Can you control it?
Is there anything you can do to stop yourself?

I don't fall in love easily. I fall in lust easily, well in the past I have. I do believe you can control it. Nobody falls in love the minute they meet, in lust maybe, not in love. If you choose to be around that person often enough for your feelings to deepen into what you would call love, then you obviously want it. If you don't want to fall in love with them, or risk falling in love with them, then you simply wouldn't repeatedly put yourself in the position to develop feelings of love for them.

Maybe thats just me and my black and white view of everything but it's worked for me in the past.

I don't fall in love easily - not these days. You can actually control it, yes. Agree with shewillbe. And unless he's lovely, I choose not to love someone who's not worth it (even if they are gorgeous!)

Yes, that makes sense. But how can you tell who's worth it?

Ah, you can never be quite sure. But I used to be able to fall in love after 2 dates lol. Now I tend to stand back a bit and actually watch the things they do, the way they talk to people, and really listen to what they say. After a while, I suppose you just have to go for it, but I do try to be much more objective these days.

I used to be like a starving woman with a fishing net. Didn't matter what I'd caught, it was mine and I was keeping it. Now I know that there are some you should throw back. Not quite that desperate anymore

lol at "starving woman with fishing net"

love with dp was almost instantaneous.
well from the first time we really spoke, rather than first time laid eyes on.

my first ever - unrequited, tho he was fond of me and a friend, and did fancy me coz he was later my first snog - love was instant from first sight. thud, just like that. after about 6 years i managed to move on from that

Wait befor committing yourself...and wait...and wait some more. Make sure you have seen them in all situations, with family, their friends, your friends, children etc so you can know them as fully as possible. In my opinion you can't test the worth of a person until you have been through hard times with them and found out how they cope/support you. It's easy to be in love when it's all lovely and happy, it's when the s**t hits the fan that you really find out what a person is worth.

I'll give you an example - DH's BF just 'fell madly in love', they moved in after 3 weeks and within a month she was pregnant. She has since threatened him with having an abortion, and decided they are moving to France because 'she needs to'. He doesn't get to see his friends anymore, only hers, and her dad came to live with them (in a studio flat!!!!!) for the last 2 months.

I think he should have spent a liiittle more time getting to know her before he hitched his wagon to hers.....that's why I'm cautious in love!

It does pay off tho, I now have a lovely man who waited for me as long as I needed.

That's a good point kat, omg, nightmare situation you describe!

Yeah...I feel a bit sorry for him but he did ask my advice and ignore it before this all happened....

There are no so blind as those who will not see, eh, Kat?

Everybody was telling me xh1 was a wrong'un. would I listen? Oh, what I would give to be able to teach that lesson to young girls these days. But you can't tell somebody something if they don't WANT to believe it. Very sad.