So When You Are Really Struggling And Can Barely Afford Presents For Your Own Kids How Do You..........................

[magnolia74]

Cope when friends turn up with presents for your kids and you haven't managed to get theirs anything?

I know its about giving and she won't mind me not getting hers anything but Ive been sat here all morning crying because my card was declined and I haven't got hardly anything for dd1 or ds1. Managed to stopped worrying about it then she comes round with presents Cue more stupid blubbing from me

[thesouthsbelle]

oh bless you sweetheart.

do you have things in for buscuits??

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

Where are you Magnolia? Which part of the country? Can I help?

[tulpe]

Agree with thesouthsbelle - could you make some biscuits and decorate as a gift?

[magnolia74]

Nope tax credits don't go in until thursday so can't even get food for Xmas until then.....

At the same time as feeling incredibley sorry for myself I feel so blessed to have my husband and kids and guilty for feeling so lousy

[humptynumpty]

oh no Magnolia. I really feel for you. Was going to say, can you make some sort of arrangement where you "don't do presents this year" but it's a bit late for that. I know my mum did this when I was a kid with some relatives.
Try to focus on your kids and giving them a good xmas. That doesn't mean lots of presents, more having a good time together.
I know it sounds a bit stupid, but do you have a few bits in the cupboard to do with them e.g. decorate some digestive biscuits with icing or melted choc and sweets.
Or making reindeer food or cards or paper chains etc...
Sorry, don't know the ages of your kids to make more suitable suggestions. Your kids will have the best time being with you, not having tons of presents.
Hope you're feeling a bit better and sorry if haven't helped at all!

[magnolia74]

Addicted, thank you but I'm fine. Just need to snap out of feeling crappy

[muggglewump]

Could you invite the other children round for a wee party over Christmas instead?

It needn't cost much. Sandwiches cut into star shapes, some apples dipped into melted choc (steal something from yours kids selection box to melt!), songs and dancing, or a Christmas DVD?

[magnolia74]

I know humpty...its silly things like we were supposed to go to a lovely huge road a few miles away where the lights are fab and father xmas walks the street but no petrol!!

I am taking the kids to local church Xmas morning and we have reindeer food from the school fair so all is not lost.

I'm just feeling stupid for not planning financially better

The thought of scrambling around tesco on Xmas eve!! Luckily hubby will be at home as dragging 5 kids round is a definate no no.

[PlonkerTeatowelOnTheirHeads]

[hugs]

It's a shit time of year to be skint

We've had a really crappy year financially too so I know how hard it is.

I told all but close family that I wouldn't be buying for their dc this year - I felt awful doing it, but hey, I can't afford it and it really is that simple.

Your friends will understand and you can always sort out a little something for their dc when you're in a better financial position.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas x

[magnolia74]

No muggle I could't, I have 5 children and its bedlem here at the best of times. I think I would have a breakdown with more kids

[tulpe]

your friends will understand, Magnolia.

And it is very hard to snap out of feeling crappy at a time when there is so much pressure on us to provide.

Sounds like you also need to take some time for yourself .

[mustrunmore]

Hmmm, I was kind of thinking along the same depressing lines when a friend , at the 11th hour on lastr day of school today, said 'I'll pop round later with the kds presents'. I thought 'oh shit', then I thought, its just tough. WE've never bought anything for xmas before, so I dont know why she has really. Its a lovely sentiment, it really is, but I've got to draw the line somewhere. I bought 3 strings of choc coins for the boys to run round giving to their friends at the end of school, and thats the line!

[magnolia74]

Dh has been trying to get his mum to have the kids but she's too busy

Time for me is impossible at the moment but my mum is back in the new year so will beg her for a bit of babysitting

[abdnhikinginawinterwonderland]

homemade cards? Anything like that to let them know you were thinking of them. My DS1 (3.5) loves the cards his friends have made him but couldn't care less about all the bought ones. It's lovely to see that his natural instincts prefer things his friends made for him.

I just made a close friend a cake as a gift but as you said you're waiting on the tax credits for your grocery shop.

[potplant]

Just be honest with her and say you can't afford it. A true friend will understand.

5 DCs - WOW.

[magnolia74]

I did text her to say thank you and explained money was really tight. She will understand I know....Its my failings that upset me

[nickelbabyjesus]

hand-made cards, hand-made christmas tree decorations (shepherds made from toilet roll tubes and cotton wool, that kind of thing, angels from card and tin foil etc)

are there any of your DCs old toys that you could give? (in good nick of course...)

[coldtits]

You take it on the chin, smile, thank them very sincerely and promise that next year their kids are going to get the most awesome presnt for you.

[dizietsma]

It's not a personal failing to be short of cash!

It is a massive PITA though, we're also broke this xmas, so I know how you feel.

I would be mortified if someone thought that my giving them gifts meant they had to get me something in return, especially if they were short. I'm sure all your friends understand that with 5 kids you wont have a lot of money floating about at xmas.

If it still bothers you, you could always make some sweeties as a wee token gift. I've been making peppermint creams to assuage my feelings of financial inadequacy. They're easy, quick and relatively cheap. You can use animal cookie cutters and decorate as gifts for kiddos.

[magnolia74]

Marmaduke......It was thanks to mumsnet, they had an advert for modelling for Closer magazine was a great experience.
I look older, more stressed and more wrinkled now

[magnolia74]

I don't enjoy Xmas anymore (my nan died 23rd dec 5 years ago tomorrow) and so I try to put everything i can into it for my kids. My mum struggles too as it was her mum but she has gone to America so can't even have her support.
Poor dh is wondering why I'm bursting into tears at the slightest thing must explain when he gets back from dog walk.

Sorry really needed to vent that!

[CherryChristmasEveryone]

oh mag, sweetie, can i do anything to help? whereabouts are you? even if its something small like bringing a box of chocs, or a couple of quid for petrol. thinking of you xxx

[Earthstar]

Make it the best christmas ever...just spend time with the kids doing what they want to do, making stuff from junk, playing games, anjoying the stuff you already have...It may be a blessing in disguise to get out of the materialism stuff even if just for one year!

[magnolia74]

Cherry thanks but its ok, the car can stay put we have legs and i do have a tin of heroes and a bottle of wine from the school fair tombola so will be chilling later and counting my blessings

Writing it down has helped so much though!