What do you do if you have done all the christmas shopping and then your child changes their mind??

[Marne]

I have finished buying for dd2, have got her quite a bit (mostly things she has been asking for over the past 2 months) but now she has asked for something totally different. Dd2 has ASD and gets very obsessive about things but she loves playing with most thing so I have bought her a range of things including the Moshi Monster Mall (which she still wants), some playmobil , some lego friends (small sets) and some bongo drums (as she loves drums), but now she has become totally obsessed with pokemon because this is what her sister is obsessed with and has asked for a pokemon carry case and some figures.

So do I just buy her the case and figures and maybe put one of the other things back for her birthday (in March)?

Do I not buy her the case and make her sister share her pokemon figures (which she has asked for for Christmas)?

Do I buy her the case but not the figures and let her use Christmas money to buy the figures? (though she may not understand this on Christmas day and may get upset)?

Next year I shall leave the shopping until later and avoid the bargain threads .

[wishingforwillpower]

How old is she?
I'd probably get her what's she's asked for as its only the 1st dec ie not unreasonably close to Xmas for making Xmas requests... Especially if she believes in Santa. Can you return any of the other stuff or give it as gifts to other family/save for kids party gifts etc?

[everydayaschoolday]

Can you pass the pokemon idea onto grandparents for them to get?

[everydayaschoolday]

I get the stocking fillers and sweets etc on the run up when I see a bargain, and then purchase the 'big' present once DD has committed in writing (by way of a posted Santa letter normally by 1 Dec) what she is asking for. Once letter has gone to Santa, minds cannot be changed as 'order' has been 'placed'….

[Springcleanish]

If you can afford to, then I'd buy the extra and put some bits away for birthday, give to relatives etc, or ask grandparents if they need ideas.

[Marne]

She's 7 , we don't really have any family who buy gifts (a few spend £5 on them and grandparents give her money) and we don't have any other children to buy for , she will like the items I have got her but they may not get played with straight away, she finds Christmas quite stressful and usually ends up only playing with the one item she has asked for (though her list consists of 3 things, the moshi mall, pokemon case and pokemon figures). I can afford to get it for her but I don't want her to be too overwhelmed with presents (as I have bought her quite a bit already), maybe I could keep a few gifts back for boxing day so she doesn't have them all at once?

[Luggage16]

in our house the kids are only allowed to ask Santa for one smallish gift (under £20- so far they have always asked for something that's only a few £) and we visit Santa on the 1st/2nd of the month so no time to change your mind then.

In your situation I would probably buy the pokemon if I could find them at a reasonable price

[Marne]

Also dd1's list is almost identical (though she has been asking for these items for months and I have already bought them for her), if I buy more for dd2 I will need to buy something extra for dd1 as dd2 already has more items to open than dd1, though hopefully they wont notice, would a 9 year old notice?

[Luggage16]

As a child we always had a few small gifts on boxing day that Santa had lost around the house (as a treasure hunt). With mine we do a treasure hunt at some point in december and also gifts on the winter solstice to spread the gifts out a bit - would that help?

[Marne]

I'm going to look on e-bay I think, I could buy the case (its £16) and get her a few 2nd hand figures to go in it?

[Funkybutnot]

marne your DD sounds identical to mine! I could have written that myself.
If you can try and get some bits as if she's anything like mine she will be thinking, talking, writing and drawing about Pokemon 24-7!

[everydayaschoolday]

If you can afford it, then I'd get her the Pokemon and put some of the other stuff aside for her birthday or friends birthday's in the coming year or new years present (careful about setting precedence) or boxing day as you said.

Sorry my previous post was unhelpful; I hadn't read your OP properly about her having ASD.

I think you'd all have a more peaceful and happy christmas if you got the one thing that she'll play with because thats what she's asked for. Given the circumstances, I think you would be being entirely reasonable to accommodate .

[Marne]

Funky, she has been glued to pokemon video's (you tube) talking like pokemon, drawing then in her school books and talking about them 24/7 . She pinched dd1's DS yesterday (huge meltdown from dd1) as she wanted a go at her pokemon game, she would love her own DS but I think she will have to wait until her birthday (hopefully by then the obsession would have gone).

[NearTheWindmill]

If your dd finds Christmas stressful then just buy what she wants - it isn't unreasonably huge. Keep something else back for her birthday. Sometimes mine asked for expensive things and therefore had far less to open than their sibling and that was always fine and we managed to avoid counting presents here.

[Marne]

I think I will keep one of the lego sets back for her birthday (or a rainy day), she loves lego but it wont have the 'wow factor' that the pokemon will have.

[Funkybutnot]

Awww even talking like Pokemon, how sweet! How long do her obsessions normally last?

With DD it's normally about 2-3 of completely obsessed and it will then ease lightly but still adore them.

Only us ASC parents etc fully understand what 'obsessions' are!

[Funkybutnot]

*months

[TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod]

I am actually in this situation. My two both have autism. My youngest is quite easy because as long as it's been on TV, he's happy

My eldest is like your daughter. He changes his mind and is actually really anxious about it all. He's chosen 2 things and I bought a few things I thought he would like. I have had to tell him what they are because the stress of not knowing was making him ill. Actually ill. He can't cope with surprises.

I've given him a deadline now of 2 weeks before christmas to make his final choices and if he misses that deadline - which he will do - we have agreed that we will take him out on boxing day to buy what he likes with the money that would have been spent.

I tell you all this so you know that I totally get what you're going through

I would get it for her. If you can afford it. Don't ask her sister to share her own stuff. If your daughter is like my kids, 'sharing' someone else's stuff = MY STUFF! I can see it causing arguments. And yes, leave it till the last minute in future.

[Marne]

She has been obsessed with Moshi monsters for 3 years (mainly the little plastic figures), we have had a obsession with Kirby (had to hunt down a Kirby teddy last year) and when she was tiny it was Wybuloo and we made the mistake of buying her 3 of the 4 teddies, she was crying for 2 days asking for the 4th (as of course they need the full set), as soon as the shops were open we had to go and buy it .

Now she tends to follow her sister which is a good thing as they will play pokemon together (which as you know is great for a child with ASD as they often play on their own).

[Marne]

Last week she made a pokemon comic book and took it school, she read it to the head teacher and even did all the pokemon voices .

[TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod]

"Only we understand what obsessions are"

Too bloody right!

With my eldest, it lasts until he's completed his collection. The second the final item lands on the mat, he's done. But you can't sell them. They have to remain, in their allocated box, unused and untouched.

[Marne]

Thegreatwizzard - this is exactly why we ask for money from relatives, so theres no surprises or disappointment ( they are not great at pretending to like something in front of people) and then they can go and chose what they want. We tell dd2 roughly what she is getting and we try and get the things she has asked for (she doesn't ask for many things).

[Funkybutnot]

Thank you marne for posting this thread.

It's so nice to hear how other asc families get through Christmas and we are not alone in our unique Christmas arrangements, panic etc.

All our friends must think were bonkers sometimes but if you don't live it then you haven't got a clue what the word obsession is!

[Marne]

the obsessions drive me nuts but they are kind of fun. I have just been to toys r us as they had a pokemon case on offer and I also found some figures half price, picked up a few pokemon bits for dd1 too, got some odd looks as my trolly contained pokemon and more pokemon (not many shops sell it so had to grab what I could when I was there), lets hope this obsession lasts a while after what I have spent. I think we must have spent £100's on moshi monsters over the past 3 years (had to pay stupid prices on e-bay for rare figures), luckily she still plays with it but I have a feeling pokemon may take over.

Funky- hope you have a fab Christmas, although our Christmas's are a but different than other peoples I think they are the best .

[Funkybutnot]

Wow, check you out!! Glad you managed to get the bits you wanted. I bet Your DD will be very happy on Christmas morning.

Yes...very different, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Merry Christmas to you too. X

[YourHandInMyHand]

My DS has autism and one year (2011) decided he wanted the skylanders pack when I had already bought everything. I told him it was too late for santa now and that he would have to ask santa the year after (2012). Which obviously he did and he is still getting hours of play from them.

I had to say no as I had spent so much already but another option would have been to return some things instead and buy the new request. With our dcs being on the spectrum I've found that if it captures their attention and gets them talking then it's worth every penny!