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Mumsnet Discussions: Relationships : Stictly out of bounds? (9 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Kinetik on Fri 16-May-08 21:59:34
I don't know why I'm bothering with this one but here goes...

I have liked this man for quite a while but never knew if he was married or involved with anyone so I didn't bother doing anything about it just in case. He always had his kids with him so I assumed he must have someone.

Anyway I have just found out he is technically single but in the middle of a divorce.

Should I leave well enough alone?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By dizzydixies on Fri 16-May-08 22:01:16
I may be on shakey ground here but surely divorce implies that they have already tried and failed to save the marriage?

its not as if they are having a trial seperation
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littlelapin on Fri 16-May-08 22:02:44
Surely that's "technically married"?

How did you find out? Make sure it's true.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By sophiewd on Fri 16-May-08 22:03:59
I got together with my DH when he was separated but there were no children involved and took him awhile to get round to getting a divorce, just be careful as he may be wary about getting into another relationship.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Kinetik on Fri 16-May-08 22:05:28
he told me himself. It sounds like quite a messy/unfriendly one too.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By dizzydixies on Fri 16-May-08 22:08:33
does he know you like him?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By pixiepip on Fri 16-May-08 22:08:46
no-one can make that decision for you- you have to decide!

Just take care not to get hurt- ask yourself how long he has been separated, if he has had other relationships during that time- and if he actually likes you as much as you like him!

How far along the divorce route is he? Make sure it is all happening and he is not just using the term to describe a separation.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Pheebe on Fri 16-May-08 22:30:31
Be very sure that you aren't the rebound relationship or the emotional crutch relationship before you commit to anything, especially if its messy. TBH I would steer well clear of any relationship with him beyond being a friend to him at this stage.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Anniegetyourgun on Sat 17-May-08 09:41:46
Don't forget there's a reason his last relationship didn't work out. Maybe he married the bitch cow from hell, but "it takes two to tango" and you'll only be hearing his side of the story. I know what XH says to people about me and it's not a "me" I recognise at all! So... a little caution is called for. Keep your sceptical spectacles on, just in case.


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