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: Help me get some perspective wise mners, my Mum left her home on Sunday and hasn't been in touch since
(21 messages)
She does this every so often, she has a blazing row with my Dad and goes off somewhere, often here (I live about 150 miles away from her), or her sisters, she normally takes her mobile with her so I can contact, but she has left it this time so has no way of contacting anyone. Normally, i.e. when she is at home and in OK mood, we speak daily, and she is great with my two v small dc. This time DF was due to go on a cycling trip for a week on Monday am, and DM left the house on Sunday am and hsn't been heard from since. I am v pissed off with her for disappearing like this, and beginning to get worried about her too. Am I out of line to be angry with her. Don't get me wrong, I'm worried too, but atm I'm more angry than worried.
I too would be angry and worried, but I am a born worrier anyway!
It sounds like this is something she 'does' every now and again. Can't be a coincidence that your Df was off himself on the monday. Sounds like se got the pre-emptive strike!
Whens your dad due back? How long does she normally go for?
I am assuming she is not severely depressed or anything asd obviously that would put it in a different light.
Thank you for your reply. It's really exasperating, I suspect that if she ever actually agreed to anaysis she would be found to have a variation of a depressive type illness. She has episodes of extreme anger, which are mostly directed at Dad, and she is lovely to everyone else, bit ott, but lovely nonetheless. I can't believe she thinks it's OK for her to just go like this. I too am a worrier apm, I ws taught to be so by my Mother who is a terrible worrier. She would normally maybe stay away for maybe 4 days? Dad's back on Sunday
I think it is understandable that you are angry. You are likely also feeling bemused and puzzled as to why she has disappeared this time around. People can and do go missing for all sorts of reasons.
Do you think she took anything with her e.g her handbag, clothes, her passport, money?.
Has anyone seen her since the weekend?. Presumably you've phoned around her friends?.
I would report her missing to the Police. She would be seen to be a vulnerable individual and she has gone missing before. The police could check to see if she has withdrawn money from her bank account.
Many missing people are found within a few days; hopefully she will be found soon.
Thanks PC. ATM, I called the police yesterday but didn't say in my OP because I didn't want to get bollocked iykwim, it seems so ott! She has a bag which she takes on all her travels and Dad is pretty certain it had gone, it wasn't in its normal place. I was embarassed to put them to any bother since she does this sort of thing quite often, but getting them to check on bank account is a good idea. Thank you.
www.missingpeople.org.uk They can also help and can give support to family members of missing people. BTW the BBC are currently showing Missing during the day on BBC1 (they are now in their 4th week of 4 and some people previously reported as missing have been found as a result of members of the public calling in).
As you called the police yesterday the police would now be making their enquiries. I don't personally think you were at all overreacting in calling the police to report her missing. I don't think any MN person would think that was ott of you to do so. I would have thought they would check to see if there has been any movement on her bank account as part of their enquiries.
I sincerely hope your Mum is found safe and well very soon.
Thank you ATM. I spoke to the police again earlier and they said they couldn't run the searches on her bank a/c, but to call back again tomorrow if there's still no sign of her, so perhaps they'll be able to do something then. Wish she'd just call!
Called them a couple of times today, just waiting for them to get back to me re whether they can have a look to see if she's withdrawn money, been told a few times they can't but think they're getting pissed off with me. Thanks
Ah thanks NotABanana, I think she may have gone to Spain, been racking brains about where else she could possible be, but just keep coming back to Spain, no idea where and she doesn't have friends there, but she loves Spain and speaks the language well. Dad did go and will be back Sunday, he's nowhere near as worried as I am, nor are my brothers. I think they're relaxed because I'm doing all the worrying for them!
I guess by now you've done your own phoning around her friends and any relatives.
Can you establish whether her passport has actually been taken?.
I don;t think the police are getting annoyed with you at all but are frustrated as they cannot as yet give you any information.
Have you talked to the Missing Persons Helpline - I would urge you to call them and speak with them as a matter of urgency. They can help you. MN is great but in such circumstances you need real life support.
I sincerely hope your Mum is found safe and well soon.
Thank you. I've phoned the missing persons helpline, thanks ATM, and called the police again (again again), they are going to try to see if they can raise her status to 'missing person' rather than just at risk (or something) so that should mean that they can access her bank a/c I think. Am waiting to hear back.
