Would it be PA of me to send this

[Ahardyfool]

This afternoon's activity is Xmas card writing of all the neighbour's cards.

We have a German Pointer who is extremely well behaved and quiet. We live in a very naice road with a very naice house to our right. Kenneth and Patricia live in it and they are on our cards list even though the only contact we've had is early morning waves through the shrubbery and reciprocal parcel taking when either of us aren't around for deliveries.

Yesterday at approx. 8pm we let the dog out for a wee and she must've heard next door doing something outside in the dark and as they are normally almost undetectable in their presence she had a bark for about 3 mins.

Now, we are flanked by dog inhabited houses pretty much every other house for at least a mile in either direction. Kenneth and Patricia's neighbour's have a Labradoodle that barks ALL the time and a few doors the other way have a springer that lives outside and is a bit of a guard dog so barks like a mofo if anyone walks past.

Our dog is a dog and so barks occasionally but I have to say it is rare. She doesn't bark at the postman, dustmen, etc. but does bark if anyone is doing any lurky behavior outside at night. She also barks if Kenneth and Patricia's cat positions herself just outside of her reach and starts to stare her out from their shed. I bring our dog in if this happens so the cat can't 'win' and so we don't have a long barking session.

So all in all, there's a little barking but it's reasonable and never late at night or early in the morning. fGs she is a dog. This is dog-world countryside.

Yesterday a male voice - presumably Kenneth's - growled "shut the fuck up" into the night presumably aimed at our dog. The dog and I went inside feeling a little awkward and a little shocked as, trust me, Kenneth is not the sort I had down as a "shut the fuck up" utterer.

Anyway, I've chosen a card (changed it from the original selection of a Quentin Blake menagerie style Xmas card to one with nothing mor offensive than a robin on it) and was wondering whether to send a note inside saying "I'm sorry you felt the need to yell "shut the fuck up" due to our dog barking. Please be assured we are very conscious of not creating a nuisance and please let us know if this is bothering you, although you may be confusing some of her barking with that of your other neighbour's dog who even annoys us at times. Happy Xmas!"

I can pretty much predict that Patricia will be disappointed in Kenneth for using the f word even if she is equally irritated by dog noise.

How can we resolve this before it escalates?

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Nice try, but it's not really that funny 2/10.

Now assuming you're serious: of course you don't put that in a card.

[billiejeanbob]

Is this a wind up?

[WipsGlitter]

By getting a grip?

Or, you know, going round and actually talking to them?

[RoundYonPreMadonna]

Don't be silly.

My dog barks. The neighbours dogs bark. I tell all of them to shut the fuck up.

[KatieKaye]

I referred to a neighbours very obese cat as "fat boy" in earshot of a third party. The third party is now not talking to me!
Are you related to her?

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

I think not sending a Quentin Blake card is sufficient. That should rub their foul-mouthed noses in it when they presumably compare cards with the neighbours and realise the robin is a snub

[Ahardyfool]

blimey! Didn't realise that this AIBU would release quite so much Christmas angst a few replies in! Silly me for posting in 'Christmas' instead of AIBU...

Can I presume from some of the replies that writing Xmas cards is 299th on the 'to do' list and I just hit a nerve?

[scarletforya]

I wasted at least two minutes of my life reading that! Ffs!

[Ahardyfool]

Katiekaye, I'm just trying to think back to whether they could've heard me saying to DP that their cat seemed a bit 'up itself'...

[delaselva]

"dogs bark" doesn't help me much when I'm lying in bed listening to the fuckers bark. Can't stand it. If you live in earsshot of other people you shouldn't have a dog imo.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

Yes really get a grip. I'm not a swearer either, but have you seen some of my posts on here? I've wanted to shout shut the fuck up to my own DS at 5.15 in the morning. I just said it on here instead.

[TheReluctantCountess]

Don't put it in the Christmas card - it'll cause more problems long term.

[dickiedavisthunderthighs]

The time you spent on here putting together this oh so carefully composed OP could have been spent apologising to your neighbour. 3 mins of barking is a fuckload.

[Ahardyfool]

Come on scarletdforya the whole point of reading Mumsnet threads once the children have broken up is to avoid getting the glitter out. However banal.

[SweetsForMySweet]

It's a one off so leave it, no need for you to over react. If you've been getting along well, it is not worth falling out over IMO. He doesn't want to listen to a barking dog when he is using his yard. Had you told the dog to stop barking/tried to bring your dog inside or were you letting him bark outside?

[Ahardyfool]

Ugh #fail

[NotEvenAnEnormouseStirred]

This is a complete non issue though I loved the finely nuanced detail of the (probably, completely imaginary) scenario:

• Kenneth and Patricias naice house.
  
• The various dogs of dog world.
  
• The Quentin Blake illustration on the card.
  

I particularly liked the phrase 'barks like a mofo'

[BoulevardOfBrokenSleep]

At 8pm on the last Saturday before Christmas?! It was probably someone having a drunken post-office party shag on poor Kenneth's wheelie bins, and he is entirely blameless in the profanity yelling.

[NotEvenAnEnormouseStirred]

boulevard I read that as post office shag .

But I agree, if it happened it could be anybody yelling about anything. Not necessarily Kenneth yelling at your dog. So putting it in a card is frankly ridiculous, even a Quentin Blake card.

[Coumarin]

Well I liked your tale Ahardy

I'd be at anyone swearing at my dog but a one off wouldn't be worth mentioning.

Maybe he'd had a row with Patricia and had drank too much of the 2003 dated Sherry he'd found in the Christmas Cupboard.

3 mins of barking once in a blue moon is nothing btw.

[Ahardyfool]

Well it was all true however crafted my message seemed. The only part that perhaps wasn't was the reality of me adding that note to the Xmas card. It was a devious thought that crossed my mind. Just back from 3 hours out with the dog so hopefully she will be too sleepy to think of barking this evening. DP just made me a hot chocolate so I can sit and now write the cards. He said we should just send them one and not mention it which is what I'll do.

I hope that the "stf" was accidentally overheard rather than PA on Kenneth's part as if far rather they spoke to us about it if there's a problem. Mind you, he is surrounded by doggy families so maybe he should think on that for a moment and be glad that is all he has to worry about.