Making Christmas Special for 11 & 14 yr old

[pilates]

So now Father Christmas isn't on the agenda, how do you still make it special?

[traviata]

The upside of being older is that they can stay up later and can cope with crowds. So being outside after dark is the key, I think, and making indoors very cosy and sparkly.

We will be doing outdoor Ice skating, Christmas fairs, having a fire and toasting marshmallows, lots of fairy lights everywhere, making edible gifts for family (can start foraging now for eg sloe gin), maybe making crackers, making wreaths (National Trust), board games with Christmas music on, special hot chocolate, visiting National Trust places with traditional decorations, walks in the woods when it is frosty. We will do loads of sledging if it snows.

we are going to a show of A Christmas Carol, and a comedian.

Have you seen this thread about days out and treats?

[myotherusernameisbetter]

When they were little we used to go to an afternoon show and maybe swimming or something to tire them out. as they got older, there were less shows and things that were suitable so we've always done a Christmas trip out to the cinema and for a meal - usually meal then cinema so they can have the ice-cream etc at the cinema as their pudding. We've done the Hobbit movies every year but not sure what we will do this year now that they are all finished.

Christmas eve we have a movie and they are allowed a snowball made very weak (it helps them sleep).

[BiddyPop]

My plan - for probably next year (still have a nominal believer at least) is to:
Still put up tree and decorations as a family event (but any who do not want to participate are not forced into it)
Still have youngest light Christmas Candle on Christmas Eve
Still do new PJs before bed on Christmas Eve

Still leave out stocking for DD - but add in stockings for DH and I. DD will be allowed put things into ours, but DH and I will mostly fill the other one's, and we will fill DD's too. For fruit, sweets, a book, some useful bits and pieces, and some funny stuff. As a FAMILY thing not an FC thing.

Still do special baking for Christmas - but again allowing those not wanting to participate to opt out.

Last year, we went to a "Carols by Candlelight" concert in town, in the evening, and had dinner in a restaurant before it. Worked very well and DD felt quite grown up being out that late (she was almost 9). But also enjoying the bustle of evening in town was nice.

I plan on getting a few more grown up board games over the next couple of years, to enjoy together. Things like games nights with big bowls of popcorn or crisps and nice drinks, and being sociable together.

Enjoying more grown up tv and movies together.

Making home a cosy and relaxed place to be, but with no expectations. So they can feel free to curl up with a book, or play on the computer, or have friends over, and not have to be "Little Miss Jolly" in with the grown ups - yes they must be polite and acknowledge visitors are present, and come to greet family etc - but they can slope off to their rooms too at times, and not every hour is scheduled with "fun" but there is time to relax by the fire companionably or alone.

[LibidinousSwine]

Pretty much what traviata said. If I'm brutally honest I prefer it now the pretence has gone. Admittedly the day itself and the obligatory visit to see Father Christmas was lovely but the months of charade in the run up was really quite tedious.

At 11 DS is able to appreciate spending time as a family, trips out, staying up late etc. And a late night means he will lie in the next day, there's no wrangling of an overtired toddler anymore :)

Meals out are another nice idea, if that's not something you normally do as a family.

We have three dogs so are always traipsing about the countryside. However we make a special point of going up The Big Hill near us, all the dogs and all of us with hot chocolate and Christmas cake for the top. Another thing that would have been intolerable with a youngster.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

We do do meals out at other times but the thing about the Christmas one is to make sure we are out all evening rather than out for an hour to eat and back home - we also don't quibble on extra drinks and puddings etc which we might if it's just a "lets have tea out tonight" type of thing.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

They can enjoy the build up more too because they aren't as focused on the day itself.

Ours know when they finish school (and the obligatory School Christmas Jumper Day ) that there's a few relaxing days until Christmas itself.

My DD likes a shopping trip with her mates.
And they are aware that it all takes planning (and work).

It all kicks off with the switching on of the Lights in town, by some local celebrity (though they can't top the year Twist&Pulse did the honours )

[pilates]

Thanks, some lovely ideas here.

Funnily enough, they still enjoy the pantomime so will get that booked up.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

My 15 and 14 year old are still up for the Panto too - but we didn't start going until 3 years ago - I'd never fancied it before and we'd always done other types of Christmas shows such as puppet things etc.

[NeverNic]

As a kid I remember my parents buying us tickets to a music concert instead of going to see FC and we were devastated! We were way past believing, but didn't enjoy them pulling the tradition! Ask them as there maybe something babyish you used to do, that they secretly love. Like maybe going on a Christmas light walk. National Trust houses might also have festive displays on that they might enjoy