could get him to add an aside about cuckolds as well.

Some remark about the CSA, maybe grin?

ShowOfHands Fri 25-Nov-11 12:11:20

A sarcastic glance to the heavens (dd can supply the sarcasm) and mutter about non resident parents?

Are you likely to have Joseph round to play between now and this performance so that you could plant discuss such pertinent issues?

TeWihara Fri 25-Nov-11 12:26:27

I love that Showy. Please let them keep his extra lines!

My DD has her first ever role: aka an Angel and I am excited because it's all novel and new. (Probably won't be that excited when I properly remember that I don't have a sewing machine and have loads of sewing to do...)

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Fri 25-Nov-11 15:07:05

Showy, they could demand a dna test on stage!

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Fri 25-Nov-11 15:07:05

Showy, they could demand a dna test on stage!

Isla77 Fri 25-Nov-11 18:50:14

I see God in a long white robe and with a beard. Agree about the sandals though.

Isla77 Fri 25-Nov-11 19:01:55

Showof Hands - I love the thought of Mary as a virginia (creeper?) and the thought of giving God the silent treatment had tears streaming down my cheeks (of laughter). At that age they are so hilarious. I think he should be allowed to say the bit about having a bad heart. After all, Joseph is always portrayed as being quite old and travelling to Bethlehem leading a donkey carrying your heavily pregnant wife must be enough to bring on heart problems.

Megfox Sat 26-Nov-11 16:29:17

Whatever became of the simple Nativity Play?
You know -or perhaps you don't - when there was a Virgin Mary, a Joseph and a Manger, with a doll to represent the Baby Jesus.....? And angels with tinsel haloes......

Seems that, nowadays, it has to be something that will encompass all faiths- because, heaven forefend that anyone should feel left out! But, the truth is, that Christmas is a CHRISTIAN (CHRIST MASS?) celebration, and, as such, should NOT have to include all faiths.

God was never portrayed in a Nativity Play. He was/is the unseen spirit that enabled the whole thing. No child should have to be concerned, then, as to how he is supposed to represent God......

You should have a serious talk with the head teacher of your son's school on this matter......

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Sat 26-Nov-11 16:33:12

Meg, seriously? hmm

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Sat 26-Nov-11 16:33:13

Meg, seriously? hmm

Catsmamma Sat 26-Nov-11 16:41:28

rofl at Meg!

Have a mulled wine and chill out!

I am not sure they had line dancing in the nativity either but dd was in charge of that the one year she was not Mary <stealth boast>

Ds1 was a rabbit once!

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Sat 26-Nov-11 16:49:14

I love the fact that the nativity has moved on. Christmas is about more than the birth of jesus (whether you believe or not) its about family and goodwill and kindness. The extended cast also means that every child feels like they matter and have contributed. I love ds's teacher for recasting him as god, it shows sense of humour (CofE school in a village, very involved in the local church) and has made ds, who joined 6m ago and struggled to settle in, feel 10ft tall!

ROFL. No inclusion of other religions involved at DC's school. Just a very incongruous little-bo-beep-lookalike shepherdess bossing the 2 shepherds around, I suspect.

scaevola Mon 28-Nov-11 06:10:37

"Christmas is about more than the birth of Jesus" ROFL!

Christmas - honestly! Clue in the name.

Perhaps the poster means Yule? Older than Christmas, overlapping traditions, perhaps needs wider reclaiming for the secular parts of the mid-winter festival.

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 28-Nov-11 08:42:29

I'm aware of the significance of the name thank you, no need to patronise. The celebration of the holiday has changed. Few people go to church on xmas day now, for example. For many its not about the birth of jesus, despite the name, its about famillies and joy and love.

How on earth has a lighthearted thread about christmas plays taken this turn?

<<attempts to return thread to original tone>>

Lissie when is God's big moment (as it were)? The out-of-context shepherdess has frilly dress and bonnet but insists she needs an apron as well hmm. Curse all those people who bought her "yukky bedtime stories for girls" books with Little Bo Peep in.

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Mon 28-Nov-11 22:25:50

Next monday! He has been practising his booming voice and arms aloft stance. Have you managed to sort out a crook too? I'd be tempted to give her a gun and say its a taser grin

School say they can manage a crook from somewhere, but in a moment of weakness I have ordered one off ebay which should meet with madam's requirements blush

We have also yet to go through the process of auditioning sheep, of course....hmm

UniS Mon 28-Nov-11 22:49:13

Ds is going to be one of 24 waiters/waitresses in a greek restraunt !! I await with interest how THAT fits into a nativity play. On the plus side, no sewing required, grey trews and white shirt ( ie uniform) only.

oldraver Mon 28-Nov-11 23:50:04

DS is going to be an angle complete with white frock edged with tinsil. They are making halos themselves

So this year he can be in his opwn little worl pulling tinsel off his halo like he pulled all the cotton wool off last years sheep crown

IwoulddoPachacuti Mon 28-Nov-11 23:57:52

The Christmas play at our school involves Santa, elves and a dragon hmm

gallicgirl Tue 29-Nov-11 00:00:15

What sort of angle? Right-angled or isosceles?


Any chance you could make God's golden finger light up a bit like ET? How amazing would that look? smile

ShowOfHands Tue 29-Nov-11 11:11:26

Christmas isn't much to do with the birth of Jesus at all. It's a period of celebration hijacked by Christians in order to stop the nasty heathens celebrating in their non-Christian ways. All the Christmas trees, mistletoe, yule logs, gift giving stuff is nowt to do with Jesus who wasn't even born in December anyway. I do hope that if you're going to be sanctimonious about something as lovely as a school show, you take care not to have any pagan symbols or traditions in your home at Christmas.

My Dad's Othodox and as religious as they come and even he acknowledges Christmas as nothing to do with the birth of Jesus.

Christmas means different things to different people and it's a mishmash of traditions from which we pick and choose. Thankfully, nearly all of the things we can pick from are lovely, kind, generously-spirited traditions which we share with our nearest and dearest in the ways we see fit. Some of the elements are Christian. Screeching rudely about the ways in which people do things, about the ways in which we celebrate and rejoice is neither Christian nor kind.

And it's bugger all to do with not offending other religions. DH's nativity 25yrs ago had aliens in it. This was feck all to do with not offending the non-existant scientologists in his tiny village primary but everything to do with creating an imaginative, engaging story for the children to take part in. And yes there was a donkey and a baby Jesus too.

DD's school is taking the time to promote generosity, kindness, humility and friendship through their Christmas play and it doesn't get more Christian than that. If a sloth and a warthog happen to turn up to witness it all, then all power to the parents making the costumes, frankly. Baby Cheesus and the Virginia Creeper will of course be making an appearance. It matters not a jot.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 29-Nov-11 11:41:24

>The Christmas play at our school involves Santa, elves and a dragon hmm

Why the hmm? The traditional mummers play (which we attempted when I was at school 40 years ago instead of the usual nativity) includes Father Christmas, and St George, though he usually dispatches the Turkish Knight rather than a dragon. And a doctor and Beelzebub. Wonderful traditional mishmash.

Santa Claus is Sinter Klaas though no, so he was a religious figure, and a very important one for the rest of Europe on the 6th December when he travels the land and spreads kindness to children.

I would say Christmas it's exacly the opposite of an uniquely Christian celebration actually.

Before Christ was born, there was no "christianity" - so everyone on that night (whenever it actually was) was welcome to rock up to his manger and say hi. Alien, bingo player, shepherd....

Do you think the Magi were Christian, or Islamic? Muslims accept the existence of Jesus Christ, so why wouldn't they be welcome at the birth of Jesus.

The exclusive Nativity people are spouting about on here surely flies in the face of everything Jesus supposedly came to Earth to change. Belief was for everyone, and everyone was welcome.

Now let's get back to costume planning....

IwoulddoPachacuti Tue 29-Nov-11 12:12:29

We are in Scotland, so it's not anything to do with St George. The plotline is that everyone comes down with the flu so the dragon has to fly the sleigh smile

GrimmaTheNome Tue 29-Nov-11 12:19:19

>Do you think the Magi were Christian, or Islamic?

Neither, obviously! Christianity didn't exist until after the death of Jesus, and Mohammed was centuries later. Some sources reckon the Magi would have been Zoroastrians; the majority of the rest of the nativity cast would have been Jewish.

daveywarbeck Tue 29-Nov-11 12:24:39

I always thought the Magi came from China.


muddysnowballsthenativitycow Tue 29-Nov-11 12:26:37

Well, ST George is nearly 300 years to early!grin

DD is a cow. ( she's the only one who will fit into the costume!wink)

Some of the comments have made me cry with laughter , thanks for that, i needed it! smile

That's what I mean Grimma, there should be no other forms of religious exclusivity and no grouping of people by religion. Everyone was welcomed, that was his teaching.

Muslims today recognise Jesus Christ and the Magi, (whether they were sorcerers or astrologists, from Yemen or Iran,) as do other religions, however posters on here are saying that we have to keep the Nativity as "Christian". Anyone has a right to be at the Nativity in whatever costume they choose.

Also not everyone is saying their child is in a Nativity play, so perhaps other aspects of Saturnalia or European folklore about the darkest month of the year and bringing greenery into the house should be taught, so that children don't end up with one point of view and learn from history - all of it.

It doesn't sound like Christianity, it smacks of snobbery...

GrimmaTheNome Tue 29-Nov-11 13:27:56

Quite so, binful smile

My DC would be majorly jealous of a play which included a starring, not-being-slain role for a dragon. They are always on the dragon's side (except, come to think of it, if their school did such a play and they didn't get the role of the dragon, there would be hell to pay).

LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly Sat 03-Dec-11 09:22:32

how are the plans going people?

UnexpectedOrange Sat 03-Dec-11 11:01:15

my ds is a narrator.. i only have to put his best uniform on. woo=hoo!

LissTheSeasonLouBeJollie Fri 09-Dec-11 17:21:50

well, he was magnificent. he had the boom just right, and even got billing!

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