Grandma too poorly to come for Christmas day, how can we make the day special for her when we visit?

(6 Posts)
Monroe Sat 19-Nov-16 17:07:26

My gran's health has massively deteriorated this past year. She hasn't left home apart from to be admitted to hospital since Christmas day last year. We would love her to come for Christmas day but she is far too frail and she quite frankly doesn't want to as she would find it extremely difficult and would exhaust her.

So the plan is to go to her for part of the day but we'd like to make it special.

We won't be able to do Christmas dinner there. She lives in a very small 1 bed bungalow, has a two seater couch and armchair so there is no room for everyone to sit for a meal. Plus she hates eating in front of people and has a tiny appetite.

There will be 6 of us in total, we plan on taking gifts and opening them with her. Any ideas for other little things we could do?

I hate to think it but it is quite probably her last Christmas with us and she has been a massive part of my life, I want it to be special for her too sad

recklessgran Sat 19-Nov-16 17:26:52

Just seeing you will make her happy. By the sounds of it an hour or so will be enough. It would probably be better for her if you went earlier in the day as she will probably tire as the day goes on. Could you make her a little stocking of wrapped gifts to leave with her when you are going so that she can open them later on. If you have DC's could they sing a couple of Christmas songs/carols for her? In terms of something to eat you could take a plate of bits and pieces for her to pick at during the day. In my own experience it is things like that that will mean something to her. I did a similar thing with my own granny and went back alone in the evening to have a little chat and night cap and help her to bed. She really loved that, even though when I suggested it beforehand she flatly refused and said I would be far too busy to worry about her. I went anyway and am so glad I did as she appreciated the one to one as she found too many people at once a bit overpowering. The important thing is that she will know how much she is loved. That is very obvious from your post!

Monroe Sat 19-Nov-16 17:52:56

Thank you Reckless, some lovely ideas.

We are planning on going around 11am, me DH, DM and DC'S 10 and 6. We are making her up a treat hamper, she has a very sweet tooth and her gifts. I agree she will probably tire easily especially with a couple of over excited sweetie fuelled kids! Just don't want it to feel like a regular Sunday afternoon visit. Might take some crackers too and get her to wear a daft hat for a bit.

She's a bit too far for me to go back in the evening but is only round the corner from DM so she will definitely pop back in the evening and share a wee dram with her

Thank you

JamieVardysParty Sat 19-Nov-16 18:07:25

I'd take some paper and crayons for the kids and get them to draw Christmas pictures with her. Do you have any photos from Christmases in the past, when you were kids etc and you could talk through them with your kids?

Ask her about her Christmas traditions. Maybe if your kids will be in a nativity, they could "re-enact" their part - I have hilarious memories of my DBro as a 6 year old showing a dear elderly aunt his part as a Christmas tree grin.

OhYouBadBadKitten Sat 19-Nov-16 18:12:17

can you make sure that she has some decorations up? and maybe play a silly game of charades - but keep it very short.

Monroe Sat 19-Nov-16 18:46:59

We are going to put up a small tree and her decorations the first weekend in December.

Games are difficult for her at the moment as she has mobility issues and poor eyesight but it would definitely be good to have a play of something I agree

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