Children's nativity play and Christmas show mishaps: please share your favourites

(93 Posts)
GeraldineMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 01-Nov-11 12:41:23

Hello,

We're busier than Santa's elves putting together some new content for Christmas. And we'd like your help, please.

What we're after are stories of your children's performances in Nativity plays, school Christmas shows, pantos etc, that didn't go exactly according to plan. wink

So outright disasters or just mistakes, bloopers, wardrobe or script malfunctions that made you giggle/blush/strangely proud, please share them here.

Thank you smile

Minus273 Tue 01-Nov-11 14:29:55

Church Nativity Play where one of the angels stole one of the toy sheep from one of the shepherds. A second shepherd then used the crook he had been given to hook round the angel's belt as she tried to escape up the aisle and dragged her back.

Then 2 years ago my dd fell asleep in front of the altar while the play stopped half way through for the sermon blush.

LordOfTheFlies Tue 01-Nov-11 21:52:40

When my DS was in Yr 2 he played a rat/coachman for Cinderellas Coach (they didn't do a Nativity that year).

Little bu**ger spent most of the time with his hands down the back of his trousers-despite my trying to give him the Evil Eye- until one of the teachers swiped his hands away. blush

onepieceofcremeegg Tue 01-Nov-11 21:56:39

Baby Jesus's head fell off and rolled slowly down the 2 steps from the stage.

Last year at dd's school the reception "camels" who were riding a version of a hobby horse had a bit of a scrap in the aisle, the headteacher who is a very mild-mannered man had to break it up.

25kilopumpkin Tue 01-Nov-11 22:06:56

DS was 3 and his nursery cast him as a lamb, they said this was "white clothes" which seemed reasonable. On the day (21st Dec) he wore, white t-shirt, linen trousers, cricket tank-top. When we got there the other four lambs were all in full sheep outfits with masks etc and DS looked like he was about to play cricket. They had found his sheepskin gloves and turned them inside out in a desperate attempt to, presumably, make him more "sheeplike" it was too funny for me to be angry which is a first

fluffythevampirestabber Tue 01-Nov-11 22:10:29

Child (age 4 or 5) bouncing at side of stage - fell off into wee shepherds who were kneeling on the floor

glosses over memory of being the mother of the nose picker in the back row

betheldeath Tue 01-Nov-11 22:27:28

When I was 5, and cast as the angel Gabriel, it became quite apparent to my parents, and the entire school hall, that I was badly in need of glasses after doing a graceful trip/slide across the stage mid speech narrowly missing a sheep.

That and the weird squinty blinky thing that they videotaped. Cheers Mum

SamMiguel Tue 01-Nov-11 22:31:11

We were so proud watching Ds1 in the starring role of Joseph in the Reception class Nativity...until he picked the biggest bogey out of his nose and wiped it all over Mary's shoulder!

TraitorsAreComing Tue 01-Nov-11 23:18:19

Not really a mishap but when I was in Reception I was chosen to play Mary. An unheard-of honour. I cried and stamped my feet because I wanted to "be a weary traveller and trudge to Bethlehem with Jason!"

My Mum brings this up every time we go to a Nativity play with one of the DGC. She still hasn't forgiven me.

25kilopumpkin Wed 02-Nov-11 05:41:03

I said this on another thread but DS is convinced and immovable that it's 3 wisemen and three "chefs" rather than shepherds and if not why hence "shepherds pie?" He can't believe that they put a baby in a horses feeding bowl "the manger" and told me just yesterday that the "sparkly guy" (Angel Gabriel) had a Hula Hoop (halo) on his head.

roguepixie Wed 02-Nov-11 12:12:47

DS was cast as Joseph when in nursery so he was 4. He was sitting with Mary when the 3 Wise Men arrived with their gifts. Gratefully received the frankinsence and gold but exclaimed loudly when the 3rd Wise Man offered his gift: "Myrrh? What's Myrrh then". All heads swivvelled to where his Dad and I sat, bright red grin.

A few years later he was an angel. Suitably dressed with a tinsel headdress. He absolutely loves music and singing and got into being part of the choir of angels with much enthusiasm...so much so he fell off the back of the stage (not very high) and all the audience could see of him were the soles of his shoes.

TheLittlestNarwhal Wed 02-Nov-11 12:20:44

When ds2 was in nursery he was cast as one of the 'stars' dressed in decorated white t-shirts with no trousers. All looked really angelic until they lifted their arms up and the whole audience realised that DS2 had also taken off his pants! blush

WinterIsComing Wed 02-Nov-11 12:31:02

grin at the last two. Brilliant!

Pancakeflipper Wed 02-Nov-11 12:37:23

When my eldest was 5, he had 1 very vital ( I am building up his part here) line to say at the Christmas nativity.

Before his grand moment he was sat at the side of hall by the sliding doors in his outfit awaiting his cue. He got abit bored and started to twist himself into the full length curtains next to him.

He was so good at the twisting thing he completed disappeared into it and was not able to untangle himself in time to utter the vital line "look at the shining star."

The teacher doing the nativity was sat at the front hissing "PancakeflipperSon, where are you?" After a few anxious seconds she gave up and said the line herself.

He will never be anything but in the chorus for every school production now.

Fuzzywood Wed 02-Nov-11 13:05:06

Friend of mine was given the great honour of being Mary when she was about 5. Unfortunately her and her older sister had a bit of an argument the night before the big day which resulted in said friend ending up with a black eye. No amount of make up could successfully cover it up!

ilovesprouts Wed 02-Nov-11 13:17:59

my son was angel gaberiel and he just stood there stamped his feet and started crying .. wonder wat he will be this year smile

Ooopsadaisy Wed 02-Nov-11 13:32:52

A fight broke out over who was going to hold the baby Jesus.

Joseph pushed Mary off the stage and one the three wise men wet himself in all the confusion.

LynnCSchreiber Wed 02-Nov-11 13:54:29

DS was in the front row of the choir last year, so that everyone could see that he was quite desperate for a wee.

He jiggled and held his willy, ignored my hissed instructions to jump down so that I could take him to the loo, all the while still singing his heart out.

We have it on video so that we can embarrass him when he is older

MartyrStewart Wed 02-Nov-11 14:12:15

One of the boastful playground mums was preening last year that her PFB had come home and told her he had got 'The Head Part'.

Which he had, there were two DC playing the Donkey and he was the donkey's head grin

HattiFattner Wed 02-Nov-11 14:12:33

ds1 was cast as a shepherd in the preschool play. He was sat with his dressing gown and tea towel and looking cute and angelic as mary and joseph make their little tableaux. Then he spotted his dad, who had been away a lot the previous 2 weeks.

In that lovely LOUD tot voice we hear: "THATS MY DADDY OVER THERE. LOOK OLLIE, THERES MY DADDY! HELLO DADDY! (frantic waving and pointing) DADDY! HELLO! I'M A SHEPHERD. WHY ARENT YOU TALKING TO ME DADDY? (repeat)

There were many that came up to us afterwards to say hello to the famous daddy....!

The same year, we attended a nativity in the church where my dd was singing. I was sat with ds1 (4) and ds2 (1 year). turned around to find ds1 had climbed onto some random ladies lap, snuggled up, stuffed his thumb in his mouth while twiddling the collar of her fleece under his nose, and promptly fallen asleep. SHe was enchanted and bemused!

Meanwhile, ds2 (who had been sat quietly chewing a toy, decided he would like to follow the three kings down the aisle with said toy in his mouth crawling away at great speed. - to grab him would have meant disturbing the whole proceedings, so frantically gesticulated to head teacher and she grabbed him on his way past.

They must have thought us a strange family.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Wed 02-Nov-11 14:13:02

DD was a star when she was around 3. Her speech had never been clearer than when she said sod this and walked off the stage.

Fuzzywood Wed 02-Nov-11 14:29:51

grin @ rips DD

DaisyFields Wed 02-Nov-11 14:37:13

My brother was absent on the day they sorted out the costumes so on the day of the performance, alongside the donkey, sheep & camels, was a rather disgruntled looking lion.

WinterIsComing Wed 02-Nov-11 14:44:55

I took DD out of the Catholic "beacon" school (which is a whole other thread) and sent her to the local one. The Nativity included references to the shepherds having consumed magic mushrooms and made much of the fact that Joseph thought that Mary had "cheated" and even mentioned Jeremy Kyle shock

Ooopsadaisy Wed 02-Nov-11 15:00:51

Oh I forgot this one!

Christingle service:

DD set light to her hair. The smell was about for weeks.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Wed 02-Nov-11 15:12:08

Blimey, looks like DDs wasnt' the worst thing.
I can't blame her it was dull and I should have been engaged. The funniest bit was people approaching DH for weeks after the performance and commenting on it. He was assistant principal of the school.

Abgirl Wed 02-Nov-11 16:28:31

DS1 took his role of the donkey a little too seriously when he was in reception - he added to authenticity by chewing his toenails live on stageshock! Actually not sure that donkeys can do that but other parents were mightily amused by his display of flexibilitygrin.

tallulah Wed 02-Nov-11 17:14:26

SS1's Reception nativity involved insects of various types (she was a spider and looked ace grin ). Part-way through the performance there was a bit of a problem when the Bees started their bit too early. DD stopped in the middle of the stage and shouted "No! It's the Ants, not you! The Ants!". Everyone was in hysterics. blush

tallulah Wed 02-Nov-11 17:15:04

That of course should say DD1, not SS1 (must preview)

CMOTdibbler Wed 02-Nov-11 18:28:46

My mum was an infant teacher for 40 years, and so I watched every nativity and play for 25 years.

Lots of children hoiking up their tops tp look at their tums, bum scratching etc and at least one bursting into tears or wee accident per year.

My favourite part of the year was the non nativity play though - coming up with a play for 120 4-7 year olds is no small task. I still think her masterpiece was 'Snow White and the Seven dwarves go through the woods and meet the Care bears and friends'. Those who couldn't be trusted to speak, move or sing nicely made lovely trees that year smile

When I was about 8, I was deemed sensible enough to be the narrator for the nativity. It had all gone swimmingly until the end when I asked everyone to join me in saying the Gaylord's Prayer ... I still have no idea to this day why I did it blush

hairtwiddler Wed 02-Nov-11 20:23:23

This one from Scottish borders circa 1983 when neighbour's little boy got the role of the Innkeeper. Mary and Joseph knocked on the door, weary and Mary heavy with child.
Joseph: "Have you any room for us this night?"
Innkeeper: "Aye, come away in. Loads of space."
Cue silence and much confusion all round while teachers tried to put the whole thing right.

NoGoodAtHousework Wed 02-Nov-11 21:10:05

I was cast as Mary when at playgroup and firstly tripped over the donkey horse thing they had us 'ride on' then exclaimed that it wasn't in fact the baby Jesus in the crib, it was just a doll!

oldsilver Wed 02-Nov-11 21:42:26

Mixed year school Nativity, DS (reception) is one of the 9 shepherds though there were only five sheep So they reach the Inn to ask the innkeeper where the Baby Cheesuz is and sing a song. At this point one of the barman (another reception) starts prodding DS and he obviously prodded back, then slapping each other, then hitting lightly. Thank goodness the song finished and the shepherds went off before a full scale scrap developed how proud am I of DS blush

SingingSands Wed 02-Nov-11 23:50:19

Infant school production of the Christmas story was a success, no mishaps, just the usual waving to parents and gazing into space..

However, afterwards, the main cast assembled on the stage to have their photograph taken for the local paper. It was just as the photographer was taking the shots that I noticed that one of the little boys playing a shepherd was having a wardrobe malfunction... his dressing gown was on the short side and as he was sitting on the edge of his chair, with his legs were wide apart I spotted his willy was sticking out of a hole in his pants!

There was a short break in proceedings whilst we rearranged his pose! It certainly kept us chuckling in the staffroom for the rest of the day!

CointreauVersial Wed 02-Nov-11 23:54:39

DD1 was cast as a "special" sheep when she was 5. DH took the day off work to watch the performance, proud Granny was wheeled out etc. etc.

She had a hissy fit just before she was due to come on stage because she wasn't happy with the length of her trousers. I think the whole audience heard the backstage tantrum; she ended up missing the entire play.

CointreauVersial Wed 02-Nov-11 23:57:57

I forgot another one - this was DD2. She appeared in a Panto aged 5 and ended up wetting herself in the middle of her dance routine. Another girl slipped over in the pool of wee. blush

SingingSands Thu 03-Nov-11 00:00:38

Just remembered another -

My DBrother and I attended Sunday School in the 80s. The Sunday School teachers hated my DB, as he was a little toerag in those days. Nevertheless, every child must have a role in the Sunday School play...

DB was the straw in the stable grin

We dressed him in yellow cords and a yellow jumper and tied some straw around his middle. He spent the entire production lying on the side of the stage. My poor mother was mortified grin

Singing sands No Way! I have just snorted embarrassingly loudly grin

When BIL was 4 or 5 he played a shepherd in the Nativity. He and the other shepherds shuffled onstage, teatowels on their heads, and the audience 'aaah'ed and giggled with delight. Little BIL took great offence at this and shouted "Stop laughing!" at the audience. I can only imagine they didn't obey because he then made his hand into a gun like little boys do and yelled "I'll shoot you! I'LL SHOOT YOU ALL!"

I'll never tire of hearing MIL tell that one. I should point out that BIL is not now a murderer grin.

In pre-school dd sat, with a face like thunder, cross-legged in the middle of the tiny stage, totally ignoring the play being acted out around her, and continuously muttering just loudly enough for the audience to hear:"I wanted to be Mary!"

In all fairness there had been some confusion over the role, and about 5 little girls thought they were going to be Mary, but only my dd made a stand about it.

grin

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 03-Nov-11 07:27:52

DD1 went to a very precious Montessori nursery school in Sarf Landan, and was not in the school play, on the grounds that "We're only having children in the play who do 5 sessions or more a week." I pointed out that DD did 7, but she wasn't budging on allowing DD1 in the play - muttered something about the children in the play being those that did one session each day - clearly untrue. She then asked me to keep DD1 off, when they were rehearsing (every morning) - err, no - I am paying for this nursery as I am working.

We went along to see this stellar performance, and it became clear why DD1 had been excluded. All of the children in the play were blonde, with the exception of the Angel Gabriel, who was black, and the narrator, who was red headed. shock The little narrator was clearly a bit fazed by his starring role, and for comfort, unzipped his flies, got his willy out and clutched it for the whole performance. Mad nursery teacher was nearly apoplectic, kept gesturing, and waving her hand for him to put it away. This threw him even more, and he started to rub it (without losing track of his narrating). I laughed so much I had to leave the room. And thought it served her right for being such a caaaah about her colour co-ordinated play.

charlieandlola Thu 03-Nov-11 10:33:46

In Ds's nativity play Mary was pushed along on a large toy donkey placed precariously on a wheeled platform. Joseph pulled this along very very slowly to the Innkeeper ( DS), who was meant to lead it back across the stage when he had said his part. He said his part well, and I was relaxing in the audience thinking "phew" when DS then kicked the wheeled donkey across the stage, donkey and wheels came asunder, wheels carried on in the correct direction, donkey was left lying on its' side, so DS gave it another boot into the wings for good measure. Cue whole audience bursting out laughing, and DS responding to the attention by doing his Michael Jackson inspired hipthrusts before he was "escorted" off the stage by the head of drama.
I haven't been to a nativity since.

ByTheWay1 Thu 03-Nov-11 11:49:03

My one time starring role as Mary lasted 2 minutes - me and Joseph walked across the stage - he walked too far, fell off the stage and broke his collar bone. When he was carted away they decided just to have us all on stage singing our songs and that was it! Apparently I was indignant!

WinterIsComing Thu 03-Nov-11 12:54:06

grin at being the straw! After the Mary debacle it was decided that I should play a piano solo instead and didn't get a part in the play ever again.

And it was always the most evil challenging classmate who was cast as Herod. I'm sure the teachers did it deliberately.

DS aged 4 was cast as a star, his part was right at the start of the show after which he and the other stars were supposed to sit quietly at the front of the stage. He did his little dance very seriously and then settled at the front of the stage to chew his toenails for 15 mins grin

My DD was Mary last year <proud> and she got Baby Jesus stuck under the chair because Joseph sat in the wrong place. She covered her difficult birth remarkably well but my video of the lovely touching performance is somewhat spoilt by the sound of me snorting like a pig with laughter watching her blush

bruffin Thu 03-Nov-11 13:39:42

Ours was near disaster.
DD was an angel in reception, in a pretty long white dress and wings. She was doing her usual fiddling with her dress, sitting down she was picking up the hem and waving it about. Only found out afterwards that she had no knickers onshock

cakeoclock Thu 03-Nov-11 13:41:48

I was enthralled by the church nativity play last year and subsequently didn't notice dd aged 3 messing about under the front row pew. Cue quiet moment and dd's little voice reverberating around the church "oh no I'm going to be stuck here forever" on repeat in a very calm, resigned voice. She had her head stuck firmly under the pew.

Cue mass (silent) panic on our row until my db told her to turn her head and out it popped. All was well until another quiet moment when my niece whispered "can you imagine if we had to call the fire engine out". Our bench was shaking as we all tried to laugh silently, I thought my db might need an ambulance he held his breath for so long. You have never seen a row of people run out of mass quicker in your life. I was told at school the next morning they could all hear our laughter in the carpark and a little boy announced "I didn't know it was a funny story". I still can't sit on the front row without chuckling.

Cazzmags Thu 03-Nov-11 16:11:20

Oh God..the horrors of the Xmas play! I'm still emotionally scarred after my experience many years ago. DS1 was beautifully playing his part of a towns person when DS2 who was about 3 at the time and watching with me decided to "kick off". He started quietly kicking his chair and muttering which got louder and louder...cue increasingly loud pleas from me for him to be quiet to no avail. He then got up and was wandering up and down the aisles chattering loudly when I decided enough was enough and got up to take him out. For good measure he shouted "Oh poo" at the top of his voice as we were leaving with me casting remorseful looks at DS1 who was about to cry.

My relief at escaping was very short lived as when the school video came out every horrific detail was there to be heard over and over again......the shame of it.

scrivette Thu 03-Nov-11 16:11:34

DB was Joseph in the Church Nativity (DM must have been smug as I was Mary 3 years before). He took his role very seriously and when Mary toppled backwards off of her chair he remained in character and completely ignored her, cue lots of Sunday School teachers running over to make sure she is ok whilst DB picks up baby Jesus from the manger and rocks him!

DD1 aged 2 and a bit. We went to watch a 'production' of the Nativity at the church where a friend's child had a role. wine on offer after

DD1 watched carefully throughout, clearly enjoying the play. The vicar then got up to say a few thousand words at the end and DD1 said, very loudly and very clearly, 'who is that man in the dress anyway mummy, is he God?' Mortified doesn't really touch it.

Said vicar has never forgotten and commented on it the other day when I bumped into him. DD1 will be 18 this weekend, so clearly made a lasting impression.

SolidGoldVampireBat Thu 03-Nov-11 17:40:27

DS' nursery did a nativity play notable for the Angel Gabriel picking her nose all the way through it. And, from my own childhood, though my mother was the one who witnessed it as it was my brother's class's nativity play - they had a load of kids sitting on a bench in front of the stage being the choir, and next to them was the school piano, upon which the school piano player used to pound away like Mrs Mills. On the end of the row was a DC of about 7 who, my mum said, was obviously not feeling too well and was going greener and greener as Mrs Pianowoman hammered those bass notes. As the final bellowed Alleluia ended, up jumped this poor little green-faced kid and puked his ring all over the floor.

acsec Thu 03-Nov-11 19:21:26

In my 2nd year of teaching I was doing an RE lesson in the run up to Christmas and had an inspector in watching it. One of the activities for the children to do was to act out the Nativity. I was assisting a child who was doing some writing when I heard from the role playing group "King! Get me some coffee, my wife just had a baby!" I went over to investigate and was told "That's what they always say on Casualty, Miss!" The inspector was silently laughing away in the corner.

Theas18 Thu 03-Nov-11 19:34:47

Dd1 was 7 at church and very responsible. Hence she was allowed to borrow a real baby Jesus and wear a baby carrier with her in (lol) said baby was very sweet but poor dd kept getting possessed handfuls of milk!

UniS Thu 03-Nov-11 20:25:46

DS age 3 in Preschool nativity- cast a Shepherd ( one of many), but he had only been at one rehearsal and wasn;t very sure about teh whole thing. No problem says staff, So I sat with him at teh side near teh other shepherds waiting. Ds started playing with my camera, I let him , he took a few pics of his friends dressed as shepherds. Then it was time for shepherds to move to do their song, DS went with them, with my camera.

He proceeded to stand centre stage taking pictures of the audience.

mollymole Fri 04-Nov-11 10:31:30

My mother worked in a primary school in West Yorkshire and here is the scenario

Mary & Joseph knock at the door of the inn
Innkeeper opens door
Joseph ' do you have room at the inn for my wife and myself'
Innkeeper ' Mary can come in but you can piss off cos I wanted to be Joseph'

bruffin Fri 04-Nov-11 10:59:54

When my niece was little she came home and insisted she had the part of "Inkypatoo" in the nativity. My puzzled dsis kept asking her about the part but she kept insisting she was Inkypatoo!
Turned out she was Inn Keeper 2 grin

Melty Fri 04-Nov-11 12:03:03

DN aged 3y as the innkeeper: You can't come in, we have no room. You have to go to that placesad cue DN screwing up his face as he tried to remember the word stable).
He improvised with "That place where the aminals are" and as poor Mary and Joseph shuffled sadly off with the donkey, he yelled "THE ZOO" and looked very pleased with himself. We were in hysterics.

Melty Fri 04-Nov-11 12:03:41

Didnt mean to do a sad face there!

MrsVoltar Fri 04-Nov-11 12:11:39

grin weeping with laughter at some of these!!

WaitingForMe Fri 04-Nov-11 13:06:53

DSS1's have been great compared to all that!

The first year saw the children sitting down and making big circles with their arms. One little girl made such a big circle that she fell sideways off the stage. What was funny was the start of a laugh that was promptly silenced that emerged from every adult in the audience.

PhylisStein Fri 04-Nov-11 14:12:55

In the final scene - a classic stable scene tableau - the angel gabriel centre stage standing behind Joseph and Mary - picked his nose very obviously during 'Away in a Manger' and wiped the resultant enormous and dangling bogey on the back of Mary's blue veil! grin

mollymole 'mary can come in but you can piss off* has just made me spit lemonade over my conputer screen grin thanks for brightening my day

Afrikasmum Fri 04-Nov-11 16:30:33

Hi, new member here and enjoying all the stories immensely. DS is now a teenager and training to be an actor, but I well remember his first Christmas play when he was cast as one of the grumpy sheep. The look on his face didn't need much acting. However, I digress. Dear little Ruby decided to improvise her lines and marched onto the stage, shouting over her shoulder "Oh, come ON, Joseph".

GeraldineMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 04-Nov-11 16:59:02

Thank you very much to everyone who has posted so far grin

MsBrian Fri 04-Nov-11 17:42:19

ROFL @ these - Inkypatoo ha hahahahha

Sorry MNHQ I don't have a story yet, DS is currently rehearsing for his first ever X-mas play, I'm bound to have something to report after the event....

SolidGoldVampireBat Fri 04-Nov-11 18:12:58

There are a few stories of naughty innkeepers that have almost reached urban legend status - this one was quoted by Jilly Cooper.
Little boy initially cast as Joseph/Angel Gabriel, but misbehaved and was demoted to innkeeper, therefore bided his time until the performance. And then delivered the killer line - 'Yeah, plenty of room, come on in.'

BrigitBigKnickers Fri 04-Nov-11 19:07:01

DD2 was a confident little thing when she was three.

As a result she was picked for the part of the star and given the hallowed job of singing Twinkle Twinkle as a solo.

DD, dressed in silvery sparkles, stepped forward as the introduction started, opened her mouth and...

declaimed loudly "I need a wee wee..."

Her weak bladder was well known the the nursery teachers who all feel over themselves to whisk her off the stage before a puddle ensued. grin

JentlyDoesIt Fri 04-Nov-11 19:59:46

DS was in his first nativity at nursery at the age of 13 months. He was given the partof a donkey. When the time came, he was carried in by one of the nursery staff, dressed in his little grey trousers, t shirt & ears, complete with a little face paint for good measure, it became very apparent that for true authenticity, he had created some "donkey droppings" of his own, immediately before being carried in.

They all sang "little donkey" whilst the green fog surrounded us parents grin blush then he was whisked out for a swift nappy change smile

I should not have read the rest of this thread whilst in a crowded Starbucks earlier... Got some very strange looks grin

serin Fri 04-Nov-11 21:37:51

3 events spring to mind,

The nativity where DS2 ( then a trainee a cathedral choirister) took leave of his senses and loudly baa'ed his way through away in a manger..... that ended his career really. blush

The Christmas concert when DD's pompous headmaster was kneeling in the aisle conducting a carol and 3yr old DS1 broke free, ran down the aisle and jumped on his back, yelling "Aaaargh, I'm a power ranger". Headmaster fell flat on his face and couldn't look at me for months. blush

The local living nativity when Angel Gabriel was meant to abseil down the church bell tower but something went wrong and he was left dangling until the fire brigade rescued him. Like something out of the Vicar of Dibley grin

SolidGoldVampireBat Fri 04-Nov-11 21:49:55

I am so loving this thread. And am not going to spoil it with the not-so-good nativity play trauma that blighted my final year of primary school.

But at least these days you generally don't have to make DC's costumes yourself. I mean, when we got the letter home from nursery the first thing I said to the staff was 'Do we have to make outfits?' and was delighted to hear that they had their own teatowels and sacks lined up.

Tidybush Fri 04-Nov-11 22:03:22

I was helping out with the Christmas play that involved a group of children exchanging presents. They had to open the box their present was in and pretend to be really excited.

In every rehearsal one little boy got the box containing a doll. On the day of the actual public performance he opened his box and exclaimed "oh no, not the bloody doll again". grin

YohoAhoy Sat 05-Nov-11 10:01:18

One year ds was a donkey in a very cute costume. Spent the entire performance sat next to Mary & Joseph, chewing his ears and being sporadically kicked from behind by Joseph. Intermittent hissing from the wings from teachers to stop him, a long pause, then "kick, kick, kick." Kicking wasn't hard and ds was largely unconcerned but as the nativity went on there was more and more suppressed giggling from the audience.

That was the same year Mary delicately sat down and hurled the baby Jesus into the crib with a resounding thump, where it stayed for the evening with only it's little feet showing through the straw. Slightly less well suppressed giggling from audience.

And now I remember that was also the same year one of the Kings, who was a tiny little boy, enthusiastically joined in the singing, and he had the most booming, deep voice. There was a moment of stunned silence from the audience, followed by positively desparate attempts to suppress giggles.

That was a good year grin

Saltire Sat 05-Nov-11 13:26:15

DS2 was a snowman in the nursery school christmas play. His outfit consisted of his dad's white t-shite and a bowler aht and scarf. SO, while the play was going on and he wasn't involved he sat with the t-shirt over his head, with his pants on show. Realising this got a laugh he then sat like that all the more. Then to my utter embarassment, turned round,pulled down his pants and mooned at the audience. of course by the time it was his turn to perform, he decided to do the whole routine with the t-shirt held up to his chest.
blush

Sidge Sat 05-Nov-11 14:27:58

Not mine, but I shared a house after Uni with a girl who'd recently qualified as a primary school teacher.

She came home in fits after their Nativity to tell us that it had all gone spectacularly wrong when the inn-keeper, on being asked if there was room in the inn by Joseph, announced loudly and clearly

"yes! I've got loads of rooms, come in and choose one!"

My DDs school makes sure every child in KS1 has a role in the Christmas Play so we usually end up with 1 Mary, 1 Joseph, 1 Angel Gabriel, 1 baby Jesus, 3 Wise Men, 15 narrators, 18 shepherds, 23 stars, 6 donkeys, 14 sheep, 2 wolves, 3 cows, 9 horses, 7 rabbits and any other random animals they have costumes in the cupboard for. Last year we had a giraffe and a lion too grin

verlainechasedrimbauds Sat 05-Nov-11 14:49:35

DS (aged about three) was one of the three kings at a Nursery School nativity. I think he was just expected to give his "present" to baby Jesus and stand aside looking regal but he clearly felt this wasn't enough and decided to ad-lib: He came in, sighed deeply and said: "I'm sorry we're late but the road was ever so bumpity".

Could not work out why someone in audience at ds3 first play was trying not to laugh

Well ds3 was signing and his lsa not being to good at it and Ds cordination led to instead of signing I am a pig signed your a pig then later on instead signing that teddys black he signed that teddys a prostitute shock

Lesson learnt that the msktoon sign for pig is very similar to calling someone a pig and black in makaton is similar to prostitute
Hence her shaking with laughter after

When DS2 was in reception he was the donkey in the whole school nativity play, he'd been off colour all day but determined he was not going to miss the evening performance. All was going well (even if he had bright red cheeks) until Mary, Joseph and DD2 arrived at the stable. DS2 sat down, as per the script, at Mary's feet and promptly fell asleep. He looked very cute curled up fast asleep until, being full of cold, he started snoring blush.

DS1 was cast as Joseph in the nursery nativity and spent the whole time trying to close baby Jesus' eyes. This came across in the video as him poking baby Jesus in the eyes constantly!

mummymccar Sat 05-Nov-11 19:44:53

When I was 10 I had an ear infection that meant I couldn't hear much at all. During the play I started daydreaming and missed my cue. My teacher started whispering prompts which I obviously couldn't hear. Then louder and louder before he eventually gave up, wrote me a note and brought it on stage. blush

crumpet Sun 06-Nov-11 08:52:22

dd at nursery aged 11 months, and parents were asked to help dress the children from the costumes at the nursery and take them to the hall - dh did this. I arrived in haste from work just after it had started. Lovely tableau with elves dancing, reindeer, snowmen etc....and the pink panther sitting obliviously to one side. Dh's reasoning for this festive costume was that it was a chilly evening and he thought I'd want her to be warm.

aged 2 dd was an angel, tried to kidnap jesus for a cuddle, and when hissed at from the side of the stage threw him back into the manger.

ds made a beautiful page aged 3, but spent the show with his finger up his nose, taking it out only to persuade a fellow page to help him unwrap the presents and play peekaboo with their hats.

rumpleteaser Sun 06-Nov-11 10:47:46

I was a present once when I was a child and had to wear a box with just my red woolly tight clad legs poking out the bottom. My cumbersome costume caused me to fall off the side of the stage.

bruffin Sun 06-Nov-11 10:54:30

Just remembered another
When DS was 3 he was a shepherd, He was sitting around the campfire with the other shepherds, looked at the audience his face crumpled and he howled!. He spent the rest of the show sitting on a teachers lap.

Pagwatch Sun 06-Nov-11 15:22:45

About two years ago DS2 was asked to play Joseph.

I should explain that he is at special school and was 13 or so.

To help the children they had a dress rehearsal in the morning. He put his costume on as did Mary , but they both then figured that they had had enough of the getting changed shit and refused to change for the performance.

So as the audience tried to suspend disbelief they were forced to watch Pagboy and Mary in school uniform looking like a Shameless production. Then Mary dropped baby Jesus and picked him up by his feet and held him limply whilst kicking him in the head. Pagboy picked his fingers or covered his ears and mouthed 'no 'tivity mummy' at me.
It was painful and hilarious all at the same time.

jo164 Sun 06-Nov-11 18:06:05

Haven't read them all, but a friend's daughter thought 'Frank' and 'Merv' the wise men took Gold to Baby Jesus!

Gigondas Sun 06-Nov-11 23:04:20

These are all very good. But where is the poster who has a big problem 2/3 years ago as couldn't get off the Sportacus moustache her ds had drawn on himself with indelible ink

moajab Sun 06-Nov-11 23:07:34

My DSs school is very good at expecting wierd and wonderful costumes from us at very short notice. So when my DS came home from school and announced that he was to be a leopard in the school play that seemed entirely probable and I spent the rest of the evening in a bad mood moaning about how was I going to make a leopard costume. It was only after he went to bed that I realised he meant shepherd!

Gigondas Sun 06-Nov-11 23:07:34
timetosmile Sun 06-Nov-11 23:41:14

Yorkshire, 2008.
Nervous 4yr old Mary, having entered stage right, turns to face the audience. Sweet, but with most of her fingers crammed into her mouth in a self-conscious sort of way.
Loud hiss from 4yr old Joseph.
"Stop it, tha'll get WORMS in tha' BELLY"

fuckityfuckfuckfuck Mon 07-Nov-11 10:36:07

This one was me, in reception year as Mary. I dutifully carried my baby Jesus onto stage only to find that there was already a doll in the manger. Instead if just putting my one on top, I put it on the floor, where it stayed for the rest of the play. It took me a good while to decide what to do as well, we still have the video of me hesitating and looking at my teacher with wide 'what do I DO?????' eyes.

GooseyLoosey Mon 07-Nov-11 11:22:07

I have several:

A ds's first primary school nativity, he still had some chicken pox scabs. He spent the first half of the performance (right at the front of the stage) looking down at his tummy poking scabs. After a while he looked up and caught my eye and I conveyed to him that continued scab picking was not a good idea. For the next few minutes he stood angelically at the front of stage (well he plucked the neighbouring angel's tinsel a few times) but was clearly desperate for something to do with his hand. Inspiration struck and he spent the rest of the nativity with his hand happily down his trousers playing with his willy. I was so proud!

At another pre-school nativity, the three wise men were in dispute as to who would bring frankinsense as none of them could say it. All three shouted out "I bring gold", "so do I" "me too" and then one off the stage claiming victory, leaving the other 2 to haggle vociferously over myrrh.

The final one was where a doll was carefully placed as baby Jesus on stage. A stray sheep (one of the youngest children) tripped over the doll and the others took this as an impromptu football invitation so Jesus was passed around a few sheep before being reclaimed by a slightly flustered teacher.

GeraldineMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 07-Nov-11 12:29:41

Thanks again to everyone who has posted - some cracking stories grin

kweggie Thu 25-Oct-12 10:12:18

when I was school governor, I made the mistake of taking DD1 , just talking, to DS1's Christmas service. I thought if I sat at the back I would be able to slip out unnoticed if DD1 got fidgety. Arrived to find whole population of the county crammed into school gym. They had saved me a place at the FRONT.
DD1 proceeds to comment on anything and everything...
(looking at Christmas tree)'when can we open those presents?WHY aren't they real presents?
(during the readings)' Why don't they show me the pictures? Ask them to show me the PICTURES!' , followed by a little scrap as I try to stop her getting on to stage to look...
(as I am trying to leave discreetly) WHY can't we stay till the end?Are they having the presents NOW?'

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