Hello all! I am just after a bit of advice - my first dd is now 10 weeks old and I am wondering whether to give her a dummy for some peace and quiet or if having stuck it out this far its better to continue without? I have just put one in her mouth out of sheer frustration and hate the way it looks (the last thing to worry about I know) and am concerned about possible speech impediments?? But she keeps ramming her fists in her mouth anyway so think she would turn out to be a thumb sucker if she doesnt get used to a dummy.
What do you think with the benefit of hindsight?!
Any advice very gratefully received - she's not a very difficult baby but am having to walk her around to get her to sleep a lot of the time at present - think maybe a pacifier might work instead of this?
Thanks very much x

Hi, I gave dd1 a dummy from around 8 weeks and it made nap times during the day easy as anything as I could put her down in her cot when she was tired, give her a dummy and she would go off to sleep no problem. However, it meant of course that she became dependent on it and needed it to go to sleep so everytime she woke in the night I would have to get up and find her dummy in the cot and put it back in her mouth because she was unable to do so herself. Therefore was getting up around ten times a night . With dd2, now 5mths, we decided to try without and during the day she generally goes off to sleep happily in the sling, and only wakes at night for a bottle.

My DD (now 3) had a dummy from around 4 months and it really helped her to settle down for naps and sleep. She was a very easy baby but not a great sleeper and the dummy definitely helped. It didn't affect her speech at all - she is the most articulate of all her peers. It was only ever allowed for sleeping though and she is never allowed it downstairs or when we're out.

I agree with Callisto,My DS [now 12) and DD1 (now nearly 4] had dummy,both very articulate. Had better naps and sleeps,but only had it then,no other time.Lots of advice from Baby Whisperer and Gina Ford etc. about taking it away when it falls out and not replacing it, but that seemed cruel to me.Try to take away by 2 years at latest as they adjust very quickly. DD2 wouldn't take a Dummy,is a Thumbsucker,if they are going to be a Thumbsucker they'll spit dummy out constantly,and if they don't need either then they won't take either.I'm convinced they seem to know what they want from an early age.You can give them a Dummy or a Blanket etc.but at the end of the day its up to them,don't feel guilty either way.Whatever gets you through those early months goes in my book!

I used a dummy from about 8 weeks - and agree that they do look ugly. But it was a HUGE success. Much happier baby. Have only ever used it when sleeping. Odd as when DS at nursery they don't bother and he seems perfectly happy with that! But I won't risk changing what works at home! I didn't have a problem with it falling out - if it did he either seemed to find it or keep sleeping. Try not to worry about what they look like. More people than ever seem to be using them.

i used them with my ds(now 3months) from about 7 weeks. i know i shouldnt and i was bresfeeding.... but i dont regret it. at least not jet he was crying a lot and wouldnt sleep at all... now he is perfect.. when he doesnt want to fall a sleep we just give him a dummy and he sleeps straight away. im sure it is better for him as well, as all night crying cant be better for somebody so young. You can see he is a lot happier now.

I don't think you should give your daughter a dummy to stop her sucking her thumb - you'll probably find she ends up sucking on the dummy to sleep and sucking on her thumb when she's awake, rather than doing one or the other - or rejecting the dummy so that she can suck her thumb, anyway.

As for speech impediments, I don't think this is normally an issue unless you let your child have a dummy almost all the time or until they are well past the normal age for having dummies (I do know one child who is now almost 3 and still has a dummy in his mouth a lot of the time, and no-one can understand what he's trying to say - largely because he tries to talk through the b*dy dummy rather than take it out of his mouth, although he sounds rather odd when it's not in his mouth, too, it has to be said).

And as for whether you try a dummy for helping your baby sleep, I think there's no right or wrong. I didn't like them, the only occasions I ever tried them on my children they gagged and spat them out, and I breastfed, so found the idea that I might have to sterilise them rather offputting, since I wasn't sterilising anything else! Oh, and I didn't like the idea of having yet another thing that they would eventually have to be stopped from using, having got them used to using them as a comforter. But if you're getting a bit fed up with walking around with your child to help her sleep, then why not try a dummy for a bit, and if it doesn't make much difference then stop using it, and if it does, then you've done the right thing for you.

i used a dummy when ds was little to help him sleep at nap times. it was a godsend! I was resistant to the idea, but got desperate! I was luck in that he gave it up at about 16 weeks but even if your lo uses it for a long period of time, well, they all have little habits to help soothe, don't they? One of my pals hated ds's dummy, but she bfed her lo to sleep round the clock - you pick the habit that suits you both best.

dd1 didn't have a dummy, with dd2 my dh decided at 15wks enough was enough and gave her one - has done her no harm at all, is a complete chatter box and only wants it when she's tired

with dc3 will just see how it goes again before making any decisions

dd1 didn't have a dummy, with dd2 my dh decided at 15wks enough was enough and gave her one - has done her no harm at all, is a complete chatter box and only wants it when she's tired

with dc3 will just see how it goes again before making any decisions

I used a dummy with DD from about 6 weeks for naps and sleep. When she got to about 4 months her self-settling improved and she learnt to put the dummy in and take it out herself so it wasn't as helpful but she didn't need it so much either.

Since then has only used it for a couple of days in the middle of teething.

dd1 had a dumy from a couple of weeks old, she decided at about 4 mths old that she didnt want it anymore and that was that. with dd2 we tried her with a dummy but she prefered her thumb, she still sucks it at 2 yrs but it doesnt seem to be doing any harm and its only when shes tired. dd3 is 7 weeks old and loves her dummy, she doesnt always use it to go to sleep but i cant see her giving it up as quickly as dd1 did.

Both our dss have had dummies. The upside is they have always found them very comforting and its definitely helped them sleep well and us get them into good sleep routines.

DS1 was a nightmare as he could never find his dummy in a cot so for a few months we had to get up a few times a night to give it back. DS2 is 6 months now and has been able to find his own dummy and put it in himself from about 4 months

If used sensibly dummies can be a great help and comfort and I think are now recommended as a way of reducing cot deaths (reminds them to breathe). DS1 was allowed his pretty much as needed when small then as he got older we limited it to nap/bed times. We've kept a close eye on his teeth (seen a dentist who was happy with them) and his speech development (no problems there either). DS2 seems to need his much less already.

My advice would be try it, if it works, great and don't worry about how it looks. More important to have a happy baby I reckon

It's actually a myth that dummies reduce cot death even though it's being touted by FSIDS with the backing of MAM. If you read between the lines with the FSIDS report it actually says that they increase the risk of SIDS unless the dummy stays in all night long. A dummy sucking baby who doesn't have it's dummy in at any point when they're asleep is at higher risk of SIDS.

I don't like dummies and never gave one. Tink is not a thumb sucker either, though it has gone in when she's been over tired or stressed. After spending as much time as we did in the NNU I was put off them. Most babies there didn't use them because the hospital are very good with breastfeeding, however the babies that were on dummies were disruptive to the rest of the babies and the staff were regularly putting babies down NG mid-feed to replace a dummy that had fallen out before they woke the whole bay.

Could it be a growth spurt? Are you demand feeding?

I would recommend you do if yor baby sleeps better with it. My dd has had a dummy since very young, she is now 2 and half and has it to go to sleep but it's more of a comfort than a need.

I think the christmas fairy may take it away this year or just let her naturally drop it which she will due to peer pressure etc.

Just make sure you set the boundries in your mind of when your child can have it and then you won't fall into the trap of them having it all the time. I did see one child at a nursery who had it in all the time and her teeth had started to develop wrongly because it was constantly in the mouth

As already said my daughter is incredibly clear in her speech, clearer at nursery than some of the children who don't have one. That's just down to you to develop that clearly which I am sure you will.

The only down side at this point is that it will fall out and you will have to keep putting it back in....however they can soon do it themselves and you can buy clips to clip them onto thier clothes.

My DS2 is a grumpy difficult baby, almost 1 and not moving, very frustrated, often ill catching things from DS1 and all I can say is that his dummy is a godsend!! He doesn't have it all the time during the day, does have it for day naps and has never had it at night, but if it helps you and calms your LO go for it.

DS1 had one at a similar age spoke very early and had no problems caused by it at all. When I stopped it he went cold turkey for

I would be hesitant to suggest using it at night as that can mean you are up whenever it falls out but otherwise I would go for it.

Dummies are fab, we use an orthodontic one, would def use again if had another child

I used a dummy with both my DDs from about 10 days old (and I exclusively bf with no problems - i'd neer heard you weren't meant to use dummies when bf), and they were an absolute godsend for settling them at nap times and bedtime (and also to calm unexplained bouts of howling at other random times). I couldn't have done without it as they were both incredibly sucky babies.

However both my DDs started to reject the dummy from about 12 weeks in favour of their thumbs and both times by the time they reached about 4 /5 months dummies were gone completely. You describe your little one as sucking at her fist, which is just what my DDs used to do before they found their thumbs. If a baby is going to be a tumb sucker they usually start to find their thumbs from about 3 months. If you don't mind thumb sucking then there may be little point introducing a dummy now as if she's going to find her thumb it will probably be in the next few weeks.

In my experience using a dummy had no effect on stopping thumb sucking. I don't see why it would do any harm to use one for a bit if you find the dummy helps save your sanity and keeps your DD happy, if she sarts sucking her thumb you can just take the dummy away again when it's no longer needed.

Love dummies

A Godsend for some (parents AND babies)

Both mine had/have them, hasn't affected speech, you are in control of when it's used (ie sleep only)

DD1 had a dummy from about 8 weeks. HV said that her speech was about as good as it gets. She was bribed gave it up at 3.4. No problem.

DD2 had a dummy from 13 months (had refused it before) but was a terrible sleeper and I definitely thought it helped. She also had very good speech and also gave hers up at 3.4.

Both rarely had dummies during the day and they were mainly used to settle them to sleep or if they were tired or ill.

Advantage of a dummy is you can throw it away- can't do that with a thumb or finger.

It's not so much that it 'impedes' their speech, but you must be careful when their teeth start to come through as it will give them what is called an 'open bite', if they continue to use it. They will need orthodontic treatment in order to correct it when they are older. As an ex-dental nurse, I can tell just by looking at a child's mouth/teeth whether they have or have had dummies. My personal opinion is that they create more hard work in the long run in the form of 'weaning' them off dummies (possible nightmare) and probably needing work orthodontically as they get older.

Is this just with the cherry teat dummies rather than the orthodontic dummies ellideb? I have an open bite from cherry teats I had as a baby/child though I presumed orthodontic ones were fine?

never used one but wish I had in retrospect: why not try anything that soothes baby?

DD1 I didn't use one past 6wks but she is now an avid thumb sucker, much more difficult to remove the thumb than a dummy She is now 2.4 and still does it when she is tired or upset.
DD2 is nearly 7wks and I have just given her one tonight because she was falling asleep on my breast still sucking but not feeding iyswim. I figured if she was just sucking she could suck that, or if she was still hungry would spit it out and let me know! It worked well. I just substituted me for it when she fell asleep, wouldn't settle with it but woke up enough for another feed and went out like a light, without her getting worked up.

PS, regarding speech. Just only use it when they need to sleep. Don't just 'plug' them whenever they cry iyswim. My dd1 who thumb sucks which is no different than a dummy is advanced in speech, 30 words by 16mths and 200 by 18mths. She is now 2.4 and has been speaking in 7 word sentences since 2yrs.
Don't worry

I gave DD a dummy when she was 5weeks old - she hasn't used it since she was 13 weeks old, now she has winnie (blanket with a winnie the pooh teddy attached) we always swore we'd never give a dummy but she used to get herself into such a state and it calmed her down.
My advice though is don't use it EVERY night or they will become dependent on it and if they spit it out don't shove it back in (it means they're done with it)

HTH

DS1 had a dummy - until last week, yay, well done him! It definitely helped. DS2 has a muslin which he chose at about 10 weeks.

I really love them having a comforter that gives a strong "sleep" signal.

Thanks so much everybody - haven't had a chance to login for a while and overwhelmed with all the help and advice!
Will take all points on board - am exclusively breastfeeding and hadnt heard its not good to use dummies in this instance! Its very strange - sometimes I know she's ready for a nap and yet if i put her in her basket she screams - and yet right now she's fast asleep on her changing mat for the second day in a row! Was going to wake her but figured she knows when she needs to sleep? I'm trying not to let her sleep over 5 hours in the day as she's still waking at 10 - 2 - 4 and 7 am for feeds at 10 weeks, and all i seem to hear is 'my baby slept through from six weeks'. Very difficult not to think its your fault...

Hi, julesmb,

Don't listen to the mums who tell you their babies slept through at 6 weeks - they're just lucky, not the norm!!!

"My advice though is don't use it EVERY night or they will become dependent on it and if they spit it out don't shove it back in"

That's not actually a good idea. As I said before the advice FSIDS is giving is that dummies prevent SIDS, but when you read it, it actually says that dummy suckers are at higher risk of SIDS when they don't have their dummy in all night.

jules, she was in constant contact with you for nine months, it's understandable she won't like being seperated from you. She's also at an age where she doesn't know you still exist and are only in the next room when you leave her, so she doesn't know you are coming back.

Don't restrict her naptimes at this stage, those night feeds are really important to you both and you can harm your supply by not feeding in the night. Keep her in bed with you and you won't have to wake when you feed her.

I never understand people who complain about babies waking at night because Tink never really did, well I think so. But she was in with me and I never had to wake up. TBH most of the sleepless nights we had were at the begining and our own making because we were so stressed about her wanting to sleep on her front and would try to take it in turns to stay awake - paediatrition laughed at us, he said let her sleep how she wants.

"it actually says that dummy suckers are at higher risk of SIDS when they don't have their dummy in all night"

Thats quite a statement! Previously you say that this is what you understood by "reading between the lines". Perhaps you'd like to post the actual published text that supports you making such a controversial statement...

DD had a dummy from 4 weeks, she was wanting to feed every hour and I was exhaused, she was exclusivly bf and weighs in above 75th percentile, so no probs there, at 5 months she decided she didn't want it any more, I'm gutted tbh, it was great at helping her sleep, now having probs getting her to sleep!

Will do when I get home, this isn't a good computer I'm on for researching and I have links at home. I did a google search and came up with a lot of links about it. I seem to remember UNICEF UK has something to say on the matter too.

IIRC that bit of the study (that the dummy needs to be in to protect the baby) isn't "between the lines" which is why I didn't say it was.

Thanks Tinks, that would be great

I think a thumbsucker is a thumbsucker whatever you do! My DS (6) was very sucky, so we gave him a dummy very early on (and I swore my children would never have dummies!!) - he loved it, but when he discovered his thumb at 3-4 months (v sweet - he did a lot of aimless stabbing with his thumb until he finally worked out how to get it into his mouth), he lost all interest in the dummy. He also had (and still has) a cuddle-blanket to hold while he sucked his thumb - again, this came entirely from him (it would never have occurred to me to try to give him a cuddle-blanket). He still sucks his thumb if he's really, really tired (often at bedtime story time), and when he goes to sleep, but doesn't suck otherwise.

After our experience with DS, we tried to introduce DD (now 4) to a dummy, her thumb, and a cuddle blanket - and she had no interest whatsoever in any of them!!!!

Having seen others' experiences with dummies, it's probably best to get rid of them before the child becomes aware of what you're doing (ditto bottles, which we stopped by a year), or you'll solve a short-term problem only by setting up a longer-term one. But it sounds possible that your DD will decide for you if she's trying to discover her thumb already!!

Yep - it was quite hilarious actually - she discovered her fists last week and spent the whole day getting really annoyed that she couldn't fit them into her mouth...
I'm really lucky generally, she is a very smily baby for long periods and I figure she'll sleep when she's tired! Not going to bust a gut trying to get her into a routine when she's so tiny, just trying to ease us into a pattern gently.
Interested in the white noise teddies though - about to google that now...

UNICEF UK:

"Firstly, we must look at other research (2) into dummies and SIDS. This tends to show that babies who used a dummy during their last sleep were less likely to die, but that routine dummy use is not protective. This may indicate that infants are at greater risk of SIDS if they routinely use a dummy but have not been given their dummy on a particular night.

"Secondly, the potential risks of dummy use need to considered. These include:

* interference with good establishment of breastfeeding in the early weeks
* increased risk of otitis media infection
* increased dental malocclusion
* risk of accidents such as obstruction of the airway

"Thirdly, we need to ensure that the advice being proposed is realistic. If dummy use is really protective against SIDS but only if used every night, parents must be informed of this. The possibility that missing a night will increase risk among routine dummy users creates confusion and concern. We must be secure that parents will never forget to give the dummy once they have started to use it.

"Finally, since we do not know the mechanism by which dummy use may protect babies, other sources of sucking comfort during the night also need to be investigated. It is possible that thumb sucking is protective, and a baby who routinely sucks his thumb is not dependant on his parents to remember to give it to him. Some studies have also suggested that breastfeeding may be protective against SIDS. While this also needs further investigation, the access a bed sharing baby has to his mother's breast during the night may offer another mechanism for protection."

From BabyCentre:

"Dummies and sudden infant death (SIDS)

"There is growing evidence that using a dummy may play a part in protecting babies against cot death. Initially, a large case control study of cot death, funded by the UK Department of Health, reported in 1999 that dummy use was a factor in sudden infant death. The risk was for babies who usually had a dummy but who did not have a dummy for their last sleep. However, this risk factor was no longer significant once other larger risk factors were taken into account.

"More recently, a report published in the British Medical Journal in December 2005 suggested that dummy use actually protects against SIDS. The study, carried out in California, looked at the use of dummies in 185 babies who were victims of SIDS and a control group of 312 other babies. The use of a dummy was associated with a reduction of the risk of SIDS, especially when there were other known risk factors such as sleeping on the tummy or side, sleeping on soft bedding or sleeping with a mother who smoked. The study also showed that thumb sucking appeared to have a protective influence.

"The results of this study do not mean that all babies should routinely be given dummies. The authors of this study say that their findings add support for a protective effect of dummies but there is no "proof" yet for a cause and effect relationship. The authors state that, "These preliminary findings need confirmation." "

From the BMJ:

"Inaccurate reporting or exaggeration of research findings could cause a lot of confusion for practitioners and consequently for parents under their care. The conclusion made from this study is too strong, the authors have admitted limitations of this study and also acknowledged the fact that this simple association may not indicate a causal effect. Yet, in their (abstract) conclusion, they have stated that dummies reduce the risk of SIDS. The conclusion should be modified to reflect this lack of certainty and to reflect observed association rather than suggesting a cause and effect relationship.

"Competing interests: None declared"

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers

the SIDS Prevention website

I'm too tired to get anymore links.

But why would SIDS be promoting dummy use if this evidence say otherwise........Seems a bit fishy to me

Lots of thoughts here, plus response from FSIDS

Because they're an independent company and sponsored by MAM.

"This may indicate that infants are at greater risk of SIDS if they routinely use a dummy but have not been given their dummy on a particular night."

I'm guessing that this is the statement that peeps are latching on to to say that dummy use (or rather forgetting to give a dummy on a particular night) may increase the risk of sids. Actually, this statement is not based on scientific evidence but is in fact raising a research question that needs to be addressed.

What is clear is that there is SOME evidence of a protective effect of dummy use however, the evidence is suggestive but weak largely due to the small sample size.

I remain to be convinced either way quite frankly.

But make sure you're not giving her a dummy when she wants more milk. She's very little, you know!

I never used a dummy, and so never had to wean a baby off a dummy. Also managed to breastfeed for as long as I wanted to; a dummy can impede that (but doesn't always). Depends on your priorities. My top priority was to get breastmilk down them so I didn't risk a dummy. Don't think it would have worked anyway as I did try once with dd1.

I'm in a dummy mess. DS1 didn't have a dummy. DS2 broke collar bone during delivery and I was told a dummy would soothe and comfort him until it mended. 4 months on he loves his dummy but it is driving me mad constantly running in to his room to put it back in when it falls out. He has it for nap times but not at bedtime (as he falls asleep easily without it at bedtime) but yells and yells at nap time until he has it or if it falls out. I know he will eventually reach the age when he can put it in himself but I don't want him to get to that stage and would like to be rid of it asap. Is cold turkey the best option or is that mean?

Thanks