When to stop FC pretence

[AugustaGloop]

DDs are getting on a bit now (DD1 starting senior school!). Although it is obvious they no longer believe in father Christmas, it has never 100% been expressly acknowledged. They kind of like the whole pretence even though they know it is not real - the excitement of the stocking in the morning (from FC - presents from us and others under the tree which are opened after lunch).

We have not directly lied to them about it, at least since they were of an age where we would not expect them still to believe but they have not asked the direct question (although have made some comments in our hearing which mean we know they don't believe but we have not taken the opportunity to expressly confirm this just smiled knowingly etc). we have kind of concluded that because they have not asked directly they want the status quo to continue.

But there must come a time when it is ridiculous still to pretend even though it is a funny kind of pretence where we all know no-one believes it? We would not spend less and would probably still give them a stocking so they have something first thing, but the balance between stocking and other presents would change and we would acknowledge the stocking was from us (to stop him getting credit for my very thoughtful purchases!). It would also mean that I could take a bit less care about the secrecy of buying things and where to hide them and ensuring different wrapping paper is used for the FC presents etc

I cant remember when the pretence was stopped when I was younger, although we were a wide range of ages so it was probably acknowledged between myself and my parents that I no longer believed while as a household the FC thing continued for youngest sister's benefit.

DDs are very close in age and DD2 is more knowing so if anything she probably worked it out first!

[Vitalstatistix]

I think when they start asking questions about it, it's time to be honest.
If they never do ask the question, then there comes a time when you just have to change the way you talk about it so that it is clear that it is a lovely story that makes it fun and that you play along for the little children, but that you all know it isn't actually real.
And stop hiding them so well, just wrap them up and let them know you are going xmas shopping, etc and ask them what's on their list, all that sort of stuff. Talk about "we" instead of "santa"
Get them involved in christmas prep.

[AugustaGloop]

I suspect the reason they are not asking the question is that they are worried the presents will reduce, but also because they enjoy the whole pretence.
On the other hand, we do get comments like "I saw the paper FC wrapped our presents in last year in your bathroom cupboard" with a knowing smile, to which I will respond with a smile in turn and maybe a throw away comment. I just cant bring myself to say "well, that is because i wrapped the presents because he is not real" even though I know they know that.

Also, most of their presents come from us rather than FC who just provides a (admittedly quite generous) stocking. Stocking tends to be the surprises and presents on their list come from us. I suspect they enjoy the surprises most!

I suspect gradual is the way to go, until they do say something directly.

[TravellingToad]

I"m not sure we ever stopped. My sister and I knew he wasn't real, my parents knew, but we will got our stocking from Santa! If you're all happy it doesn't need to stop

[TheImprobableGirl]

Nope, not stopped here. I'm 24 and still believe- otherwise I might not get a stocking. Admittedly I do my own stocking now (and dh, dd1 and dd2) but it was never formally acknowledged.

It's always easier to keep up the pretence for younger ones this way I found- especially with a large extended family with lots of small people!

[TheImprobableGirl]

having just done some maths I am actually 25.... Soon to be 26

[lotusisaddictive]

We've never stopped and I'm 30! My dad still makes us write a letter to Santa on Christmas Eve which we then burn on the back step, even makes my 35 yr old DP.

Now that my sister and I have our own children it makes it even more special that my parents still do these things .

[OwlCapone]

Why on earth does it have to stop?

[OwlCapone]

they enjoy the whole pretence.

So why take that away given both you and they know it's just a pretence?

[Reepits]

My kids have been brought up with no Santa, and can't believe in a age of science, why people believe and propagate that crap.

If your kids said jesus was real most would be up in arms.

[OwlCapone]

My kids have been brought up with no Santa, and can't believe in a age of science, why people believe and propagate that crap.

How nice for them that they have so little imagination and understanding of others

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

Mine (14.6 and 12) have been in the realms of sceptical for many many years , but we still do The Tray and The NORAD tracking --because we can

DS will say "I'll just ask Favva Christmas (Essex Boy) " when I tell him No you cannot have - little toad

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

ImprobableGirl Lying about your age Indeed

Well that's YOU in The Naughty Book, eh?

[MirandaWest]

If you all have a tacit knowledge that you know it's you then I don't see why you need to say anything explicitly.

[insanityscratching]

Well my eldest is 27 and my youngest 11 and Father Christmas still brings a stocking for each of them. Of course they know it's not really Father Christmas but the only time I mooted stopping the stockings, you would have thought I'd suggested butchering a reindeer and so they remain.

[KnackeredMuchly]

My Mum stopped. I remember thinking "shit, less presents!" (there weren't)

Don't know why she stopped. My DH now helps Santa, sorting out his mince pie etc before bed I have fun. Think I will never stop with my children.

I hope they never outright ask me!

[TheImprobableGirl]

I know I know- Tis a sign of senility 70isalimit I have gone up an 'age bracket' on government forms too. But occasionally I tick the lower just to cheat the system

[waithorse]

TheImprobable. Great name btw.

[MinesAPintOfTea]

DSiL and I had FiL pretend a couple of years back (mince pie and cherry left when we went to bed, pillowcases of presents appearing in the morning).

As long as they know, keep up the game whilst you're all happy and ask who is going to fill your stocking

[TheImprobableGirl]

Why thank you. I assume you are the wait monkey in disguise? (I am the former bigbadwolefplum of thread theft fame

[ClashCityRocker]

Oh gosh, we got Santa stockings right up until the time we left home!

And I still have advent calendars.

[TheFantasticMrsFox]

DS did ask me outright last year when he was 9. Until very recently he had totally believed but a move to middle school that entailed a school bus full of 9-18 year olds sowed seeds of doubt, and as a logical sort of child he just put two and two together.
However we still hung out stockings, tracked Santa via NORAD (for DM to see :o) and left out mince pies, a carrot and port. The only difference was that the carrot stayed whole because my old Rottweiler always did carrot crunching duties (as her teeth looked most reindeer like!) and she was PTS 11 months before. It was a bit sad to see it still there but seemed quite fitting in a way

[BiddyPop]

Anyone who sleeps in my parents house on Christmas Eve is welcome to put out a pair of socks if they still believe, and it still gets filled with fruit, sweets and a book. DFS always says anyone who doesn't believe is welcome to not put out a stocking, but none of my siblings who stay there have yet tested that. The youngest who still is at home some years turns 30 next week! The eldest of those is 39, home every year, and gets new reading material every year!

Dd may already be very very sceptical, she's very logical, and usually black and white but has not actually talked about it yet. I will be going the same route with her, and indeed, adding in stockings for DH and I at that point (I was debating doing a stocking this year for DH and I, that dd would help
P Me with, not from Santa but a surprise for Christmas morn, but I might leave it another year).

[sweetsomethings]

I honestly will never stop i dont think i just love the magic of it all.

[MrsBungle]

It never stopped at my mum's house. I was still getting a stocking when I was 30 and had been married for 3 years! "Santa" brought one for dh too. It only stopped when my mum died. She loved Christmas and never stopped all the "magical" stuff. We never had a conversation where it was discussed about whether he was real or not I still won't admit he's not and at 36 lie in bed on Christmas Eve thinking I can hear sleigh bells

[NickNackNooToYou]

I remember one year watching NORAD and freaking out that FC was in France. I was 36!