second hand for one, new for the other

[flabbyapronbelly]

Just wondering your opinion on this. I have bought DS (will be 17 months at xmas)an ELC second hand car garage from ebay as this was what I thought he would love and he is obviously too young to ask for things. They are £40 new and this was £15 and is in box etc. DD will be 4.8 and has been asking for a few months for a guitar. Have looked around and have found a good electronic one that does lots of cool stuff for £35. Becuase of them being fiddly and electronic i am wary of getting one second hand. I do feel bad though that one child will get something new, the other second hand. We don't have much money but could have afforded a new garage and I am all for it for ethical and financial reasons. I think dd s still too young to know one is new and one is not as well, but I wonder what my family (parents, b and sil) will wonder when the kids come to open their pressies. Am I over thinking this? Should I get him something small that is new and give him the garage a few days before xmas?

[MrsKitty]

Why on earth would you give him the garage a few days before xmas?

You are overthinking this big time, I think! He won't care whether you bought it from a shop or from a boot sale, or how much it cost, as long as it's able to be played with. Don't give a thought to what your family might think.

[SE13Mummy]

I do think you are overthinking this one. You've already said that your DS will love the garage so surely that is what matters, not how much you spent on it or whether or not it has belonged to someone else previously. Last Christmas DD1 (aged 5) received secondhand Lego as her main pressie - she was desperate for Lego bricks (as opposed to sets) and she got far more than we'd have been able to buy if we'd bought them new.

DD1 sits with me whilst I search for particular things on eBay - most recently this was for a specific ELC till that her cousin loves and that DD1 thought would make a good Christmas pressie. We found one and bought it, no-one in our family will mind that it is of the 'pre-loved' variety but all will be impressed that we tracked down an exact replica of DD's (a colour and type that isn't made any more).

I would say that now is the time to introduce your DD to the concept that gifts are about choosing something special for another person and that new/otherwise doesn't really matter.

[tulpe]

You are over thinking this .... And I mean that with (un--MN love :). )

Give it to him on christmas day. Do not even begin to explain to family that it isn't "new".

You are so right to take this approach.

[feetheart]

Totally agree that if its something he will love it doesn't matter where it came from.

DS will be 4 in Nov - he is getting something new for his birthday and something I paid £3 for at a car boot sale for Christmas. He will love both - a scooter and an ELC castle.

[ChasingSquirrels]

totally overthinking it.
ds2 had ds1's old toys for christmas when he was 23mo.

[StarExpat]

I got ds an elc garage second hand off Netmums for his birthday (2). He loves it and doesn't care that it isn't brand new (in great condition). I did get a few looks when I told certain people but who cares? I saved £40 and ds was so happy! He plays with it constantly!
I wouldn't even say anything about it, tbh. Just let him open it and enjoy :) anyone who says anything is ridiculous.

[bytheMoonlight]

DD will getting an easel we received from Freecycle. It's in fantastic condition and with all the paints set up
and a balloon tied to it she'll think its great.

I don't feel guilty and don't think you should, as long as your ds will love it that's all that matters.

As things get harder in this country, people will have to get used to not being so materialistic and see second hand things as you do, green and ethical.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

he is 17 months old, he doesn't know the concept of second hand..just "nice toys"

[GeekOfTheWeek]

You are massively overthinking this.

Don't feel bad at all, they will love their gifts.

[IAPJJLPJ]

My ds is 7 years and I have been shopping on ebay today. He doesn't know that things have been loved my people before him. All he cares about is that he now has them. I will continue to do this for as long as I can.

[Doodleydoo]

I would have thought he will love it regardless - I started buying dd toys second hand - I am far less precious about them being ruined and/or left outside as they have already seen some loving!

If it makes you feel better ds will be getting 2nd hand for xmas - actually recycled from his sisters toys so.........I am far meaner really! -and before anyone asks I did start a thread to see if it would be ok!

[RhinestoneCowgirl]

I had an odd conversation last year with my neighbour who was worrying about spending exactly the same amount on her 4 yr old as her 7 yr old. For me it's about finding presents that the individual child will enjoy, doesn't really matter if they are second hand.

And anyway, small children have no idea of monetary value!

[whinetime]

you are definitely overthinking this!!

just get them what they would most benefit from - be that new, second hand, or whatever.

[seaturtle]

The garage is a great toy. Bought DS one new but with 20% off for his 1st birthday. If I'd seen one in a charity shop I wouldn't have hesitated.

Toys are expensive new. I get a lot from the local charity shops, including Christmas and birthday presents. Including his main gift last year of a £5 second hand Fisher Price ride on lion. We were both happy!

[polkadottytotty]

I've just bought my DS a 2nd hand keyboard from ebay for his birthday with no qualms whatsoever. Not only are you saving money but you are also recycling unwanted goods. How can that be bad!

[Rockbird]

Ooh I'm going to be the lone voice here 'cos although the presents are fine and I have no problem with second hand, I would stick a couple of quid in DS's piggy bank to even it out a bit, but then our family has a really strong sense of fair play .

[jetcat]

when my DD was younger, second hand was (still is mostly) all i could afford. So, the toys santa gave her came with a note, saying that like the toys in Toy Story, these toys need someone very kind to look after and play with them, as their old owners didnt want them anymore. DD was over the moon that she was rescuing toys!

OP - i agree with the others - at 17month, he isnt going to notice, let alone care

[tjacksonpfc]

We have just ordered off ebay a presant for ds he got a hornby trainset for his birthday bought new.

We are now buying trains and accessories off of ebay for a fraction of the cost. we got a train and carriage yesterday for £9 that should be £60 in the shop.

I'm all for recycling toys my dcs don't care where they get them from they are happy with anything.

[StarExpat]

recycling = excellent
saving money = excellent
DS is 2 and doesn't know about value of money at all. I never once compared cost of presents or amount of presents with my sister growing up. Not even once did it cross my mind.
Gifts are to be graciously appreciated and never expected. That was what my parents instilled. I hope to instill the same in ds.

[MackerelOfFact]

The ones looking askance at you buying second hand will be the same ones spending their entire Christmas day wrestling toys out of packaging designed to withstand nuclear warfare, and assembling plastic crap with instructions in Dutch.

You save money and hassle therefore you win. And a 17mo has NO idea. Does he turn his nose up at the toys at playgroup or the doctors or at a friends' house because they aren't brand new for his use? Of course not. He doesn't care. :)

[StarExpat]

What a cool name, MackerelOfFact