How involved is your dh / dp in the whole Christmas thing?

[HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst]

I mean everything, from choosing (and buying) presents, to tree, decorations, food etc.
Because mine is acting like it's all got nothing to do with him and I'm getting the impression that (once again) it's all up to me to organise, think about and actually do.
And then, come Christmas Eve, he will suddenly think of random people he would like presents for, go rushing off to get expensive, badly-thought-out last minute gifts for them, while I get nothing, and ds gets what I've chosen and bought.

I don't mind the organising and doing, actually, I'm happy to be the one getting stuff, but I would like him to be involved in at least the choosing and deciding. And I've specifically asked him if there is anyone he would like to get gifts for this year (apart from those we always do) and he's said no. Yet I am willing to put money on the above scenario occuring come the 24th...

Is it just my dh who is like this? Has Christmas become something women do, without me noticing?

Or have you all got cheery dh's who wear lumberjack shirts while heading out to the forest with the kids to chop down the family Christmas tree, before coming home to make mulled wine for everyone and then spend the evening wrapping presents that you've lovingly chosen together? (am making myself jealous just thinking about it )

[KristinaM]

mine buys the tree and put it up

might even put the lights on

end of

[Goober]

He agrees with everything I say as anything else means he would need an opinion.

[fleacircus]

DP is always very involved in the food, and can be relied upon for planning, shopping and cooking (we're going to my parents but he is cooking on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day). He has not noticeably done any Christmas shopping though - and did just say "I've completely lost track of it all, as far as I can tell we just seem to buy about 50 random presents a day". Given that so far we have bought one present each for DD1 and DD2, and I have bought presents for my family without requiring any input from him at all, I am finding this response a little baffling.

[Francasaysrelax]

Not that much involved.
He helps putting the tree up and thinks of presents for his parents, sometimes my father... that's it.

But he tidies up on xmas day, which is a plus

[allaboutme]

I do all the choosing and buying..
He pays

[MrsJohnDeere]

Mine does/will do next to nothing. He has ordered meat and will collect it and cook it (hopefully).

Presents for everyone except me (and almost all of them are for his family), tree, decorations, food shopping, etc lie with me. If I ask his opinion on anythoing Christmas related he just says he doesn't care and I should do what I think best.

[Bonsoir]

Ha! This is a very topical thread, as DP rang (he is away on business tonight) a couple of hours ago, and I told him that I had been shopping for Christmas today and had now finished buying tree and table decorations and had made some more headway on presents. We are having Christmas here - my parents will be staying for five days/nights, my sister and family are coming on Christmas Day and DP's parents on Christmas Eve, so I have a lot of catering and entertaining to organise.

DP replied that he was worried about what to buy his parents.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Every year, DP expends 99% of the totaly energy he expends on Christmas worrying about what to buy his parents. There is no need for him to worry, as once I put my mind to it (about 0.5% of my total Christmas energy expenditure) I always find them a fab present that they are very pleased with.

So I took the opportunity to point this out to him... not sure whether it will have actually sunk in since it is not the first time I have tried to make him understand that the whole of Christmas does not revolve around him picking a present for his parents...

[fishflange]

Not at all. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. AND I pay for it all out of the housekeeping making me very poor but if I didn't the kids wouldn't get anything.
Come to think of it he's a bit of a knob really.

[hobbgoblin]

My DP seems concerned about being concerned with tree purchasing, alcohol purchasing and then ensuring he has these significant tasks under his belt well in time for sitting in the pub on xmas eve whilst I wrap presents til God Knows When.

He will shop for his DC the last shopping day and not purchase any 'little bits' for stockings. They'll get one big thing such as bike or scaletrix so as to avoid any unnecessary exertion.

Mine tidies up on the day too in a psychotic 'I'm getting peed off with all this wrapping paper everywhere it is spoiling my enjoyment of the feeling that I have Nothing To Do'' sort of way.

I wouldn't mind so much but he considers me as though I am slightly deranged for actually spending any time on planning or executing 'Xmas' and wonders why I am not in the pub with him or snoozing on the sofa while the Turkey cooks itself.

He does help with some things I don't really remember such as loading the dishwasher. The list of his chores is engulfed by the list of his xmas indulgences however.

[Bonsoir]

DP is Jewish, as are his parents, so why he is quite so concerned about their Christmas present is even more annoying mysterious.

[Francasaysrelax]

To be honest Bonsoir, we do spend Christmas at his parents or relatives. But of course it's always the women of the family (mil, her sister, me, sil etc) who think about the menu, cook, and generally manage the whole thing...

It is a very much a female affair Christmas here... men tend to eat a lot and go for a nap after luch

[DuelingFanjo]

My DH loves Christmas. get's a big christmas tree every year and sets it all up for when I get back from work, though waits for me to decorate it. it's always too big.

We had an agreement that i buy all the pressies for the women in his family (except for his mum) and he buys for the blokes.

He tends to go for 3 for 2 offers where I am more likely to think about what I get. So the SILs get nice pressies and his brothers get your bog standard Sainsbury gifts

Mostly I pay for my family and he pays for his. I send cards and he doesn't.

[StrictlyBoogying]

My DH only wants to know what things cost. When he Xmas shops he's very generous so I don't get it!

[Francasaysrelax]

Lunch.

[Bonsoir]

DP is so uninvolved with Christmas that he gets bored by it. I keep telling him that if he participated a bit more he would find it less tedious...

[ConnorTraceptive]

Nothing in regards to purchasing presents but that's fine I like to choose what to buy without him moaning about prices.

DH is in charge of trees and decorations and basically all on the day toy building and clearing up and generally all the dross that I don't want to do!

[DuelingFanjo]

Oh and we plan what we're eating together but I cook it.

[madrush]

I do all the planning, choosing, buying, writing cards, tree decorating, working dds into a frenzy of excitement.

DH paces the house looking for toys to throw away to make space for new ones and stressing over the size of items that I buy.

However, he works long hours full-time, I only work a few mornings and so I have more time generally to devote to it and spend much more time with the dds - so I do have more of a clue about what'll go down well.

If we have Christmas day at ours we always cook together (although I'll have done the planning and shopping of course). And he'll have the packaging destroyed before we've decided if the toys actually work or not.

DH will randomly decide that friends that he hasn't seen for 5 years or so need cards this year, a day or 2 after last posting. Sometimes they become Happy New Year cards!

He will buy a gift for me as late in Dec as I can bear to walk him to the shops and point him at them. But I think know he loves me really

[Francasaysrelax]

On the other hand, my dad loves dressing up as Santa to surprise the children in the family... .

[madoldbat]

DH goes out, kills the tree and erects it. Eats the grub. Moans about the cost. All over til next year. Ho ho ho, goodwill to all men (not)

[TheArmadillo]

I'm so glad I have my dp.

He sorts out all the christmas decorations and puts them up.

He's more than willing to do the boring parts of christmas dinner (i.e. chopping and peeling). He helps me plan what we are having.

Both of us decide who to buy for and what to buy and then we'll both go out and get bits. He's not good at deciding what to get for extended family but very good at choosing for me/ds/close family/friends.

Also he does most the wrapping as he is anal about it very good at it.

[Bonsoir]

I could forgive overlook DP's total failure at contributing in any way other than financially to Christmas if he were any good at entertaining everyone else at Jewish festivals, birthday parties etc. But he's complete rubbish at them all.

I had to have a go at him after DD's recent birthday party to explain to him yet again that he isn't a guest at parties in his own home and mustn't wait for me to introduce him to people or offer him a glass of champagne...

[SixtyFootDoll]

Like your OP has no involvemnet at all.
Apart from eating and drinking all the stuff that i have bought

[SoMuchToBits]

I do all the planning, shopping, buying and cooking of food, all the tree ordering and decorating, all the card buying, writing and posting/delivering, all the present buying, wrapping and posting/delivering, all the cleaning house etc before the visitors arrive.

Dh buys a present for me.

That's about it!

If I'm lucky some of my family who are staying help with the washing up, clearing away and distributing drinks (my sister is very good at this sort of thing).

[HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst]

Oh you lot have cheered me up no end!

This is so very reassuring to hear.
Men, eh?