Mumsnet members get a 10% discount from Boden (including free returns and free delivery), The White Company, sweaty Betty, Luxury Family Hotels, JoJo Maman Bebe, Siblu, Blooming Marvellous, GLTC, Bump to 3 (the official online shop for Grobags) and more. Click here for more info Join mumsnet here.
I'm caring for a 15 month old little boy whose mum and her brother both have learning difficulties. Her brother is autistic.
The lo is being placed for adoption soon but his sw wants him to see a consultant as she thinks he is very delayed.
I'm not sure he is or if he's just a lazy boy, for example he didn't crawl just rolled until he was 11 months, he has recently started pulling himself upright and crab stepping along the furniture.
He has lots of sounds but no real words, he says yow for meow and d d d for dummy.
He can hold a cup but won't, same with a bottle and he will finger feed but not use a spoon.
Does anyone have a similar 15 month old or is he actually "slow"
My dd2 is 15 months we have lots of noise with about 6 words (mummy,dada, jus (juice), woof woof, ta) but I know on my postnatel thread there are others who have 'shouty' noises but no words (I thibk dd2 learns alot from dd1) DD2 was an ealry walker but again there is one on postnatel thread just started cruising. Cups mmmm could be a boy/stubborn thing, my dd2 does drink out of cup herself and will use spoon but prefers to use her fingers (iirc dd1 didnt grasp using cutlery until she was 19/20 months)
Just read this again and feel defensive about poor boy? Why is social worker saying he is very delayed? He is still well within normal limits for walking and talking.
My 17m, can walk, has no words but talks (babbles) constantly. He drinks from a sippy cup but downright refuses to spoonfeed himself (but will feed self with finger food)
You LO sounds the slower side of normal perhaps, - but I personally wouldn't be concerned!!
Verbal development varies so much - my dd1 was very similar to this little chap as far as I can recall. She was still only speaking odd words and very brief sentences up to the age of three - it was just how she was. She is now incredibly articulate and it really is hard to believe that she is the same child Equally I know another child who didn't crawl till well past a year. I think it's a bit early to be labelling him 'very delayed'
Thanks everyone. I feel so much better about him now.
His sw is an idiot frankly but I do understand she needs to cover all the bases. She has said to me that she doesn't want the adopters to come back at her because they find he has problems later, not the most diplomatic person I know
He is being placed for adoption because his birth family have multiple problems not simply leaning difficulties. There is a real risk of abuse and neglect so he was removed at 2 days old from hospital and placed with us.
I don't think that lack of speech at 15 months is a cause for concern - as long as the child is communicating somehow eg pointing, gesturing and shifting eye contact appropiately etc. My 16 month old will only walk if I am holding his hand but I don't think he is delayed. Is it normal to screen to be adopted children like this?
DS1 (autistic) could hold a cup but never learned to drink from it because he couldn't imitate. So me drinking from cups was of no relevance to the thing he held in his hand.
I had to hold hold hands over the cup and hand over hand pour the water into his mouth for a week before he 'got it'. He was 18 months. He appeared very 'with it' apart from that sort of subtle sign.
The only other odd thing really was that he didn't point. Of if he wanted to point (say at a book) he would use my hand to do it.
The doctor I spoke to at his last "looked after" medical observed that he made eye contact readily and was also curious about toys in the room so she had no concerns.
While he will readily accept toys food etc that we hand him he just looks at the cup blankly.
Saying that he will drink if the cup is held to his mouth but he also attempts to bite the rim of the cup. The cup is a beaker kind as he flatly refuses a sippy cup.
Screening pre-adoptive is not a term used but they do undergo a thorough medical prior to being placed.
Eye contact is irrelevant really. Bit of a red herring. My severely autistic son will make eye contact readily. I was told (by a dietician ) when he was 2 that he couldn't be autistic as he tidied up the toys when I told him to. Age 9 he can't talk at all (at 22 months he was diagnosed with 'mild language delay' and I was told that if there was anything wrong with him at all it would be very mild- by an autism specialist).
Google the CHAT test (meant to be taken at 18 months so its a bit early but a good screen). For ds1 the lack of pointing flagged was key. Although he certainly indicated vocally things he was interested in (like tiny specks of planes far away in the distance).
I think the SW is right tbh (and I don't say THAT very often). The cup thing was just like ds1. See if he can imitate you. Show him how to do something simple and see if he then tries to copy you.
It's just that if he's going up for adoption and he turns out to be on the autistic spectrum (and he is high risk with his family history) it's a lot better all round if his future adoptive family know what they're taking on.
Hi yurt, many thanks. I've read the stuff you suggested and ordered the book from Amazon.
I'm back to being more concerned now because some of the signs are him to a T.
He does the hand flapping thing and he rocks to any prolonged noise eg the hoover, food mixer etc. He doesn't point at things and I'm going to try and get him to follow my point when he gets up this morning.
He has an appointment with a consultant on May 8th so I want as much info as possible by then. What questions to ask etc.
I know nothing at all about autism, really, but re cups - dd1 knew how to use a cup but didn't want to, or a spoon, for ages past that age. She just liked me feeding her
She's now 4.5, bright, creative, very articulate and extremely relational - but would still like me to feed her given half a chance!
Her sister, OTOH, uses a fork and spoon with gusto at 17 months, if messily.
I took lo to see the consultant today and he now wants to test his blood for abnormalities.
He was surprised that the baby had a line across both palms as it is common on one hand but rare on both.
He said this is a feature of downs syndrome but that lo didn't present as a downs child.
He was also interested in the fact that his eyes slightly slope downwards and that he has an extremely high pitched scream when he is annoyed or tired.
I felt today would give us some answers but instead we just have more questions
Stories like this make me really his little boy is well within normal limits for his age, but a social is claiming he is delayed to prove the need for him to be torn from his mother, who is probably more than capable of providing him with the love he needs.
Flower -just seen this. If it's any help my dd is almost 15 months. She sat unaided at about nine months, but only started to crawl about 10 days ago. She hadn't a clue how to feed herself until she was nearly one. Now she can managed finger food, but is still clumsy, and to be frank there are foods she refuses to feed herself - cake being one of them, though she loves it!(yes, lazy in that case!). She can't use a spoon although will try and slot one into my mouth, but not her own. She is hopeless at useing a sippy cup - holds it with one hand if we are lucky, and has only being doing that in recent weeks. She doesn't pull up at all ("LEgs Mummy? What are legs?"!) and I have no doubt she won't walk until she is 2ish -I didn't and I think it's worth looking at parental history about physical developmentas it might give you some clues. She has no words yet, though uses some sounds consistently, for example 'da' when pointing at something in a book. She will try to mimic the sound of some words that appeal to her - for some bizarre reason 'foul' is one of them (!) and it comes out some like 'oooow'. Written in black and white you could be forgiven for thinking she is delayed, but if you met her you would change your view. She is alert and on the ball, but is just doing things at her pace. INterestingly other physical attributes are also behind average - she has 3 and a half teeth, for example! It's too easy to think that milestones are absolute fixed values. They aren't. They are just a measure of average. I hope the sw and others manage to look at the bigger picture.
thanks Arriety, we do too. He's such a sweetheart and we love him to bits.
I think his sw talks out of her behind most of the time to be honest but the doctor did seem very concerned about his development today particularly his screaming which is very high pitched.
The mums being abused, so she deserves to lose her baby. why couldnt SS have taken mum and baby away from the abusive family. They would be kept together which is what is BEST for the child and theey could give her the help she needs to look after her baby.
Some children need to be taken away from their families - SWs aren't always wrong you know. You really don't know anything about this case so I don't think there's much point second guessing particularly as the OP, who knows the situation, is not asking about that.
It's very hard to say about delay but he sounds very similar to my DD. She is now 18 months and still not talking but I don't really have any concerns. She didn't crawl either - just walked at 14 months.
She doesn't mind using a spoon but can't really - she hasn't worked out how to scoop up food although she will happily spoon feed if I load the spoon for her.
The SW may well be wrong on the delay point - though I don't know anything about the other symptoms you mention.
Equally I know another child who didn't crawl till well past a year. I think it's a bit early to be labelling him 'very delayed' 
