Hi there, my dd will be starting pre school in sept age 3 year 1 month. She has a soft rabbit that she is really attached too and takes it almost everywhere. When she has it, she holds its ear and rubs it on her nose and sucks her thumb. During the day she picks it up on and off, but sometimes it prevents her from playing properly as she is sucking her thumb and only has one hand free to play! She takes it to the child minders, where the other children have comfort toys , but dont seem as attached to theirs as my ds. She is quite a quiet and reserved, but i feel its holding her back more. If we suggest leaving it at home, she gets really upset. Should i go cold turkey and just take it away during the day? Any ideas welcome. Thanks

does she have to give it up for preschool?

I had a soft toy rabbit as a child.

they might let her keep it in a tray when she's there

dd did this and a few others - became routine to tuck it away at beginning of session and returning it at end

Could the rabbit sit on a high shelf and watch dd play, coming down if she became upset. Then you could progress to rabbit coming with you to shop to buy a carrot etc.

Our pre-school does not discourage as they grow out in own time.

yes, ds had a muslin. He put it in a tray on the way in and got it on the way out.

That way, if they get upset, they are allowed a cuddle with it but don't drag it around when they play iyswim.

Could she take it but leave it in her nursery bag??Thats what ds did with his .It "sleeps" in his nursery bag until hometime

She will need that rabbit.

It's not school, she'll be just 3. Go on, let her have the bunny.

Hi there, thanks for your quick response! I have heard a rumour about a tray in school to put things in, but she can be really stubborn at times, so not sure if it would cause more problems and anxiety giving it to a teacher.

Let her keep it.

kernow, let her take her rabbit. She is still very little and if she needs comfort while you are not there, then let her use her rabbit.

Both dds have comfort toys. they absolutely needed and wanted them when they first started nursery. As their confidence improves they will need the comfort toy less and less.

dd2 (nearly 3), left her rabbit on the bottom step today. "mee mee stay at home today mummy" she said. First time that has ever happened.

Loving your lovely messages, Perhaps he could sleep in her bag, hes called babbety by the way. Thats a good idea wrinkly tum

she might copy the other children and put it in the tray

either way, don't worry about it. The nursery staff would have seen it all before. She may cling onto him really tight for the first few times and then gradually start putting him down.

Ds put the muslin over his head for about the first two weeks and only then started letting it go for a bit!

I'd say let her have it too, with the view that between you and pre=school you'll work slowly on her becoming less attached as she gets nearer to starting school.
My dd1 started pre-school at this age, and was immensely attached to her bedraggled andy pandy soft doll, she had to take it everywhere, and would not put it down.
I let her take it to nursery as I noticed other kids did, and they put theirs in the box, but the only way dd1 would settle was if she could keep him with her.
The staff said she held him all day, and it stopped her joining in a lot, especially in the playground, as she would not put him down to join hands etc. I could see this for myself on many occassions when I picked her up.
It was a gradual thing, but as she grew in confidence and made friends naturally without pressure she got less attached, and was able to leave him in the box, and evnetually even leave him at home,
Now she is 5 and in reception, and poor old andy pandy never leaves the house anymore ! When once he was almost the centre of her world !
she still has to have him in bed every night though, bless her.
So I wouldn 't worry just yet, give it time, it gives her comfort.

I gave up my comfort thing................well I haven't yet
I's a ribbon and I don't carry it around and no one would notice I have it.
She won't be the only one with a comfort toy at nursery and they'll know how to handle it.

yes, I still have my rabbit . But I have learned to put him in the tray now . So everyone gets there in the end!

hey kernow, noticed your name, don't you just love the accents on doc martin?

Actually, since you're on here i guess you're not watching it.

Sorry, back to the thread.......

my dd's pre-school actively encourages you to pack dc's bag with a comfort toy, just in case they get upset during the session.
3 is still a baby.

My ds is 3yrs 3mths and has just started nuresery in the last mth, he has a small comfort blanket which he wont sleep without and as a genral went everywere with us!

I started by going out without it for gradually longer pariods untill now it only comes if he's really tired/unwell. he sometimes takes it to nursery and i just as for it before he goes in and hes (touch wood!) fine about giving it up.

There is one child who takes in a soft toy and the staff are fine with it, i would just have a word with them as they will either let her keep it with her or use ways and means of getting it off her (big girls do need them at nursery/lets put it up hear so its safe but rabbit can still watch you etc...)

Perhapes you could ask the childminder to take it away when shes settled and doesn't notice and not give it back untill she asks gentally increasing the time she has to wait for it by useing distraction.

Another ploy i used was "snugies in the bath darling you can have him when hes clean" "He's hiding lets go and find him . . ." or "snugies in bed darling you can have him later"

hth

fwiw my comfort toy was a snoopy stuffed toy who I still have. Dh has made me pass him on to DC/ Every so often he 'reappears' in our bedroom . As human beings big or small we form attatchments to things.

Phew! Thank you so much for your reassurance, i was getting myself in a real muddle over this one. It was really nice to hear about your dd Chankins and Andy Pandy. I think i will have a chat to the teachers about this one and i agree that i think she will need him more than ever when she starts at pre school. Its great to hear your experiences as i didnt expect to get such a quick response, so big thank you, this is my first thread by the way!

p.s I had a comfort blanket it was pink, and i called it my blue blankie! My Mum said that father xmas took it away. how cruel is that?

Love doc martin by the way, Cadelaide. Have you been to Cornwall? Port Isaac is where it is filmed, its gorgeous there. What channel is it on? Is it a repeat? People do actually speak that that ere me ansome!

Thanks for your advice Elloeise, I will ask the child minder to pop him back in her back when she has settled and i will do the same at home, put him out of sight until she asks for him.

Are you supposed to give up comfort toys? I still have mine. I'm 28, a wife and a mother of two.

I suggest just firmly telling her that rabbit can't go to her school - help her set up a school for him in her room or let her tuck him in bed and kiss him goodbye.

no they don't kernow!

I'm pretty close to Cornwall(a bit north) and i lived and worked in n. cornwall for a year or so. I bloody loved it.

I've got into Doc martin lately, it's so harmless and undemanding, but i still think some of those accents are craaap.

.....but then I don't know "every" "bit" of the county, maybe they do talk like that in your bit!

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