what to buy for someone you'd really rather not buy anything for

(44 Posts)
enormouse Tue 24-Sep-13 18:01:42

I've been with DP almost 4 years and have bought his sister something every year from us both. It's usually something I've spent time and effort (not to mention money) picking out. It's starting to get demoralising now as its never reciprocated. For 2 years out of the 3 I have received nothing and for one year I got a nougat and nut chocolate selection (I'm extremely allergic to egg and nuts).

I have no idea what to do this year. My inner bitch says get the ungrateful cowbag nothing but this might precipitate world war 3 and I don't think that would be festive. I don't want to spend lots of money on her either but if it's not considered to her standards she will bitch and be highly unpleasant.

I'm not materialistic and am expecting nothing again this year, but it's really disheartening to be snubbed in front of DPs family by her after putting the effort into buying her something special. I find Christmas difficult anyway as I'm NC with my family and especially miss them over the festive period.

Get her a nougat and nut chocolate selection?

But seriously, why buy for her if she clearly doesn't enjoy her gifts or want to reciprocate? Why not suggest you both not buy for each other this year? You could do it in a friendly way.

enormouse Tue 24-Sep-13 18:12:40

She wouldn't take getting nothing well. She's been quite spoilt by her parents and would expect something, regardless.

Nut chocolates sound appropriate though.

Miserably Tue 24-Sep-13 18:13:53

Don't get anything and if she makes a fuss just say you thought you weren't getting each other presents any more.

didireallysaythat Tue 24-Sep-13 18:15:12

A goat from oxfam. At least someone will benefit.....

CaptainSweatPants Tue 24-Sep-13 18:15:47

Oxfam goat

But really don't get why you bother if she doesn't get you anything

Smacks of pushover to me

CaptainSweatPants Tue 24-Sep-13 18:16:30

grin at x post of goat

gamerchick Tue 24-Sep-13 18:16:51

Moon sand.

Seriously though a donation to charity is just the ticket. She'll look like a right knob if she makes a fuss.

diplodocus Tue 24-Sep-13 18:18:19

Why are you sorting out presents for your DP's sister? Surely that should be his problem? Does he get a decent present from her?

weallwearcapes Tue 24-Sep-13 18:19:35

My advice is don't get her anything. It is your partner's responsibility to buy something for his sister.

enormouse Tue 24-Sep-13 18:19:41

It's more for the peace and quiet tbh. She would go into her full on unpleasant bitch mode if she got nothing and DP gets quite wound up about keeping the peace at Christmas.

I suggested getting nothing last year. It was shot down.

MrsGSR Tue 24-Sep-13 18:20:07

I've budgeted £5 for a little Bath/shower set for DHs step sister. She had never bought me or DH a gift but we love his step dad so we get her a token gift for his sake.

Frenchfemme Tue 24-Sep-13 18:20:08

She's your DP's sister, so get him to sort it. Not your problem

enormouse Tue 24-Sep-13 18:20:19

Thanks for your advice though, I'll shunt the issue to him.

TessTackle Tue 24-Sep-13 18:20:52

Pound land chocolates.

Miserably Tue 24-Sep-13 18:21:37

I'd just let DP sort it if he insists on getting her something

CaptainSweatPants Tue 24-Sep-13 18:22:43

Does she buy for your dp?

How can she kick off when she doesn't buy anything

Can't you just say well where's my present then?

Booze? At least you can chuck it in trolley at supermarket, wrap then forget.

SIL never gets us anything either, this year will be her first with a job so i'll be intrigued to see if this changes anything.

enormouse Tue 24-Sep-13 18:23:44

Last minute kindle voucher bought on Christmas eve it is. smile

weallwearcapes Tue 24-Sep-13 18:24:53

Don't let it bother you, pass back all responsibility for the buying of presents for his family, seriously why the fuck us women seem to end up doing it all is beyond me, and I speak as someone who buys all the frigging cards and presents and yet all my family (DH & DCs as well as myself) are forgotten by the very same people who get all het up about us buying them and their kids presents.

SO I am no longer doing it, it makes me cross and I can't be bothered with is all anymore. I suggest you do the same. If I am questioned about it I am going to tell them to speak to their brother/son.

newgirl Tue 24-Sep-13 18:25:23

Completely hand this to your do
Not your issue

newgirl Tue 24-Sep-13 18:28:07

Completely hand this to your dp
Not your issue

TheHandbagOfGlory Tue 24-Sep-13 18:31:05

This that should sort her out.

JerseySpud Tue 24-Sep-13 18:31:49

Arsenic. Failing that hand over to DP

enormouse Tue 24-Sep-13 18:33:24

weallwearcapes that's it in a nutshell. I think I silently just took it on without realising. Possibly because I miss doing it for my family. But you're all right, not my problem at all.

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