Told my 8 yo DS Santa doesn't exist. Feel terrible

[fairyteapot]

My DS hasn't been himself for a few days and I sensed something was bugging him. Tonight at bedtime (stocking on end of bed of course) he was tense and upset so we had a chat. The Santa stuff came out. I told him the truth (which the kids at school have done already). He was sad but I didn't feel like lying anymore. Didn't see how I could. I hope he's not damaged for life with trust issues etc! Hopefully he'll perk up in morning when he sees his stocking ...

[Christmaspuddingaddict]

They all have to find out some time. I'm sure he will be absolutely fine in the morning!

[goodtimesinbontemps]

Poor kid, Christmas Eve is a crap time to break the news to him, could you not have held on a bit longer :(.

[CointreauVersial]

Don't be daft; I'm sure he already worked it out.

I certainly remember knowing from the age of 5 that Santa didn't exist (coming downstairs one evening to find the Rotary Club Santa, aka DM's mate Tony, sitting in the living room in his red outfit and his beard off, enjoying a beer ), and DM didn't believe in prolonging the fantasy. But I still had all the excitement of Christmas, waiting for the stocking (even though I knew it was DM), the family fun, the lovely atmosphere.....

He probably worked the tooth fairy out too.

[Flojobunny]

Aww I feel sad for him. My DS is 8 and he still believes though has started to have doubts. I won't 'break the news' I'll just get more sarcastic with my responses. "Does santa exist?" "A man is a red suit who can get to billions of home around the world in one night? Of course he does" wink.
Not some major 'talk'.

[queenofthepirates]

Hmmmm.. my parents have never had the chat with me and continue to perpetuate the myth to much aplomb. I'm 38 and whilst I know the 'truth', it's a lovely family tradition.

Based on that, no need to break the bad news! Go on... tell him you've made a mistake and give it another year (or 30).

[Katieweasel]

Same for us this evening. Went to get the special plate for Santa's mince pie and the carrots for the reindeer and DS said not to worry because he knew the truth. Could have cried. I only have the one and now that special bit of christmas is over.

[StillWearingOddSocks]

Don't worry - you will have a wonderful christmas. See the letter at the link from mum to kid when they 'discovered'

[StillWearingOddSocks]

Bah - sorry - here is link moms.popsugar.com/Telling-Kids-Truth-About-Santa-27332439

[Familyjustice]

Off course Santa exists! I believe in Fairies too ;-)

[JemimaMuddledUp]

DS1 is now 11, but I have had my suspicions that he hasn't believed for a couple of years. He admitted this year that he didn't, even though most of his friends still do.

I was a little bit sad, but we have actually had a really lovely Christmas Eve. He is really keen to help keep the magic going for DS2 and DD, and asked if he could help to fill their stockings (and eat Santa's mince pie).

DS2 wrote a note to Santa and left it with the mince pie. DS1 has taken the note to midnight mass with him (he and DH have gone with the PIL) to ask someone whose writing DS2 won't recognise to write a reply. Which I think is lovely.

So instead of spoiling the magic it has sort of created a new magic

[WeAllHaveWings]

Put ds(9) to bed tonight and he said "mum, are you Santa?" (With a mischievous grin) I asked him if I needed to sort out my moustache, he burst out laughing and that was it, end of conversation.

I don't lie to him, asking him if he wants to write a Santa letter isn't lying, i'm sure he knows he's not real but I have no intention of ever having a big sit down and reveal all if it can be avoided, would like us to keep the pretence up together. I think he's twigged it's something fun to do at Xmas.

[HicDraconis]

There was a lovely post on here last year? Year before? where someone posted a thoughtful paragraph on Does Santa Exist?

I wish I'd kept it, but the gist of it was that while parents ate mince pies leaving lots of crumbs, scattered sparkly oats by the door, filed stockings at 3am, wrote letters back ... Santa and the Christmas Magic was always real.

I haven't explained it very well but it was lovely, sort of echoing Jemina's story.

[HicDraconis]

(as opposed to the physics answer which works out number of children, distances, times and speed required and works out that to achieve them, the reindeer would spontaneously combust - thus if Santa did exist once, he's dead now!)

[whitsernam]

OP - please don't feel bad about telling him the truth. When I was only 5 my father played Santa at a company party, and I ran around loudly telling the other kids that it was my Dad!!! So even my younger sister found out that year..... It's not as big a deal to kids as adults sometimes think it is, and if a kid is asking, I bet they already really do know.

[callmekitten]

This year, DH and I decided that it was time to tell DD (9, almost 10) about Santa. We really emphisized the spirit of Santa and told her that Santa is real, it's just that Santa isn't just one person. We also told her how Santa developed historically and that St. Nick was a real person. We played up the idea that now that she knew the secret, she would be able to help "play the Santa game."

Well, she was upset for a few days and repeatedly told us that she wished we hadn't told her, but after that, she got into the swing of things. She started calling herself "Little Santa" and would remind us that "Little Santa is watching" if she thought we were doing something wrong. She enjoyed helping pick out a few Santa presents for her Dad and also had some good Elf on the Shelf ideas. DD chose to do many of the things that she has always done for Christmas, like write a letter to Santa and go to bed before the gifts were put out.

When I first told some friends that we were planning to talk to DD about this, even though she was not giving any indication that she had questions, many of them were horrified that we would not wait for her to figure it out on her own. But, I'm really glad we did it the way we did. It gave us a chance to guide the conversation a bit and show her that Christmas can still be fun.

I think your DS will be fine. Maybe take a quiet moment with him the next few days to have a more thorough conversation with him about it.

[ZeViteVitchofCwismas]

yes sorry op, i think i would have waited till the new year too.

[mumeeee]

Think you should have left it until the New year but as he was asking that might have been difficult. All mine worked it out themselves. The one who believed until she was 11 wasn't bothered by her peers telling her he wasn't real she would just ignore them or say well I think he is. I think it helped that in our family only stockings came from FC same with my brother and sisters children so they weren't massively disappointed when they found out.

[JodieGarberJacob]

Can't believe people are so serious about giving the 'talk' and the 'truth'! My dds still leave out notes for Santa and food that I eat and leave crumbs etc. Santa always writes back and thanks them. My youngest (16) likes quizzing me on Santa. E.g. This year why did Santa have the same writing paper as us and also why does his handwriting get more like mine every year! ( answers : he forgot to bring his own writing paper as he was in a hurry and sometimes he dictates what he wants to say and gets me to write it instead. Lazy Santa!)