Thank You letters for xmas presents

[GeorgeEliot]

Shocked that some people don't think it's important to get dc to write thank you letters for the presents they receive at Christmas.

Our house rule is that if the giver is present, you do not need to write.

But if they are not there to see you open it, then you should write.

And we keep lists of who has given what so we don't get in a muddle.

What do others do?

[oreocrumbs]

My DD is only a toddler but I send a thank you card for all gifts recieved. DD makes them and I write them! I did it as a child, and as an adult I am thrilled to get them (although I don't get that many!)

I think it is just good manners, and also helps to remind children who - very naturally get carried away with new toys etc, that some one has taken time, money and effort to give them that gift!

[sunnyday123]

i dont do letters but do get them to make thank you phone calls! tbh the reason i dont get them to write letters is that i genuinely hate receiving them - they go straight in the bin! Simple face to face thanks or over the phone better imo.

[timidviper]

We did letters when DCs were little but as they got older went over to verbal thanks which everyone was ok with except MIL who is a fully paid up member of the thank you police

[scaevola]

Well unless you use mime, all thanks whether spoken or written is verbal.

I insist on proper thank you letters. It doesn't take long and has the most enormous positive impact. And it sets up the DCs to do it for life, and that positive impact continues.

People have been trying to say thank you letters are outdated for decades. But they persist. Why? Because familiarity with traditional good manners supports success.

I expect I'll be flamed for saying that though.

[GeorgeEliot]

Scaevola, I completely agree with you. Good manners will carry you far in life, and it is something we can have a huge influence on as parents.

[Rosa]

oreocrumbs and George I agree- I bought some simple cards that said Thank you - dd drew a picture on the back - now she can manage the simple basics herself. I appreciate the thanks written or otherwise its simple manners IMO

[ScramblyEgg]

I think that children should only be expected to send thank you cards if the adults do as well.

All of my family send thank you cards to each other for presents, going to each others houses for a meal, etc. DH's parents never send thank you cards for anything but expect to get them from DS, which really annoys me.

[exoticfruits]

I agree OP-it has caused blood sweat and tears over the years-mainly mine! However in the end they get it. If someone bothers to send the present they can bother to put pen to paper-simple.

[mrsmplus3]

we do not do thank you letters/cards. i think thats ott. a phone call to auntie in the morning or a face to face thank you and a cuddle is lovely and totally accepted in our family as we see everyone at some point over the holidays anyway.
i do thank you cards for wedding gifts and christenings but not birthdays or christmas, who has the time to do all that? and why would you expect that from a child when you know its just another thing on the mums to do list? you shouldnt expect that off people, its too much pressure. if i thought someone was waiting on a thank you letter from my kids after christmas and making comments behind our backs id really rather they didnt bother giving a gift. you dont give to be praised.

[exoticfruits]

and why would you expect that from a child when you know its just another thing on the mums to do list?

It is only supervising.

[exoticfruits]

It is good for DCs to put themselves out to please someone else.

[Sparklingbrook]

Has to be a written thank you here - when do children actually get to write and post a letter nowadays? And I get all arsey if I don't get one back. It doesn't take long though does it? It's good manners too. I realise I may be in the minority though......

[mrsmplus3]

its not supervising - its writing the address, buying the stamps, remembering to post- times 20 people!!?? are you mad?

no, my kids phone or say thanks when they see the relative and give a big kiss and cuddle. much nicer and more genuine.

[Sparklingbrook]

I am in the minority and mad also apparently.

[mrsmplus3]

i have never received a thankyou card from my nieces and nephews. but then we are close, they just tell me when they see me - usually at the moment i give them the gift.

but look, everyones situations are different and so each to their own.

[Sparklingbrook]

May as well not bother with Christmas cards either then. Just phone everyone up!

[mrsmplus3]

now you're talking!

[exoticfruits]

FC always brings paper. The addresses can be on the computer, DCs like posting and we don't have 20 people buying!! They thank in person if the the person sees them open it, otherwise they write. Eventually, I am pleased to say, it becomes second nature. (20 people buying?) We cut right down years ago on the presents.

[tallulah]

Why is a phone call "more genuine"?

I always made my children write thank you letters to my side of the family, as mum (and grandma) always got the huff if they didn't get a thank you.

DH's family don't do thank you's themselves, so have never expected thanks from anyone else

[Sparklingbrook]

I could do with narrowing my Christmas card list down actually. What's the best way to do that?

[exoticfruits]

Not mad sparklingbrook-I bet people appreciate it.

[mrsmplus3]

well therein lies the difference. writing a few is no problem,, writing 20 is a job and a half for 3 little ones. we have a big family - i dont need to justify that now do i?

[exoticfruits]

I loved writing them as a DC- it was my brothers who had the problem.

[Sparklingbrook]

I think it's because we always sent them as children. One Auntie would expect a thank you almost before she had sent the present though.