Woo hoo. I have received the most wanktastic round robin

(247 Posts)
PonceyMcPonce Mon 13-Dec-10 17:25:07

It is ultimate!

It contains

Triathlons
Skiing
Mountain climbing
Ballet
Pets
Smallholding
Surfing

It was even delivered by email, not because they are hard up, but because they are greener than the likes of us.

I feel I may have had my Christmas climax a bit early!

nickeldonkeycarrymary Mon 13-Dec-10 17:25:53

you might need to post it in full (delete names and places if necess)

grin

Oh god, my SIL writes one like a stepford wife. It's truly bizarre.

SpringHeeledJack Mon 13-Dec-10 17:26:40

oh pleeeeeeeeeeease do it

tinker with the odd vaguely identifiable detail

PonceyMcPonce Mon 13-Dec-10 17:26:45

I fear it might be recognisable! Surely very few people actually do all that?

I've never had a round robin. Might send one myself.

DD's taller, costs a lot. DH has a receding hairline and the stain on the passenge seat is still there.

Merry fecking Christmas.

Would that work?

TheNextMrsClaus Mon 13-Dec-10 17:27:37

Not mine, is it?

Oh no, can't be, no mention of the charity work I've been doing.

GrimmaTheNome Mon 13-Dec-10 17:28:21

But no musical instrument gradings? Philistines.
grin

PonceyMcPonce Mon 13-Dec-10 17:28:33

Damn no charity work!

Btw, they do mention they are not skint!

Curiousmama Mon 13-Dec-10 17:30:09

I haven't had one for years can't believe people still send them tbh.

I'd be quite happy to receive yours though Unpure grin

MassiveKnob Mon 13-Dec-10 17:31:43

they mention that they are not skint???

They may be green but they are vair vair vulgar. grin

BollocksToThis Mon 13-Dec-10 17:32:37

Post it, dooooo it!

pagwatch Mon 13-Dec-10 17:34:05

I had a jaw dropping round robin a couple of years ago

A guy from school days sent..

Blah blah.. Job... Holidays...big house...promotion..more holidays...own company...general fabulousness... Beautiful wife and Shakespeare reading toddler...
So Happy Christmas all....

And btw, you remember suzi smithers from sixth form?
turned out she had aspergers and she killed herself a few weeks ago.
So, like I say, happy new year
Bye!,,,

(obviously not really suzi smithers and obviously I sent him a " do fuck off you crass wanker)

SpringHeeledJack Mon 13-Dec-10 17:34:31

I could do one

<reflects>

Strange But True- both DP and DS split their trousers last week- one on thurs, one on fri

<preens>

SpringHeeledJack Mon 13-Dec-10 17:34:56

shock pag

Hullygully Mon 13-Dec-10 17:41:40

I've just done mine.

I thought they were de rigeur now? I emailed it too with photos and a couple of vid clips of our two most exotic trips this year. AND one of dd showjumping with a minor royal.

Oh dear. Will there be envy? I thought people liked to share each other's triumphs and joys.

pagwatch Mon 13-Dec-10 17:42:56

I know. Still can't quite believe it..

People are breathtaking sometimes.

usualsuspect Mon 13-Dec-10 17:43:33

My bosses dh produces a family magazine every year to send with their christmas cards

pagwatch Mon 13-Dec-10 17:44:32

How did your dd get the minor royal to accept the saddle hull? they can be bucky fuckers, the minors. The older ones are fine if you put gin in their oats

Curiousmama Mon 13-Dec-10 17:45:04

Hullygully did you forget the wink

usualsuspect no!!! shock

minipen Mon 13-Dec-10 17:50:25

Pagwatch I thought you were joking! shock

trumpton Mon 13-Dec-10 17:52:16

We had one that BOASTED about how full the church was for his mother's funeral. AND not once did he say he missed her. Bastard wanker.

thereisthesnowball Mon 13-Dec-10 17:52:55

Family magazine shock grin

Please tell me you are serious.

usualsuspect Mon 13-Dec-10 17:54:13

I am deadly serious it has photos and everything grin

pagwatch Mon 13-Dec-10 17:56:22

No mini. Sad but true.
I was shock

LadyBiscuit Mon 13-Dec-10 17:56:43

I used to get one from someone which was unbelievably smug and then the family were (very sadly) beset by a series of terrible tragedies and they stopped sending them. Let that be a lesson to the Round Robiners

hmmSleep Mon 13-Dec-10 17:57:12

Usualsuspect, I used to have a boss whose Dh did that, it's not a bit 'private eye' like is it?

PonceyMcPonce Mon 13-Dec-10 17:57:38

Wow, there is harmless wankery and then pags story!

30andMerkin Mon 13-Dec-10 17:59:55

Oh jaysus. I wrote mine last night blush.

In my defence, it is fairly tongue in cheek and its sole purpose is to demonstrate to my family - who never leave a 5 mile radius from where there were born - that I actually have a life am quite busy, and therefore will not make a 250-mile round trip every weekend to listen to my uncle talk about his wierd medical neuroses.

It contains 3-4 things from Poncey's list.

Should I send it, or burn it?

SpringHeeledJack Mon 13-Dec-10 18:00:34

it would be v mumsnet to send a grim-yet- smug Round Robin, no?

eg we could boast about how long it's taken us to eke out a sack of chickpeas, and how we made the bag into Christmas tree decorations afterwards

thereisthesnowball Mon 13-Dec-10 18:01:01

30 - post it and we will judge

ruddynorah Mon 13-Dec-10 18:01:46

My step mother sends one out...weekly. it all started when her and my dad went to live in France for a few years. But she still does it, now they live in lancashire.

30andMerkin Mon 13-Dec-10 18:02:32

Argh! thereis should've seen that coming grin Am not brave enough, no way!!

<runs away and hides under Christmas tree>

minipen Mon 13-Dec-10 18:02:33

oh yes 30 we can have a new mumsnet jury round roby to send or not, you may await the verdict wink

pagwatch Mon 13-Dec-10 18:04:30

Sorry poncey. I did piss on the harmless mocking didn't I... blush

hockeypuck Mon 13-Dec-10 18:06:34

I hate hate hate them, but weirdly love them because I get to hate them!

I've had two so far, one from family, glossing over the fact that their terribly --over-mothered-- son has dropped out of uni by talking about the great things he may do in the future.

The other from old school friends who put in photos of their ginger beautiful DCs in bridesmaid outfits as an open call-out in case anyone wished to use their services in the future. Crass beyond belief.

I wrote a little essay on the back of the card (hand-written) about how much more successful I, my DH and my DCs were than hers and mentioned that they'd been bridesmaids already. I really enjoyed writing that grin

30andMerkin Mon 13-Dec-10 18:06:54

Have just re-read it.

It has some amusing pet-related anecdotes.

And a self-deprecating paragraph on some of the nice things that happened to us this year.

And a hilarious tale from our foreign holiday.

Am of to do myself a mischief with a paring knife, and thereby save myself from the shame.

Nice knowing you all.

taffetazatyousantaclaus Mon 13-Dec-10 18:06:56

ruddynorah - every week?

FFS

moid Mon 13-Dec-10 18:07:03

My cousin and wife always sends out christmas cards with pictures of them, yeuch but acceptable.

My favourite was one year they at the same event gave my parents the 2006 model and at then gave us one from the previous year which was dated christmas 2005, crossed out 2006. And the picture on the front they had chosen was one they had taken at my wedding.... grin

Classy, and yes they were drawing down over £300K between them.

I get a note from my Grandma every Christmas in her card which generally reads...

My arthritis is worse this year but then so's the weather. Another school friend died this week. Paper didn't mention if it was weather related but it can't have helped. I'm surprised I'm still alive really. What with the downstairs problems and the arthritis and the weather, I expect death's imminent. Oh well. I don't complain. Happy Christmas. See you in the new year. Weather and health permitting.

Cheery innit?

SpringHeeledJack Mon 13-Dec-10 18:07:15

<hisses>

Hully, was it Lady Helen 'Melons' Windsor?

SpringHeeledJack Mon 13-Dec-10 18:08:00

30

don't for God's sake do anything silly

...at least post it first

grin

SpringHeeledJack Mon 13-Dec-10 18:08:54

he he heee at Nana's Round Robin

PonceyMcPonce Mon 13-Dec-10 18:09:28

Ah 30, you know the spirit of your rr.

I appreciate a bit of darkness pag.

waitwhat Mon 13-Dec-10 18:13:18

My boss writes her family's rr from the family dogs point of view. Its one of the most anticipated Christmas event. I die laughing every year

Oh gawd, a family friend takes his rat on a lead dog for a portrait each year, complete with new velvet cushion and festive outfit, has it made into cards and signs it using the dog's formal name. Lady Marchismo de Pedigree Chummus or summat. I say it's a cry for help. The dog's eyes scream 'get me the feck out of here and let me chase a rabbit'.

nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree Mon 13-Dec-10 18:17:28

unpure I have the same conversation with my grandmother everytime I call her. She has refused to buy a new coat for the last ten years because "it's hardly worth it" and when I told her I was pregnant her response was "well I'll have to stay alive now". I kid you not. Love her!

pagwatch Mon 13-Dec-10 18:18:59

Rofl at 'well I'll have to stay alive now'

going Mon 13-Dec-10 18:19:52

I got one for the people who used to live here -

The woman who writes is in her 50's. SHe had a hysterectomy this year, her dog nearly died and her son had another baby (also had one last year) unfortunately he has split from his girlfriend and is not allowed any access to see his children anymore. Not thing I would really want to tell people who don't even care enough to mention they moved 6 years ago!

We must be related. Every exciting event (grandma we're getting married/having a baby/buying a house) is met with 'oh I'll be dead by then'.

She's Alan Bennett's finest come to life.

ruddynorah Mon 13-Dec-10 18:20:51

Yes every damn week. It centres around her project house. I suppose it's like a blog really, but not a blog cos she emails it out.

NewYearsResolution Mon 13-Dec-10 18:29:38

hockeypuck angry

gingerism is not funny, and is not OK.

As you were.

Jajas Mon 13-Dec-10 18:30:54

PonceyMcPonce, you just have to type it out for us! Just think, they will have sent it to hundreds of loyal followers so no-one will know it's you posting in to a million few discreet mumsnetters grin!

PonceyMcPonce Mon 13-Dec-10 18:50:54

I really really cannot. Anonymous pee taking seems much less cruel.

lostinwales Tue 14-Dec-10 13:03:49

Thank you NewYearsResolution I was trying to think of an elegant way of saying that.

NewYearsResolution Tue 14-Dec-10 15:13:12

(Quick hijack - thanks lostinwales! I have a beautiful red-headed DD and I can't let these comments go, even in jest).

I love round robins though...I really look forward to them!

hockeypuck Wed 15-Dec-10 09:32:31

Apologies to lostinwales and newyearsresolution. I realise how revolting that sounded. Actually, I genuinely do not have a problem with redheads, think they look gorgeous - it referred back to a conversation I had with the said wanktastic round robin couple before children where they said they really didn't want their kids to have that hair colour. It is not a slight on the hair colour of the children, more a pointed comment at their parents. I realise how it sounded though and I apologise wholeheartedly.

domesticsluttery Wed 15-Dec-10 09:46:51

DS1 has red hair.

Not sure he'd look good in a bridesmaids dress though.

lostinwales Wed 15-Dec-10 11:53:22

You are forgiven hockeypuck wink. Although I'm always completely shock about people who say they're worried about having 'ginger' children. I worked with a woman who got a present of black hair dye when the baby was born as she'd gone on about it so long, and when I had DS2 (GLOWING red hair!) the woman across from me in the bay came back with her newborn and said 'thank goodness I was so worried she'd have red hair'. (I didn't throw anything at her, honest)

Sorry hijack over!

I LOVE getting round robins so I can snurk over how insecure people must be to feel the need to trumpet about themselves so loudly!

CornishKK Wed 15-Dec-10 12:02:10

I LOOOOOOOOOVE getting Round Robins, excellent comedy value. I used to come home for Christmas, Dad would pour me a large glass of something and we'd go through all of them and mercilessly take the rip. Traditional.

Great Aunt Ruth's were always the best, family news with just a hint of old lady disapproval.

Sadly, the generation that writes them seems to be dying out.

Maybe I shoud start.

HowsTheSerenity Wed 15-Dec-10 12:11:24

I read my bosses one today. After 2.5 years of loyal slavery (I am leaving and moving away) I get a half line mention. Half a bloody line!

HowsTheSerenity Wed 15-Dec-10 12:11:24

I read my bosses one today. After 2.5 years of loyal slavery (I am leaving and moving away) I get a half line mention. Half a bloody line!

nickeldonkeycarrymary Wed 15-Dec-10 13:15:39

still, you've made up for it with your double post wink

NewYearsResolution Wed 15-Dec-10 13:58:45

Forgiveness from me too for hockeypuck smile

VivaLeBeaver Wed 15-Dec-10 14:01:36

I've laughed so hard with a mouth full of custard that I now have snotted over my laptop (I do have a cold).

squeaver Wed 15-Dec-10 14:08:07

lol at this thread.

My fave round robin used to include a little oh-so-hilarious questionnaire completed by the family members.

Then their kids became teenagers and didn't want to tell us what their favourite fruit and best joke is.

PressureDrop Wed 15-Dec-10 14:10:42

I've had two so far.

One was a depressing catalogue of all the serious health problems affecting the family this year. A real bundle of laughs to read.

the other was a boast-fest of exotic holidays and children getting into prestigious universities.

Both came accompanied by more photographs of families-I-hardly-know than was required.

Trubert Wed 15-Dec-10 14:11:43

Close relations of mine do this. I wouldn't mind but they insist on citing all my and my family's achievements as well as their own.

We do nothing special at all so our paragraph always looks very dull compared to the rest of it.

It was particularly embarrassing last year when they managed to claim for me an achievement I hadn't done and didn't even understand (along the lines of 'Trubert has made good progress in her dry-stone walling, at which she is an expert').

I dread to think what it'll say this year.

Hassledge Wed 15-Dec-10 14:14:31

I still do a Round Robin blush. It has a whopping circulation of five - friends of my long-dead mother's or aged relatives, one of whom I have no clue as to how we're related.

Usually the circulation is six, but I have a feeling that I was told the Colonel out of Col & Mrs H died last year, and until I hear from MrsH I'm not risking it.

Lcy Wed 15-Dec-10 14:16:03

I have just received a very detailed round robin from my Uncle describing the prostate problems he has been having over the last year - not nice to read before breakfast.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Wed 15-Dec-10 14:16:10

Having spent the year slagging them, I am quite sad not to have received one yet.

nice Mnetters would post theirs and share.

nickeldonkeycarrymary Wed 15-Dec-10 15:04:39

Hassled - yours is allowed - that's the kind of round robin that's the exception. grin

lostinwales Wed 15-Dec-10 15:07:19

Dear Realtives of Lost,

Despite DH and I both losing our jobs in the last 6 months and now sharing 0.6 of a salary between us we are having an amazing time. We happily share our baked beans on toast and have so much more time together than any of you high flying well paid office monkeys, not that you would understand as loss of income and status would probably kill the lot of you.

Yes we do live far, far away from you, I am more than happy about this.

The beautiful (ginger shock) DS' have pootled about at many things this year and have become averagely competent in most of them, we are all very happy with this.

So sorry I can't be arsed won't be able to come home this year, have a lovely christmas, Lost x

Oooh, that's very cathartic actually blush

DaftApeth Wed 15-Dec-10 15:08:13

We always get a rr from friends it contains all events in your list Poncey, including music exam grades and news of all the animals.

I wonder of we know the same family?

DownyEmerald Wed 15-Dec-10 22:31:56

I had one a couple of years ago from a relative. Not once did she mention that her father had died during the year. Lots of news on her cottage renovations tho'.

I found that odd.

mippy Wed 15-Dec-10 22:33:50

I got one from my ex;s dad - a man I haven't spoken to since I was 17. Ex has just bought his first house, with --a massive amount of money from his tax exile dad-- his salary as a videogame shop worker. The teenage sister spent her summer driving round Monaco in a convertible 'and buying up Mulberry' and the youngest brother 'didn't get the grades for Manchester so has decided to start work'.

Oh, and it's in PDF format and ends with a list of 'funniest Edinburgh jokes'.

mippy Wed 15-Dec-10 22:35:49

Sorry, by PDF format I meant 'a PDF file posted online and the link e-mailed to all of Facebook'.

Curiousmama Wed 15-Dec-10 22:37:28

Oh dear mippy he's a sad bastard isn't he?

mippy Wed 15-Dec-10 22:38:44

And maybe I'm bitter because my mum's imaginary round robin would read 'I had to spend half my pension fixing a leak in my buy to let house, DS's kids were taken into care, and DGS1 has moved in with a girl who looks like Jeanette Krankie dipped in creosote'.

But, really, I don't need to know about how many holidays you took in your US property this year. Pay your fucking taxes so my dental surgery doesn't cost so much next time, ok?

BikeRunSki Wed 15-Dec-10 22:41:15

A family in the street I grew up in did a family magazine, with serious "articles" (really, proper academic historical stuff) which they printed at home. Fine now, but...

This was the 1970s. The printer was a a huge, old wooden affair, with wood blocks etc.

They made enough for the whole street (not even just family). They must have started in about May.

BTW - we saw pretty much most days. There was nothing in the magazine we did not already know, apart from maybe the "History of Misteltoe in Art and Literature" or similar such article.

mippy Wed 15-Dec-10 22:43:30

That actually sounds quite amazing. Like a Woodcraft Folk version of the 'magazines' I made with old copies of Smash Hits and felt-tips.

Curiousmama Wed 15-Dec-10 22:44:32

mippy he won't be happy 'else he wouldn't need to send such tosh.

I don't need to send RRs, I tell all on FB or ring anyone else who needs to know anything and isn't on FB. Sad but true wink

NanaNina Wed 15-Dec-10 22:44:52

I don't get any but my cousin does and she saves them for me - they are hilarious. She gets them from people she knew for a short time about 25 years ago,mentioning all sorts of people she doesn't know (nor does she want to)

There are certain categories that seem to appear:

Long descriptions of illnesses (including some very gory details) meedications taken (some worked, some didn't) and what the Dr said etc etc.

Boasting tales of kids (exam grades, music grades) "Miles achieved grade 4 in the flugelhorn exam" (honest) universities super duper jobs etc. "Harriet wonders around the house playing her flute -she's like a wondering minstrel" (Oh pass the sick bowl please)

Wonderful holidays (with a blow by blow account of where they went, what they saw, and how they returned "with many happy memories of the wonderful people we met in wherever."

DIY - long boring detailed accounts of the laying of the new patio and some of the problems incurred along the way.

Any problems are glossed over "Miranda has still not been successful in securing the job she wants, and she won't make do with second best - we are sure it is only a matter of time, and in the meantime she spends her time doing blah blah blah"

I just feel these people are so smug and must think everyone is fascinated by their lives.

If anyone is interested Simon Hoggart (who writes in the Guardian) has written 2 books based on these RRs - one "the cat who could open the fridge" and "the hamster who loved Puccini" - everytime I feel like a laugh I have a look at them.

NellieForbush Wed 15-Dec-10 22:48:36

From DH's Aunty:

"Unfortunately, after doing so well on weight watchers last year DS has gained 3 stone and is right back where he started"

ermm Thanks Mum.

MerryMarigold Wed 15-Dec-10 22:48:52

I love my Dad's RR's. They are always brutally honest and tend to upset one of the close family. Like the year he told the whole world that my sister was desperate for a baby but her husband didn't want one even though they had been married for 9 years (this was sent to my sister's IL's and provoked many conversations between IL's and their son grin). Or the year he wrote about how much he and my Mum had been helping me out with twins plus I was ill, and how draining the family was! Until that well deserved holiday....blah, blah.

That makes him sound awful. He's not. He's just a lot more honest in a RR than he is in real life, even with his own. This year it was quite safe. I was slightly disappointed!

Tanee58 Wed 15-Dec-10 22:52:03

I love them - and have written a couple myself, but total pisstakes. My fave this year is from an American cousin, written from the point of view of her cats - one of whom is 21, so it's a catalogue of cat arthritis and other cat complaints. And intimating that she won't make it to 22 sad. I love reading between the lines and looking for hints of dysfunction. Sick person that I am grin!

FunnysInTheGarden Wed 15-Dec-10 22:53:47

ah yes, just had my cousins RR. Twas all travel travel travel....husbands business doing exceptionally well, australia, the far east, oldest child still very musical, travel travel travel etc. Not one mention of an eating disorder/ suicide anywhere. Vair disappointing

scouserabroad Wed 15-Dec-10 22:53:59

I get one rr every year from an old lecturer at uni. I like hearing from him actually, though his news tends to consist mostly of detailled descriptions of all the illnesses he's suffered since last year.

When you think about it, it's like facebook statuses but for older people.

None of my friends would need to send rr because they've already told everyone about everything they've done all year. Older people who don't have facebook just take all the "interesting" things they've done, and put it in one letter which they send round at Christmas. The only difference is that the rr don't tend to contain a day by day account of what they had for their tea, or whatever.

That's my theory anyway wink

NonnoMum Wed 15-Dec-10 22:53:59

"Darling Deirdre has just been put on the Mediocre and Average Register at her state primary...

Father is still fiercely independent and most days manages to put his trousers on the right way round...

And, as for Thomasina, well, we all now a great deal about kettling now..."

mustdash Wed 15-Dec-10 23:00:45

Our sweet elderly neighbours just gave us one. Not only does it list the charity work, the holidays, the family weddings (and "postponements") as well as granny's letter from the president (she doesn't live in the UK), full colour photos inside, and A PHOTO ON THE ENVELOPE! Love it so much, I might laminate it.

grin

I did an office round robin once using the voice of Xerox the photocopying dude. Xerox was a funny feller who loved nothing more than to broadcast all those little secrets and bits of gossip that get stored up during your average year. He delivered his missive on the back of random photocopies every day for a week before someone twigged where they were coming from grin

domesticslattern Wed 15-Dec-10 23:05:23

My parents get one every year from an American couple who they knew very briefly twenty-five years ago. Every year it is long discussion of their work to promote creationism, whether through their Church or directly in schools. I think they must be trying to convert us too. hmm

My favourites are the ones about the four kids, three of whom are doing fantastic things in terms of exams and boyfriends and university and gap yahs etc. but one of whom is never mentioned. Clearly not such a success, eh? Ouch.

victoriascrumptious Wed 15-Dec-10 23:09:39

OP, I get painful ones from the inlaws. Strangely they also mention triathlons, ballet, skiing and surfing.

ooooh!

>runs to check hotmail exitedly<

TurkeyMartini Wed 15-Dec-10 23:10:59

My dad and stepmum do one. They are American and they love science fiction and go to loads of conventions throughout the year. Their RR is always peppered with opinions on whether or not Babylon 5 (or whatever other godforsaken pile of crap) should have been renewed for another season, or which fantasy writer autographed their old paperbacks in a high-school auditorium in suburban New Jersey. That, and illness updates and some stealth bragging about the achievements of my half-siblings.

Thankfully, they rarely mention me. Not out of malice, afaik; I think it may be because they don't really 'get' what people who don't like sci-fi or fantasy do with their time grin

victoriascrumptious Wed 15-Dec-10 23:12:16

Oh no RR sad

I think we should do them more actually, they are always funny, if not in the spirit intended.

kikid Wed 15-Dec-10 23:14:35

i did rr but i didn't realise thats what it was called.
I just thought i'd catch up with people whom i'd not seen for a while, mortified now at the thought of being mocked or worse.

moonbells Wed 15-Dec-10 23:16:05

Oh dear! I only get one rr a year, but it does tick all of those boxes too... we had the foreign cruises, the music grades, the school reports, the horseriding, the 'we couldn't go on a weekend to somewhere exotic and posh cos our DD threw up', DH's fantastic job and the tribulations of damp in the mansion house floor!

I once tried to write one but I just can't

Am going to have a quiet giggle at it again...

Liv77 Wed 15-Dec-10 23:16:40

I agree with NanaNina on the Simon Hoggett books, I borrowed this one from my library but had to stop reading it on the bus as I kept laughing out loud and people were starting to stare blush

kikid Wed 15-Dec-10 23:18:43

mine contained, job move, dd, & parents , oh and a couple of mutual friends.
I really don't think i would do another now after reading this..

LionsAreScary Wed 15-Dec-10 23:19:06

Loving this thread. Love round robins too, they are always interesting or worth ridicule.

The only one that annoys me is from my inlaws telling all their friends what we are up to / what I am feeling - not always accurately.

I put a pic of my kids in with the card for people who haven't seen them for a while. Is that acceptable?

I also send cards printed with a drawing by DS (6) of a Christmas tree. Is that naff too?

sockapoodle Wed 15-Dec-10 23:24:00

EIGHTEEN... eighteen foriegn locations mentioned in my only rr of the season so far. Plus three more that her DH made it. Plus many more things I would love to mention but should not.

thell Wed 15-Dec-10 23:24:01

We get one every year from DH's cousin who lives on a massive cattle farm in Alberta, Canada, and whom I've met once.
It's kind of nice to hear about what's going on in their lives, but without having to get too close and personal as we really don't know them. We always send xmas cards etc. And they don't have internet access at home so don't do facebook smile

She was beginning to get into ridiculous amounts of detail, regarding whose piano lesson is when and how it co-ordinates with judo and ice-skating lessons, until her mother received one for the first time and was shocked at receiving 17 sides of A4!! shock

There are always really funny stories in there too, which make it worth reading, eg. 5 yr old daughter asked to give a proverb at school came up with 'Never Eat Yellow Snow.' grin

Horopu Wed 15-Dec-10 23:24:02

My mil does one each year which we don't get but my parents and sister do. Each year we love to read it and finding out what we aresupposed to have been up to - it is amazing the number of hum drum things my kids and husband do that are either completely misinterpreted or just plain wrong. I do love my mil.grin

triplejump Wed 15-Dec-10 23:24:17

Lions - I love receiving pictures and artwork would be cool. I send pictures to family / friends who are overseas, I trust that is acceptable too?

RRocks Wed 15-Dec-10 23:30:34

Received round robin from husband's cousin today. Having not seen them for several years now, I was more interested to see recent pictures of her family and read what they were up to than I would be in a Christmas card that said 'Season's Greetings - from so-and-so'. Believe it was sent with aim of keeping family in touch over long distances. Have heard of old friends doing the same. Agree that it is oddly impersonal because you know that it is written to a wider readership than just you, but works for people who are far away from a lot of family and old friends. I don't find it at all surprising that a man doesn't put his feelings about the death of his mother in a round robin and, indeed, husband's cousin didn't put her feelings about the death of her mother in hers (assuming she wrote it). Your reactions seem to suggest that you are receiving round robins from people you don't care about in the first place. If you tell them that, they will stop sending them. smile

Jajas Wed 15-Dec-10 23:45:41

Kikid don't be too concerned about your RR unless it is full of boastful stuff! If you are just saying 'oh we moved to Swindon in the summer' then your letter probably won't be submitted post haste to Simon Hoggart or this thread grin!

ArsMamatoria Wed 15-Dec-10 23:52:28

Nah, the facebook update is the round robin of today.

ArsMamatoria Wed 15-Dec-10 23:54:20

I do a great line in unbearable smug with thin veneer of self-deprecation about genius of own child .

TheNextMrsClaus Thu 16-Dec-10 00:00:39

Kikid - don't stop the round robins! It looks like it's only you and me keeping the tradition alive.

I'm proud to stand up and admit that I send one out every Christmas, mainly for the far-flung rellies and college friends who I only see every couple of years. They might well be sniggering into their cornflakes, but I don't care - I want to share my news without getting writer's cramp from writing personal notes on each card.

I get a few myself each year, and absolutely love them, even though it's usually Aunty Sue giving me a blow-by-blow description of her gardening exploits (or is that shrub-by-shrub?).

Long live the round robin! wink

TheNextMrsClaus Thu 16-Dec-10 00:01:22

And I'm not on Facebook (cos I'm an old codger).

jardy Thu 16-Dec-10 00:26:43

I love getting round robins and the ones I send are never ever smug or boastful,but I make suree they are an interesting read,its hard to achieve.You can`t go on too much,and who wants to hear about your kids,a tip,read it back as if you have received it and a lot ends up on the cutting room floor.My gripe is those that never return a roundrobin just put margaret and david on the bottom.Then they have the cheek to say if I dont send one,where is last years roudn robin,we really missed it.You should reciprocate.I am really going to cut back and only send to those that return one,as I get a feeling that those that request one just want to snigger at my non-life.Another revealing thing is that one family whose letter was a boast fest about their clever kids never replied when prev year I put dd really wants to go to .. uni,trouble is its either that or nothing,not sure she will be able to get the grADES.wELL next year I put at the bottom dd got into ..university.I was so very proud especially as our eldest son has severe learning disablilites.We never got a rr after thathmm

anonymosity Thu 16-Dec-10 02:46:43

My DH got one once from an ex-flat mate who talked at length about getting caught with his new teenage girlfriend, in flagrante, by her parents - and about his ex-wife's suicide. IT was TORTURE

Bunbaker Thu 16-Dec-10 07:12:24

My, aren't we all feeling so smug about them then!

I like getting letters in with my Christmas cards. Our friends and family are rather scattered and we don't see them as often as we would like to. I don't do Facebook (and don't want to) so we keep in touch throughout the year with the occasional email or phonecall and a newsletter at Christmas.

We used to get a couple of smug letters, but no longer keep in touch with the smuggies (I wonder whywink).

Yes, I also send out newsletters with some of my cards, but they are chatty and newsy and not at all smug.

BaggedandTagged Thu 16-Dec-10 07:23:42

My parents used to get one from some friends who had 3, extremely imaginatively badly behaved kids and we used to LOVE getting it. Made such a change from all the

"Jacinta got 20 A's, five olympic medals and an OBE for services to old people, animals and children with cancer"

it was more "Toby got arrested, broke his leg in 14 places and got kicked out of school for the 18th time"

fanofpeamum Thu 16-Dec-10 09:04:41

I love round robins too, but I couldn't bring myself to send one because I don't think I've ever come across one that doesn't make me laugh. Why is this? Do we all have multiple personalities and automatically become ridiculous if we try to write the same letter to everyone?

My parents get lots. The best one was so invariably moany - year after year in a jaw-dropping way - that my parents eventually took the senders to task about it, and they haven't had one since, which is a shame. grin

We only get two, and both I am genuinely glad of, but I still laugh at them a bit. One from a dear ex-boyfriend which is funny because he never writes that they went/travelled/visited somewhere - it is always "headed", in every single paragraph, every year. And the other from DH's godparents. They're in their early seventies and we never see them, so it's lovely to get it, but they do go on at incredible length (and quite lovingly) about their adult children and their obscure hobbies. The daughter manages to find time for dog agility, guinea-pig breeding, square dancing and geocaching. confused

LiegeAndLief Thu 16-Dec-10 09:09:19

My mother sends one every year. My brother and I alternate between being amused and mortified.

I have still not forgiven her for the year she told every family member, friend and vague aquaintence "Liege has finally managed to get herself a boyfriend".

Unwind Thu 16-Dec-10 09:31:25

I am getting lots of photos by email, which I am begining to think are the 21st century version of the round robin. I really don't want to bother looking at them, but feel obliged to send an admiring response.

moonbells Thu 16-Dec-10 09:32:58

I'm just wondering whether I should try and write one for the older rellies who don't have email/facebook etc. Without falling into the cliche traps mentioned above! That's going to be hard, since I'm (of course!) a mummy!

UnquietDad Thu 16-Dec-10 09:40:27

Used to get the most amazingly wanky one from one of my old college friends, so it isn't just an "older generation" thing...

It was full of children's achievements, holidays, professional attainments and - most importantly - what was happening with the beloved house and its furnishings.

Three years ago she had an affair and her whole life went tits-up.

She is now divorced and happily with a new man (not the "affairee", who is long gone), but the round robins have been conspicuous by their absence recently! Shame really, I'd have loved to see her attempt to do one about the recent developments in her life...

MissClavel Thu 16-Dec-10 09:46:18

I love them but I never get any - when I get to my Mum's at Christmas, she has them ready for my perusal. It's the first thing I do.
She used to get one in the form of a newspaper called the 'Acacia Avenue Times' from an old friend of hers and his new wife - both of them had children from their first marriages, and the newspaper would always trumpet her children's achievements, while glossing over his (brilliant) children (who are my friends). One year, it said '[his son] sadly left his young family this year but we hope he will go back and face up to his responsibilities' - the situation was so, so different from the way they painted it and this must have been pointed out to them because the newspaper ceased publication at that point.

I would like to do one, just for a laugh. It would be great to bring so much entertainment to so many people.

Porcelain Thu 16-Dec-10 09:46:55

My BIL writes really dire and twee poetry which he and my sister seem to think is really clever so....

Oh yes, their round robin comes in bad poetry form.

I have contemplated writing an alternative one, just for my sister, we're a bit like the Addams'family here and I would like to be a fly on the wall when my "keeping up appearances" sister reads it.

crazycrofter Thu 16-Dec-10 09:55:28

My mother in law receives a classic every year from friends of hers. It summarises the lives and achievements of every member of their extended family - the couple, their four children and spouses, and about 10 grandchildren (and one or two spouses!) so it's a long one!!

Bizarrely, it's not written like a letter at all. It's just a list, with an entry for each family member, so for example :

John, aged 20, lovely lad, works at the local garage and very gifted at teaching in the Sunday school.

From a glance at the letter, it is immediately obvious who are the favourites - they get about 5 lines and glowing descriptions, such as 'lovely', 'delightful', 'gifted'.

For other people, it is clearly a struggle for her to think of anything to write!

The classic entry one year was -
'Jill, 20, works as a secretary, owns a Fiat Punto and often drives her sister to university.'!

One of the daughters in law was described simply as Clare, 45, devoted wife to James!

One of the sons in law is clearly a favourite as he is always a 'very good father and husband'!!!

I can't wait to read this year's letter!

BendyBobCratchit Thu 16-Dec-10 10:07:02

Oh I love the one we get from dh's uncle.

It is the most sentimental, self satisfied piece of twaddle you could ever lay eyes on and is around 85% pure fiction I reckon.

He never has to prove what he writes to anyone here though. He lives so far away he could say they'd all been dipped in gold and rolled in crushed diamonds and we'd be none the wisergrin.

loopylo Thu 16-Dec-10 10:07:36

My PIL write one every year inside home printed xmas card with photos of them and their holidays in. My dd is their 1st grandchild so appears heavily along with a photo they took of me shortly after giving birth looking like a fat toad-they always put flattering photos of them in and shit ones of me and their two ds. We take the piss every year yet every year we get ours in the post. We are so rubbish we mostly forget / too lazy to even send shop brought cards.... ops.

DoodleAlley Thu 16-Dec-10 10:19:52

We get a rr every year from DH cousins who moved to rural Canada years ago but I really like it and look forward to it.

We're not close enough to keep in proper contact but it's a nice snap shot of a completely different way of life. It reminds me not to complain too much about British winter weather!!

Never done one myself but then I don't feel like we have much to say!

jardy Thu 16-Dec-10 10:20:54

My sister and I exchange rrs so we are guilty of sniggering too.Two stick in my mind.

1.Great detail about the guinea pigs funeral.
This was an American couple,older,lots of money and no kids.It went on about Christmas not been the same since Herberts passing.

2.The most famous one was actually not a round robin,but a card.A massive red card with a giant santa,baubles etc,etc on the front
All very very jolly until it signed off :mum went missing November,dredging canal januaury.
Have a great christmas and dont get to drunck!! (sic)
I do apologise as I know it isn`t funny at all but what a thing to write after signing off a greeting card in such a jolly way!shock

NorhamGardens Thu 16-Dec-10 10:24:01

MissClavel - how funny, DH and I do exactly the same thing! MIL and my mother save them for us and they are the source of endless hilarity. 'Acacia Avenue Times'!

I wrote a spoof version when I was quite young indulging my alter ego in all sorts of jet set pursuits and meetings with celebs.All rather embarrassing looking back but so fun to write.

KittyTwoShoes Thu 16-Dec-10 10:33:52

Some relatives of ours always send a Christmas card, printed with a family photo 'edited' to be Christmassy. So rather than taking a photo of them all in Santa hats, they take an ordinary family photo and photoshop Santa hats onto themselves. I don't know why it bothers me but it does.

The worst bit is, inside they write a little poem about their year, "to the tune of Silent Night" or "to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman." I'm not sure if they expect us all to stand around as a family and sing their song or if they just feel the need to specify their inspiration.

The thing is, the daughters are 20 and 18. And they still do it. I can understand it when the children are very young, but if it were me and my parents tried to make me and my teenage brothers participate in that, we'd run a mile.

hatsybatsy Thu 16-Dec-10 10:37:25

we get 3 every year

1 is v funny - quite down to earth tellingof the ups and downs of a hectic life with 2 young children. a few pics - i like it as i don't see them much any more and they are interesting people.

2 is from one of my oldest friends as is hideously dull. they moved to france this year and most of the letter is a detailed account of daily life in france (i lived in france for 3 years - this is not news...)

3 is from people round here who we knew when ds was a baby. we have not kept in touch. the letter is full fo details about how 'happy and fulfilled Jemima is as a SAHM and cannot imagine why anyone would want to work', how 'Alicia is a super birght 7 year old who still plays constantly with George her imaginary friend' and how 'havign a house with 7 bedrooms is proving to be higher maintenance than they had expected'..... it hasn't arrived yet - do hope it's on its way as is usually v humorous...

fanofpeamum Thu 16-Dec-10 10:46:06

Jardy shock!

jardy Thu 16-Dec-10 10:47:40

Hatsy ha ha ha last two,first one I quite like the sound of her grin

Waedigirl Thu 16-Dec-10 10:58:18

Hmmmm, some of my ground rules

- OK to send picture of the DCs to relatives and old folk not online.

- Home made cards by said DC fine for grandparents (in fact desirable) and no no for any one else.

- If you send me a card "written by" your child who is not old enough to write, then I shall snigger and think slightly less of you. This applies also to thankyou letters. An approximation of a wobbly kiss from preschooler is plenty and a picture / scribble is charming. But any thankyou letter is better than none....

OMG Jardy! Did they find her mother in the canal? Was she joking? I know it's not funny but I couldn't help laughing blush

Pagwatch- your post about riding the minor royal made me rofl! grin

AbsofCroissant Thu 16-Dec-10 11:19:07

I receive three every year, via email (not particularly popular emoticon)

1. From bezzie friend, and is very interesting - she gets up to a lot of cool stuff. I was VERY chuffed to be mentioned in it last year - totally worth the 11 hour flight

2. From someone I went to school with. Is alright, not too cringy. Can be a bit cynical at times

3. From my mother. As she has to divide up space in it between her and dad's goings on, my siblings and their children and spouses, by the time it gets to the Abs part of the letter it's pretty sparse, as in "abs continues to live in London" (despite all the numerous shenanigans I get up to). She then also includes pictures, and last year managed to find the most unflattering pic of me she could. I might pre-empt her this year by either sending a touched up photo for inclusion, or say that I have not given her permission to use my image, so put a bad photo in and be sued.

BaggedandTagged Thu 16-Dec-10 11:36:32

I got one this year which just was a huge 2 page rant about bankers causing the financial crisis.

They might have had a point but it was a bit 2008

jardy Thu 16-Dec-10 11:37:45

Never found out-it was discovered in a playgroups recycling box and did the rounds!

nickeldonkeycarrymary Thu 16-Dec-10 11:48:12

ahhh, Waedi - my sister does it - i think it's cute (okay, i think it's quite tacky too)

now DNiece getting older, she does her own scribble (when i say older, she'll be 4 next year) as well.
she sent us a drawing that DN had done, and the name she wrote, oyu could about work out what the letters were! (but you'd have to know her name to tell....)

eg the K looked more like a chair with a stick coming out of the top grin

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice Thu 16-Dec-10 11:50:46

I have written our round robin this morning

i actually enjoy reading them from others, and try to keep it brief and not too boasty - we just have lots of friends who we only keep in touch with at christmas and want to carry on being in touch with

I have added a "please tick here and return to unsubscribe" box this year

[please can we have a tounge in cheek emoticon]

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice Thu 16-Dec-10 11:51:12

or tongue, even

RedSanta Thu 16-Dec-10 12:04:47

My 2 best pals and I have all had a tough time this year, and for a laugh wrote one, just for our own eyes detailing our tragic lives, which was strangely therapeutic!

An uncle writes one every year. We got it yesterday. It's only 5 printed pages this year, which is the shortest yet.

I would love to have anecdotes about pets and children. They have neither. It's all about them and their observations. It's also very precise. I remember one year reading about the size, in cubic meters, of their holiday villa in Florida, and to what degree Celsius the pool was heated.

Shall I translate it (German) and post some extracts? I've not read it so no idea what is in it.

Muira Thu 16-Dec-10 12:37:43

"The worst bit is, inside they write a little poem about their year, "to the tune of Silent Night" or "to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman." I'm not sure if they expect us all to stand around as a family and sing their song"

Kitty this had me in hysterics! Imagine all the recipients in all their respective households, singing their song, ha ha!

Muira Thu 16-Dec-10 12:41:39

Ooh, do you know what really annoys me? Cards written by one of the parents in the voice of their baby: 'Dear Muira, thank you for the babygro, mummy says I look handsome! Love from [randombaby]' hmm

Cards actually written by kids, very lovely. But the fake ones? PFB nonsense!

wussbird Thu 16-Dec-10 12:48:52

We get one where they always preach about how terribly commercialised Christmas has become, and how financially hard done by farmers are, and then in the next paragraph describe their trip to Lapland to see Santa and wonderful summer holidays to Mexico etc. grin

'Dear family, friends and acquaintances,

after a wonderful autumn with splendidly colourful leaves and almost 20°C on the last Sunday of October, November began with a temperature of 10-15°C, and overcast, wet weather. To the astonishment of our neighbours and other friends, we spent late summer and autumn at home in **** and not in Florida. Instead of that, we are considering different holiday plans but for various reasons, we can't talk about those yet.'

That's the first paragraph. The first 3 centimeters in the whole 5 page thing. And that is how they talk, all the time.

fanofpeamum Thu 16-Dec-10 12:50:39

Ooh, perhaps a few "highlights", PsecretSantead! The dog agility one I mentioned earlier is a German one too. I think they have particular potential for nausea, with all their little set phrases. I can't find this year's, but looking for a previous one I came across a one-off (thank goodness) from some other people who managed to produce a six-page colour "newspaper" with whole articles in small print entitled "Muttermilchstopp. Junior nach 13 Monaten abgestillt", "Der Autotest. Der Passat als Familienkutsche" and so on. Thankfully they've had two more children since then and the novelty has probably worn off. grin

fanofpeamum Thu 16-Dec-10 12:52:01

Sorry, crossed posts.

OMG! Chuckling in astonishment at the 'Muttermilchstopp' headline! Yes, it's the set phrases which really do my head in. It cant be autumn, it's got to be 'herrlichem Herbst' etc etc.

wussbird Thu 16-Dec-10 12:53:16

We also used to get one from MIL's batty Uncle in NZ that was just one of those 'new address' cards that you send out when you move. He would cross out the 'have' of 'we have moved' and make it into 'we haven't moved - you could write occasionally you know' and put nothing else.

Never sure if he was serious or not!

Yes, I couldn't wait blush

Oh God. We're mentioned. Only in passing, thank goodness.

They have almost a whole page dedicated to describing the birthday celebration of the Auntie, for which she chose to visit the graves of all her relatives in the company of everyone they know. We were invited to attend but unfortunately I was giving birth at the time.

risingstar Thu 16-Dec-10 13:07:27

Christmas sees us with no losses and no gains- although elderly relative may have passed on by the time you read this.

we have both hung onto our crapola jobs and no sign of redundancy being forthcoming.

our cars are a year older and that means that we have 2 4 year old cars. these are now the last cars we will ever own.

DD1 has finally given up the chello after i refused to pay for any more lessons. it cost at least £2000 for her to get to Grade 5 and abandon the instrument the term before her gcse music exam. she continues as bright but lazy.

DD2 has settled back into state school after a diasterous attempt at private school. she has learnt her place in life. she continues as bright but dyslexic but has added the label of unco-operative

DD3 has yet to master potty training at 3 and we can only understand one in every three words- she has been labelled as an "absolute darling" by nursery

holiday was spent in Wales for 2 weeks where it rained. I realised too late that teenagers should not been taken anywhere with their parents for 2 weeks. After spending the best part of £2000 the only comment was "i liked the X-BOX". Next year we are going to buy an x box and save ourselves £1700.

The fish continue to thrive, despite best attempts to over feed, forget, or switch the pump off randomly.

Hope this finds you well

All our love Rising and Family

HalfCaff Thu 16-Dec-10 13:33:17

Halfcaff's Rules for Round Robins:
Keep to one side of A4 inc. photos
No more than 4 photos
Bad news not to be ignored
Send only to people not seen recently or not on Facebook
Keep jaunty and self-deprecating tone and get independent adjudicator to check for boastfulness!
I do like a good round robin- always a disappointment to open a card with no news at all. Of course it would be lovely to have a personal hand-written account in each one but who has the time for that?
My dh's cousin did the dog in a Santa suit thing last year. No round robin but she did manage to slip in the hand-written news about her 3 week Christmas holiday with her dh and dc to US and Mexico. No other news.
It's very difficult to get the tone right - one woman's Butlins is another woman's US/Mexico, after all!

megonthemoon Thu 16-Dec-10 13:38:37

We get 2: one is from friends who own an almost-castle in Switzerland but currently work in banking in SE Asia... They are lovely face to face but somehow unbearably posh and smug on paper!

The other is from someone DH knows and is very open and honest. One year they went into great detail on their DD's descent into the depths of anorexia... We had to wait with bated breath until the next Christmas to find out she was well along the road to recovery!

alexandra65 Thu 16-Dec-10 14:34:41

A (male) friend of mine used to send round robins - loved reading them - about his perfect life with fulfilling job, wife and son .... when he came out the closet and ran off with another man they stopped for some reason ....

Greenshadow Thu 16-Dec-10 15:25:08

Love getting Round Robins and am really disappointed when I open a card from someone who usually sends one but hasn't this year.

We don't all see our old friends on a regular basis (I have moved round the country more times than I care to remember) and this is often the only way of catching up on family news.

OmicronPersei8 Thu 16-Dec-10 16:20:18

I do one (following your rules HalfCaff) and send it to only four people, including family we haven't seen this year, a lovely friend I haven't seen all year and a woman who was like a second mother to me growing up, who I also haven't seen all year.

Surely this is more personal than sharing on Facebook that you have toothache with a bunch of semi-strangers including your ex and someone you once sat next to in a Spanish class aged 14?

civil Thu 16-Dec-10 17:15:58

I love round robins. I am even happy to read those of people I don't know (E.g. ones friends receive).

We used to have smug family who wrote to our family each Christmas - we looked forward to those immensely. And one year, one of the smug family got expelled from school! (It wasn't phrased quite like that, of course!)

However, most we receive now and nice to read and I love seeing photos of children growing up. I don't feel any of the ones that we receive now are from people trying to talk themselves up.

Jajas Thu 16-Dec-10 17:25:11

Good grief, give me a humourous (whether intentional or not!) RR anyday over that odious FB 'thing' <old gimmer>

risingstar I love yours, go on send it, I dare you wink.

sethstarofbethlehemsmum Thu 16-Dec-10 17:36:41

My parents get a fabulous one from friends who live on a smallholding and raise rare breed goats. It is full of detailed info about the goats and other animals, and only occasionally the odd throwaway line about one of their children - think half a page on all the ins and outs of a cow calving and the info that they've had their first grandchild being tucked away in the format 'and then we went from the agricultural show to see dd and her new baby. There were some remarkable goats at the agricultural show....'

TheNextMrsClaus Thu 16-Dec-10 17:40:29

grin Risingstar! I might adopt your text for next year's missive.

sethstarofbethlehemsmum Thu 16-Dec-10 17:46:24

she'd best not send it to the elderly relatives who are about to pass away, though, eh? wink

coccyx Thu 16-Dec-10 17:51:51

Fetch the vomit bowl

risingstar Thu 16-Dec-10 18:36:15

i did actually send something similar to inlaws of inlaws who every year send us a complete list of music exams passed(with grade), school entrance exams and the fact that their three children made a clean sweep in the village show. they also mention the exact make and model of their new cars and their trips to Australia. what tipped me over the edge was the ps "mum died in february- we all miss her"
funnily enough, we seem to have been taken off their list
grin

MrsHavisham Thu 16-Dec-10 19:35:44

Some friends of my parents sent one in 2001 saying that although it had been a bad year for America, it had been a great year for them! Seriously!

ShoppingDays Thu 16-Dec-10 20:05:33

Not personally too keen on the deliberately "realistic" ones either. Just as purposefully done, but to demonstrate "I'm not smug! Here's my true-to-life letter!"

ShoppingDays Thu 16-Dec-10 20:07:12

Smug about not being smug, IYSWIM...

KERALA1 Thu 16-Dec-10 20:53:49

Just had a wonderful one. Some lovely family friends first baby died of a genetic condition - their new baby doesnt have it. Such good news grin.

chocolatecheesecake Thu 16-Dec-10 21:04:47

My friend's parents always used to send a round robin - until they found an old one had been included (suitably anonymised of course) in a book of round robins. They're still trying to work out which recipient passed it to the book's author... grin

DaisySteiner Thu 16-Dec-10 21:05:16

The card arrived from my favourite round-robiners yesterday and I was gutted that there was no RR inside sad. I'm considering contacting them to ask if it was an accidental omission and if so, could they email a copy. I blame Simon Hoggart angry

Gogopops Thu 16-Dec-10 22:23:53

I have kept my favourite one from 3 years ago and dug it out this evening to have a snigger look at.
A friend of the family, she tells us how her employers are transferring her to Canada to set up the Canadian arm of their bank - what an honour. A drag for her to be leaving Monaco. 3 year old DD is fluent in french, her nursery in the foothills of the mountains where the children help look after a farm - harvesting olives, daily horseriding and ski-ing?! DD then single handedly decorated the xmas tree that year and what an achievement for a 3 year old. Blah, blah, blah.
Nearly choked on my corn flakes when I read it.
I'm thinking of framing it. Sadly, that was the only one we had off her. I'm hoping she's going to send one this year.

cerealqueen Thu 16-Dec-10 22:39:03

I feel the pain of all the receivers of the HATED Round Robin. My American SIL writes one every year.

One year, after losing my Dad, his death was relegated to a very short paragraph in the round robin. I was in tears, as were my aunts and uncles. She did not mean to be unfeeling, just didn't think, and i don't think my brotehr ever read it before it was sent,

Best of all though, one year, we got a DVD Round Robin, all about SIL's pregnancy and the birth of my niece. My Dad also got one, but he had no DVD player. It was sent care of me to give to my Dad. We all met up at his house over xmas. As he had no DVD player, I didn't bring it with me. My other brother though had been instructed to bring his DVD player to my dad's house. But we had no DVD to watch (he didn't think to bring his copy) My brother in the US went ballistic at me and I suggested he send photos of his newborn rather than a bloody DVD my dad couldn't watch.

The worst thing was that that this DVD was sent as our xmas gift, all wrapped up. I kid you not. One for each of us. But, as I was sharing a flat with my sister, we got one between us. grin

My sister sent one a few years ago- all about how she had pulled children out of school and was homeschooling using Cbeebies, about how she had cut back her alcohol problems to one bottle of vodka a day etc etc and was a bit stunned by how far we all got into it before we realised she was joking!! grin
It was very very funny though!!
Can't find it now otherwise I'd post it.

Jajas Thu 16-Dec-10 23:19:17

Brilliant brilliant brilliant grin!!!

lololizzy Thu 16-Dec-10 23:31:50

got one from distant aussie rellie with almost minute by minute diary of childbirth...all the gory details. My dad's side of family and he couldn't read it lol!

CocktailQueen Thu 16-Dec-10 23:31:58

Oh I can see your point but I do one blush for rellies we don;t see that often - promise I don't include any exotic sports/mentions of illnesses/too many boasts about the kids' academic prowess... and I like receiving them as they make me grin

commeuneimage Thu 16-Dec-10 23:33:39

Someone once sent me a rr boasting amongst other things how she and her husband had bought matching 'his and hers' Range Rovers during the year.

Enough said.

ShoppingDays Fri 17-Dec-10 01:03:53

If something good has happened is there any possibility of including it in a RR without people saying you're boasting? I suspect not and for that reason alone it's probably better to just not write one

MummyMyfanwy Fri 17-Dec-10 01:48:48

I only ever get 1 round robin sadly and as far as RR go - its not too bad.

My mum gets a few though. I was lucky enough to be there last weekend when the most amusing one arrived!! On the one hand it is just so depressing but its kind of hilarious too! Even my Dad was in stitches as I read it out.
The letter goes into great detail of the hardships of life - how they no longer have a milkman, the local tesco has stopped stocking their fave brand of gravy granules meaning they have to make the ardous journey to Morrissons now all of 1/2 a mile further up the road,their dear grand daughter just missed being selected for the regional synchronised swimming team due to falling off the trampolene and breaking he collar bone, the fact their pet rabbit dissapeared and is feared eaten by the local fox, they have had to buy new funeral outfits due to the recent surge in close friends passing.I kid you not - there was even a little detailed section on how their youngest DD who is travelling Australia had her handbag stolen by a Kangaroo!!! Lots of moaning about how the local buses have changed their time table making it difficult to get to the Drs surgery when their favourite marvellous GP is on duty followed by the large paragraph on their ever increasing health problems and ailments. There is disturbing fine detail of their painful and itchy piles and how having them tied went!!

Almost cannot wait for next years now!

Bonsoir Fri 17-Dec-10 08:01:10

Got my annual prizewinning RR from a superlative-loving relative this morning. Includes (by no means exclusively):

flourishing, great, fab, demanding, exasperating, incredibly rewarding, excellent, fabulous, lovely, very good, fantastic, gory, compelling, really well, brilliant, deliriously happy, thrive, extremely, very happy, wholly fabulous, real affection, madly in love, exquisite, thrillingly, ambitious, adores, loves, passionate, devoted, wonderful, revelation, superb

You get the drift.

jugglingjo Fri 17-Dec-10 08:05:44

Fantastic !

Loved the gravy granules !

Thanks for sharing it with us ! fsmile

megonthemoon Fri 17-Dec-10 08:06:03

Awww Kerala - that is exactly the sort of news that should be in a RR

Ha! Bet no one got one saying, 'we're just so proud of dd, who went to [poor South American country] and volunteered. No hot water! No i phone! Poor people making their own tortillas! DD was there for 6 weeks! After a good season playing softball, beauty and brains, she has early admission to [fancy ivy league university].

Ugh.

jugglingjo Fri 17-Dec-10 08:39:03

The f is for ** !

Just joking ! wink

jugglingjo Fri 17-Dec-10 08:49:21

Can't wait to get the one from my brother now !

I usually find it slightly annoying -

It generally turns me slightly green, whether with envy or queeziness I can't be quite sure !

But this thread has me looking forward to it with a new eager anticipation wink

londonkiwi Fri 17-Dec-10 09:46:02

Maybe I'm just nosey but I LOVE reading the RR's my parents get - if they're smug then all the better for entertainment value.

I would much rather read a RR than get a boring Christmas card with just names and no news - I've never seen the point of that.

sethstarofbethlehemsmum Fri 17-Dec-10 09:51:51

'If something good has happened is there any possibility of including it in a RR without people saying you're boasting? I suspect not'

my mother worried about this so in order to deflect accusations of boasting she would accompany each boast about her child with a little dig about them 'Ds1 is engaged, why anybody would want to marry him is beyond me!'
note to anyone who thinks this is a good idea - it is not. You will sound mean and when your children find it they will be upset angry

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Fri 17-Dec-10 10:49:51

We get one from my BIL (SIL's husband, no blood relation to either of us) which I look forward to every year because it is so dull it transcends dullness. The best one was a couple of years ago where the highlights were the picket fence he'd built (complete with 'Fig A' and 'Fig B' black and white photos, and details about how he'd researched and closely followed the appopriate heritage style. And they'd installed water tanks, thus reducing their mains usage to 48.2% of the mean average usage in their city. It was a thing of beauty.

And he writes things like "in the last twelve (12) months" and "now is an appropriate time to reflect upon our lives and the year gone by" and "one hopes that the constabulary will eventually apprehend these individuals". Without irony.

He's 30 (thirty).

fanofpeamum Fri 17-Dec-10 10:58:26

"One hopes that the constabulary will eventually apprehend these individuals!" ROFL! grin
It reminds me of a drama at school when one of my brother's friends was allegedly "party to the purloining of a sausage roll" from the school canteen"!

JumpJockey Fri 17-Dec-10 11:11:42

Now that we've got dd (age 2) I was hoping to do an ironic sort of one eg "DD is getting on very well at ballet class" with pic of her in ridiculous fancy dress skirt, "DD is making great progress with her skiing", pic of her face down in the snow. Would that just be really w*nky?

sethstarofbethlehemsmum Fri 17-Dec-10 11:13:13

people won't get the irony and it will end up on here/in a Simon Hoggart book.

imahappycamper Fri 17-Dec-10 11:34:03

My favourite round robin this year gives details of a university reunion they went to where they didn't know anyone (no one else from their year turned up) and a camp reunion they went to for a camp they didn't go to confused.

According to the Daily Telegraph and Debretts round robins are totally unacceptable. Phew what a relief as I didn't do one this year.

chocolateshoes Fri 17-Dec-10 11:42:56

this thread is making me laugh out loud. Bringing much needed merriment to the flu-ridden. Thank you!

thumbplumpuddingwitch Fri 17-Dec-10 11:47:23

Have had 2 so far - both regular senders and both I love to receive.

No doubt you all would find one of them wanktastic, but I love the creativity that is involved in it - this year's effort is to make it look like a clothing catalogue.

The other one I am just pleased to be able to receive as it means the friend who sends it is still alive, despite having a horrible year with the recurrence of her breast cancer and some very high dose chemotherapy, surgery and then radiotherapy.

I started one this year and then realised I actually don't have a whole lot of any interest to say - unlike the last 3 years which have been rather eventful. So I doubt I'll bother.

OTheHugeManatee Fri 17-Dec-10 11:49:19

wussbird, your batty NZ uncle who hadn't moved just made me cackle out loud.

grin

LouCracker Fri 17-Dec-10 11:55:49

We received one a couple of years ago from some friends who had moved to Canada earlier that year. They enclosed 19 photos for us to envy look at - a photo of every room in their new house!

They obviously have no intention of inviting us over there! grin

thumbplumpuddingwitch Fri 17-Dec-10 12:08:40

I have a thing I hate worse than RRs. The year my bro's DC was born, he sent each of us, for our Christmas present, a homemade calendar - each month was a pic of his DC, with or without parent(s). Since DC was born in Feb, the first 2 were of his pg gf (who no one else in the family could stand).

IS this worse than smugtastic RRs? Or AIBU?

nickeldonkeycarrymary Fri 17-Dec-10 12:16:40

thumb you just need to put "this year's not been as interesting as previous years - highlights include finding a new brand of baked beans and DH mowing the lawn twice (due to bad weather)" or something like that....
grin

thumbplumpuddingwitch Fri 17-Dec-10 12:20:09

PMSL nickeldonkey! Actually, now you put me in mind of it, I could do something heinous clever like that...
evil grin

sethstarofbethlehemsmum Fri 17-Dec-10 12:45:05

I personally think extreme pfbishness is very cute. Because the odds are they will look back on it and realise one day, whereas mere conceited smugness is with people forever.

Curiousmama Fri 17-Dec-10 13:20:01

shock at the calendar thumb! You have to do something wankerish back wink

thumbplumpuddingwitch Fri 17-Dec-10 13:30:32

I was tempted, Curiousmama - but felt I needed to maintain the moral high ground so I could continue to be properly outraged at the wankerishness of it! wink

It was, however, the last time we exchanged presents (just in case).

Maisiethemorningsidecat Fri 17-Dec-10 13:48:29

We get one from my Aunt in Canada every year. My redneck cousin "continues to work on her relationship with R", which roughly translates as "despite having a 4 year old son together, they live apart and have regular dramatic break ups and make up even though they are both almost 30. Their most recent make up (following his transgression which was made public on Facebook) has resulted in their second child being conceived. They still don't live together, but he did help her and his son move into another flat, and she thanked him profusely again through FB for his help"

valleyqueen Fri 17-Dec-10 15:53:59

My mum got one from her aunt last year. It detailed her break up from her husband, his infidelity the reaction of their (adult children). It was literally a blow by blow account and was reall cringy. But the ending was the bit that shocked my mum the most.

Oh and by the way your grandmother died in September, funeral was ok currently have her house on market. Merry Xmas.

ampere Fri 17-Dec-10 16:08:39

...."Bruno very much enjoyed his volunteering in Burundi as part of his final year of medical school- thankfully he has been accepted at (name of prestigious hospital)"..."Lucia, always keen to try and 'best' her big brother has done exceptionally well in her 'A' levels, getting the 4 she needed to go to (names same Med school bro is at). She's really enjoying rock climbing this year though how she fits it in with all her other activities we'll never know!..." "Imagine our surprise when Geoffrey was awarded the honour of an CBE....!".

All in the same RR, about 3 years ago.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Fri 17-Dec-10 16:47:32

<shudder> Ampere

Are people really so insecure that they have to resort to bragging about each and every 'achievement' (if that's how you see a CBE..)?

Riddo Fri 17-Dec-10 16:57:08

DH visited his aunt in the summer with dd and ds on the way back from camping. They also had dd's friend X with them.

Aunts letter refers to visit from Mr Riddo, dd, ds and X so I'm waiting for the questions.

Riddo, have you had another child?

Mr Riddo , have you got a new woman?

Why??

jugglingjo Fri 17-Dec-10 17:09:43

Go for it Jumpjockey !

Leap those fences at a gallop !

Great idea.

You'll love doing it, and she'll love seeing it when she's older.

I'm sure it will raise a lot of smiles and laughs amongst receipients too smile

Don't forget to send me a copy wink

PlanetEarth Fri 17-Dec-10 17:45:38

Basically I agree with HalfCaff. I send an A5 sheet that's mainly photos and a couple of sentences of news about each of us.

I do feel disappointed when I get a card from people I haven't been in touch with all year, and it just says, "Merry Christmas" - I want to know what's going on in their lives, and yes it's hard when you've all got families to find the time to personalise each card.

DVD? That's just mad!

Normasnorks Fri 17-Dec-10 18:00:58

Got one this morning - I really like the family, but for some reason the RR brings out the worst in them..

The hubby has some new job which involves him going to movie premieres, so about an A4 side was devoted to a bragfest about how many red carpet 'do's they'd been to , and which slebs they'd met etc etc

Wifey is a School Governor and there was loads of stuff about all the awful things which had been going on at the school, which the 'ordinary' parents didn't know about (problems, scandals etc) and how stressful it had been. Thing is, we all know which school her kids are at, so I can't help feeling she was being completely out of order by publicising all this stuff in a blargy RR.

Oh, and there was a blow by blow account of their puppy's progress at puppy training camp hmm

DanZZZenAroundTheTreeAgain Fri 17-Dec-10 18:02:47

I don't get any show-offy ones

Normasnorks Fri 17-Dec-10 18:02:55

(I meant blardy RR)

TottWriter Fri 17-Dec-10 18:23:09

Is it wrong that this thread is making me want to write an utterly poncetastic rr of my very own?

"This year TottWriter's crowning achievement was baking an only slightly burnt carrot cake, and, and we bought a new bed from IKEA..."

Oh bugger, we already sent the cards. grin

DanZZZenAroundTheTreeAgain Fri 17-Dec-10 18:25:21

I am sometimes surprised at the photos. I like photos generally but I don't know why people feel the need to send photos of their new car etc (not in a show-offy manner really just to show their current car). Just find it strange.

clam Fri 17-Dec-10 18:27:56

I got one this morning, funnily enough.

"The ..... glacier from our own pictorial records has receded at least a kilometre and a half since 1976"

"Our senses were overwhelmed in the spring when we took a rail journey through Scotland. The gorse lay like golden cloaks over the hills and peaks and the heady perfume from the broom encouraged us to sit and dream..."

"I continue to paint, with nudes my passion. They keep so still."

"The garden at Hobbits (their house) remains a joy. DH has struggled to rebuild his model railway in Frodo's room after last year's disaster ( hmm no idea), and the refurbishment of Mum's bedroom is now a sewing room known as Baggin' or Bilbo's.

Inspired!

VivaLeBeaver Fri 17-Dec-10 19:39:24

I got one today, always get one from same couple every year along with a family photo that's their Xmas card. (as if I'm putting that up).

Apparantly they now have a working toilet and a sink in the bathroom. And the hall has been decorated but the carpet is late being delivered. Fantastic, I'll be able to sleep easy at night now, well apart from worrying about the carpet.

upsydaisysexstylist Fri 17-Dec-10 20:35:18

My dearv 72 year old Dad gets a fabulous card version from an exgirlfriend who married a slightly famous comedian. This year she is clinging on to his arm for dear life, whilst all his professional acheivements are listed inside.my particular favourite was the christmas tree where each bauble was a picture one of their family, or golden wedding or fist communion. Love that herhair is still jet black in all the picturesv though

Maisiethemorningsidecat Fri 17-Dec-10 20:45:38

Clam - that is priceless grin

thebody Fri 17-Dec-10 21:34:14

but they are a good laff to recieve though.

my mate sent me one her sister in law had sent her and honestly it was sooo funny.. basically she wanted to tell the world that her daughter had passed the 11+... so she put it as 'an finally' soooooo lol...

where would we be without these saddos though..

I also got a christmas card from the middle east.. in post card format.. with pictures of the couple and their kids in various poses on the beach.. like royalty... bless!!!

usualsuspect Fri 17-Dec-10 21:36:27

Clam ,you win grin

VivaLeBeaver Fri 17-Dec-10 22:08:06

I can't decide if people who send this drivel out are either so self absorbed they think others will love to read it, or so dull that they would love to read this sort of stuff from other people and therefore think everyone else is the same.

mckenzie Fri 17-Dec-10 22:13:10

my friend had one today that was 14 pages long!!

DorothyThompson Fri 17-Dec-10 22:22:18

it's a tangent, but what I hate is people who sign off their round robins /xmas cards from their pets as well as themselves. tres twee non?

coodles Fri 17-Dec-10 22:23:24

Unfortunately we get several every year.

The best/worst was one sent some years ago. The format was that of a Christmas tree shaped quiz.

Every clue was about the senders, ie where did Gary and Emma meet?

Where did Gary's brother get married?

What start up company did Gary work for in 1999?

Etc. There must have been about 25 clues. In one word, it was complete and utter............

TWADDLEBOLLOCKS.

cariboo Fri 17-Dec-10 22:33:06

We've never sent a round robin but enjoy receiving them so we can take the piss.

This year is problematic. How do you send ANYTHING when you're in the thick of a divorce?

usualsuspect Fri 17-Dec-10 22:37:37

I've never had a round robin sad pm me one if you like grin

BerylStreep Fri 17-Dec-10 22:59:58

If my MIL sends one (which I suspect she does, but we don't get copied into) it would read as follows:

DD blah blah boast boast
Other DD blah blah boast boast
DS (my DH) blah blah boast boast, we have such a close relationship, life is wonderful, I am so close to his DC, in fact I look after them every week. hmm

I know this because we get a constant feed from DH's cousin, whose Mum and my MIL are frenemies grin

Never let the truth get in the way of a round robin.

crabb Sat 18-Dec-10 04:09:10

Our local newspaper referred to them today as "boast it notes" smile

kickassangel Sat 18-Dec-10 04:56:57

we have friends who do sections from each of the kids - written in the first person, even when they were only a few months old.

cringe.

pippitysqueakity Sat 18-Dec-10 08:10:32

Only time I was ever mentioned in one (to my knowledge smile was when was jilted week before wedding. 'Squeak is coping well with disappointment '. Was nearest have ever been to suicidal at that point...

sphil Sat 18-Dec-10 08:59:54

We got one a few years ago which listed all the words their two year old could say ('triceratops'etc). As DS2 had just been diagnosed with autism with the main symptom being severe speech delay it was particularly sensitive...
And they were close friends too - no chance that they just didn't realize.

jugglingjo Sat 18-Dec-10 11:04:37

Dear Sphil,

Possible though that they didn't give much thought to who they were sending their RR to, as they raced through their address book.

I guess that's one of the hazards of the round robin.

I'm sure they wouldn't have been so insensitive if they were writing individual notes in cards.

duvetdays Sat 18-Dec-10 11:36:00

My parents used to get a photograph every year from a family with 10 children (she had 4, he had 4 and they had 2 together) they used to stand around a Henry Moore or something on their huge estate and the diamond on the wife's finger seemed to get bigger and bigger and their chests kept puffing out. As the children grew up and moved away, some of them would get edited into the pic but not terribly well - slightly too big heads etc. wink Don't know what happens now as their numbers extend to the size of a small country.

nickeldonkeycarrymary Sat 18-Dec-10 13:22:33

I don't think we'll ever send one! shock

when we wrote our cards, I put a quick update note in some of them, and when DH went to sign his name, he said "blimey, writing essays in these!"
hmm

He had to write his own RR because he sends cards to people he never sees (old bosses and some people who used to go to our church but mved away) - he actually had to ask me if he should put my name in the card because they didn't know he was now married shock .
So i made him write a RR in them briefly to explain who this "andrea" was.
it went:

It's been a busy year - the most important thing was that I married andrea in august. (bit i can't remembeR) and I'm really enjoying being married!
mum is still in a residential home on ####### and is keeping well.
I'm still the organist at St Michael's and still a postie. Andrea runs a bookshop in the High Street.

and that was the whole thing! grin

but he had to write it out by hand 4 times, so....
Bless grin

scottishmummy Sat 18-Dec-10 13:40:40

i dont know anyone so bawheided as to send those braggy letters

vulgar

Kristingle Sat 18-Dec-10 13:43:01

You are a hard and cynical lot. I LIKE seeing photos of new babies, dogs, summer hols of beach, grannies 80th birthday etc

scottishmummy Sat 18-Dec-10 13:46:21

a bragfest of how very smashing someone and their mandarin speaking advanced for age children are is not my cup of tea

nickeldonkeycarrymary Sat 18-Dec-10 14:00:47

Kristingle - photos of new babies, dogs, summer hols of beach, grannies 80th birthday are fine.
bragfest of how very smashing someone and their mandarin speaking advanced for age children is not.

grin

sphil Sat 18-Dec-10 14:11:50

Jugglingjo - Im sure you're right and I know they didn't mean to be insensitive. We're still friends!

sieglinde Sat 18-Dec-10 15:22:42

Erm, I never send them because I get so many grim ones from competitive friends - 'dd has passed Grade 7 harpsichord'.

I had thought of compiling something cheeringly downbeat this holiday season - we still haven't fixed the shower or finished papering the living room, dd's astigmatism is worse, I might need more surgery in the New Year, dh's firm have decided not to pay bonuses this year, my father has gone a bit doolally, the dog is now officially incontinent, my pension contributions are up by 2.5%, no, I still haven't finished the magnum opus or pulled in a giant slab of grant money,only minnows .... All true. But it isn't very pleasant reading when the schadenfreude is over. And even a mumsnet posting is a bridge too far towards self-pity. Besides, it would trigger compeittion in misfortunes. 'My cancer is back'...

I did once get one from a very old acquaintance which began, 'Well, as you all know from the press, James is in jail this Christmas'....it went on to list the usual sporting triumphs.

LondonMother Sat 18-Dec-10 15:33:38

Bit hard to top that opener, Sieglinde! Loving this thread.

cakewench Sat 18-Dec-10 19:58:29

Not read the whole thread, but I just wanted to say I actually like these sort of letters. I know there the braggy ones, but luckily I don't seem to know those sort of people. I only get them from a few friends from back home, but I like to see what they've been up to. We keep in touch on FB, but I don't hear everything.

Greenshadow Sun 19-Dec-10 12:14:35

Perhaps you lot who get 'braggy' RRs from your friends need to change your friends....
Most of the few we receive are factual and often funny - great to receive.
We tend to send them when we get round to remembering to write one in time - ie every 2 or 3 years and then I think we end up deliberately playing down successes and probably end up sounding a family of failures!

jardy Mon 20-Dec-10 19:39:22

i work hard to make my rr newsy but not boastful at all and photos to make it a bit interesting.If I dont get one back i dont send,then i am asked please send us your rr.
Trouble is,i think some recipients like to snigger and so ask if they can have one.But this thread has made me change my mind about sending ones to those that request.Cos I think it is to laugh.Therefore if they dont send one they are not getting one and i hope they get the message.angry

jugglingjo Mon 20-Dec-10 22:11:16

Hi Jardy,

Not everyone has the time or energy to put a good RR together.

I think it's a slight shame if you don't send one to those who ask.

Few will laugh if it's sensitively written with lots of nice, friendly pics.

But obviously it's your call !

jardy Thu 06-Jan-11 16:21:40

jugglingjo ! Ok,I will send one out,I`ve changed my mind,it seems a bit mean if they genuinely liked them enough to say so,thankssmile

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