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Mumsnet Discussions: Behaviour / development : 2 year old laughing when being told off...anyone else face this? (13 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By peekaboomum on Sat 10-May-08 20:09:10
My 2 year old has been pretty well behaved of late and have had no big tantrums but he has started hitting me when he doesn't get what he wants. I hold his hands and firmly tell him that 'hitting mummy is not allowed, that it hurts and makes mummy sad' but he just laughs and does it again so I warn him that if he does it again, he will go on the naughty step. He then just laughs and says yes and often will hit again so I then put him on the naughty step where he sings to himself for a couple of minutes, jumps up when he sees me and says sorry. Only to be repeated again later in the day....

It is not the hitting that is bothering me - I know it is pretty normal behaviour for a toddler but I haven't come across this reaction in any books - they talk about calming down and time outs but he is calm...he thinks the whole thing is funny so am at a lost how to teach him that it hurts and is wrong and that is isn't right to react by laughing.

Sorry to ramble but anyone else in the same boat with any advice?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By colditz on Sat 10-May-08 20:10:49
Cry when he hits you./
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littlelapin on Sat 10-May-08 20:10:51
No advice but I get the same thing - either laughter, or kisses, or occasionally (if I have REALLY shouted), tears. NEVER calmness.

Naughty step has no meaning for us, but he is only just 2, possibly too young? He never stays put in one place, I would have to staple him to it!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By DontGetIt on Sat 10-May-08 20:13:00
My DS1 (similar age) does this...its really really annoying but I have come to the conclusion its more to do with him not understanding whats going on. Normally smiling gets a positive response after all...I think hes just not quite got the plot! So Im trying not to take it the wrong way....easier said than done!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By BroccoliSpears on Sat 10-May-08 20:13:16
Mine is the same. I'm sure it's very normal behaviour. I find that if I really need to get a message accross to my dd, the only thing that works is to withdraw all attention; no crossness, no explanations, no nuffin, I just turn my back and go elsewhere. She hates it and it seems to have an effect. I do it when I know she understands the situation (ie why I'm unhappy or what she is not supposed to do) and is just being a wretch.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Wickedwaterwitch on Sat 10-May-08 20:14:38
2 yos imo need immediate, swift action which doesn't get them attention. So we used to do "OUTside" with hitting which meant being outside in the hall for 1 minute or 30 seconds or something. Very calm, very straight "no hitting" and then carry on as normal and distract, distract. I'd ignore the laughing.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By wabbit on Sat 10-May-08 20:20:43
Think Colditz might have your answer - he needs to know he's hurt you, really play it up and mean it, and like BoccoliSpears says, ignore him so he can't start his laughing game.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By rowe on Mon 12-May-08 10:38:45
my dd2 is the same and nothing works at all bar putting her to bed ! ds2 starting to copy there is 12mths diffrence between them ! something tells me its going to be a long twelve months hmm
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By WowOoo on Mon 12-May-08 10:50:09
Mine laughs too sometimes when I get cross at him. Think he tries to cheer me up and then says 'are you happy?' Bless!
When I did massive overacting and crying and pretending to be sad he seemed to get the DO NOT HIT message. Good, as I wasn't looking forward to doing that in public!
The terrible 2's have just started and,yes it's going to be fun, fun fun....
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Kewcumber on Mon 12-May-08 10:53:22
i think this is very common isn;t it My 2 yr old does it and it winds me up a treat. However I think its because they don;t have the emotional repertoire yet to respond appropriately not because they really think its funny.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By CatIsSleepy on Mon 12-May-08 11:06:18
my dd does this too- whacks me or dh and then goes "hee-hee" , like a really fake laugh not a real one
telling her off seems to have no impact.
she will say sorry (if prompted) but then sometimes does exactly the same again a minute later

am at a loss as to how to tackle it tbh

sorry not very helpful!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By tryingtoleave on Mon 12-May-08 11:38:37
My ds has been doing this for ages and he's not even 2 yet! He becomes so happy if he finds something to do that annoys me. I've also found that the only way to stop him giggling is to walk away from him.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By herbgarden on Mon 12-May-08 13:44:55
My ds does this too (he's nearly 2) - he'll randomly hit a child in the park for no apparent reason ( to me anyway) and I say quickly "no hitting" in a very firm mummy is very cross voice wink and then make him go up to the child (or me if it's me ) and make him say sorry. He knows because he almost goes "shy" at this point or will say "no" when I ask him to go up and say sorry. I then usually carry on as usual. I don't labour the point. We can go through this process umpteen times a day but I always follow it through however laborious. Does it work? Who knows but I too think this is going to be a long 12 - 24 months !


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