Refuge John Lewis gift list - donate here

(176 Posts)
JackThePumpkinKing Tue 06-Nov-12 18:23:33

Re-posting from the Christmas topic, hopefully the thread police won't bite me grin

www.redonline.co.uk/news/sam-baker-s-daily-letter/john-lewis-refuge-gift-list

"Every year, Refuge try to ensure that every woman and child in their refuges receive a minimum of two to three presents each to unwrap on Christmas day. As Refuge say, 'The Christmas gift initiative is vital to ensure that refuges became places of joy on a day that has the potential to very bleak and hard.'
The charity have a gift list at John Lewis for the appeal so it could not be simpler. You can go as small as a counting block for £2.99, to as big as a pair of roller blades for £40. Whatever you pick, you will know that there?s a child in a refuge somewhere who will have a present to open on Christmas morning ? thanks to you.
Surely, this is the best reason to start your Christmas shopping early this year?
Go to Johnlewisgiftlist.com and enter list number 522953. ( The gift list has to close on 6th December 2012 so that there is time to get the presents to each of the Refuges )

Mosman Sun 11-Nov-12 12:48:43

I'm just pointing out the bleedin obvious that a) ipods will need additional money that the recipient may not be able to afford, b) there's a good chance that they may get nicked or sold on if not by the recipient then people the receipent will be in contact with, the friggin staff stole some of my mums clothes ffs. The digital camera will require some sort of computer access no ?Lego and toys with lots of pieces aren't ideal to be playing with in limited space where people will be living in something the size of a hotel room, the list could have been better thought out. That's all.

I appreciate people want a warm fluffy feeling from giving.

stinkinseamonkey Sun 11-Nov-12 12:50:15

and even if it does get stolen a few days later, it'll be there to open on christmas day.

I sell loads of DSs gifts, I sell them at boot sales or nearly news instead of cash converters, and I usually buy him something new that he needs with the money, I don't buy drugs or booze with the money, but I still sell or give away loads of his stuff. We don't have room to be sentimental, meh! he enjoys them while he has them! He likes opening presents, he likes playing with his new things, there's not much he gets to keep forever, we don't have a loft or a garage so that's how it is!

I'm sure the staff will ensure that the kids are allowed to take their gifts out of the wrappers on christmas day and play with them!

stinkinseamonkey Sun 11-Nov-12 12:52:59

mosman, I agree with A
As I posted earlier I didn't choose the first thing that jumped out at me (walkie talkies) because I wondered about the battery issue, so went for the fancy dress costume instead as it needed no extras to be enjoyed on christmas day

noone is doubting that you had bad eggs when you went, There are bad refuges, there are bad people who need refuges, but IMO you are incorrect to think that all refuges are exactly the same as that at all times and that no good will come from giving gifts to them!

Mosman, ipod actually a lot of free content, ds has a touch and I've never paid for a game song or video on it.

stinkinseamonkey Sun 11-Nov-12 12:54:02

(don't need a computer for digital camera, can print at boots)

stinkinseamonkey Sun 11-Nov-12 12:54:44

my mum has had digital cameras for years with no computer

Mosman Sun 11-Nov-12 13:24:44

I've made my point, without swearing at any one or being rude.

I'd ask you all to consider getting some poor kid off the street by donating to this instead, www.centrepointroom.org.uk/?dm_i=QTC,11JJ1,3UTFPD,3756R,1 or both if you are feeling flush :D

peanutMD Sun 11-Nov-12 14:29:15

I actually kind of agree with Mosman.

We have a local giving tree which we can pick the gift for and a much as I'd love to buy an MP3 player or similar fir a teenager I never do because they require too much outside input to use such as internet/computer/spare cash for some songs etc

Wouldn't think twice about other gifts such as straighteners though or costumes as these can be used and enjoyed without anything else.

Lovely idea smile

CruCru Mon 12-Nov-12 17:55:36

I've posted on Facebook and Twitter about the list. I also bought some roller skates.

Chopstheduck Mon 12-Nov-12 18:11:22

Although I do think you sound a bit bitter mosman, unfortunately I do think you have a point.

When I was in refuge, the staff took all the donations and kept them locked up, we actually broke into the room to get a few essentials. My engagement ring was stolen, along with some other bits. Food wasn't even safe!

ipod would have been pointless without computer access. Space in the one I was in was very limited. a family gets one room, so I had a room with a single bed, a bunk bed and a cot. No room to swing a cat. Dressing up even would have been quite difficult. I think the roller skates is a nice idea, def something I would have appreciated, as I desperately needed to get the kids out and about while living there.

I was very appreciative of having the refuge service, and wihtout it, I would never have gotten out. But I'd be very wary of donating because of my previous experiences. Really, for me, it was just hell for three months, but you have to get through that. Some of the staff were nice, but really the support was minimal. It was get in, here's your room, fill out forms so they can claim huge amounts of housing benefit on your behalf, and then sit back and wait to be rehomd.

I would also have loved more help once I got out. At least in the refuge there are people there, then you leave, get given an empty flat, no cooking facilities, no furniture, no bedding, curtains, carpets. I was 8.5 months pregnant and had to start over with nothing, and very little support! The refuge is only the start of it, and quite a few women end up returning to partners after leaving the refuge.

JackThePumpkinKing Mon 12-Nov-12 18:16:42

All very good points, thanks Chops smile

Of all the things on the list, what do you think would be the most appropriate/appreciated do you think?

Chopstheduck Mon 12-Nov-12 18:27:41

Only how I would have felt but...

I actually like the hairdryer and straighteners, because it is something you need, and just one of those things that you don't remember to grab when leaving in a hurry. Being able to at least do my hair might have made me feel a bit better.

I do actually like the camera idea too. dd was so little when we left, and we were there for a while, and she was growing up, and I treasure the very few photos I have of her from that time, because it was a horrendous time but we got through it. I was also very close to having to give birth to ds1 and bring him 'home' to the refuge, so would have been gutted not having a camera.

Lego is def good, small, doesn't make a lot of noise or space that will disturb other residents. Not all have their own children or like other people's children, so I def felt pressured to keep dd fairly quiet and not annoying others. I wouldn't get anything noisy.

I'd have also been horrified by the clothing tbh. After I left, I bought dd clothing from charity shops. £18 for a rugby shirt!! I'd have felt slightly sick, and it probably wouldn't have been worn, since we were hardly in a position to be going out nice places.

picturesinthefirelight Mon 12-Nov-12 19:55:55

Very insightful post thank you

Not seen the rugby shirt on the list but (having had ds in trouble recently for not having a rugby shirt) is this perhaps an item someone needs for school?

Mosman Mon 12-Nov-12 22:30:20

I may well sound bitter, I wasn't living in one of these places due to being in danger, my mother moved us all into one in order to push herself up the council waiting list. We were all traumatised and I think she regrets it. Anyway she left to go and live with her man. The one who was allegedly beating her up, they got married.
I just know people are generously giving at a time when it's not so easy to do so. I'd hate to think of people being ripped off one way or another.

Mosman Mon 12-Nov-12 22:50:29

The most useful donation would be take your freshly washed spare sheets, pillows or duvets to the local refuge or homeless shelter. I wouldn't have let my dog sleep on what's provided.

picturesinthefirelight Mon 12-Nov-12 22:52:47

Only tonight have I put a set of bedding that dd no longer likes in the recycle bag. It's perfectly good. Recycle come tomorrow. How would I find where to take it instead?

Mosman Mon 12-Nov-12 22:55:49

I don't think you can find the refuge hostels in the phone book but you could call the probation department and see if they'd direct you to the homeless hostels or phone shelter maybe ?

JackThePumpkinKing Mon 12-Nov-12 22:57:05

I wouldn't have the first clue how to find the local refuge Mosman.. it's not like you can call them and ask them for their address.

Is there any other way you can donate things like sheets or clothing?

I'm not out to rip anybody off Mosman, I resent the implication that I am somehow benefitting from this (yes, you did imply this upthread). I think the JL list is appealing because someone can buy something that will get to a shelter, and hopefully help.

Thinking about it, I do have some nice sheets that I'd donate - if anybody knows how I could get these to an actual shelter?

JackThePumpkinKing Mon 12-Nov-12 22:58:41

Ah, xposts.

I really don't want to sound like I'm having a go Mosman, but you really do sound v angry about this thread, and it's whole intended purpose.

It has kept it going though I suppose grin

stinkinseamonkey Mon 12-Nov-12 23:00:22

here they have an office at the housing association where you can leave donations. They are VERY particular though, so check with them first. They don't take anything where there is the slightest chance that it's a message from an ex p. They also wont accept it if it's dropped off by a man. They treated my like I was some dodgy person hired by someone's ex p to drop off stuff that'd be recognisable as from an ex p to someone in the hostel when I tried to leave christmas donations.

Mosman Mon 12-Nov-12 23:15:24

Jack I am in no way implying its you ripping anyone off or john Lewis aside of their no so brilliant choices of "gifts"
I've repeatedly made my point, others have concurred. Some of these items are expensive and would be a lot of money to be wasted.

JackThePumpkinKing Mon 12-Nov-12 23:38:23

Ok, fair enough. Perhaps its because you've mentioned it repeatedly that you're coming across as arsey and resentful. After your other post I'm not surprised though, sounds like you had a really shitty time

I just wanted to share the link so people could donate things to refuge, because its really difficult to do it any other way.

Isla77 Tue 13-Nov-12 16:06:42

JackThePumpkinKing - I have gifted two gifts - one for a young boy and one for an adult. Every little helps hopefully. Those of us lucky to have good partners, family,friends and a decent life need to do what we can to help those who are not as lucky as us. Thanks for posting. The process was really easy.

narmada Wed 05-Dec-12 23:04:37

I don't understand all this hand-wringing about whether gifts donated in this way will be sufficiently appreciated/ used/ resold. I dunno about anyone else on here but the knowledge that some charitable donations to poorer parts of the world may somewhere along the line be misappropriated by those in power doesn't make me stop donating hmm. It's an act of giving - once you do so you place your faith in the hands of the charity, surely?

tempnameswap Thu 06-Dec-12 19:57:22

Bought some gifts - the list is a great idea. Just to check though, that I'm not adding to the gift pile of a random recipient rather than Refuge: it said 'charity gift list of miss jessica madeley'. Is that right?!

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