How much would you expect?

(32 Posts)
BankerMommy2010 Wed 16-Oct-13 10:27:05

I asked a member of my family what they would like for Christmas, I don't normally do this but last year, after I had purchased their gift I got an email requesting an item!!! I had to tell her that I had already done my shopping, but then didn't feel quite so happy with the gift I had already purchased. .. anyway, im quite good at shopping around or finding gifts that look a lot more tjan they actually are, we don't have a budget but I dont normally spend loads, last year I got her hubby's gift in the jan sales and her gift was partly bought with advantage points..
Sooooo. They have now requested vouchers for expensive restaurants...how much do I give without looking tight x.

NannyPlumForPM Mon 21-Oct-13 18:35:23

Definitely a goat

I would get her a big fat nothing for being a grasping grabber

Or an oxfam goat

Yeah I'd get her a goat

500internalerror Sat 19-Oct-13 12:28:00

I've never heard anything so cheeky in my life! If you're an adult, you don't put in requests for vouchers, which is essentially asking for a handout shockshockshock

soontobeburns Sat 19-Oct-13 12:16:52

Im the same OP. Last year my friend asked for a voucher for Christmas. I stretched myself to get her a £20 voucher (I wasnt working) but I had too because like yourself, I always bargain hunt and usually get most of my presents half price or less, so it looks like more.

Im really worried she is gonna ask the same next year.

FriskyMare Wed 16-Oct-13 16:31:30

I'm shock that two adults email their Christmas list in October

iheartdusty Wed 16-Oct-13 16:01:48

tastecard is always on offer somewhere or other for less than the full price, you can find it for £30 all years round by hunting

BankerMommy2010 Wed 16-Oct-13 13:55:11

Hubby has said £30 is tight and to do £40 :-/ I dont mind but I like to get a bargain smile

Has she named specific restaurants? I would say £30 is reasonable and that's how much I would give.

As someone asked above, you can buy 'gift' tastecards, but they are £79.95 for a years membership

BankerMommy2010 Wed 16-Oct-13 13:33:11

Can I just add... money isn't tight this year. . She is my sil but
We never see them so I don't see a need to lavish expensive gifts on them when there are people id rather buy for

iheartdusty Wed 16-Oct-13 13:32:43

a Tasetcard can be bought for abut £30...

BankerMommy2010 Wed 16-Oct-13 13:31:55

Can I just add... money isn't tight this year. . She is my sil but
We never see them so I don't see a need to lavish expensive gifts on them when there are people id rather buy for

Elizabeth22 Wed 16-Oct-13 13:29:55

Are there any offers on something like a "taste card"? A taste card gives the holder a discount on lots of popular restaurants - but I'm sure that they sometimes have then on offer? Someone wiser than me might be able to confirm...

BankerMommy2010 Wed 16-Oct-13 13:29:06

I wasn't suggesting that I would not buy for them. .. I said not to buy for us as I felt it alot to buy for the 3 of us and for us to only buy for 2 obviously I would still buy for them, but if they didn't buy for us also the pressure would not be there for me to feel I have to buy them big presents

bamboostalks Wed 16-Oct-13 13:16:23

What do they get you? Who are they? Why do you buy them gifts like this?

Can't you just say that you have had to economise a bit this year, hence they still think previous gifts were not cheaper and then they have a chance to economise too.

I know from the other perspective I wasn't keen when dsis suggested just giving to children - she had two and I had none - I didn't know if I was going to be able to have any children and it felt as if my status without children meant that I was seen as just a giver - it wasn't about the cost for me as we've never been extravagent (never more than £10 per person) but that she didn't rate me as a person without children. There were many other comments about 'oh well when you have your own children you'll find out...' And yes the amount of plastic tat to wood ratio has increased but no I have never felt the need to tell a 2yr old that the police will come and put him in jail. I'm sure that you aren't like that but it is possible that if you have children and she doesn't then you saying just to give to ds will in some ways impact on her.

I would instead approach it from the perspective that money is a bit tight this year so why not have a family limit of 30-40, she can then decide for herself whether to give to just ds or to both of you too. At 3 he will have little idea of whether his present costs £5 and yours £20 or vice versa. She is then expecting vouchers to that limit unless she finds something else.

girlywhirly Wed 16-Oct-13 11:47:56

You could spend a bit more this year, and go back to your usual budget next year. Or cut back on what you spend on their next birthday gifts if you get them. It's not your fault you are a careful shopper. Also don't ask for any more suggestions unless you are really stumped for ideas.

BankerMommy2010 Wed 16-Oct-13 11:32:45

Our ds is 3... good idea re glitter!

I think maybe my previous gifts are what's concerned me re voucher amount. .. the gifts I have bought in the past are easily £30-40 but ive got them reduced so id say in total their gifts have come in at £30ish but have been worth around £70

girlywhirly Wed 16-Oct-13 11:25:17

Be careful that this is setting a precedent for more expensive than you would like gift requests in the future.

ThisIsMeNow Wed 16-Oct-13 11:22:19

Don't be forced into spending more than you normally would, give them a £30 gv and that is it.
Seriously?! I can't believe how rude she was emailing you.
Find something you like this year and email her requesting it. Don't tell her not to bother with presents for you!

BeaLola Wed 16-Oct-13 11:16:45

I wouldn't expect anything as I wouldn't have asked ... cheeky woman.

How old is yr DS - could he "make" a card to go with the voucher that has lots & lots of glitter on it for her .... how lovely that he has made her a card/picture & how lovely for her to clear up the glitter !

BankerMommy2010 Wed 16-Oct-13 11:12:52

Ive actually told her not to worry about gifts for us... (yes I am stupid) but im aware they buy for our son and I worry about people going to big expens :-/

WallyBantersJunkBox Wed 16-Oct-13 11:00:56

Then £40 is more than generous.

Then email her requesting a gift that costs £44.99.... (joking)

BankerMommy2010 Wed 16-Oct-13 10:55:03

There isnt really anyone we could club together with..

BankerMommy2010 Wed 16-Oct-13 10:54:03

I think im going to be forced into spending £40... £20 each
:-/

WallyBantersJunkBox Wed 16-Oct-13 10:52:57

£30 would still get a nice bottle of wine or two desserts though? Even expensive restaurants in the UK aren't that OTT.

Clubbing together is a good idea, I agree.

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