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Do you limit them? If they are already doing several quite expensive activities, do you call a halt when they ask to do more. On the principle that I don't let them have everything they want in material terms eg "I need a new skateboard because this one is worn out", tends to get the response, "well save up for it then". I am a bit stuck on this atm. Both my eldest DCs have decided they want to start going to a Saturday Sailing Club on the reservoir. Which is quite pricey but good value (£11 for 4 hours). DD is already going riding every other weekend (ouch!) and goes to climbing club (not so ouch). It isn't that we definitely can't afford it, it would just make things a little tighter rather than impossible. And then of course DS#2 is going to want to start doing things in the next year or so. Should I let them both go, or tell DD that she has to choose?
My children don't do any paid-for after school activities and never have. I taught them to swim myself. We taught them to sail on family sailing holidays. We are family members at a good tennis club where they play a lot of tennis. They also do a huge amount of sport at (free) school clubs and play matches every Saturday.
As a general rule of thumb I would pay for anything outdoorsy provided it could be afforded. Sailing and riding are such brilliant things to do - how could you possibly say no?
Well that's what I think brassica. I was such a shy little stay-at-home child and I love the fact that my DD will do anything and everything! DS#1 is a bit more reticent and has recently given up karate and cricket - so we went along mainly to see if this was something he would enjoy. Might have known DD would like it too
I'm happy to pay for things I can't do myself - I can swim but with no style as mum couldn't swim and I taught myself, so DD2 who's now 5 goes to a class so she doesn't learn bad habits. Might be different if I was a good swimmer. Don't think it's worth the extra for the younger classes as they are just about water confidence so can do that myself - I just take the DD's to my local pool.
Just beware to consider future costs - DD1 started ballet at 4, £5 a week. She's now 15 and we pay best part of £300 a term for ballet, pointe, moderm, tap. Gym club might have been cheaper!
at £30 a term for swimming - round here, average is around £60 for 11 weeks. Most activities are £4 - £7 a session.
I am very aware of future costs housemum. DS got to brown belt in karate and something that started out with £2 once a week and a second hand kit from a neighbour, ended up costing a small fortune in licenses and grading fees and club fees. And his new karate kit cost me nearly £50!
I am also aware of the irony that there is now way we would ever be able to afford our own horse or boat
at your sailing prices - ours are way more than that round here!
I think they need to have some awareness of costs. Having said that there will probably (soon) come a time when they don't want to do this sort of thing, and it is great to take advantage of the opportunities whilst they are around.
One possibility might be for them to have a course of some kind as one of their birthday presents?
Yes. I did think of that roisin. But they've both had their b'days already this year. And it's a long term thing not just a course. My parents gave DD some money for her to have extra riding lessons - she went every week for a while not every other week.
I thought it was good value too. A bit if they both went every week but we've sort of decided that they each go seperately every other week (DS gets a bit fed up with DD always 'muscling in' on every thing he does ).
I would probably let them do all of them as long as they can keep it all up with enthusiasm. e.g. my dds have recorder lessons at £55 a term each (for a 20 minute shared lesson) and I don't mind paying as long as they do recorder practice in between lessons. Which they don't, so we're stopping those lessons. But if they can show some commitment (putting their birthday money into it, or doing the requisite practice) then I'm much happier to pay for things.
Boats don't have to be that expensive, actually, though all the bits and pieces that come with them can add up. A small secondhand dinghy doesn't cost much.
Riding and ballet are supposed to be the two most expensive activities, there was a survey on that a while ago.
We are trying to ignore the fact we live in the middle of many horses and riding stables and plugging the watersports as DP is a windsurf instructor and also can teach sailing and kayaking so we already have all the equipment. Any nascent horsey impulses from the dds are being channelled into watersports activities. No latitude for individual preferences there.
I know scatty. When they first express an interest in going to Rainbows or dancing and you think 'that won't hurt, how expensive can it be?'....just beware!!!
Now I know why my mum discouraged me from riding and ballet LOL.
Orm I have actually been trying to interest DS (4) in a wee football club (£1/week), mainly as i get bored after school (he doesn't). I think I'll start discouraging it!
Sailing was a huge success! Came home soaked, happy and full of enthusiasm. DS#1 loved every minute of it and wants to go back every week (he can't, sadly). DD also keen but not quite so blown away by it all. Both of them got quite a few little boxes ticked on their 'list of things they need to learn' form.
My dc's do sailing ,kayaking, climbing etc in summer holidays which cost about £13 for a day at our local sailing base. On a saturday they go for about £3.45 DD has just started riding, we have paid for private riding lessons to get her to cantering, but from now on she will go to group, but not every week.
They have had swimming lessons since babies and go to scouts and guides.
I have had to say no for music lessons for a while. They both learnt piano at primary but DS is now at secondary and there have been so many new expenses £140 a term is too much.
Getting children to do summer holiday courses is a great compromise - they get to do something different like sailing or drama for a week and you get your holiday childcare sorted out.
Works out cheaper than paying for weekly lessons and then forking out again for a daily playclub/childminder to cover child care over school hols.
We have a really good holiday club at the YMCA. Climbing, canoeing/kayaking, caving, cycling. 9-5.30 for £15. None of the other holiday clubs can hold a candle to it - but it's so undersubscribed. Thank goodness
OrmIrian - have you checked to see if you've got Sea Scouts anywhere near you? My dd sails, canoes and generally has a fab time with Scouts once a week for 3 hours for £2.50!
As ours have got older, it's not so much the cost of the activities but the investment of time.
So what was a once-weekly tennis lesson when they were 4, by the age of 10 has turned into the following:
tennis lesson/matchplay practice x2/ at least one match possibly two/club night
This is every week btw
So this necessarily curtails the amount of activities that can be fitted in.
Mine do:
Piano lessons around £15 a week (two of these) Swimming lessons £6 a week (only one now) Tennis lessons/club/matchplay etc around £20 a week (two of these) Football around £6 a week only (one of these) Hockey around £8 a week (only one of these)
Total cost £90 per week. I wish you hadn't made me work that out. It's lucky that they follow relatively "inexpensive" hobbies. They never took to riding really.
BTW I totally disagree with one poster's suggestion of teaching children to swim yourself. Even if you are a first-rate swimmer. The issue is that you'll teach them weak/bad stroke patterns, which will affect how far and how well they can ultimately swim. I am a weak parent-taught swimmer. My children can both swim like fish, and for really long distances relatively effortlessly because they've been well taught.
Swimming lesson (one to one, eldest 2 alternate each week) - £23.50 per week Spanish lessons for two - £12.50 per week Football coaching for two (Wed) - £6.00 per week Football coaching for one (Saturday) - £3.00 I think Football coaching for two (Sunday) - £negligible - £20 a year Beavers for one - £20 per half term I think
In September ds3 will also do swimming, Spanish and Sunday football. In November ds2 will start Beavers.
Sea-scouts sounds good christy. But, forgive me if this is a stupid question, don't you need to be near the sea? We are, but it's a muddy dangerous tidal estuary and not many people sail in it.
OrmIrian, our Sea Scouts sail on a gravel pit. They do go on trips to the coast in the summer holidays - but only because we're quite near some good sailing sea. You say you've got a reservoir - it would certainly be worth checking it out.
My DD's have; Swimming lessons (£50 x 2 ) £100 a term Irish Dancing (£35 x2) £70 a term DD1 Brownies £20 a term DD2 Rainbows £20 a term DD1 Tennis Lessons £55 a term DD2 Ballet/Tap/Modern £70 a term DD1 Clarinet lessons £40 a term DD2 Violin lessons £65 a term
Grand Total of £440 A TERM!!!!!
or £1320 a year.
The cost of a holiday!! (This does not include uniform or equipment costs ie. dance shoes,leotards etc.)
However they love all these activities and I love the fact that we can give them the opportunity to do these things.
I did say £90 per week but for some reason nearly all of these activities tail off in the holidays, so the annual equivalent is to multiply it up by 35 weeks or so.
Swimming is £20/ month each (club level), which shows how expensive things get if you carry on with them (they go up to 6 times a week for that). One also does sailing @ £50 per term (2 terms a year).
Luckily that's it for me.
I think it's quite possible for a confident parent who is a reasonable swimmer to get a child to a fair standard (where they will be safe in the water) themselves if they choose to though some children learn better from people who aren't thir parents. Opinions probably vary as to what 'good enough' is, but you can always take a child to lessons to gain stamina and iron out the wrinkles after you've got them going yourself.
I'm not sure I agree with that. From my personal experience, my breast-stroke kick is terrible, and I've been to swimming lessons to improve it (and hence stamina and distance training) but the bad habit is ingrained.
have no clue how much it all costs, but its not the money that I grudge but the time, between two of them there are two activities after school every day, most of this is actually dd1s swimming and ds hasnt started on anything yet, something has to give
Money isn't a limiting factor 4 us, but time/effort is. DD is 6 & does 2 regular activities (plus violin in school time, but I don't count that because it's in school time). By the time she's 8 I will let her do up to 4 activities out of school, but no more, even in secondary (I imagine) -- they would tire her out too much. She'll have to choose.
Karate is 2nd most expensive we've tried (works out to ~350 quid/annual), but BMX racing is still dearer than that (limitless, really).
Dancing £150 a term (not including exams, kit etc)
Swimming £60 a term
Clarinet £50 a term (not including instrument, reeds etc)
She would dearly love to do horse riding, football, Brownies, gymnastics and karate, and I have said no more activities.
Aside from the cost, we only have one activity-less night per week, and she needs that time for free play, homework, or friends over for dinner and play.
As my elderly grandfather said, "Jack of all trades, master of none".
Costs can often start out at a reasonable level, and then spiral out of proportion as they progress. You should be aware of this when you plan activities, especially with a dd like mine, who refuses to give anything up once she has started.
quattro, it is harder to learn/iron out bad habits as an adult it's true but it's not impossible. My dh could only swim breaststroke when we married (had been taught by parents) and can do all the strokes very well now - I taught him the basics and then he joined a club and that was BEFORE I became a swim teacher. Conversely, we have club swimmers who've had 'proper' lessons all their lives and still have terrible breaststroke kicks! Some people really struggle to turn their feet out correctly and others do it naturally - maybe it depends which sort of child you have as to whether they need proper lessons or not.
DD1 is really into her dancing which cost £180/term, DD2 (only 2 1/2) has just started ballet classes (she was driving us mad at the unfairness that her sis got to do classes, she's7), so that will be about £400/term. Worst of all, ballet class is right out in the country 12 miles from home, DD2 class starts at 9.15 til 10. Then we have a wait for an hour until DD1's class 11.15 til 12.45. It's too far to go home and apart from a garden centre, there's nothing around for miles. So my Saturdays are devoted to dancing . I can't imagine when DD2 is older and wants to do other activities. When I factor in Diesel to ferry DD1 and DD2 about all week, I think I spend about £20/week, it doesn't bear thinking about. (They also do tumbletots, spanish club and street dance) All we had was brownies or swimming if we were lucky
Eeek - just added up the cost of ds1's 3 football sessions a week, 1 swimming lesson, 1 tennis session, 2 skiing sessions and twice a week at explore learning and it's probably about £50 a week. Plus equipment, competition entry fees and fuel.
HAving read some of this, I now think I'm quite lucky: ds and dd both do: Swimming lessons (about £ 20 per child for 8 weeks) Irish dancing (£ 4 each per week - and first set of shoes each we got 2nd hand for free so didn't mind too much paying £50 for ds's first heavy shoes!) Tai Kwon Do - £ 4.50 each per week - but suits / gear / licences etc on top which does mount up. I would love them both to do music lessons - but don't think we can fit it in. I've also warned them that if they want to do anything else they will need to drop one of their current activities.
totalmisfit - I'm somewhat at a loss to understand what is meant by extra-curricular activities. Extra-curricular to what? School? Home? Or does it just mean anything that is done outdoors. All outdoor activities in fact. Gardening perhaps?
Dh and I have had a think and decided that we are going to have to ask DD to choose between riding and sailing . I hate to do it but we worked out (big mistake) we were going to be spending nearly 120 a month on activities for 2 of them. Not manageable unless we cut out all other days trips, cinema, meals out - things that we all enjoy. DS#2 is likely to start wanting to join things soon as well. DD will still be doing her climbing club as well but I suspect she will be disappointed.
currently , with four children we have,.............
1st , guitar lessons £20 math tutor £26 2nd , guitar lesson £20 3rd , football £70 (season) 4th ballet/tap £38 per half term math tutor £23 brownies £20 per term street dance £40 term
weekly costs = £90
term costs= £210
math tutors are stopping soon, as will brownies, and one guitar lessons. which should save me some money soon. shame we have had piano tunned,and requests for lessons are starting.........
at £30 a term for swimming - round here, average is around £60 for 11 weeks. Most activities are £4 - £7 a session. 
if they both went every week but we've sort of decided that they each go seperately every other week (DS gets a bit fed up with DD always 'muscling in' on every thing he does 
. I can't imagine when DD2 is older and wants to do other activities. When I factor in Diesel to ferry DD1 and DD2 about all week, I think I spend about £20/week, it doesn't bear thinking about. (They also do tumbletots, spanish club and street dance) All we had was brownies or swimming if we were lucky 
